Welcome to our New Forums!

Our forums have been upgraded and expanded!

Welcome to Our New Forums

  • Our forums have been upgraded! You can read about this HERE

Slothz Tales Finding Jesus

Mageson666

New member
Joined
Sep 19, 2017
Messages
2,294
Back by popular demand Slothz Tales


As the sound of motorcycles rumbled through the night, there Harley engines blasting at full throttle along with the sound of Billy Idol music filling the air the sound of the engines rumbled down highway 666. Caught in the high beams of the motorcycles was a lone ugly figure, running faster then a shitkinah wind as he gasped the look of wild panic and terror upon his already terrifying mug, his beak nose flapping in the wind, his blood shoot eyes wide with absolute terror. The freak was running hard but not hard enough and he knew it. The day of reckoning was here.

Jesus had made his second coming, being dropped off at a bus station by a reptilian space ship, to beg for hobo change with interest and generally bum things off normal people and harass them with incoherent shrieking in between trying to fart on them. However the one fatal flaw in Jesus's plans was the Slothz's found about him being back in earth town and after two thousand years of talking shit about Sloth, the Slothz had decided it was time to find Jesus.....And fuck his shit up.

The Slothz's caught up with Jesus at the local bus station bathroom that Jesus was cruising for ten year old catholic altar boys in, in between huffing the toilet bowls while shrieking his father is Hashit and this toilet bowl is his kingdumb. And threatening to unleash the shitkinah of his wrath upon people from the turd eye of his kabbalah god by farting on them if they didn't give him hobo dough.


As Jesus was running for his worthless life down highway 666 as the biker gang of motocyclingz Slothz's chased him, pelting him with rotten eggs, one of the Slothz's launched a bag of doggy diarrhea from a high powered sling slot as the gallon bag burst across the back of Jesus's head the mess splatting over his head and running down his back and whole face, pouring into his open gasping mouth causing him to gag harder and choke for more air as he ran with his arms waving through the air in front of him his attempts to shriek becoming even more worthless. Jesus liked to call Gentiles, Dogs and now he got to choke on doggy doodoo in return.


Jesus in a panic realized he was totally fucked as the leader Slothzbrah closing in on Jesus, yelled dominatingly "Slothz anit sin......Slothz is WINZ!" As he popped a wheelie with the front tire going right up Jesus's ass. Jesus had once talked clown like shit about telling Satan to get behind him and now here was the Devil's animal putting the Devil's boot up his worthless backside.

Jesus flew miles into the air attempting to shriek as the doggy doo ran out his mouth and down his throat, his ass on fire as he shot through the night sky as he sailed upwards. Slothzbrah pulled from the magic bag the swastika of Slothz charged with the power of the Final RTR he threw it like a chakram as it spun blazing with blue fire it hit Jesus blowing him into nothing but a dissipated could of fart gas causing all the grass within a mile radius to wilt.


And that was the end of Jesus.
 
I'm glad Slothz Tales are back :)

Btw about the word "Chakram", is it a legit term or just a corruption? I saw it mentioned in LoL lately so I assumed it was just a corrupted word. What are its origins?
 
Jesus: the only thing in the universe to ask interest on a nickel and say it will send you to hell for not giving it.
 
The earlier slothz tales had more of a focus on the protagonists, for my personal taste this one seemed too gross in a lot of ways since it was all about the disgustingness of Jesus, the way they killed him was the biggest problem to me. I did really like the joke about how Jesus achieved his second coming by just hobo'ing his way onto reptillian spaceship and getting dropped off and then just randomly wandering around, though.
 
ConsistentMeditator said:
The earlier slothz tales had more of a focus on the protagonists, for my personal taste this one seemed too gross in a lot of ways since it was all about the disgustingness of Jesus, the way they killed him was the biggest problem to me. I did really like the joke about how Jesus achieved his second coming by just hobo'ing his way onto reptillian spaceship and getting dropped off and then just randomly wandering around, though.

Jesus is...

iu
 
:lol: :lol: :lol: The imagery with this one, is just hilarious. HP Mageson Always on top of his Sloth Talez writing, this has to be almost my favorite one.
 
HP Mageson666 said:
Back by popular demand Slothz Tales


As the sound of motorcycles rumbled through the night, there Harley engines blasting at full throttle along with the sound of Billy Idol music filling the air the sound of the engines rumbled down highway 666. Caught in the high beams of the motorcycles was a lone ugly figure, running faster then a shitkinah wind as he gasped the look of wild panic and terror upon his already terrifying mug, his beak nose flapping in the wind, his blood shoot eyes wide with absolute terror. The freak was running hard but not hard enough and he knew it. The day of reckoning was here.

Jesus had made his second coming, being dropped off at a bus station by a reptilian space ship, to beg for hobo change with interest and generally bum things off normal people and harass them with incoherent shrieking in between trying to fart on them. However the one fatal flaw in Jesus's plans was the Slothz's found about him being back in earth town and after two thousand years of talking shit about Sloth, the Slothz had decided it was time to find Jesus.....And fuck his shit up.

The Slothz's caught up with Jesus at the local bus station bathroom that Jesus was cruising for ten year old catholic altar boys in, in between huffing the toilet bowls while shrieking his father is Hashit and this toilet bowl is his kingdumb. And threatening to unleash the shitkinah of his wrath upon people from the turd eye of his kabbalah god by farting on them if they didn't give him hobo dough.


As Jesus was running for his worthless life down highway 666 as the biker gang of motocyclingz Slothz's chased him, pelting him with rotten eggs, one of the Slothz's launched a bag of doggy diarrhea from a high powered sling slot as the gallon bag burst across the back of Jesus's head the mess splatting over his head and running down his back and whole face, pouring into his open gasping mouth causing him to gag harder and choke for more air as he ran with his arms waving through the air in front of him his attempts to shriek becoming even more worthless. Jesus liked to call Gentiles, Dogs and now he got to choke on doggy doodoo in return.


Jesus in a panic realized he was totally fucked as the leader Slothzbrah closing in on Jesus, yelled dominatingly "Slothz anit sin......Slothz is WINZ!" As he popped a wheelie with the front tire going right up Jesus's ass. Jesus had once talked clown like shit about telling Satan to get behind him and now here was the Devil's animal putting the Devil's boot up his worthless backside.

Jesus flew miles into the air attempting to shriek as the doggy doo ran out his mouth and down his throat, his ass on fire as he shot through the night sky as he sailed upwards. Slothzbrah pulled from the magic bag the swastika of Slothz charged with the power of the Final RTR he threw it like a chakram as it spun blazing with blue fire it hit Jesus blowing him into nothing but a dissipated could of fart gas causing all the grass within a mile radius to wilt.


And that was the end of Jesus.
That was a good Laugh :lol:
 
"Oy Vey goyims how dare you make fun of our lord and saviour you think this is a joke goyims you are going to roast goyims in an eternal lake fire. OY GEVALT!!"
 
serpentwalker666 said:
:lol: :lol: :lol: The imagery with this one, is just hilarious. HP Mageson Always on top of his Sloth Talez writing, this has to be almost my favorite one.


HP Mageson hands down brought Joy to my day.
Shael said:
I'm glad Slothz Tales are back :)

Btw about the word "Chakram", is it a legit term or just a corruption? I saw it mentioned in LoL lately so I assumed it was just a corrupted word. What are its origins?

Aren't they magic discs used as weapons amplified by a element or rune?
 
Oh my fuck, I'm crying, I fucking love it. Fuck yes Slothz tales. I had such a garbage day today and this just smashed those shitty feelings to bits like smashing them hebrew letters to dust with every vibration of the RTR. Wonderfully disgusting, and a fitting death for that fictitious skid mark. 10/10, almost puked from laughing so hard.
 
HP Mageson666 said:
Back by popular demand Slothz Tales


As the sound of motorcycles rumbled through the night, there Harley engines blasting at full throttle along with the sound of Billy Idol music filling the air the sound of the engines rumbled down highway 666. Caught in the high beams of the motorcycles was a lone ugly figure, running faster then a shitkinah wind as he gasped the look of wild panic and terror upon his already terrifying mug, his beak nose flapping in the wind, his blood shoot eyes wide with absolute terror. The freak was running hard but not hard enough and he knew it. The day of reckoning was here.

Jesus had made his second coming, being dropped off at a bus station by a reptilian space ship, to beg for hobo change with interest and generally bum things off normal people and harass them with incoherent shrieking in between trying to fart on them. However the one fatal flaw in Jesus's plans was the Slothz's found about him being back in earth town and after two thousand years of talking shit about Sloth, the Slothz had decided it was time to find Jesus.....And fuck his shit up.

The Slothz's caught up with Jesus at the local bus station bathroom that Jesus was cruising for ten year old catholic altar boys in, in between huffing the toilet bowls while shrieking his father is Hashit and this toilet bowl is his kingdumb. And threatening to unleash the shitkinah of his wrath upon people from the turd eye of his kabbalah god by farting on them if they didn't give him hobo dough.


As Jesus was running for his worthless life down highway 666 as the biker gang of motocyclingz Slothz's chased him, pelting him with rotten eggs, one of the Slothz's launched a bag of doggy diarrhea from a high powered sling slot as the gallon bag burst across the back of Jesus's head the mess splatting over his head and running down his back and whole face, pouring into his open gasping mouth causing him to gag harder and choke for more air as he ran with his arms waving through the air in front of him his attempts to shriek becoming even more worthless. Jesus liked to call Gentiles, Dogs and now he got to choke on doggy doodoo in return.


Jesus in a panic realized he was totally fucked as the leader Slothzbrah closing in on Jesus, yelled dominatingly "Slothz anit sin......Slothz is WINZ!" As he popped a wheelie with the front tire going right up Jesus's ass. Jesus had once talked clown like shit about telling Satan to get behind him and now here was the Devil's animal putting the Devil's boot up his worthless backside.

Jesus flew miles into the air attempting to shriek as the doggy doo ran out his mouth and down his throat, his ass on fire as he shot through the night sky as he sailed upwards. Slothzbrah pulled from the magic bag the swastika of Slothz charged with the power of the Final RTR he threw it like a chakram as it spun blazing with blue fire it hit Jesus blowing him into nothing but a dissipated could of fart gas causing all the grass within a mile radius to wilt.


And that was the end of Jesus.
Very funny. Not to mention jewsus, which is stuffed with juicy excrements and being insatiable, suffocates itself accordingly.
 
HP Mageson666 said:
As Jesus was running for his worthless life down highway 666 as the biker gang of motocyclingz Slothz's chased him, pelting him with rotten eggs, one of the Slothz's launched a bag of doggy diarrhea from a high powered sling slot as the gallon bag burst across the back of Jesus's head the mess splatting over his head and running down his back and whole face, pouring into his open gasping mouth causing him to gag harder and choke for more air as he ran with his arms waving through the air in front of him his attempts to shriek becoming even more worthless. Jesus liked to call Gentiles, Dogs and now he got to choke on doggy doodoo in return.


Jesus in a panic realized he was totally fucked as the leader Slothzbrah closing in on Jesus, yelled dominatingly "Slothz anit sin......Slothz is WINZ!" As he popped a wheelie with the front tire going right up Jesus's ass. Jesus had once talked clown like shit about telling Satan to get behind him and now here was the Devil's animal putting the Devil's boot up his worthless backside.

Jesus flew miles into the air attempting to shriek as the doggy doo ran out his mouth and down his throat, his ass on fire as he shot through the night sky as he sailed upwards. Slothzbrah pulled from the magic bag the swastika of Slothz charged with the power of the Final RTR he threw it like a chakram as it spun blazing with blue fire it hit Jesus blowing him into nothing but a dissipated could of fart gas causing all the grass within a mile radius to wilt.


And that was the end of Jesus.

*Wildfire gets up stage after chugging a 666% concentrated bottle of mead stuffed with Hitler ice cream, puts on shades, grabs microphone, screams with hate towards the enemy "LET'S GO KICK SOME JOO, REPTARD AND KAKA BUG ALIEN CHEEEEEEEEKS!!!!!!"(Jarhead reference) and starts singing this:*
https://youtu.be/0Ms49WIuL-M
 
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
ConsistentMeditator said:
The earlier slothz tales had more of a focus on the protagonists, for my personal taste this one seemed too gross in a lot of ways since it was all about the disgustingness of Jesus, the way they killed him was the biggest problem to me. I did really like the joke about how Jesus achieved his second coming by just hobo'ing his way onto reptillian spaceship and getting dropped off and then just randomly wandering around, though.

Jesus is...

iu

Yes, he's a pig, but it still grossed me out. The biggest element that bothered me was the grossness of his method of execution, since it made the protagonists the cause of things getting more gross with making him eat shit. At least he exploded at the end.
 
ConsistentMeditator said:
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
ConsistentMeditator said:
The earlier slothz tales had more of a focus on the protagonists, for my personal taste this one seemed too gross in a lot of ways since it was all about the disgustingness of Jesus, the way they killed him was the biggest problem to me. I did really like the joke about how Jesus achieved his second coming by just hobo'ing his way onto reptillian spaceship and getting dropped off and then just randomly wandering around, though.

Jesus is...

iu

Yes, he's a pig, but it still grossed me out. The biggest element that bothered me was the grossness of his method of execution, since it made the protagonists the cause of things getting more gross with making him eat shit. At least he exploded at the end.

Personally, I just see it as the equivalent of what has been done to the gentile peoples over the years being returned ten thousand fold upon their pathetic "MeSsIaH" all at once, but that's just me. It is totally disgusting, but in an incredibly satisfying way. :lol:
 
Stormblood said:
Wotanwarrior said:
Once in a while one also relaxes and do some laughs

Is this laughing QiGong? :lol:

Yeah! I have already tried it and it is very effective in strengthening the point between the solar chakra and the sacral chakra.
 
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
ConsistentMeditator said:
The earlier slothz tales had more of a focus on the protagonists, for my personal taste this one seemed too gross in a lot of ways since it was all about the disgustingness of Jesus, the way they killed him was the biggest problem to me. I did really like the joke about how Jesus achieved his second coming by just hobo'ing his way onto reptillian spaceship and getting dropped off and then just randomly wandering around, though.

Jesus is...

iu
What's the origin of sloth takes ? And why a sloth ?
 
Ramier108666 said:
Shael said:
I'm glad Slothz Tales are back :)

Btw about the word "Chakram", is it a legit term or just a corruption? I saw it mentioned in LoL lately so I assumed it was just a corrupted word. What are its origins?

Aren't they magic discs used as weapons amplified by a element or rune?

I've seen it in another DoTa style too.

Net say…

The chakram is a throwing weapon from South Asia and parts of the Middle East. It is believed that the weapon was developed more than three thousand years ago, having been widely found in regions where today are countries such as India, Pakistan and Iran.“
And

“The chakram is a razor sharp disc and Xena's main weapon.”

https://warriorprincess.fandom.com/wiki/Chakram
 
SdD said:
Ramier108666 said:
Shael said:
I'm glad Slothz Tales are back :)

Btw about the word "Chakram", is it a legit term or just a corruption? I saw it mentioned in LoL lately so I assumed it was just a corrupted word. What are its origins?

Aren't they magic discs used as weapons amplified by a element or rune?

I've seen it in another DoTa style too.

Net say…

The chakram is a throwing weapon from South Asia and parts of the Middle East. It is believed that the weapon was developed more than three thousand years ago, having been widely found in regions where today are countries such as India, Pakistan and Iran.“
And

“The chakram is a razor sharp disc and Xena's main weapon.”

https://warriorprincess.fandom.com/wiki/Chakram
Cool :)
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

Back
Top