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Persevering, What It Means to Be a True Satanist

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We are the future gods of our people. Start acting
I know there's a lot of you who feel it.

A lot of you.

It's not something uncommon or rare around here, I've been seeing it for years ever since I joined JoS in 2010. That feeling of how hard everything seems to be, how difficult it feels. You feel like you can't do anything, you're struggling to feel your third eye, or you don't get that energy buzz you expect to get. Or maybe you think nothing is working, maybe you're dealing with doubt about all of this because you're not getting the results you expect to get, or maybe you're thinking something is wrong with you and you'll never be able to get anywhere with your efforts.

You tell yourself or others "I've been trying forever!" or "It doesn't matter how hard I focus or visualize, how loud I vibrate words or how long I spend meditating, I'm not feeling anything how am I supposed to believe this is even real?" this can go on for months or years and the longer it goes on the more doubt you feel yourself being filled with.

I'm here to tell you I have been in that exact spot, and for a VERY long time and it took a lot to get to where I am now. I'm not coming here to throw things at you like "Oh you just need to try harder" or "Oh just don't give up." because back then for me, those kinds of words didn't help me either. I'm coming here to tell you everything from my own personal experience, my own personal history to tell you what it's actually like, to feel that doubt, what it takes to overcome it, and to prove to you that giving up would be the worst decision you ever make. I'm not a high priest, I'm not some holier-than-thou individual, I don't have special all-knowing powers and I am still a LONG way from even raising my kundalini. But the amount of progress I have made is very real, and still very substantial; I'm just a member here like you.

I was just a kid then. I had just renounced and stepped away from christianity and I was exploring something new, something that scared me back then, something that I had no proof for other than the words and everything they had on their website at the time. I joined Joy of Satan for the first time when I was 13 and realized everything we have, makes too much sense to not believe, and I became a true satanist. When I started meditating for the first time, I felt silly. It was strange and confusing, and it was something I struggled to see credibility in. I will never forget the first time I tried opening my third-eye. I went on for weeks and weeks, then months, then a year, struggling to feel anything. I remember getting so upset that I wasn't feeling what I was told to expect.

I kept looking for 'logical' reasons to explain the little things I did feel as if to justify the doubt. "What if that's just a tingling in my nerve?" or "This is just heat from my blood flow isn't it?... what kind of magic are they talking about?" and "But I see these shapes and swirls when I press my palms to my eyes too, what's so supernatural about this?" believe me I was my own worst enemy in advancement then. And when I wasn't doubting the credibility I was doubting my capabilities.

"This is too hard, it's not working!" and things like "It's never going to happen, it's never going to work, I just don't feel the energy.", "There must be something wrong with me, why can't I do this? Why is this taking forever?" Oh I told myself a dictionary's worth of everything that only prevented me from advancing. Because if you haven't noticed in almost every mentioning of every meditation and working, the most important thing is INTENT and BELIEVING. Energy is directed by the will, whatever the will expects or is thinking is what the energy will respond to. When you are frustrated or impatient, the energy actually 'locks up'. Frustration psychologically comes from the inability to do something we want to do, like a door not budging when you're in a rush for example, and if you're frustrated then the energy is going to respond to that by not doing what you want it to do even more, because that's what you're focusing on, that's the intent your subconsciously giving it, to BE frustrated.

You believe it's not working so... it doesn't. Not because it can't but because you're telling it not to due to directing it with your belief. I dealt with this all the time as a kid and trust me when I say, yes, it is difficult to overcome that doubt. It's not easy to suddenly just 'believe' that what you're doing is working. I had to stop expecting a result, stop setting a deadline, let go of the pressure of trying to feel what I was told I was supposed to feel and just relax, focus gently and casually do it for the sake of doing it. I stopped telling myself things like "I've been doing this forever, I should be feeling this by now!" and started saying "You know what... there is no deadline... there is no specified date as to when I will be able to feel this energy but I know it's not going to take me a life-time. I just need to stop fueling this doubt by setting expectations. I'll get there eventually, forget 'seeing how I feel' in a week, stop expecting to sense something, if I just keep exercising the ability like a muscle, if I just continue doing the meditations in a more relaxed mindset without worrying over the result, I will be able to make progress."

And yes, it takes time to be able to open up your senses to actually feel the energy, even if you get rid of all the doubt completely in one go, you still need to work on the ability and continue sensitizing yourself by focusing on the energy and your meditations, it IS like a muscle, you need to get 'strong' enough to feel the results. How long it takes is different for everybody, that first bit, which is even feeling anything to begin with at the start, is the hardest, but once you get over it things will get a bit easier little by little over time. I remember the first energy buzz I got from the foundation meditation after 2 years of doubt and finally just letting that doubt go. I remembered reading about it and the descriptions of it but still never had a clue as to what it felt like or how to know if I got it. But then one day I had it so powerfully that it was undeniable as to what it was. And let me tell you, the descriptions you've probably read about it feeling like a painless sunburn and tingling isn't very... descriptive of how it actually is. It feels like you're suddenly very jittery with this electrical adrenaline feeling coursing through you, you'll notice it mostly in your arms and hands.

If you level your hands out in front of you after a meditation or any energy working and they're trembling like crazy and very jittery and you struggle to hold them still as if something electrically stimulating is contained within that's kind of running up along past your hands up your arms and is almost feeling like it's trying to escape out your body, that is an energy buzz, and it can course through the whole body on more extreme levels. It just feels like, well, like you have a lot of pent up energy. That's literally how I tell if I've got an energy buzz, whether it's from me meditating or a more powerful being (like one of the demons for example) is near me, their energy rubbing off on me and increasing mine to produce the buzz, I just hold my hands up and see if they're trembling with that overwhelming feeling of energy in my hands and arms.

And yes, even when you see evidence like this you can still suffer from doubt about it all being real and actual magick, that's happened with me. I start getting energy buzzes, I start recognizing what it felt to feel my chakras and aura for the first time, and yet I still wondered if all of it was real or in my head. Whether I thought it was real or not though, it was something and it was more than what I had before, so I just kept going, just getting by the idea that I was feeling something and at least the FEELING was real. I still wasn't sure about the demons and stuff and the astral back then. Over the course of a couple years I started sensitizing more and more to energy, eventually turning my focus on the astral more often in order to even further feel the energy.

I suddenly started dealing with things I was confused about. I started feeling random spontaneous onsets of dread and depression, I would get this cold needle-like feeling of despair in my mind when meditating, and it got so bad once that I had gone to the hospital countless times for so many things. Back then it took me a while to figure it out; it was the enemy. Those bug-eyed alien greys were psychically attacking me on the astral, and mind you this was all before I did the dedication ritual to Satan for protection, so I was on my own in defending myself and let me tell you... you can't do it, especially when starting out like I was. I knew all of the ways to protect myself but I was not yet strong enough to really completely fight them off back then, but I kept trying anyways because I'm stubborn. This is why I strongly encourage anyone serious on this path that you must, must, MUST dedicate as soon as possible.

The enemy started attacking me because I was actually making progress in my meditations, I was actually advancing for the first time and getting somewhere, so suddenly I was a threat to them, and to this day I'm even more so where I'm the one actually threatening them personally. About a month ago I remember feeling that same cold needle-like feeling of despair and recognized it in familiarity immediately (that's the benefit of experiencing these things, you learn to recognize them and react accordingly), a grey had come to try and attack me again and I spoke out to it and threatened to do another RTR, and I wasn't lying I fully intended to and have done so before every time they attack me as a consequence for even daring to do so, I even did 12 once in a single sitting to make a solid point and let me tell you my RTRs are intense because I'm always venting and visualizing lots of hostile, enraged and hateful energy towards the enemy so they have reason to fear it. Almost immediately after I threatened it, the dread went away, the grey backed off and I felt fine again. Sometimes that's disappointing because I do take joy now in harming them and making them suffer, I've long lost all fear of them and take great joy in their fear and suffering now, THAT is how far I've come.

Over the years of these experiences and growing familiar and recognizing things as I continued advancing and meditating, I started losing doubt about all of it being real. I've communicated with Satan and the gods on multiple occasions in various ways, signs, dreams, energy responses, being 'shown' things, I know immediately when one is in the room with me now, I've even heard my guardian demon calling out my name and I've had a full fledged conversation telepathically once. I am far from ever doubting all of this because not only do I feel it but I see it, I hear it, I experience it every day.

I've come from the point of struggling to feel energy for so long, struggling to believe that I could do anything, to the point of now being able to even see ghosts, feel when someone is radiating negative energy (often the person is feeling anxiety when I sense this, or so they tell me when I ask them if they're okay after I feel it) hear demons legit speak to me, pick up on the thoughts of other people around me (especially when these thoughts are directed at me whether they're thinking of asking me a question or thinking about me in general) recognize when the enemy is attacking me or is looming around me, all of my major chakras are open and I can feel them, their energy and location in my soul just by focusing on them for a single second, I have been to the astral realm, I have brought misfortune and bad luck to people who have harmed me by manipulating energy and I have seen the results of my own workings, I have healed things on my body with energy that wouldn't go away for years using other medicinal methods, I have BROUGHT money to me with money workings.

I have come SO unbelievably far from where I was 9 years ago, so far from that little boy who couldn't even feel even a little bit of energy of which comes so unbelievably easy and naturally to me now. I simply can NOT imagine where I would be or what would have happened to me by now if I had given up, if I hadn't gotten to this point to be able to not only see the truth but experience it, to this point of being able to defend myself and control things to where I'm personally involved in this war, personally involved with fighting the enemy, personally seeing everything revealed around me, to this point where happiness literally is a choice and I can make it happen just my putting energy towards it.

Working on this path is working towards truth, it's working towards power, control, freedom. It's working towards finding yourself, your purpose, who you can be. But you have to persevere through many things. It is not easy and immortality is not going to be handed to you, you need to make effort, you need to learn to discipline yourself, you need to put in the time. If I could take back all those lazy moments I had back then where I chose to play video games or watch movies or do anything else other than meditate, I would, because I'm pretty sure I would be even more so further than where I am now. But hey, you learn from your mistakes and this is definitely a learning path.

So here we are. I'm showing you this revealing of doubt, this thing that can control you if you let it, that can hold you back for years and years if you allow it to. I'm holding fear, I'm holding laziness, I'm holding it right in front of you right in my hand, I'm showing you what can bring you down and what can tame you into a slave. Now what are you going to do with it? Are you going to submit to it? Or are you going to knock it out of my hand and throw it away, prove to yourself that you were the one with the control all along?

Are you going to persevere? Because I've been through all of that, I've done that whole song and dance and I've had to make that effort, to make that fight to discipline myself, to fight off that doubt, that laziness, that negative mindset and it wasn't easy, but I fought it to get to where I am now, where I'm continuing to advance, where I'm still growing even stronger, even more powerful every day, where I'm gaining and improving my capabilities. I'VE persevered, I am living proof that it CAN be done, that it's not impossible. I was a little kid, a kid... I told myself back then that I couldn't do it all, that I wasn't able to, that I never would... but I did. And here I am. Right where you can be too. And yes, you can and you will.

Just persevere.

That is what it means to be a warrior, that is what it means to be a fighter, that is what it means, to be a True Satanist.

Hitler-The-Hero.jpg
 
Thanks for the honest testimonial. It's a problem that more advanced people do tend to rest on their attainments and get too high on the horse to help everyone else. While understandable, it's always a good idea to return some help to other Satanists also.

Those of us who spend some time to help others, do get rewarded by Satan, this is no different than spiritual warfare.
 
I can't believe that I'm reading this here...today was a bad day (some old hang-ups kind returned to my mind and i was doubting myself, this happens rarely now but today it did happen) after a while I asked the God's for help
and what popped up in my mind was the phrase "You should always visualize yourself at the best" I started doing this and now I feel better than ever. Do you have some problems? Visualize always yourself that you have overcome them, Visualize yourself as a perfect God, Visualize yourself with a clean and strong soul, feel it and affirm it every day and you'll feel better.
 
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
Thanks for the honest testimonial. It's a problem that more advanced people do tend to rest on their attainments and get too high on the horse to help everyone else.

While understandable, it's always a good idea to return some help to other Satanists also.

Definitely. This path is already lonely feeling enough, all we really have is each other, our family with the gods. I asked a lot of questions back then on the old forums on a different account, so people should definitely not be afraid to ask for help here, especially if they struggle with interpreting guidance and help from the gods which takes practice and openness to be able to perceive.

I've never felt that in my power I should suddenly stop helping our members. Yes there are times I have absences but in these times I need to focus my mind on other matters, whether that's a specific working, needing to add more time onto my meditations or other things. For me I just personally enjoy helping our newer members and those who are still advancing. I have this strong desire to ensure those of our future will be able to be at our side. It's an almost parental joy to be able to see them use the information and advice I provide and them being able to actually advance and overcome their obstacles. I've been through all of it and in a very terrible way under bad circumstances, I know very much how it feels for them, but I also know that some of them will need a hard kick in the ass when it comes to that lazy factor and just not doing things they are fully capable of doing, I sure did need one back then but never got. I definitely do not coddle laziness.

Laziness and lack of motivation doesn't just go away, it takes discipline and effort like everything else to overcome.
 
Well, thank you for this beautiful testimony, as first.


As second, I want to give my own feedback on “helping others”.

I dedicated in 2010, just like the OP. After 2 years of meditations, I went astray, and then after some wandering, Father helped me return on path.


So, after all this years, I never, ever shared anything here on the forum to help others. All the members who are long time here on forum, know that I just chime in here and now, and never write anything to help others. Why? Because I think that playing safe is more important than “trying to impress everyone”.

I am unsure if what I am doing is right, and telling other people to do the same might be beneficial or harmful. If it is beneficial, then awesome. If it is harmful, I am never going to get over the feeling that I did damage to my SS Brothers and Sisters due to my own stupidity.



Therefore, I am trying to mind my own business, because even if I am doing something wrong, it will be only me who gets hurt, not many others who listened to me, thinking “I am ascended master” or something.



I hope everyone understands me.
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
I know there's a lot of you who feel it.

....

Just persevere.

That is what it means to be a warrior, that is what it means to be a fighter, that is what it means, to be a True Satanist.

Hitler-The-Hero.jpg
My compliments, keep it up. Keep your privacy and be careful.
 
luis said:
I can't believe that I'm reading this here...today was a bad day (some old hang-ups kind returned to my mind and i was doubting myself, this happens rarely now but today it did happen) after a while I asked the God's for help
and what popped up in my mind was the phrase "You should always visualize yourself at the best" I started doing this and now I feel better than ever. Do you have some problems? Visualize always yourself that you have overcome them, Visualize yourself as a perfect God, Visualize yourself with a clean and strong soul, feel it and affirm it every day and you'll feel better.

I'm fucking amazed to see you say this, and I'm the absolute perfect person to tell you this now. I am so ecstatic that the gods are actually legit guiding people to me to help others. What you said is exactly what I do when I meditate. I visualize, and see, no, FEEL that I am already a god, that my body is perfect, that I am infinitely powerful, that I am already in the perfect form in mind body and soul, I focus with intense feeling on BEING this in every level of perfection when I meditate and this is what helps me direct my energy to advance and helps me improve my powers. This is PRECISELY what you need to do and what everybody needs to do.

From there the AETHER will actually direct you on the next most sure step one after another to do this properly and achieve this and so far that is my favourite super power right now. I'm literally working on my chakras right now and was urged to check this thread, so now I'm only passively paused to write all this and I can tell you if you're advanced enough or sensitized enough to feel the aether energy of the universe around you, it will urge to do what you need to do. For example I'm in the middle of working on empowering my heart chakra after moving up from my base, I'll focus on it and start with something, I usually start with vibrating RAUM into it and feeding it energy, then I'll keep doing this while focusing on that 'perfect in every way' feeling until I get the urge that basically tells me "okay now switch to SOWILO and clean it further" then I'll do that for as many times as it takes until I'm then urged with "okay it's clean enough, switch to RAUM again and give more energy", and a couple times already so far I've been urged to switch to doing the heart chakra mudra when it feels right to better direct the energy. You'll essentially be told the exact things you need to do to get the best out of everything to advance as much as possible. All this results in VERY powerful energy and success in my meditations.
 
Thank you for a lengthy testimonial, it gives motivation to keep going with the meditations :)

I'm only a SS for like 4 months, and recently, I've started to have some weird expieriences.

Something like a month ago, I have started to slack off a little bit with meditations--mainly AOP and VM. Which resulted with more frequent sleep paralysis'--I pretty sure it's because I slack off.

Anyway, the recent sleep paralysis was particular. I woke up in middle of the night, completely petrified; first, I was seeing some stuff hovering in the air and then I dozed off , and after a while I regained the consciousness-- again, couldn't move. I looked on the top of my blanked and ,holy shit , I could feel something was sitting/standing on me(I guess). Then I think *it* noticed I am not sleeping; I could hear thumping on my blanked as something was walking on it-- it was SUPER real.
Then I dozed of.

I was kinda scared but excited at the same time. I starred to think about the Satanic blue flames as soon I relized that I cannot move -- I think it helped.

Hope It is safe to write about it on the forum and that it somehow will help.
I'm not encouraging anyone to stop meditating, it's probably not safe.

#Sorryforbadenglish
 
New people have it easier because of the Final RTR. This speeds up everything it has to be done daily as form of mantra meditation just for this reason and the larger reason.
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
Definitely. This path is already lonely feeling enough, all we really have is each other, our family with the gods. I asked a lot of questions back then on the old forums on a different account, so people should definitely not be afraid to ask for help here, especially if they struggle with interpreting guidance and help from the gods which takes practice and openness to be able to perceive.

I've never felt that in my power I should suddenly stop helping our members. Yes there are times I have absences but in these times I need to focus my mind on other matters, whether that's a specific working, needing to add more time onto my meditations or other things. For me I just personally enjoy helping our newer members and those who are still advancing. I have this strong desire to ensure those of our future will be able to be at our side. It's an almost parental joy to be able to see them use the information and advice I provide and them being able to actually advance and overcome their obstacles. I've been through all of it and in a very terrible way under bad circumstances, I know very much how it feels for them, but I also know that some of them will need a hard kick in the ass when it comes to that lazy factor and just not doing things they are fully capable of doing, I sure did need one back then but never got. I definitely do not coddle laziness.

Laziness and lack of motivation doesn't just go away, it takes discipline and effort like everything else to overcome.

As someone how has been directly helped by your sharing of information, thank you. What you shared with me earlier this year about the clearing of psoriasis/eczema, and your reminder of when to begin it, helped me follow through and actually commit to the working. Since then it's been like a cascade of positives for me - working through many blocks, doubts, fears and freeing my soul. I know I still have a long ways to go, but the excitement of all the hard work I've put in actually paying off is absolutely exhilarating!

A while ago I was having doubts, as since I've been on this path I've grown apart from my family. It made me sad. What if I grow apart from them and none of this effort has been worth it and I'm all alone? But as soon as I completed that thought, I was overcome with warm, fuzzy energy and a phrase boldly repeating in my mind. It was a line from a prayer in one of our rituals: our one and only family in the Gods. And that's the truth. My family are the Gods and those of us wholly dedicated to them. I have no doubts about that.
 
Honestly, I can't thank you enough for this thread. This is just what I wanted to read, because after eight long years of this overall I keep feeling like I'm losing my way. You said you joined this community in 2010, I have as well in 2011 at the same age.

Or maybe you think nothing is working, maybe you're dealing with doubt about all of this because you're not getting the results you expect to get, or maybe you're thinking something is wrong with you and you'll never be able to get anywhere with your efforts.

Here's the thing: I've seen all the supernatural shit I as well as anyone else on this forum are capable of, firsthand. Things I didn't even know were possible. Obviously I know they're possible now but the thing about success is that there are failures in between that are on the road to Godhood. I've certainly experienced my share, but sometimes that can be a good thing because you learn.

"This is too hard, it's not working!" and things like "It's never going to happen, it's never going to work, I just don't feel the energy.", "There must be something wrong with me, why can't I do this? Why is this taking forever?" Oh I told myself a dictionary's worth of everything that only prevented me from advancing. Because if you haven't noticed in almost every mentioning of every meditation and working, the most important thing is INTENT and BELIEVING. Energy is directed by the will, whatever the will expects or is thinking is what the energy will respond to. When you are frustrated or impatient, the energy actually 'locks up'. Frustration psychologically comes from the inability to do something we want to do, like a door not budging when you're in a rush for example, and if you're frustrated then the energy is going to respond to that by not doing what you want it to do even more, because that's what you're focusing on, that's the intent your subconsciously giving it, to BE frustrated.

I've always been a perfectionist. In my music, in my spiritual practices, everything. I won't stop until I've mastered each and every one of my endeavors. Even if I gave up tomorrow, I'm somehow back at it the next day. So what you're saying has a lot of merit to it and it seems like you're speaking from experience. I'm not a relaxed person, I can't relax and tune into myself on demand, and I've always had that problem constantly living a fast-paced life. What modern society lacks is patience, and even though I've joined into the preaching about patience I too lack that aspect of personality. It's not easy for me to adjust otherwise.

If you level your hands out in front of you after a meditation or any energy working and they're trembling like crazy and very jittery and you struggle to hold them still as if something electrically stimulating is contained within that's kind of running up along past your hands up your arms and is almost feeling like it's trying to escape out your body, that is an energy buzz, and it can course through the whole body on more extreme levels. It just feels like, well, like you have a lot of pent up energy. That's literally how I tell if I've got an energy buzz, whether it's from me meditating or a more powerful being (like one of the demons for example) is near me, their energy rubbing off on me and increasing mine to produce the buzz, I just hold my hands up and see if they're trembling with that overwhelming feeling of energy in my hands and arms.

I guess it affects you differently because for me, it feels like my entire body is just glowing. Not just in my aura, in every aspect of my body and soul. I feel like I'm glowing like a charged ion waiting to react with another ion, neutron, electron, whatever.

About a month ago I remember feeling that same cold needle-like feeling of despair and recognized it in familiarity immediately (that's the benefit of experiencing these things, you learn to recognize them and react accordingly), a grey had come to try and attack me again and I spoke out to it and threatened to do another RTR, and I wasn't lying I fully intended to and have done so before every time they attack me as a consequence for even daring to do so, I even did 12 once in a single sitting to make a solid point and let me tell you my RTRs are intense because I'm always venting and visualizing lots of hostile, enraged and hateful energy towards the enemy so they have reason to fear it.

My motivation for doing the RTRs isn't just to punish or banish the enemy. It's to destroy everything they love, stand for, and maintain to the very subatomic particles of what makes them, them. My ideal world is one with no Israel, no collusion, no corruption, no infighting between brother nations, and no political bullshit other than following the will of the people, lest they overthrow you.

I have come SO unbelievably far from where I was 9 years ago, so far from that little boy who couldn't even feel even a little bit of energy of which comes so unbelievably easy and naturally to me now. I simply can NOT imagine where I would be or what would have happened to me by now if I had given up, if I hadn't gotten to this point to be able to not only see the truth but experience it, to this point of being able to defend myself and control things to where I'm personally involved in this war, personally involved with fighting the enemy, personally seeing everything revealed around me, to this point where happiness literally is a choice and I can make it happen just my putting energy towards it.

Unfortunately, I can't say the same about myself. Maybe I'm wrong. Those of you who know me well enough, perhaps you have reason to challenge my doubts or reinforce them. All I have to say is that the ultimate goal is to make the enemy suffer as brutally as possible, as long as possible, until they are withering away into nonexistence by being sucked into a deep dark pitch black void where there is no hope, no happiness, and no pleasure.

As recently as a few months ago, I would've simply responded with "Easy for you to say" but you're completely right.
 
Ever since I started meditation back in my late junior high school years and using the JoS program to practice feeling and manipulating my auric energy field to heal and to do other energy work, I knew then it was real. And now knowing that these powers and energies exist, I' am now moldavited to meditate everyday for the sake of this cause. You guys really help me out a hell of a lot, and I really want to thank you guys for all your help and dedication. I just wish the world could see differently about Satanist.
 
luis said:
I can't believe that I'm reading this here...today was a bad day (some old hang-ups kind returned to my mind and i was doubting myself, this happens rarely now but today it did happen) after a while I asked the God's for help
and what popped up in my mind was the phrase "You should always visualize yourself at the best" I started doing this and now I feel better than ever. Do you have some problems? Visualize always yourself that you have overcome them, Visualize yourself as a perfect God, Visualize yourself with a clean and strong soul, feel it and affirm it every day and you'll feel better.

See, same thing happened to me but my problem was I'm too fast paced in life, and that's how I've always been. But the phrase that popped into my head is "Doing everything in a hurry, that's you're doing wrong." but that's very good advice too. Confidence is key.
 
Your post made me feel a great sense of kinship with you, your experiences speak very true to my own. Even after years doing this, people forget, any one of us is still capable of a low moment, for any reason, be it purely emotional or circumstantial. It goes without saying that the enemy and their attacks don't make it easy either, and every time October rolls around and the enemy's energy is at its worst, by Gods, even as experienced as I am by this point, I still feel it, and my heart always goes out to the people feeling such negative things before they're ready to. To be sure, it's not fair. Nothing's really fair about the state of the world right now, as such, perseverance really ends up being the key thing. Defending yourself against their attacks, putting in the effort to fight back and progress, yeah, every day can really feel like a battle. I've done multiple workings that I continued on for 90 days without failing once, which isn't easy, and I haven't even yet seen the fruits of these labors. It can be demoralizing, at first. But I remind myself that I planted these seeds so they may bloom and benefit in the future and they'll pay off soon enough.

Even just as recently as the other day, I had a slight mental low point. After a day of online activism and witnessing people's willful ignorance, after scrolling through the news, seeing all the scummy Xian, Muslim and Jewish liars, and being exposed to people who truly felt like total lost causes and worse, I walked outside for a moment to breathe and I found myself asking "why am I doing this?". My brain almost tricked itself into thinking I had been enduring the enemy, performing whats now thousands of repeats of the Final RTR was for the sake of humanity's current, degenerated state. The truth I had to remind myself of is that we're not fighting for what humanity is. We're fighting for what humanity can become. More acutely, we're also fighting for ourselves and for each other here at the Joy of Satan. Sometimes its easy to forget you're not the only one on this path.

Like what was stated in a sermon just the other day, you'll only know what the path of the Gods is by walking it. Blessed as we are to have all this information on our hands to have this information, the actual experience of walking this path is something that's hard to put into words. On a daily basis, after connecting oneself to the Gods, after fighting for them, and progressing, one can experience a great number of sensations and events that a "normal" person never will. Much information has been lost to the ravages of the enemy, and we're constantly working to relearn what had been lost. Myself, as I'd spoken of in the past, I've experienced premonitions, seeing things long before they came to pass in my life. And the truth is? I don't know how it works, or why. I can assume, but the actual truth is, it's a small piece of mystery in life I attribute to the Gods. My point is, the movement itself is a work in progress, and you'll experience things following this path that only a few other people have written on, if anyone has at all. The key point here I'd like to say is, don't doubt yourself. You will inevitably experience things you can't yet quantify, and these gifts are beautiful things regardless of how well we can currently comprehend them. Some people have been frightened off, or have lost the will to continue, when facing things they could not yet explain. To be sure, I believed in the Gods for years before coming an SS. But that was belief. When they'd began interacting with me truly, that belief became knowledge, and faith became fact. And that dawn of true realization can often be overwhelming to a person.

One final thing I'd like to add on that is simple. This is a long term battle, and it has been. Morale can be stretched thin at times, and although some in the past have tried to paint the Gods as callous, I have only ever experienced otherwise. When I've been low, they've reached out in comfort. When I've needed reassurance, they've been happy to oblige. The Gods, to me, have never once been cold or uncaring, even about things I could deem trivial in the grand scheme of the universe. The Gods know and understand that sometimes we can get tired, or hurt, and look to them for comfort. The fact that, even with the galactic scale of affairs, they care about such small things, speaks truly of how wonderful they truly are.

Ghost In The Machine speaks truly. Often, this is not easy. Sometimes it might even feel like the hardest thing a person can do, in the current state of the world. But the more you endure and fight onward, the greater the ultimate payoff will be. So thank you for writing this thread. People often underestimate how valuable simple morale is. But battlefield tacticians and generals during wartime always considered the morale of their men when planning for victory for good reason. It can completely make or break a person's continued efforts. Sometimes people should be told to get stronger, other times, all they need is a kind word and a shoulder to lean on. So remember to show kindness to your brothers and sisters in Satan and remember that this isn't always easy. Somedays you'll feel like quitting, but just remember, it'll all be worth it in the end.

On a more personal note to you Ghost, your words and experiences remind me a lot of myself, which makes me feel quite sentimental, knowing I'm not the only one like myself experiencing the path and its highs and lows. Its nice to remember, so thank you.
 
Any christian who might see this will prove themselves hypocrites because giving testimonies is important and they won't like this actual truthful testimony here. The christian will not like this testimony, and they will still make reasons and excuses as to why this, that, and the other, yet their "testimonies" are just nothing. They don't recognise the truth, they don't recognise reality, and they don't recognise that they are inconsistent, contradictory hypocrites.

Ghost in the Machine said:
Laziness and lack of motivation doesn't just go away, it takes discipline and effort like everything else to overcome.
Staying on my point about christians - they just rely on "someone else" to do things, which are never done. I'm going to add to what I said above - christians don't recognise the truth, they don't recognise reality, and they don't recognise that they are inconsistent, contradictory hypocrites - and lazy ones at that. By extension, many people are also the same way. "Many will want to join, but it will be too late."
 
This is a beautiful sermon. Really.

I think it's helpful for everyone and not just new members. Everyone has doubts every once in a while, so think it's a good reminder that we have to be patient with this.

When I first meditated on my chakras, I barely felt the energy. I was also thinking "what if I'm doing something wrong" or "why don't I experience the effects written on the website?"

It takes time and effort.

I remember back then, the enemy attacked me a lot with negative energy and I was feeling like I coudln't do it. Although I never wanted to give up. I knew I had to keep going.

Our GD is also there to help and guide us, so it's important to have a strong relationship with them.

Thank you for writing this.
 
Thank you, i myself dedicated when i was like 13-14 years old and of course i started bad, not because i didnt feel energies but because i thought that i wasnt accepted because i did the ritual wrong even after i was in bed sad i was feeling an ''electric'' (like something magnetic and electric at the same time, like a ''force'', like that radiation that you can feel in the old TV) palm, it was with good intention putted on my back to calm me down, of course after that i was really feeling, it was something changed within me, i had no stupid fear of dark or something (i blame horror movies) and i was feeling proud of my self, of course this was short sighted and i ''left'' satanism, it was because of the oposition, i wasnt really that informed and the ''jews control all things'' was hard to belive, aliens and immortality (not really left since it was like a pause, like doing nothing, i still hated christianity will all my being since i knew what a degenerative cult it is) and suddently came back, after... 3-4 years... because i seen how people had awoken to the jewish problem, so many resources outside of JOS to inform my self and i said to my self ''hey, maybe this is real.. i readed again everything and i came back of course because of low intimacy cant really meditate (i do not mean time, i have time only that i dont have a place where is quiet to say like that) and the only thing i can do is the final RTS and the raum meditation, and the kundalini yoga..., of course soon i will have what i want, finally a ''space'' of mine where i can meditate and advance, maybe i do not meet the gods like others did, maybe i do not travel the astral or maybe i am not advanced enough to do a working, but i know that this is real, i know that jews are a threath, there is too much proof to ignore and only someone who do not care will choose to stand and be lazy while our world is near the brink of war, i do what i can and what my hands can reach, of course, i do not give 100%, perhaps i still have doubts.. good thing that the truth can be spread online now.
Thank you again, i really needed this.
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
luis said:

I'm fucking amazed to see you say this, and I'm the absolute perfect person to tell you this now. I am so ecstatic that the gods are actually legit guiding people to me to help others. What you said is exactly what I do when I meditate. I visualize, and see, no, FEEL that I am already a god, that my body is perfect, that I am infinitely powerful, that I am already in the perfect form in mind body and soul, I focus with intense feeling on BEING this in every level of perfection when I meditate and this is what helps me direct my energy to advance and helps me improve my powers. This is PRECISELY what you need to do and what everybody needs to do.

From there the AETHER will actually direct you on the next most sure step one after another to do this properly and achieve this and so far that is my favourite super power right now. I'm literally working on my chakras right now and was urged to check this thread, so now I'm only passively paused to write all this and I can tell you if you're advanced enough or sensitized enough to feel the aether energy of the universe around you, it will urge to do what you need to do. For example I'm in the middle of working on empowering my heart chakra after moving up from my base, I'll focus on it and start with something, I usually start with vibrating RAUM into it and feeding it energy, then I'll keep doing this while focusing on that 'perfect in every way' feeling until I get the urge that basically tells me "okay now switch to SOWILO and clean it further" then I'll do that for as many times as it takes until I'm then urged with "okay it's clean enough, switch to RAUM again and give more energy", and a couple times already so far I've been urged to switch to doing the heart chakra mudra when it feels right to better direct the energy. You'll essentially be told the exact things you need to do to get the best out of everything to advance as much as possible. All this results in VERY powerful energy and success in my meditations.
I want to add that of course you still need to do meditations, cleaning, empowering and so on. Just visualizing yourself would not make you a God but if you meditate feeling that you are always clean, perfect like a God will make you advance faster, you should not focus on negative thought but on positive ones like this.

This work for spells too, always FEEL that your spell is working. I'm glad that by sharing our experiences on the Forum we can advance faster than ever :D
 
HP Mageson666 said:
New people have it easier because of the Final RTR. This speeds up everything it has to be done daily as form of mantra meditation just for this reason and the larger reason.
With the Final Rtr i'm advancing faster, i can feel it. Doing it is a must. I'm sure with years of doing the Final Rtr spiritual advancment will be much faster.
 
luis said:
Ghost in the Machine said:
luis said:

...
...
This work for spells too, always FEEL that your spell is working. I'm glad that by sharing our experiences on the Forum we can advance faster than ever :D

Thinking and visualizations of this nature are not meditations, they are solely mental image exercises.

Never conflate these with meditations. Imagining you are this or that is only a mental exercise, and it will not advance someone on it's own.
 
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
luis said:
Ghost in the Machine said:
...
...
This work for spells too, always FEEL that your spell is working. I'm glad that by sharing our experiences on the Forum we can advance faster than ever :D

Thinking and visualizations of this nature are not meditations, they are solely mental image exercises.

Never conflate these with meditations. Imagining you are this or that is only a mental exercise, and it will not advance someone on it's own.
Of course but it will help you have a positive mind instead on focusing on negative thoughts. This is my point, meditations is a MUST obviously.
 
luis said:
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:

Thinking and visualizations of this nature are not meditations, they are solely mental image exercises.

Never conflate these with meditations. Imagining you are this or that is only a mental exercise, and it will not advance someone on it's own.
Of course but it will help you have a positive mind instead on focusing on negative thoughts. This is my point, meditations is a MUST obviously.

I know you know, I just commented for the readers to make sure everyone gets it clear in their mind.
 
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
I know you know, I just commented for the readers to make sure everyone gets it clear in their mind.
I understand :)
 
Thank you for helping me but most of all thank you for helping all of us.
I have some input I'd like to share Sadhana means GOAL and PATH, you could say PATH OF GOALS.
Ideally in my experience what is required of the path is definitely perseverance. To do all you can to achieve your goals.
A good example of energy is a show I like its called spartacus, they are aggressive in their fights which in the gladiators fights In our case it is spirituality and we always push forward in our inclinations. The soul has to do with combustion and those who prevail well that will show, a good sign is when your astral vision opens. You will know when you can rest your head this has to do with when you raised hell and obliterated the jude. Delight in what you destroy and delight in what you create.
 
HP Mageson666 said:
New people have it easier because of the Final RTR. This speeds up everything it has to be done daily as form of mantra meditation just for this reason and the larger reason.

Exactly, the gods keep telling me, that if you want more personal power to do the RTRs.
 
I tried to talk to Satan yesterday, I asked him to guide me in this diffucult moment of doubt.

Thank you for your post. !
 
HP. Hoodedcobra666 said:
luis said:
Ghost in the Machine said:
...
...
This work for spells too, always FEEL that your spell is working. I'm glad that by sharing our experiences on the Forum we can advance faster than ever :D

Thinking and visualizations of this nature are not meditations, they are solely mental image exercises.

Never conflate these with meditations. Imagining you are this or that is only a mental exercise, and it will not advance someone on it's own.

I will also say this for any readers. The thoughts and visualizations are definitely not meditations in and of themselves, but it all comes down to the belief factor in directing energy. This kind of mindset needs to be incorporated with meditations to assist in progress. It is the opposite of doubt, it doesn't hinder like doubt does, instead it 'encourages' the meditations and workings, the energy to advance you, it enforces and makes it more fluid.

And no you can't just do a few vibrations of a rune and think that this mindset is going to automatically advance you to the best capability without the hard work. You still need to put in the time and effort and personally for me this mindset actually makes me do more than I usually would because I'm encouraging myself to actually become what I believe, thus I put in the work and time required, which is a lot to say the least.
 
I am usually just reading posts and reflecting on them without saying any proper thanks , but something about what you wrote and how many similarities are out there... it just made me cry, big happy tears.

Thank you for your hard work, for posting this!
Thank you all for fighting in this war!
Hail Satan and his Demons :D
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
I know there's a lot of you who feel it.

A lot of you.

It's not something uncommon or rare around here, I've been seeing it for years ever since I joined JoS in 2010. That feeling of how hard everything seems to be, how difficult it feels. You feel like you can't do anything, you're struggling to feel your third eye, or you don't get that energy buzz you expect to get. Or maybe you think nothing is working, maybe you're dealing with doubt about all of this because you're not getting the results you expect to get, or maybe you're thinking something is wrong with you and you'll never be able to get anywhere with your efforts.

You tell yourself or others "I've been trying forever!" or "It doesn't matter how hard I focus or visualize, how loud I vibrate words or how long I spend meditating, I'm not feeling anything how am I supposed to believe this is even real?" this can go on for months or years and the longer it goes on the more doubt you feel yourself being filled with.

I'm here to tell you I have been in that exact spot, and for a VERY long time and it took a lot to get to where I am now. I'm not coming here to throw things at you like "Oh you just need to try harder" or "Oh just don't give up." because back then for me, those kinds of words didn't help me either. I'm coming here to tell you everything from my own personal experience, my own personal history to tell you what it's actually like, to feel that doubt, what it takes to overcome it, and to prove to you that giving up would be the worst decision you ever make. I'm not a high priest, I'm not some holier-than-thou individual, I don't have special all-knowing powers and I am still a LONG way from even raising my kundalini. But the amount of progress I have made is very real, and still very substantial; I'm just a member here like you.

I was just a kid then. I had just renounced and stepped away from christianity and I was exploring something new, something that scared me back then, something that I had no proof for other than the words and everything they had on their website at the time. I joined Joy of Satan for the first time when I was 13 and realized everything we have, makes too much sense to not believe, and I became a true satanist. When I started meditating for the first time, I felt silly. It was strange and confusing, and it was something I struggled to see credibility in. I will never forget the first time I tried opening my third-eye. I went on for weeks and weeks, then months, then a year, struggling to feel anything. I remember getting so upset that I wasn't feeling what I was told to expect.

I kept looking for 'logical' reasons to explain the little things I did feel as if to justify the doubt. "What if that's just a tingling in my nerve?" or "This is just heat from my blood flow isn't it?... what kind of magic are they talking about?" and "But I see these shapes and swirls when I press my palms to my eyes too, what's so supernatural about this?" believe me I was my own worst enemy in advancement then. And when I wasn't doubting the credibility I was doubting my capabilities.

"This is too hard, it's not working!" and things like "It's never going to happen, it's never going to work, I just don't feel the energy.", "There must be something wrong with me, why can't I do this? Why is this taking forever?" Oh I told myself a dictionary's worth of everything that only prevented me from advancing. Because if you haven't noticed in almost every mentioning of every meditation and working, the most important thing is INTENT and BELIEVING. Energy is directed by the will, whatever the will expects or is thinking is what the energy will respond to. When you are frustrated or impatient, the energy actually 'locks up'. Frustration psychologically comes from the inability to do something we want to do, like a door not budging when you're in a rush for example, and if you're frustrated then the energy is going to respond to that by not doing what you want it to do even more, because that's what you're focusing on, that's the intent your subconsciously giving it, to BE frustrated.

You believe it's not working so... it doesn't. Not because it can't but because you're telling it not to due to directing it with your belief. I dealt with this all the time as a kid and trust me when I say, yes, it is difficult to overcome that doubt. It's not easy to suddenly just 'believe' that what you're doing is working. I had to stop expecting a result, stop setting a deadline, let go of the pressure of trying to feel what I was told I was supposed to feel and just relax, focus gently and casually do it for the sake of doing it. I stopped telling myself things like "I've been doing this forever, I should be feeling this by now!" and started saying "You know what... there is no deadline... there is no specified date as to when I will be able to feel this energy but I know it's not going to take me a life-time. I just need to stop fueling this doubt by setting expectations. I'll get there eventually, forget 'seeing how I feel' in a week, stop expecting to sense something, if I just keep exercising the ability like a muscle, if I just continue doing the meditations in a more relaxed mindset without worrying over the result, I will be able to make progress."

And yes, it takes time to be able to open up your senses to actually feel the energy, even if you get rid of all the doubt completely in one go, you still need to work on the ability and continue sensitizing yourself by focusing on the energy and your meditations, it IS like a muscle, you need to get 'strong' enough to feel the results. How long it takes is different for everybody, that first bit, which is even feeling anything to begin with at the start, is the hardest, but once you get over it things will get a bit easier little by little over time. I remember the first energy buzz I got from the foundation meditation after 2 years of doubt and finally just letting that doubt go. I remembered reading about it and the descriptions of it but still never had a clue as to what it felt like or how to know if I got it. But then one day I had it so powerfully that it was undeniable as to what it was. And let me tell you, the descriptions you've probably read about it feeling like a painless sunburn and tingling isn't very... descriptive of how it actually is. It feels like you're suddenly very jittery with this electrical adrenaline feeling coursing through you, you'll notice it mostly in your arms and hands.

If you level your hands out in front of you after a meditation or any energy working and they're trembling like crazy and very jittery and you struggle to hold them still as if something electrically stimulating is contained within that's kind of running up along past your hands up your arms and is almost feeling like it's trying to escape out your body, that is an energy buzz, and it can course through the whole body on more extreme levels. It just feels like, well, like you have a lot of pent up energy. That's literally how I tell if I've got an energy buzz, whether it's from me meditating or a more powerful being (like one of the demons for example) is near me, their energy rubbing off on me and increasing mine to produce the buzz, I just hold my hands up and see if they're trembling with that overwhelming feeling of energy in my hands and arms.

And yes, even when you see evidence like this you can still suffer from doubt about it all being real and actual magick, that's happened with me. I start getting energy buzzes, I start recognizing what it felt to feel my chakras and aura for the first time, and yet I still wondered if all of it was real or in my head. Whether I thought it was real or not though, it was something and it was more than what I had before, so I just kept going, just getting by the idea that I was feeling something and at least the FEELING was real. I still wasn't sure about the demons and stuff and the astral back then. Over the course of a couple years I started sensitizing more and more to energy, eventually turning my focus on the astral more often in order to even further feel the energy.

I suddenly started dealing with things I was confused about. I started feeling random spontaneous onsets of dread and depression, I would get this cold needle-like feeling of despair in my mind when meditating, and it got so bad once that I had gone to the hospital countless times for so many things. Back then it took me a while to figure it out; it was the enemy. Those bug-eyed alien greys were psychically attacking me on the astral, and mind you this was all before I did the dedication ritual to Satan for protection, so I was on my own in defending myself and let me tell you... you can't do it, especially when starting out like I was. I knew all of the ways to protect myself but I was not yet strong enough to really completely fight them off back then, but I kept trying anyways because I'm stubborn. This is why I strongly encourage anyone serious on this path that you must, must, MUST dedicate as soon as possible.

The enemy started attacking me because I was actually making progress in my meditations, I was actually advancing for the first time and getting somewhere, so suddenly I was a threat to them, and to this day I'm even more so where I'm the one actually threatening them personally. About a month ago I remember feeling that same cold needle-like feeling of despair and recognized it in familiarity immediately (that's the benefit of experiencing these things, you learn to recognize them and react accordingly), a grey had come to try and attack me again and I spoke out to it and threatened to do another RTR, and I wasn't lying I fully intended to and have done so before every time they attack me as a consequence for even daring to do so, I even did 12 once in a single sitting to make a solid point and let me tell you my RTRs are intense because I'm always venting and visualizing lots of hostile, enraged and hateful energy towards the enemy so they have reason to fear it. Almost immediately after I threatened it, the dread went away, the grey backed off and I felt fine again. Sometimes that's disappointing because I do take joy now in harming them and making them suffer, I've long lost all fear of them and take great joy in their fear and suffering now, THAT is how far I've come.

Over the years of these experiences and growing familiar and recognizing things as I continued advancing and meditating, I started losing doubt about all of it being real. I've communicated with Satan and the gods on multiple occasions in various ways, signs, dreams, energy responses, being 'shown' things, I know immediately when one is in the room with me now, I've even heard my guardian demon calling out my name and I've had a full fledged conversation telepathically once. I am far from ever doubting all of this because not only do I feel it but I see it, I hear it, I experience it every day.

I've come from the point of struggling to feel energy for so long, struggling to believe that I could do anything, to the point of now being able to even see ghosts, feel when someone is radiating negative energy (often the person is feeling anxiety when I sense this, or so they tell me when I ask them if they're okay after I feel it) hear demons legit speak to me, pick up on the thoughts of other people around me (especially when these thoughts are directed at me whether they're thinking of asking me a question or thinking about me in general) recognize when the enemy is attacking me or is looming around me, all of my major chakras are open and I can feel them, their energy and location in my soul just by focusing on them for a single second, I have been to the astral realm, I have brought misfortune and bad luck to people who have harmed me by manipulating energy and I have seen the results of my own workings, I have healed things on my body with energy that wouldn't go away for years using other medicinal methods, I have BROUGHT money to me with money workings.

I have come SO unbelievably far from where I was 9 years ago, so far from that little boy who couldn't even feel even a little bit of energy of which comes so unbelievably easy and naturally to me now. I simply can NOT imagine where I would be or what would have happened to me by now if I had given up, if I hadn't gotten to this point to be able to not only see the truth but experience it, to this point of being able to defend myself and control things to where I'm personally involved in this war, personally involved with fighting the enemy, personally seeing everything revealed around me, to this point where happiness literally is a choice and I can make it happen just my putting energy towards it.

Working on this path is working towards truth, it's working towards power, control, freedom. It's working towards finding yourself, your purpose, who you can be. But you have to persevere through many things. It is not easy and immortality is not going to be handed to you, you need to make effort, you need to learn to discipline yourself, you need to put in the time. If I could take back all those lazy moments I had back then where I chose to play video games or watch movies or do anything else other than meditate, I would, because I'm pretty sure I would be even more so further than where I am now. But hey, you learn from your mistakes and this is definitely a learning path.

So here we are. I'm showing you this revealing of doubt, this thing that can control you if you let it, that can hold you back for years and years if you allow it to. I'm holding fear, I'm holding laziness, I'm holding it right in front of you right in my hand, I'm showing you what can bring you down and what can tame you into a slave. Now what are you going to do with it? Are you going to submit to it? Or are you going to knock it out of my hand and throw it away, prove to yourself that you were the one with the control all along?

Are you going to persevere? Because I've been through all of that, I've done that whole song and dance and I've had to make that effort, to make that fight to discipline myself, to fight off that doubt, that laziness, that negative mindset and it wasn't easy, but I fought it to get to where I am now, where I'm continuing to advance, where I'm still growing even stronger, even more powerful every day, where I'm gaining and improving my capabilities. I'VE persevered, I am living proof that it CAN be done, that it's not impossible. I was a little kid, a kid... I told myself back then that I couldn't do it all, that I wasn't able to, that I never would... but I did. And here I am. Right where you can be too. And yes, you can and you will.

Just persevere.

That is what it means to be a warrior, that is what it means to be a fighter, that is what it means, to be a True Satanist.

Hitler-The-Hero.jpg


You are such a Hellsend.
 
Ayleth said:
I am usually just reading posts and reflecting on them without saying any proper thanks , but something about what you wrote and how many similarities are out there... it just made me cry, big happy tears.

Thank you for your hard work, for posting this!
Thank you all for fighting in this war!
Hail Satan and his Demons :D
I love your picture! :D :D :D :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :mrgreen: :p :p :p
 
Ayleth said:
I am usually just reading posts and reflecting on them without saying any proper thanks , but something about what you wrote and how many similarities are out there... it just made me cry, big happy tears.

Thank you for your hard work, for posting this!
Thank you all for fighting in this war!
Hail Satan and his Demons :D

Nobody here is alone in their struggles, those who are a bit further along the road didn't get there unscathed, I did not reach this point like it was so easy or like it came naturally, because it wasn't and it didn't. I had to force myself to push through years of suffocating doubt, confusion and hopelessness with raw bleeding effort. I experienced fear, I cried a lot, I felt alone, I felt dread and despair, felt like I was stuck and trapped, like I wasn't going anywhere. Nobody came to hold my hand, nobody was there to encourage me, nobody ever got on my level back then to understand what I was going through because they were all swallowed by their own egos.

I realized nobody was going to push me forward, nobody was going to get rid of these feelings for me, nobody but myself. There was nothing to fall back on and I sure as all hell was sick and tired of being a victim to all the negativity. I was tired of not having control, tired of sitting in that pit of despair the enemy had put me in in the first place, I was tired of being a slave to things out of my control. I wanted to gain that freedom, and it wasn't easy crawling out of that pit, but it's pretty damn evident now that it wasn't impossible, because here I am.

That is why I make a point of always making long informative essay posts when helping and guiding newer members, why I never let my progress blind me to those who are still struggling to do so, to make sure you guys know that you can make it out of that pit as well, to make sure you have what I didn't - that understanding that you really aren't alone, that encouragement and guidance. I know exactly what you guys are going through when you say you're struggling, I know exactly how it felt and a lot of us, not just me, have been there. I know the struggle and I understand every emotion those who are struggling experience.

I really do want you guys to advance, to grow stronger, I invest in it every day, I invest in your safety, in your freedom to progress, I honest to my heart and soul want you guys to be able to break free from that negativity, to be able to defend yourselves and become warriors and not victims. I want to see you guys shine in strength and triumph, and I can only equate this feeling to a paternal adoration. Those who are truly serious about this path, who truly want to find freedom and in their hearts truly want to advance and become strong for a righteous purpose in this family, I devote every bit of effort I can reasonably give to help you in every way I can.

But don't misunderstand this. For some I can be harsh in my ways if I feel it's what you need, but know that I do it because I really care. I will not coddle laziness, I will not tolerate unreasonable hostility and I will not do workings or magic for you. I will give you advice, I will explain why you may be feeling a certain way and how to fix it, I will refer you to meditations and tools that can aid you, I will provide you everything you need to help yourself but I will not fix your problems for you in any way. You need to work on yourself for yourself, and if not for yourself then for those you love and care about, for your family here with the gods, for Satan.
 
This is a great post, you really conveyed your personal experience well and showed how improvement is possible.

Ghost in the Machine said:
I kept looking for 'logical' reasons to explain the little things I did feel as if to justify the doubt. "What if that's just a tingling in my nerve?" or "This is just heat from my blood flow isn't it?... what kind of magic are they talking about?" and "But I see these shapes and swirls when I press my palms to my eyes too, what's so supernatural about this?" believe me I was my own worst enemy in advancement then. And when I wasn't doubting the credibility I was doubting my capabilities.

Even these things are connected to spirituality too. The nerves have bio-electrical impulses flowing through them which are part of your soul, the material and immaterial are not mutually exclusive things. Even an increase in bloodflow can be caused by meditation, it just means you increased the rate of your bio-electrical impulses and affected the muscles controlling bloodflow as a logical result of that. I realize you probably know some of those things now which you didn't know at the time you had those thoughts, but I feel this is very necessary to point out for newcomers so that people don't assume the wrong things and make a wrong disconnect between these results and the soul.

Eventually, with any luck, we will all know exactly how the soul and body inter-relate, and the existence of the chakras will simply be proven neurological fact. Yes, not all 'nadis' follow the path of actual nerves, although there are obvious examples where they do, like the sushuma going along the spine. The most electrical energy flowing through the spine and central nervous system is logic any atheist would have to concede as sensible. Meanwhile, Hatha Yoga makes verifiable claims about being able to let you control your breath and direct your energy to gain sensation over parts of your body, and this is not 'magic' that makes no sense, it is just learning to make your electrical impulses go to the right place. It makes logical sense that adjusting your breathing so you breathe evenly through both nostrils could make your bioelectricity flow evenly:If you breathe more through one nostril than the other, you breathe more in the corresponding lung, something anyone can verify with a few minutes of practice. That means even under atheist logic, the primary electrical energy produced by the harvested ATP is not balanced. That means energy produced by an individual breath is more likely to flow more easily through the nerves on the side corresponding with that lung before said energy dissipates, more of it will dissipate by the time it gets to the other side so of course the other side will be weaker and have problems if your breath isn't balanced. It's all relatively simple.

As for the concept of 'chakras', while many skeptical or doubtful people will doubt the existence of a 'convenient mystical number' for the seven chakras along the spine, many of the chakras make quite a bit of sense on their own. Obviously, there would be a base chakra if the kundalini is rooted at the base of the spine. The kundalini being at the base of the spine also makes complete logical sense as that makes it closest to the sex cells in women and men, and fits well with this site's explanation of why those cells' DNA telomeres never degrade over continued geenerations. Furthermore, it fits very well with how humans move around, it's just below the center of gravity(at the navel) so it makes sense that all the energy would need to be coming from just around there for them to move around properly at all. Imagine if the kundalini started in the head, for example. It would be ridiculous and make no sense, everyone would have to be standing on their heads to move around. There's really no better place for it to logically be, and most importantly, the ancients knew it was at the base of the spine all along even BEFORE modern neurology discovered more about how the spine works and so on. So that pretty much proves as fact that the ancients were right.

The crown chakra is also seemingly a logical necessity if the energy is to be actually vented out on its upward path and probably also connects to hair growth tbh. I suspect lack of energy flow to the crown chakra probably has some kind relevance in why some people go bald and others do not, although biological traits in the skull and spine could also be relevant too. As for the rest of the chakras, I honestly don't know their logical explanations of exactly why they exist, other than the navel chakra which is at the center of gravity and correlates precisely with the location where most energy from food is stored, but I am sure others with greater understanding could explain the chakras better than i could attempt to. And obviously, even if people using the chakras don't know exactly how they work, those who still experience them know that something has to be going on, as you have shown with your own experience. If all of that you claim to have experienced is truly somehow merely your own placebo, it's quite the impressive 'placebo effect'. At that point there's no standard of evidence, of course. Atheists should claim there is a limit to what people can subjectively experience despite their biology, even if they try to placebo themselves into feeling things they believe in, but surprisingly, they often do not do this in response to many claims. Of course, the easiest materialist answer is just to say every claimed experience is a lie, but i doubt that is always the case. While i've never suddenly seen proof of an afterlife or somehow seen a ghost or seen auras or directly felt my chakras or any of that stuff, I still have experienced significant and satisfying bioelectrical results of these meditations and i know there has to be something going on here.

Ghost in the Machine said:
Working on this path is working towards truth, it's working towards power, control, freedom. It's working towards finding yourself, your purpose, who you can be. But you have to persevere through many things. It is not easy and immortality is not going to be handed to you, you need to make effort, you need to learn to discipline yourself, you need to put in the time. If I could take back all those lazy moments I had back then where I chose to play video games or watch movies or do anything else other than meditate, I would, because I'm pretty sure I would be even more so further than where I am now. But hey, you learn from your mistakes and this is definitely a learning path.

This is all very well said and motivating, thanks for putting the time into this. I'm glad you managed to achieve so many things even though I can't say i've gotten anywhere near as far, it helps at least reconvince me a bit that serious results are possible.
 
This is a great post, you really conveyed your personal experience well and showed how improvement is possible.

Ghost in the Machine said:
I kept looking for 'logical' reasons to explain the little things I did feel as if to justify the doubt. "What if that's just a tingling in my nerve?" or "This is just heat from my blood flow isn't it?... what kind of magic are they talking about?" and "But I see these shapes and swirls when I press my palms to my eyes too, what's so supernatural about this?" believe me I was my own worst enemy in advancement then. And when I wasn't doubting the credibility I was doubting my capabilities.

Even these things are connected to spirituality too. The nerves have bio-electrical impulses flowing through them which are part of your soul, the material and immaterial are not mutually exclusive things. Even an increase in bloodflow can be caused by meditation, it just means you increased the rate of your bio-electrical impulses and affected the muscles controlling bloodflow as a logical result of that. I realize you probably know some of those things now which you didn't know at the time you had those thoughts, but I feel this is very necessary to point out for newcomers so that people don't assume the wrong things and make a wrong disconnect between these results and the soul.

Eventually, with any luck, we will all know exactly how the soul and body inter-relate, and the existence of the chakras will simply be proven neurological fact. Yes, not all 'nadis' follow the path of actual nerves, although there are obvious examples where they do, like the sushuma going along the spine. The most electrical energy flowing through the spine and central nervous system is logic any atheist would have to concede as sensible. Meanwhile, Hatha Yoga makes verifiable claims about being able to let you control your breath and direct your energy to gain sensation over parts of your body, and this is not 'magic' that makes no sense, it is just learning to make your electrical impulses go to the right place. It makes logical sense that adjusting your breathing so you breathe evenly through both nostrils could make your bioelectricity flow evenly:If you breathe more through one nostril than the other, you breathe more in the corresponding lung, something anyone can verify with a few minutes of practice. That means even under atheist logic, the primary electrical energy produced by the harvested ATP is not balanced. That means energy produced by an individual breath is more likely to flow more easily through the nerves on the side corresponding with that lung before said energy dissipates, more of it will dissipate by the time it gets to the other side so of course the other side will be weaker and have problems if your breath isn't balanced. It's all relatively simple.

As for the concept of 'chakras', while many skeptical or doubtful people will doubt the existence of a 'convenient mystical number' for the seven chakras along the spine, many of the chakras make quite a bit of sense on their own. Obviously, there would be a base chakra if the kundalini is rooted at the base of the spine. The kundalini being at the base of the spine also makes complete logical sense as that makes it closest to the sex cells in women and men, and fits well with this site's explanation of why those cells' DNA telomeres never degrade over continued geenerations. Furthermore, it fits very well with how humans move around, it's just below the center of gravity(at the navel) so it makes sense that all the energy would need to be coming from just around there for them to move around properly at all. Imagine if the kundalini started in the head, for example. It would be ridiculous and make no sense, everyone would have to be standing on their heads to move around. There's really no better place for it to logically be, and most importantly, the ancients knew it was at the base of the spine all along even BEFORE modern neurology discovered more about how the spine works and so on. So that pretty much proves as fact that the ancients were right.

The crown chakra is also seemingly a logical necessity if the energy is to be actually vented out on its upward path and probably also connects to hair growth tbh. I suspect lack of energy flow to the crown chakra probably has some kind relevance in why some people go bald and others do not, although biological traits in the skull and spine could also be relevant too. As for the rest of the chakras, I honestly don't know their logical explanations of exactly why they exist, other than the navel chakra which is at the center of gravity and correlates precisely with the location where most energy from food is stored, but I am sure others with greater understanding could explain the chakras better than i could attempt to. And obviously, even if people using the chakras don't know exactly how they work, those who still experience them know that something has to be going on, as you have shown with your own experience. If all of that you claim to have experienced is truly somehow merely your own placebo, it's quite the impressive 'placebo effect'. At that point there's no standard of evidence, of course. Atheists should claim there is a limit to what people can subjectively experience despite their biology, even if they try to placebo themselves into feeling things they believe in, but surprisingly, they often do not do this in response to many claims. Of course, the easiest materialist answer is just to say every claimed experience is a lie, but i doubt that is always the case. While i've never suddenly seen proof of an afterlife or somehow seen a ghost or seen auras or directly felt my chakras or any of that stuff, I still have experienced significant and satisfying bioelectrical results of these meditations and i know there has to be something going on here.

Ghost in the Machine said:
Working on this path is working towards truth, it's working towards power, control, freedom. It's working towards finding yourself, your purpose, who you can be. But you have to persevere through many things. It is not easy and immortality is not going to be handed to you, you need to make effort, you need to learn to discipline yourself, you need to put in the time. If I could take back all those lazy moments I had back then where I chose to play video games or watch movies or do anything else other than meditate, I would, because I'm pretty sure I would be even more so further than where I am now. But hey, you learn from your mistakes and this is definitely a learning path.

This is all very well said and motivating, thanks for putting the time into this. I'm glad you managed to achieve so many things even though I can't say i've gotten anywhere near as far, it helps at least reconvince me a bit that serious results are possible.
 
With time, you will find yourself to be a hero, the happiness you see in others, will bring joy to your ownself, because you understand, your years of hardwork has made a difference.

Our youth are sacred, and every RTR we do will affect somebody, everybody in fact, but understand, that every RTR could potentially save a life.

The people I see on the streets, I tend to see as my own family, because those are the people I have fought for, Without a doubt, My personal hardwork has affected their lives positively.

Within our own SS family, when we do our RTRs, we assist our siblings most of all, if it is even 1% easier for us, im sure all of us struggle with something, If every single member here potentially has a 1% easier time advancing, this becomes MASSIVE!

This is the WIN-Train, lets pile on some more Winz!
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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