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Beyond hurt

8Emily8

New member
Joined
Oct 4, 2020
Messages
22
I just want to say before you all post, if you’re the kind of person who will call someone who’s struggling, depressed or going through a hard time “weak”, “pathetic” or anything else like that, do not wast your time on this thread! You wouldn’t make anything better, only worse.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.

I’ve been dedicated for a few years now, started in the old forums, moved here, meditated, participated in daily warfare..etc

But ever since I’ve opened my clairaudience points I haven’t been the same. Almost every time I go to bed, I hear nothing but insults. At first I though it was enemy garbage, and yes..some of it probably is. But not all of it has been. I feel like I and do anything right. Too little warfare..etc. I considered tuning it out but I feel ignoring the gods like that is disrespectful. So for a long time I just accepted it.

Now it’s gotten to the point where I’ve asked Satan to never call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable soldier. That’s all I feel I’ve ever been to him. His demons have never been kind to me, Satan has never given me a sign that he actually cares.. and my point of view is if I have time to do warfare on even the busiest and stressful days, surely they have time to prove they care about me? And I’m asking for anything big or major. Just a sign, I don’t want to be coddled or anything like that.

I’m just so hurt. They’ve told me not to bother them anymore. Which is fair I suppose. And I’m always repeating “Satan hates me anyway and wanted me to leave” over and over again. And I do honestly believe that. Even if it is an enemy influenced thing.

Don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this here. If it will even be approved. If I leave. And it’s looking like I will... it won’t be because of dumb infiltrators, I’ll never work for the enemy in any way, it wasn’t because of bullying by the clergy or anything like that. I just don’t feel welcomed or valued by Satan himself. At the very least I’ll go to sleep in silence, and hopefully won’t hear the constant bombardment of insults I loose sleep over every night. I really want to cry, it I can’t cause I’m at work. But I really am lost.
 
I think you are sensitive and have acceptance issues of an emotional character, thinking that you will be rejected while it is all just a fear.

No need to be ashamed I do not believe anyone will flame you over this.
 
8Emily8 said:

Satan or the demons would never ever do or say those things to you, nor would they ever give off any feeling that would imply any of that, either. You need to always be aware of that, because it is an eternal truth. This means that what you hear must always be an enemy attack. Not just some of, but all of it.

You say things like how you don't want Satan to use you like a disposable soldier, and how "they" told you not to bother them anymore. Who are you talking to, and who is telling you these things or impressions? None of these are from Satan or anyone affiliated with him, nor matter how much it feels like it is.

Take a long, hard look at the situation. You say how you are advancing and doing good with the warfare, now you are being bombared by insults. It is no coincidence you are being attacked. You have to remember that the enemy will always trick you to make you think Satan or the Gods are saying this. If you clearly identified the abuse as from the enemy, then you would easily dismiss it, therefore they try to deceive you and make you think it is Satan himself saying these things.

If you are someone sensitive, then this sort of emotional attack was done specifically because it attacks your weaknesses. Everyone is attacked based on their weakness, obviously, so you can use this as another clue towards this being an enemy attack.

Another thing to ponder: Is it also any coincidence that you are at your wit's end, unhappy about your percieved relationship with the Gods, and you are suddenly compelled to make a post on the forum? Is this not the sign of help from the Gods? You are dealing with emotional abuse surrounding your relationship with Satan, so he directs you into the arms of your fellow SS to look after you and give you guidance. I am sure they tried to reach you with other signs, and perhaps they were not clearly understood, so now they direct you here.

It always surprises me to see people that are advanced, yet sit in the background for so long. I believe we all need to be close and support each other. There is no shame with the issues anyone is facing, but if you do not communicate them, how can you receive a solution or advice?

I think for your sake, to gain some immediate relief, you should tune out all the astral hearing until you feel better. You can always flick it back on if you think you need it.

Another potential solution: Meditate upon the sigil of Satan or the Gods and judge for yourself what sort of emotional feeling you get. The sigils, according to my understanding, are like secure lines of communication, so the energy you feel from it should be accurately from Satan.

Anyway, I hope you start to feel better. Your efforts are appreciated by us and the Gods. Know that the insults are always of the enemy, even if they feel otherwise. It is like a bad dream: just because it feels real, does not mean it is. The same applies to these insults: not from Satan.
 
Just keep working on yourself, this means also deprogramming exercises with yourself in the present. Meditation should be combined with changing the way you think. The Gods don’t make people feel bad and it’s just your own inner voice saying these things. Especially if you had a rough childhood. You’ve got to make yourself happy and know that it lies in you and in your hands, not just the Gods. You’ve got to trust in them as well.
 
Hey, I am very sorry for your situation and how you feel.

Let me tell you what, the enemy knows where to hit you in order to make you leave Satan.

I also was on the brink of stopping to be a SS, I thought I was not worthy and that I was the worst scum. Man I even cried, I usually never cry, like really never. It just really really hit hard.

The problem is that the enemy knows the best way to attack you, in order to do alot of psychological damage and tries to drive you away from Satan.

I do not want to share how they got me, because eventho it was an attack, it really really is something that I am deeply ashamed of.

Well I got attacked, my psyche was wrecked for 2 Weeks straight (yeah not a long time but still it was hard) then I gave in, collapsed on the floor, cried and told Satan everything and that I am in no way worthy of being one of his people and that I will just leave him so I am not a burden and a shame to him. At that moment I finished what I wanted to say, I felt a rush of comforting beautiful energy, my room was engulfed in light, and the thoughts/voices disappeared. I was sooo happy.
I think Father Satan just wants that we can openly speak to him and not to try to keep anything secret from him. No matter what it is. Because the moment I came in honesty to him, he saved me.

This is the story that makes me wanna cry every time I think about it. I would even die for father any time, but he doesn’t need corpses he needs people who are alive, do well and work for him.


Some months after that, I did a FRTR and the same attack started.. Bit this time I had much time to reflect what has happened, what kind of attack that was etc. Then I said „do you really think that I am this stupid, you little piece of shit?! You really think that I will fall for that same trap a 2nd time?!! You will never drive me Away from Satan!“ I also insulted it heavily.
It was then that I saw a grey, a really ugly and fat grey. I was boiling, I insulted it threatened it, pointed all of my hate against it, destroyed the picture of that grey, with blades, ripped it apart, shredded it, burned it, I basically attacked it with all my hate. But no matter what I did, it came back right after. I did this for a couple of minutes, and got pretty exhausted. Then I dawned to me that I had to act quick and that I probably should tell Satan right away that this happened again.
And I also thought „maybe I shouldn’t have had insulted that grey so hard and attacked it with all my hate“, a voice appeared in my head and said „No, If someone attacks you, have to give it your all and retaliate!“ and the grey was gone the same moment the voice/thought appeared. This was father Satan once again saving me.


Maybe my experience helps you. I can not imagine that father would be like this at all. I would bet everything I own on it.
The enemy knows how to push your buttons.

Reflect on what is happening to you. You can solve this problem and be free.


The thing I learned is, that Satan knows everything, everywhere at all times, but he wants us to really trust in him and come in full honesty to him. This also stands on the JoS. Now I know what it means.

Reflect, think, and do what you have to do in order to be free, it must be really hard for you to have to go through this for so long. Even if you think that you are alone, you are not.

Satan does not test whether or not you are strong or weak, but whether or not you are honest to him. At least this is what I believe now.
 
8Emily8 said:
I just want to say before you all post, if you’re the kind of person who will call someone who’s struggling, depressed or going through a hard time “weak”, “pathetic” or anything else like that, do not wast your time on this thread! You wouldn’t make anything better, only worse.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.

I’ve been dedicated for a few years now, started in the old forums, moved here, meditated, participated in daily warfare..etc

But ever since I’ve opened my clairaudience points I haven’t been the same. Almost every time I go to bed, I hear nothing but insults. At first I though it was enemy garbage, and yes..some of it probably is. But not all of it has been. I feel like I and do anything right. Too little warfare..etc. I considered tuning it out but I feel ignoring the gods like that is disrespectful. So for a long time I just accepted it.

Now it’s gotten to the point where I’ve asked Satan to never call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable soldier. That’s all I feel I’ve ever been to him. His demons have never been kind to me, Satan has never given me a sign that he actually cares.. and my point of view is if I have time to do warfare on even the busiest and stressful days, surely they have time to prove they care about me? And I’m asking for anything big or major. Just a sign, I don’t want to be coddled or anything like that.

I’m just so hurt. They’ve told me not to bother them anymore. Which is fair I suppose. And I’m always repeating “Satan hates me anyway and wanted me to leave” over and over again. And I do honestly believe that. Even if it is an enemy influenced thing.

Don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this here. If it will even be approved. If I leave. And it’s looking like I will... it won’t be because of dumb infiltrators, I’ll never work for the enemy in any way, it wasn’t because of bullying by the clergy or anything like that. I just don’t feel welcomed or valued by Satan himself. At the very least I’ll go to sleep in silence, and hopefully won’t hear the constant bombardment of insults I loose sleep over every night. I really want to cry, it I can’t cause I’m at work. But I really am lost.

Basically you hear that you are trash, And I felt that I was trash and really believed it. So this is very very similar to what has happened to me, and therefore this is ONLY THE ENEMY!

HAIL SATAN!
 
8Emily8 said:
I just want to say before you all post, if you’re the kind of person who will call someone who’s struggling, depressed or going through a hard time “weak”, “pathetic” or anything else like that, do not wast your time on this thread! You wouldn’t make anything better, only worse.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.

I’ve been dedicated for a few years now, started in the old forums, moved here, meditated, participated in daily warfare..etc

But ever since I’ve opened my clairaudience points I haven’t been the same. Almost every time I go to bed, I hear nothing but insults. At first I though it was enemy garbage, and yes..some of it probably is. But not all of it has been. I feel like I and do anything right. Too little warfare..etc. I considered tuning it out but I feel ignoring the gods like that is disrespectful. So for a long time I just accepted it.

Now it’s gotten to the point where I’ve asked Satan to never call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable soldier. That’s all I feel I’ve ever been to him. His demons have never been kind to me, Satan has never given me a sign that he actually cares.. and my point of view is if I have time to do warfare on even the busiest and stressful days, surely they have time to prove they care about me? And I’m asking for anything big or major. Just a sign, I don’t want to be coddled or anything like that.

I’m just so hurt. They’ve told me not to bother them anymore. Which is fair I suppose. And I’m always repeating “Satan hates me anyway and wanted me to leave” over and over again. And I do honestly believe that. Even if it is an enemy influenced thing.

Don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this here. If it will even be approved. If I leave. And it’s looking like I will... it won’t be because of dumb infiltrators, I’ll never work for the enemy in any way, it wasn’t because of bullying by the clergy or anything like that. I just don’t feel welcomed or valued by Satan himself. At the very least I’ll go to sleep in silence, and hopefully won’t hear the constant bombardment of insults I loose sleep over every night. I really want to cry, it I can’t cause I’m at work. But I really am lost.

The Gods are never that to anyone. They wouldn't even use a Jew as a "disposable soldier" or anything like that. It sounds complely enemy. In all likelihood this is your own thoughts and projections mixed with the enemy. I do not really think the Gods are ever like that to anyone.

They do try to teach people to be independent if you were relying on them for every little thing they just won't show up unless its really serious and they may let you learn a lesson to change your thinking from my experience but they don't treat people like that for me I was so messed up in the head with xtian thinking that they just let me be trapped by the enemy for a bit to really see what they were truly like then called me back and to work on that once I realized the truth but they never treat anyone like what you described.

Just keep doing your thing and try to tune out and ignore this. Maybe invoke fire and use the wunjo rune to heal psychological acceptance issues.
 
8Emily8 said:
I just want to say before you all post, if you’re the kind of person who will call someone who’s struggling, depressed or going through a hard time “weak”, “pathetic” or anything else like that, do not wast your time on this thread! You wouldn’t make anything better, only worse.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.

I’ve been dedicated for a few years now, started in the old forums, moved here, meditated, participated in daily warfare..etc

But ever since I’ve opened my clairaudience points I haven’t been the same. Almost every time I go to bed, I hear nothing but insults. At first I though it was enemy garbage, and yes..some of it probably is. But not all of it has been. I feel like I and do anything right. Too little warfare..etc. I considered tuning it out but I feel ignoring the gods like that is disrespectful. So for a long time I just accepted it.

Now it’s gotten to the point where I’ve asked Satan to never call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable soldier. That’s all I feel I’ve ever been to him. His demons have never been kind to me, Satan has never given me a sign that he actually cares.. and my point of view is if I have time to do warfare on even the busiest and stressful days, surely they have time to prove they care about me? And I’m asking for anything big or major. Just a sign, I don’t want to be coddled or anything like that.

I’m just so hurt. They’ve told me not to bother them anymore. Which is fair I suppose. And I’m always repeating “Satan hates me anyway and wanted me to leave” over and over again. And I do honestly believe that. Even if it is an enemy influenced thing.

Don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this here. If it will even be approved. If I leave. And it’s looking like I will... it won’t be because of dumb infiltrators, I’ll never work for the enemy in any way, it wasn’t because of bullying by the clergy or anything like that. I just don’t feel welcomed or valued by Satan himself. At the very least I’ll go to sleep in silence, and hopefully won’t hear the constant bombardment of insults I loose sleep over every night. I really want to cry, it I can’t cause I’m at work. But I really am lost.

It sounds like you have some insecurities involving the Gods and you're letting the enemy get to you

Why would Satan push away one of his children by insulting or degrading them, or allowing a Demon to do so?

We need every soldier we can get to win this war.

Also you leaving is what the enemy wants and theyre not going to stop harassing you just because you did so.

My suggestion would be to perform a banishing ritual located on the JoS main website and increase your void meditation
 
8Emily8 said:
I just want to say before you all post, if you’re the kind of person who will call someone who’s struggling, depressed or going through a hard time “weak”, “pathetic” or anything else like that, do not wast your time on this thread! You wouldn’t make anything better, only worse.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.
You say that the Gods told you not to bother them anymore. How do you know whoever told you that are the actual Demons of Satan? They could be enemy entities. You should just keep meditating, do void meditation and aura of protection.

Protecting Yourself
https://archive.is/fHTms

Updated Aura of Protection by the Goddess Inanna
https://archive.is/vExBd

Aura of Protection
https://archive.is/11G36

Aura of Protections by Lydia
https://archive.is/PHRR6

Returning Curses Part 2 - Ultimate Aura of Protection
https://archive.is/cHHkq
 
8Emily8 said:
I just want to say before you all post, if you’re the kind of person who will call someone who’s struggling, depressed or going through a hard time “weak”, “pathetic” or anything else like that, do not wast your time on this thread! You wouldn’t make anything better, only worse.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.

I’ve been dedicated for a few years now, started in the old forums, moved here, meditated, participated in daily warfare..etc

But ever since I’ve opened my clairaudience points I haven’t been the same. Almost every time I go to bed, I hear nothing but insults. At first I though it was enemy garbage, and yes..some of it probably is. But not all of it has been. I feel like I and do anything right. Too little warfare..etc. I considered tuning it out but I feel ignoring the gods like that is disrespectful. So for a long time I just accepted it.

Now it’s gotten to the point where I’ve asked Satan to never call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable soldier. That’s all I feel I’ve ever been to him. His demons have never been kind to me, Satan has never given me a sign that he actually cares.. and my point of view is if I have time to do warfare on even the busiest and stressful days, surely they have time to prove they care about me? And I’m asking for anything big or major. Just a sign, I don’t want to be coddled or anything like that.

I’m just so hurt. They’ve told me not to bother them anymore. Which is fair I suppose. And I’m always repeating “Satan hates me anyway and wanted me to leave” over and over again. And I do honestly believe that. Even if it is an enemy influenced thing.

Don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this here. If it will even be approved. If I leave. And it’s looking like I will... it won’t be because of dumb infiltrators, I’ll never work for the enemy in any way, it wasn’t because of bullying by the clergy or anything like that. I just don’t feel welcomed or valued by Satan himself. At the very least I’ll go to sleep in silence, and hopefully won’t hear the constant bombardment of insults I loose sleep over every night. I really want to cry, it I can’t cause I’m at work. But I really am lost.

I'm quite new to JoS and to embracing the Truth, but I care to tell you my opinion.

I have never read of anyone being insulted by Lord Satan or the Gods, and also it would be absurd for Satan to insult a soul of His.

If you truly respect, love and like you said you have dedicated your soul to Lord Satan, then you have nothing to fear from Them, and I'm sure they would never insult you, because it would be like a father insulting his kid for trying something.

What really matters is that you try, and that is appreciated by Satan and the Gods.

Here the things are two:
You are a troll trying to say bullshit about Lord Satan to keep new people away (you created account five minutes ago and this is your only post, and weirdly it is against Father Satan)
Or
You are being attacked by something evil who is trying to lure you into thinking that Satan hates you. Follow the meditation program done by our Hp and there you will find how to protect your aura.

Satan accepts you the way you are, He know times on Earth are shitty.
 
8Emily8 said:
I just want to say before you all post, if you’re the kind of person who will call someone who’s struggling, depressed or going through a hard time “weak”, “pathetic” or anything else like that, do not wast your time on this thread! You wouldn’t make anything better, only worse.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.

I’ve been dedicated for a few years now, started in the old forums, moved here, meditated, participated in daily warfare..etc

But ever since I’ve opened my clairaudience points I haven’t been the same. Almost every time I go to bed, I hear nothing but insults. At first I though it was enemy garbage, and yes..some of it probably is. But not all of it has been. I feel like I and do anything right. Too little warfare..etc. I considered tuning it out but I feel ignoring the gods like that is disrespectful. So for a long time I just accepted it.

Now it’s gotten to the point where I’ve asked Satan to never call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable soldier. That’s all I feel I’ve ever been to him. His demons have never been kind to me, Satan has never given me a sign that he actually cares.. and my point of view is if I have time to do warfare on even the busiest and stressful days, surely they have time to prove they care about me? And I’m asking for anything big or major. Just a sign, I don’t want to be coddled or anything like that.

I’m just so hurt. They’ve told me not to bother them anymore. Which is fair I suppose. And I’m always repeating “Satan hates me anyway and wanted me to leave” over and over again. And I do honestly believe that. Even if it is an enemy influenced thing.

Don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this here. If it will even be approved. If I leave. And it’s looking like I will... it won’t be because of dumb infiltrators, I’ll never work for the enemy in any way, it wasn’t because of bullying by the clergy or anything like that. I just don’t feel welcomed or valued by Satan himself. At the very least I’ll go to sleep in silence, and hopefully won’t hear the constant bombardment of insults I loose sleep over every night. I really want to cry, it I can’t cause I’m at work. But I really am lost.
Someone is really afraid/dreadful of your advancement. That is why they spend every night telling you all these negative things.

As someone has said up there, cut back on your astral senses and get back on your feet, before resuming work on them. We have billions of humans on earth, and you are among the elite minority waging war against the enemy. You are anything but worthless.

Even that Satanist who can only manage one RTR per day and some few meditations is very worthy to Satan.
 
After closing your astral senses,(Only for a while until you get back on your feet) Do lots of void meditation.

https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Satanic_Void_Meditation.html (ignore advanced void, for now.)

What is void ?
Void is the lack of thoughts.

What happens when there are no thoughts in your brain ?
With the lack of thoughts, you tune into your very true self. Here, you are able to observe all the things which are happening with not your eyes but with your true self.

With this you can become immovable as mountain and treat thoughts as nothing but mere nuisance.
You can do this anytime at anywhere and it should be done everyday.

Do void meditation at least in the morning after you wake up and before you sleep.

Those thoughts that are coming are 100% from the enemy.
Its the enemy who is targetting your weakness. Its not from the satanic family. They wouldn't want you to suffer needlessly like that. They care about each and every one of us who fights for them. You were never a disposable soldier. All of these thoughts are nothing but one of the forms of jew tactics.

Hold on and persevere. I assure you, your efforts even when you were stressed out have not gone unnoticed by the gods. They acknowledge it and are watching over you. They have your back.

I wish you well. If you have any queries don't hesitate to quote any of the above members or me. We are here to help you in your time of need.
 
8Emily8 said:
This is 100% the enemy. The God's will never do this to someone. I know how good they are and they always helped me when I was in a bad spot to were I could not do anything to fix it on my own. Astral deception is a thing, it was explained in many articles from the HP's, just because you opened your astral senses it does not mean that they are fully open or that you are hearing the God's, because we live in an enemy owned world with all their curses and because we are not advanced enough to have our astral senses fully work then it becomes easier for the enemy to do this.

You need to do Void meditation (super important if you don't do it already), F-RTR, and a lot of cleaning (to destroy the enemy curses). Another thing it can help is to activate your pineal gland further and the King and Queen meditation, if the pineal gland is fully activated then astral deception becomes easier, every time you hear something bad or insults just TUNE IT OUT, this is not from our God's, it's just the enemy, know this and it will all be alright. You feel bad because you thought it was from our God's but this is not true at all.
 
8Emily8 said:
I know you've been telling yourself all this time that these are our Gods and that it'd be bad to tune them out. However, that itself is the root of your problem. You are leaving yourself too open and the enemy is destroying you because of it.

The Gods do not insult or ridicule us. This is a fact that should be very clear. Even just from knowing this alone, it's very easy to know which communications don't come from the Gods.
You should ponder this carefully.

Do Void Meditation atleast twice daily and practice tuning out any and all voices you hear in your head. Even if this feels bad at first, it will allow you to have a much more calm and relaxed mind over time. Constantly remind yourself of who it really is that is trying to insult and ridicule you: the enemy.
 
I apologize for the spelling errors in my op post. Well the worst came true tonight, I went to sleep and heard absolutely nothing from Satan or his demons about me being still being with them.i didnt do any warfare or meditations today. And I don’t feel a connection to Satan anymore in my heart. Which hurts but...it is what it is.

I’m just gonna hope i die guys... I’m just not worth anything to Satan. And he has made that clear to me. I’ll start affirming my death to make things go faster.

I’m also gonna mention I’ve been having problems dropping someone who is interested in me and is a Christian. It really sickens me that they want to be physical with me and I feel gross and dirty. But at the same time, idk how to pushed them away nicely since they’re really not a mean person. But their energy is so gross.
 
Hey Emily, the Brothers and Sisters here gave you allready wonderfull advice i just wanted to give my share here.

The thing with attacks(atleast how i figured it out) is, the more you feed into these negative emotions/thoughts the stronger the attack gets(its like a expanding spiral). You have probbably feeded too much those negative emotions(since you said that it is happening for some time now) that you blocked out the Gods and the only thing you can hear is the enemy.

I hope you can overcome this hurdle, because if you do you will come out allot stronger! Good Luck

Hail Father Satan!
Hail Mother Lilith!
Hail Teacher!
Hail Guardian!
 
Blitzkreig said:
8Emily8 said:

Satan or the demons would never ever do or say those things to you, nor would they ever give off any feeling that would imply any of that, either. You need to always be aware of that, because it is an eternal truth. This means that what you hear must always be an enemy attack. Not just some of, but all of it.

You say things like how you don't want Satan to use you like a disposable soldier, and how "they" told you not to bother them anymore. Who are you talking to, and who is telling you these things or impressions? None of these are from Satan or anyone affiliated with him, nor matter how much it feels like it is.

Take a long, hard look at the situation. You say how you are advancing and doing good with the warfare, now you are being bombared by insults. It is no coincidence you are being attacked. You have to remember that the enemy will always trick you to make you think Satan or the Gods are saying this. If you clearly identified the abuse as from the enemy, then you would easily dismiss it, therefore they try to deceive you and make you think it is Satan himself saying these things.

If you are someone sensitive, then this sort of emotional attack was done specifically because it attacks your weaknesses. Everyone is attacked based on their weakness, obviously, so you can use this as another clue towards this being an enemy attack.

Another thing to ponder: Is it also any coincidence that you are at your wit's end, unhappy about your percieved relationship with the Gods, and you are suddenly compelled to make a post on the forum? Is this not the sign of help from the Gods? You are dealing with emotional abuse surrounding your relationship with Satan, so he directs you into the arms of your fellow SS to look after you and give you guidance. I am sure they tried to reach you with other signs, and perhaps they were not clearly understood, so now they direct you here.

It always surprises me to see people that are advanced, yet sit in the background for so long. I believe we all need to be close and support each other. There is no shame with the issues anyone is facing, but if you do not communicate them, how can you receive a solution or advice?

I think for your sake, to gain some immediate relief, you should tune out all the astral hearing until you feel better. You can always flick it back on if you think you need it.

Another potential solution: Meditate upon the sigil of Satan or the Gods and judge for yourself what sort of emotional feeling you get. The sigils, according to my understanding, are like secure lines of communication, so the energy you feel from it should be accurately from Satan.

Anyway, I hope you start to feel better. Your efforts are appreciated by us and the Gods. Know that the insults are always of the enemy, even if they feel otherwise. It is like a bad dream: just because it feels real, does not mean it is. The same applies to these insults: not from Satan.

What you said is very true, or at least I also think like that.

But you can only think logically, because you are not in her situation. This is deeply personal, and damages the mind/psyche HEAVILY.

And I believe that Satan just wants her to come to him in full honesty, and for her to explain the situation and how she really feels.

He knows everything anyway, but this is the true test. I believe Satan does not test whether or not one is strong enough or weak, but he tests if you are honest in all things and and whether or not you can approach him about ANYTHING, without reservations.

I was in a similar situation, my psyche was wrecked, I thought I was really the worst of the worst (because of what thoughts were in my mind and would not shut up), I was afraid to be alone, I was afraid to meditate, I was afraid to sleep. That’s why I did not meditate at all that time, was always with friends, and played online games to the point that I was so tired, that I just collapse and sleep. So I do not spend anytime alone with the thoughts I heard in bed. It was so bad that I even cried. It was so bad that after 2 Weeks, I felt like trash and thought that I was the biggest trash on the world etc. It was horrible, I couldn’t bear it anymore, I thought and felt that I was not in any way worthy of being one of Satan’s people, the people of this wonderful and beautiful God. So I wanted to leave, because I thought I was a disgrace a burden, pathetic, trash, and so much worse. This was the first time I spoke to Satan about it, I went on the floor, many tears hit the ground and I explained everything to him. And I said that I am soo sorry for all this, but I can not do anything about it, I tried to ignore it but it got worse and worse. And I swear the moment I finished, right when I was finished talking ans explaining, 3 thinks happened simultaneously, my room was engulfed in light, I felt strong beautiful energy that gave me a feeling, every thing is alright you belong to me and the thoughts disappeared!! I was BLOWN! I didn’t even asked for any help, I just wanted to explain everything, and he saved me! I will always be soooo grateful for that and for anything he has done for me and our people!
He is so FAR AWAY, tho he HEARS ME, HELPS ME, and SAFED ME! This all in an instant, faster than the speed of light! As the Ruler of an entire world, he still manages to multitask and safe me. I can not understand at all how he is capable of something like that, this was not even a miracle, it was something WAY BEYOND AND STRONGER THAN THAT!
THIS PROVES THAT SATAN HIMSELF IS THE ALLMIGHTY GOD, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GOD, WHO HAS NO LIMITS, THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOWS HIS PRESENCE!!!!

Maybe it is hard for you right now, but be honest with SATAN. He is the true God, the one and only, it has to be like this, that you have to be honest with him and that you want that he fills your Body, Mind and Soul with him.

I really really really feel for you, and I really hope that you get through this. This must be very very very horrible and painful. Please be honest with Satan, even it is very personal and hard.

HAIL SATAN!
 
NinRick said:
What you said is very true, or at least I also think like that.

But you can only think logically, because you are not in her situation. This is deeply personal, and damages the mind/psyche HEAVILY.

And I believe that Satan just wants her to come to him in full honesty, and for her to explain the situation and how she really feels.

He knows everything anyway, but this is the true test. I believe Satan does not test whether or not one is strong enough or weak, but he tests if you are honest in all things and and whether or not you can approach him about ANYTHING, without reservations.

I was in a similar situation, my psyche was wrecked, I thought I was really the worst of the worst (because of what thoughts were in my mind and would not shut up), I was afraid to be alone, I was afraid to meditate, I was afraid to sleep. That’s why I did not meditate at all that time, was always with friends, and played online games to the point that I was so tired, that I just collapse and sleep. So I do not spend anytime alone with the thoughts I heard in bed. It was so bad that I even cried. It was so bad that after 2 Weeks, I felt like trash and thought that I was the biggest trash on the world etc. It was horrible, I couldn’t bear it anymore, I thought and felt that I was not in any way worthy of being one of Satan’s people, the people of this wonderful and beautiful God. So I wanted to leave, because I thought I was a disgrace a burden, pathetic, trash, and so much worse. This was the first time I spoke to Satan about it, I went on the floor, many tears hit the ground and I explained everything to him. And I said that I am soo sorry for all this, but I can not do anything about it, I tried to ignore it but it got worse and worse. And I swear the moment I finished, right when I was finished talking ans explaining, 3 thinks happened simultaneously, my room was engulfed in light, I felt strong beautiful energy that gave me a feeling, every thing is alright you belong to me and the thoughts disappeared!! I was BLOWN! I didn’t even asked for any help, I just wanted to explain everything, and he saved me! I will always be soooo grateful for that and for anything he has done for me and our people!
He is so FAR AWAY, tho he HEARS ME, HELPS ME, and SAFED ME! This all in an instant, faster than the speed of light! As the Ruler of an entire world, he still manages to multitask and safe me. I can not understand at all how he is capable of something like that, this was not even a miracle, it was something WAY BEYOND AND STRONGER THAN THAT!
THIS PROVES THAT SATAN HIMSELF IS THE ALLMIGHTY GOD, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GOD, WHO HAS NO LIMITS, THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOWS HIS PRESENCE!!!!

Maybe it is hard for you right now, but be honest with SATAN. He is the true God, the one and only, it has to be like this, that you have to be honest with him and that you want that he fills your Body, Mind and Soul with him.

I really really really feel for you, and I really hope that you get through this. This must be very very very horrible and painful. Please be honest with Satan, even it is very personal and hard.

HAIL SATAN!

Thank you for understanding. Seems I’m not alone in experiencing something like this, as horrible as it is. I’m glad you got thought it.

I have come to Satan honestly. Many many times. I take pride in the fact that I have never lied to him or the demons about anything. I have cried and gotten emotional about it too since I’m water dominant and all. I kind of envy you, really. It breaks my heart so much that I have been loyal to him, shown that I CARE about him, that I CARE about what he has for humanity, That I’VE made time in my day to participated in warfare, even in my darkest moments I have NEVER though of betraying him or anything... and he can’t even show me he cares. Hence why I feel like I’ve just been used.

Also I’ve read everyone’s posts and no, him and his demons never called me disposable. I only FEEL that way from the way I’ve been treated. Why call me to him if he already knew this would be the outcome? It just makes me so fucking sad.

Like I said before, I told him to not call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable solder (my words, not theirs) and lol guess who’s without?

The fact is I’m without him now. And he doesn’t really care or need me in spiritual Satanism. My situation differs from yours in that Satan proved to you he cared for you(which I’m really happy for you!) but I’m not so lucky. I honestly would rather die than be without. I’m in the stages of accepting that currently.
 
8Emily8 said:
I just want to say before you all post, if you’re the kind of person who will call someone who’s struggling, depressed or going through a hard time “weak”, “pathetic” or anything else like that, do not wast your time on this thread! You wouldn’t make anything better, only worse.

I just wanted to mini rant for a bit. I don’t expect anything g to change or any conversation to go on in this thread really. I’m just really in a bad spot.

I’ve been dedicated for a few years now, started in the old forums, moved here, meditated, participated in daily warfare..etc

But ever since I’ve opened my clairaudience points I haven’t been the same. Almost every time I go to bed, I hear nothing but insults. At first I though it was enemy garbage, and yes..some of it probably is. But not all of it has been. I feel like I and do anything right. Too little warfare..etc. I considered tuning it out but I feel ignoring the gods like that is disrespectful. So for a long time I just accepted it.

Now it’s gotten to the point where I’ve asked Satan to never call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable soldier. That’s all I feel I’ve ever been to him. His demons have never been kind to me, Satan has never given me a sign that he actually cares.. and my point of view is if I have time to do warfare on even the busiest and stressful days, surely they have time to prove they care about me? And I’m asking for anything big or major. Just a sign, I don’t want to be coddled or anything like that.

I’m just so hurt. They’ve told me not to bother them anymore. Which is fair I suppose. And I’m always repeating “Satan hates me anyway and wanted me to leave” over and over again. And I do honestly believe that. Even if it is an enemy influenced thing.

Don’t know what I’m expecting by posting this here. If it will even be approved. If I leave. And it’s looking like I will... it won’t be because of dumb infiltrators, I’ll never work for the enemy in any way, it wasn’t because of bullying by the clergy or anything like that. I just don’t feel welcomed or valued by Satan himself. At the very least I’ll go to sleep in silence, and hopefully won’t hear the constant bombardment of insults I loose sleep over every night. I really want to cry, it I can’t cause I’m at work. But I really am lost.


Sorry you are having trouble. You need a hug? I will hug you.

So it sounds like you managed to psych yourself into a hole. Life been getting you down? What's been going on?
 
I'm not like, some super ancient veteran Satanist but I've been around for a while, and honestly I've never experienced anything such as being contacted by the gods first, and directly. Maybe it's just me and I'm really that uninteresting but I really doubt the gods randomly contact someone first, and even less if it's just to insult or mock someone.

I just don't see this happening, I've NEVER seen this happening.


I sympathize but you must curb your self importance. These insecurities are almost certainly an issue from within, you are not that important that the gods come to you just for the purpose of criticizing you. If you want something from Satan, contact Him formally and make your request. Present terms and remember it's bad to make promises you can't keep.

Focus on yourself and the things you really need. You do not need a pat on the head from Satan as if you were a dog. Nor should you expect this from Satan, He is not your therapist. Just relax, focus on yourself for a while.
 
8Emily8 said:
NinRick said:
What you said is very true, or at least I also think like that.

But you can only think logically, because you are not in her situation. This is deeply personal, and damages the mind/psyche HEAVILY.

And I believe that Satan just wants her to come to him in full honesty, and for her to explain the situation and how she really feels.

He knows everything anyway, but this is the true test. I believe Satan does not test whether or not one is strong enough or weak, but he tests if you are honest in all things and and whether or not you can approach him about ANYTHING, without reservations.

I was in a similar situation, my psyche was wrecked, I thought I was really the worst of the worst (because of what thoughts were in my mind and would not shut up), I was afraid to be alone, I was afraid to meditate, I was afraid to sleep. That’s why I did not meditate at all that time, was always with friends, and played online games to the point that I was so tired, that I just collapse and sleep. So I do not spend anytime alone with the thoughts I heard in bed. It was so bad that I even cried. It was so bad that after 2 Weeks, I felt like trash and thought that I was the biggest trash on the world etc. It was horrible, I couldn’t bear it anymore, I thought and felt that I was not in any way worthy of being one of Satan’s people, the people of this wonderful and beautiful God. So I wanted to leave, because I thought I was a disgrace a burden, pathetic, trash, and so much worse. This was the first time I spoke to Satan about it, I went on the floor, many tears hit the ground and I explained everything to him. And I said that I am soo sorry for all this, but I can not do anything about it, I tried to ignore it but it got worse and worse. And I swear the moment I finished, right when I was finished talking ans explaining, 3 thinks happened simultaneously, my room was engulfed in light, I felt strong beautiful energy that gave me a feeling, every thing is alright you belong to me and the thoughts disappeared!! I was BLOWN! I didn’t even asked for any help, I just wanted to explain everything, and he saved me! I will always be soooo grateful for that and for anything he has done for me and our people!
He is so FAR AWAY, tho he HEARS ME, HELPS ME, and SAFED ME! This all in an instant, faster than the speed of light! As the Ruler of an entire world, he still manages to multitask and safe me. I can not understand at all how he is capable of something like that, this was not even a miracle, it was something WAY BEYOND AND STRONGER THAN THAT!
THIS PROVES THAT SATAN HIMSELF IS THE ALLMIGHTY GOD, THE MOST BEAUTIFUL GOD, WHO HAS NO LIMITS, THE ENTIRE WORLD KNOWS HIS PRESENCE!!!!

Maybe it is hard for you right now, but be honest with SATAN. He is the true God, the one and only, it has to be like this, that you have to be honest with him and that you want that he fills your Body, Mind and Soul with him.

I really really really feel for you, and I really hope that you get through this. This must be very very very horrible and painful. Please be honest with Satan, even it is very personal and hard.

HAIL SATAN!

Thank you for understanding. Seems I’m not alone in experiencing something like this, as horrible as it is. I’m glad you got thought it.

I have come to Satan honestly. Many many times. I take pride in the fact that I have never lied to him or the demons about anything. I have cried and gotten emotional about it too since I’m water dominant and all. I kind of envy you, really. It breaks my heart so much that I have been loyal to him, shown that I CARE about him, that I CARE about what he has for humanity, That I’VE made time in my day to participated in warfare, even in my darkest moments I have NEVER though of betraying him or anything... and he can’t even show me he cares. Hence why I feel like I’ve just been used.

Also I’ve read everyone’s posts and no, him and his demons never called me disposable. I only FEEL that way from the way I’ve been treated. Why call me to him if he already knew this would be the outcome? It just makes me so fucking sad.

Like I said before, I told him to not call on my soul ever again if he’s just gonna use me as a disposable solder (my words, not theirs) and lol guess who’s without?

The fact is I’m without him now. And he doesn’t really care or need me in spiritual Satanism. My situation differs from yours in that Satan proved to you he cared for you(which I’m really happy for you!) but I’m not so lucky. I honestly would rather die than be without. I’m in the stages of accepting that currently.
The only reason Satan would not care about an individual is if they are jewish. The other cases are just Gentiles who are too screwed up for Him to spend his time on them, like druggies, Christian idiots etc. Otherwise, any sincere Gentile will usually have His attention.

Have patience, I personally didn't have a direct experience with my GD until after almost three years. But I know she has always been there for me in the past.

What could be happening is you have strong emotional needs which you hoped would be fulfilled by Him, and you are now experiencing frustration+psychic attacks. Do know that Satan sees all and you are not worthless to Him.

I think emotional fulfillment is essential for your well-being, that or you have some hang ups that cause you to be too caught up in your emotional needs. Whatever the case, you can definitely bring it under control. Such as invoking the fire element every day to help you overcome depression and a strong AoP to protect you from the psychic attacks. Cleaning your chakras and aura daily goes a long way too.

Channel your emotions inwards. Learn to love yourself and find happiness in yourself. Otherwise every time someone doesn't conform to your emotional needs you will be falling apart.

I think invoking air can also help you bring your emotions under control by being more intellectual/logical.
 
Sorry Emily, but I really think that you are wrong.
There is no difference between you and me, we are both gentiles, we are siblings in Satan, we are of his people, we are part of his house.

I swear this is the enemy, please don’t give in.
It really also hurts me to know what you go through.

I would also rather die than leave Satan, being a Satanist is the thing I am most proud of. Please do not do anything you will regret. And do not even think about taking your life!

I bet even HP HC is worried about you:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=44026


Leaving Satan is exactly what the enemy wants, and if you leave Satan he probably won’t come to you and push him to you, since you left by your choice, Probably even if the enemy influenced you to do so.

https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/SATANIC.html

Read the third FAQ on the bottom of the page.


Leaving is no option. There is something you can do.


My theory is that the enemy can send thoughtforms to you which stick to your soul. Maybe thats why I saw a grey no matter what I did and had those penetrant disgusting, sickening thought and you hear those disgusting voices. Those are NOT the Gods.
The enemy is really disgusting.

It should be really obvious what you should do next.
 
8Emily8 said:
I apologize for the spelling errors in my op post. Well the worst came true tonight, I went to sleep and heard absolutely nothing from Satan or his demons about me being still being with them.i didnt do any warfare or meditations today. And I don’t feel a connection to Satan anymore in my heart. Which hurts but...it is what it is.

I’m just gonna hope i die guys... I’m just not worth anything to Satan. And he has made that clear to me. I’ll start affirming my death to make things go faster.

I’m also gonna mention I’ve been having problems dropping someone who is interested in me and is a Christian. It really sickens me that they want to be physical with me and I feel gross and dirty. But at the same time, idk how to pushed them away nicely since they’re really not a mean person. But their energy is so gross.

Listen here, Emily. Carefully listen.

What you say as 'worst' is not worst at all. Many satanists here were not contacted until years later. You don't have to hear anything. When you are trying to contact gods, meditate upon their sigils without the expectation of feeling anything. You will know that you have contacted them by instinct and by soul.

About you not feeling a connection to Satan anymore, I think its something that your sub conscious mind has convinced you to believe out of guilt. In the deepest depth of your mind, you might have convinced yourself that since I can't feel any conncection or that I have not done any meditation/warfare today, He must have left me.
When in truth, he had never left you.
He hadn't ever left you. Never.

What did he think when he saw you not doing meditation/warfare ?
I don't know but most probably have thought that 'Its okay, my child.You have fought very well, Rest for now.'

Go to this site here, first:
https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Satan.html

Here, see the sigil. You can pick either one.
Without any expectations about whether he has left you or not or angry or not, visualise it in your mind.
Then, don't speak anything but try to communicate your feelings,emotions and intent and most of all be honest with yourself while visualising.
You don't need to say or speak anything, just be honest and speak with your heart.
You can even speak words in your mind but I would advise you to communicate with your heart first.

Most of all emily, don't have your life hinging upon like that. You are wrong when you say that he has made it clear to you. Its not him who has made it clear to you, its you who has convinced yourself that he has left you. Its you who has sub consciously manipulated your mind that he has left you.
Before you contact him, clear your mind of any kinds of expectaions or self imposed thoughts.

Trust in him. As far as I know and have felt him, he will never leave someone like that.

Now about the christian, here are some things you can do to completely remove him out of your surroundings:

In the short term:
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Detaching.html
Here, Its okay to not have Satanic Rosary.
Do this for 40 days.

In the long term:
Do aura of protection before you sleep and after you wake up. This should be done after foundation/energy breathing.
Foundation -
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Foundation_Meditation.html
Aura of Protection -
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Protection.html

This is something which you will do as long as you live rather than the 40 days of above.

This way you can completely remove him from your life. It doesn't matter if he's mean or not, you need to know that his energy is destructive to me and that you really need him to get out from your life.
Also be assertive with what you want. We Satanists are never submissive. If he still acts like a pesky stain, ask help from your gods.
If you have any questions, quote any other members or me.

Whatever you do Emily, always persevere.
I really wish to you see you on the forums in the future.
 
Dahaarkan said:
I'm not like, some super ancient veteran Satanist but I've been around for a while, and honestly I've never experienced anything such as being contacted by the gods first, and directly. Maybe it's just me and I'm really that uninteresting but I really doubt the gods randomly contact someone first, and even less if it's just to insult or mock someone.

I just don't see this happening, I've NEVER seen this happening.


I sympathize but you must curb your self importance. These insecurities are almost certainly an issue from within, you are not that important that the gods come to you just for the purpose of criticizing you. If you want something from Satan, contact Him formally and make your request. Present terms and remember it's bad to make promises you can't keep.

Focus on yourself and the things you really need. You do not need a pat on the head from Satan as if you were a dog. Nor should you expect this from Satan, He is not your therapist. Just relax, focus on yourself for a while.
This is also quite true, though I think it also depends on one's GD. Some like to interact with the individual much more than others or it may even be about how busy they are.

But as you said, you curb your self importance. The more one does, the more their chances of interacting with the Demons. Reaching out to the Gods is also very important. I think the OP should try to do the Standard Satanic Ritual every once in a while.
 
8Emily8 said:
I apologize for the spelling errors in my op post. Well the worst came true tonight, I went to sleep and heard absolutely nothing from Satan or his demons about me being still being with them.i didnt do any warfare or meditations today. And I don’t feel a connection to Satan anymore in my heart. Which hurts but...it is what it is.

I’m just gonna hope i die guys... I’m just not worth anything to Satan. And he has made that clear to me. I’ll start affirming my death to make things go faster.

I’m also gonna mention I’ve been having problems dropping someone who is interested in me and is a Christian. It really sickens me that they want to be physical with me and I feel gross and dirty. But at the same time, idk how to pushed them away nicely since they’re really not a mean person. But their energy is so gross.

Hey emily, since no one mentioned about dropping this person.. Ill say the following to you. Your own life is the most important. To lose someone you love is going to hurt anyways, but must you yourself burden yourself with someone like that?
If you dont like it you could do it brief and clearly ' I am not interested in a relatonship with you' or something along those lines.
And if he keeps bugging you just quit talking to him or even block him from your accounts.
Do a binding spell if hes the kibd thatd stalk.

Anyway I g2g now. Maybe ill say more later.
 
Dahaarkan said:
I'm not like, some super ancient veteran Satanist but I've been around for a while, and honestly I've never experienced anything such as being contacted by the gods first, and directly. Maybe it's just me and I'm really that uninteresting but I really doubt the gods randomly contact someone first, and even less if it's just to insult or mock someone.

I just don't see this happening, I've NEVER seen this happening.
It also depends on the person, as those who are more open will also receive more communications from the Gods. The issue is these people are also much more open to enemy attacks as well, so they usually go crazy or otherwise suffer greatly from lack of understanding, like Emily here.

It's of prime importance to learn controlling your thoughts and to accept the core essence of what the Gods wont do, such as harassing you or insulting you. This way it becomes easier for these individuals to stay sane.

As a disclaimer though, I'm not one of those people and only receive intuitive "nudges" for the most part, when I don't actively try to communicate with them.
 
No use guys... I tried to meditate last night after reading the replies and the new sermon on enemy brainwashing. But it’s no use. Satan won’t take me back so there’s nothing I can do. After meditating on his sigil he made it clear to me.
 
Over the course of a couple of days, one entity tried harrasing me like you get now.
Every night before sleep and morning waking up, the entity would speak to me in a very low voice, similar of the Mortal Kombat voiceovers, calling me names. It was absolute the funniest thing ever I experienced.

Waking up and hearing a low voice telling you "you little shit" or "retard" is very random. After I laughed about it for a couple of days the entity stopped.

Also hearing curses can be stopped by upping the Rtrs
 
I had the feeling that Satan has abandoned me and I suffered a lot of pain because of that. I have been harassed by these thoughts for over 1 year and I was just overwhelmed and screamed and cried a few days ago. I do love and care Satan very much and I was hurt by thinking that Satan may doesn't care my loyalty or love at all. I even suspected that I don't have any guardian demon because everyone dislike me, don't care anything about my love and devotion and abandoned me.

But now these thoughts and feelings cannot harass me anymore.

I was not convinced that Satan didn't leave me or there is anyone who does care about me. But it doesn't matter. If Satan do left me, I won't drown myself in sadness or desperation. Instead, I will stand up and fight the enemy even more actively. I will show my value that I'm absolutely a worthy Warrior who can surely be taken back. Only this can give me a second chance and help me get back what I want. I will never leave Satan for I love and care him deeply no matter whether he cares me or not, and I will never allow anyone depart me away from Satan even if Satan himself.

If someone call me worthless or useless, I will absolutely disagree and I will prove my value to him instead of being depressive and sad.

Why thinking that you can't I change it all? Even if Satan does dislike you, why don't you choose to become better to surprise him instead of being depressive and ruin yourself. If you are excellent and better than 99.99% people in this world, he will surely start to care about you and like you.

There are so many people who are cared and loved by Satan and I want to become one of them. For this I would rather do anything, including throwing my weakness and depressive mindset away from me. I think you will do the same choice if you still care about Satan.
 
Lunar Dance 666 said:
8Emily8 said:
I apologize for the spelling errors in my op post. Well the worst came true tonight, I went to sleep and heard absolutely nothing from Satan or his demons about me being still being with them.i didnt do any warfare or meditations today. And I don’t feel a connection to Satan anymore in my heart. Which hurts but...it is what it is.

I’m just gonna hope i die guys... I’m just not worth anything to Satan. And he has made that clear to me. I’ll start affirming my death to make things go faster.

I’m also gonna mention I’ve been having problems dropping someone who is interested in me and is a Christian. It really sickens me that they want to be physical with me and I feel gross and dirty. But at the same time, idk how to pushed them away nicely since they’re really not a mean person. But their energy is so gross.

Hey emily, since no one mentioned about dropping this person.. Ill say the following to you. Your own life is the most important. To lose someone you love is going to hurt anyways, but must you yourself burden yourself with someone like that?
If you dont like it you could do it brief and clearly ' I am not interested in a relatonship with you' or something along those lines.
And if he keeps bugging you just quit talking to him or even block him from your accounts.
Do a binding spell if hes the kibd thatd stalk.

Anyway I g2g now. Maybe ill say more later.

Do you even understand what kind of BS you just said?
 
My intuition tells me this is a troll account created to give the impression that the old gods are aggressive, unforgiving and cruel, and to plant insecurities in new members. The creation of the account just to start a thread on this specific topic makes it beyond obvious to me.

The gods do not waste their time harassing random people, this does not happen. Nothing about this person's story makes any sense and never in all my years as a Satanist have I experienced or heard of someone who experienced such things. It's just blatant made up bullshit in the form of a sob story to try to gain sympathy and approval. To get this poison across and try to scare new people off this path.


Satan does not abandon Satanists this also does not happen, and has never happened outside of cases of treason. People may become distant or disorganized, but the dedication is forever, and it goes both ways. People fail and fall repeatedly on the path of self betterment and nobody is punished or abandoned for making mistakes.

You punish yourself if you do not learn from them, and don't continue to move forward. The gods do not punish or abandon Satanists over such petty nonsense. In my personal experience, Satan especially is very patient and welcoming.
 
8Emily8 said:
No use guys... I tried to meditate last night after reading the replies and the new sermon on enemy brainwashing. But it’s no use. Satan won’t take me back so there’s nothing I can do. After meditating on his sigil he made it clear to me.

Persever,persevere and persevere with Satanism.
That's all I will say.

Take care.
 
Dahaarkan said:
My intuition tells me this is a troll account created to give the impression that the old gods are aggressive, unforgiving and cruel, and to plant insecurities in new members. The creation of the account just to start a thread on this specific topic makes it beyond obvious to me.

The gods do not waste their time harassing random people, this does not happen. Nothing about this person's story makes any sense and never in all my years as a Satanist have I experienced or heard of someone who experienced such things. It's just blatant made up bullshit in the form of a sob story to try to gain sympathy and approval. To get this poison across and try to scare new people off this path.


Satan does not abandon Satanists this also does not happen, and has never happened outside of cases of treason. People may become distant or disorganized, but the dedication is forever, and it goes both ways. People fail and fall repeatedly on the path of self betterment and nobody is punished or abandoned for making mistakes.

You punish yourself if you do not learn from them, and don't continue to move forward. The gods do not punish or abandon Satanists over such petty nonsense. In my personal experience, Satan especially is very patient and welcoming.

What can I say? Your instincts are wrong. I made this account cause I wanted some kind of help or relief from my situation. I’ve been with Satan for a good while. Ask him your self. I’ve been here since the old forums but I never made an account cause I had nothing new to add to what the more experienced members were already adding.

I get there’s been a lot of infiltrators recently, but it’s not my fault you’re paranoid. Why even bother commenting on this thread if you though I was some infiltrator? I’m just having a really rough time, no need to be an a** dude.

The HPs are perfectly free to delete this thread if THEY feel I’m purposely trying to lead others astray. Which I’m not.
 
NinRick said:
Lunar Dance 666 said:
8Emily8 said:
I apologize for the spelling errors in my op post. Well the worst came true tonight, I went to sleep and heard absolutely nothing from Satan or his demons about me being still being with them.i didnt do any warfare or meditations today. And I don’t feel a connection to Satan anymore in my heart. Which hurts but...it is what it is.

I’m just gonna hope i die guys... I’m just not worth anything to Satan. And he has made that clear to me. I’ll start affirming my death to make things go faster.

I’m also gonna mention I’ve been having problems dropping someone who is interested in me and is a Christian. It really sickens me that they want to be physical with me and I feel gross and dirty. But at the same time, idk how to pushed them away nicely since they’re really not a mean person. But their energy is so gross.

Hey emily, since no one mentioned about dropping this person.. Ill say the following to you. Your own life is the most important. To lose someone you love is going to hurt anyways, but must you yourself burden yourself with someone like that?
If you dont like it you could do it brief and clearly ' I am not interested in a relatonship with you' or something along those lines.
And if he keeps bugging you just quit talking to him or even block him from your accounts.
Do a binding spell if hes the kibd thatd stalk.

Anyway I g2g now. Maybe ill say more later.

Do you even understand what kind of BS you just said?
I think you are talking to me Ninrick.
So why is this BS? Enlighten me.
 
Kudra said:
I had the feeling that Satan has abandoned me and I suffered a lot of pain because of that. I have been harassed by these thoughts for over 1 year and I was just overwhelmed and screamed and cried a few days ago. I do love and care Satan very much and I was hurt by thinking that Satan may doesn't care my loyalty or love at all. I even suspected that I don't have any guardian demon because everyone dislike me, don't care anything about my love and devotion and abandoned me.

But now these thoughts and feelings cannot harass me anymore.

I was not convinced that Satan didn't leave me or there is anyone who does care about me. But it doesn't matter. If Satan do left me, I won't drown myself in sadness or desperation. Instead, I will stand up and fight the enemy even more actively. I will show my value that I'm absolutely a worthy Warrior who can surely be taken back. Only this can give me a second chance and help me get back what I want. I will never leave Satan for I love and care him deeply no matter whether he cares me or not, and I will never allow anyone depart me away from Satan even if Satan himself.

If someone call me worthless or useless, I will absolutely disagree and I will prove my value to him instead of being depressive and sad.

Why thinking that you can't I change it all? Even if Satan does dislike you, why don't you choose to become better to surprise him instead of being depressive and ruin yourself. If you are excellent and better than 99.99% people in this world, he will surely start to care about you and like you.

There are so many people who are cared and loved by Satan and I want to become one of them. For this I would rather do anything, including throwing my weakness and depressive mindset away from me. I think you will do the same choice if you still care about Satan.

Yes, to keep fighting is exactly what i intend to do. If I’m unwelcome, I’ll die knowing I honestly did try.. and I’ll go out with knowing I did the right thing even when hated. If I’m accepted and it’s all just some enemy attack like the HPs sermon described, then I’ll be happy. I guess it’s somewhat of a win-win situation.

Don’t get me wrong though, I’m feeling better and less erratic than the last time I posted, But I’m still really really depressed. To think I could be fighting And meditating in vain is still a disheartening thought for me.
 
Username said:
8Emily8 said:
No use guys... I tried to meditate last night after reading the replies and the new sermon on enemy brainwashing. But it’s no use. Satan won’t take me back so there’s nothing I can do. After meditating on his sigil he made it clear to me.

Persever,persevere and persevere with Satanism.
That's all I will say.

Take care.

Yeah... I meditated again this morning and a few hours ago, along with 4 RTRs. And I feel feel less hysterical and more level-headed. AKA not crying my eyes out

My problem comes before bed, I guess that when I’m more open psychically. So im worried.. That’s when the insults begin. But it seems like people who have experienced this say it’s the enemy. Only time will tell. I hope things go better tonight. Thank you for sharing your experience and your words.
 
8Emily8 said:
What can I say? Your instincts are wrong. I made this account cause I wanted some kind of help or relief from my situation. I’ve been with Satan for a good while. Ask him your self. I’ve been here since the old forums but I never made an account cause I had nothing new to add to what the more experienced members were already adding.

I get there’s been a lot of infiltrators recently, but it’s not my fault you’re paranoid. Why even bother commenting on this thread if you though I was some infiltrator? I’m just having a really rough time, no need to be an a** dude.

The HPs are perfectly free to delete this thread if THEY feel I’m purposely trying to lead others astray. Which I’m not.

In the unlikely event that you aren't just a troll your situation is laughable at best. A really rough time is not having the money to pay bills or buy food, or having a serious injury or disease. Not being butthurt over stupid shit and wanting attention. You're just not going to get a lot of sympathy for me because people have given you advice and your stance is giving up before even trying.

I don't know how sheltered you must be to crack and collapse over just being insulted. I've told you repeatedly the gods do not harass Satanists, this is your own self-hating mind. At worst they may become distant.


I see right through you this strategy of fishing for goyim sympathy to get your posts approved, and then pretending like you're in a situation that can't be helped is very old and won't fly here. You created this account and started this thread to spread the poison of insecurity and fear of the gods among Satanists. It's beyond obvious when one looks at this thread logically, rather than emotionally.
 
Lunar Dance 666 said:
NinRick said:
Lunar Dance 666 said:
Hey emily, since no one mentioned about dropping this person.. Ill say the following to you. Your own life is the most important. To lose someone you love is going to hurt anyways, but must you yourself burden yourself with someone like that?
If you dont like it you could do it brief and clearly ' I am not interested in a relatonship with you' or something along those lines.
And if he keeps bugging you just quit talking to him or even block him from your accounts.
Do a binding spell if hes the kibd thatd stalk.

Anyway I g2g now. Maybe ill say more later.

Do you even understand what kind of BS you just said?
I think you are talking to me Ninrick.
So why is this BS? Enlighten me.

I have to apologise Lunar, I thought that you talked about Satan, I was very tired when I read this, but you talked about this christian guy. Sorry .
 
Hey Emily,

You know what this reminds me of? The rune Nauthiz.
https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Odin.html

Here's the description:
#10. Nauthiz is a rune of endurance and will. The mental strength to last. It represents the dark night of the soul. It is connected to the Hagl rune. When used in white magick, this rune gives defiance and the strength to carry on when all hope seems lost. It is a rune of survival and fearlessness in the face of death. When directed at another, this rune can give the spiritual strength to carry on and endure in the face of disaster. Used in black magick, it brings suffering and hardship. Naudh is a rune of friction and resistance. A rune of banishings and cleansing by fire. Naudh can be used in counter-spells. Develops the will and self-sufficiency. The rune of trial and testing. Obsidian is the gem used with this rune. Obsidian is also the gem of the planet Saturn which bestows hardship and endurance.

Depression is not very easy to get out of, and I think you're doing great, keeping up with meditations and all :) . But now it is important to work on strengthening yourself, and your mind.
So that you can keep saying with confidence that you are a good person, and doing great, and that whomever else thinks shit of you doesn't know what he or she is talking about.

I am not sure and maybe it was not understood in my last message on this topic, but it is important to learn to build ourselves up, to know ourselves fully, so that we can separate truth from lies. And to mature our views (I mean here, the time it takes to gain wisdom).
Also to understand that what it takes to lead your own life instead of being lead by others.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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