I don’t want to die, but I don’t see any other option!

The problem is this:
I am already 25 years old, I have neglected school, I have a very low level of education.
I don’t want to do slave work for the rest of my life.
But I no longer have the opportunity to do a school while working.

I want to get a degree, but I would have to high school graduate (4 years), then a +3 BA degree. Lots of time ... I can't do it while working. I hated my job, quit, and am currently unemployed.

I really just want to be reborn.
So I can start school again.
I don’t understand how long ago I could have ruined the whole thing so much.

So I can't evolve either. I'm hoarse. I'm just stagnating. I hate myself for not finishing school.

I want to be a kid again !!! And to be an excellent student, to graduate, and to work in a good place — and to find Satan again.

So I want to be reborn as soon as possible - if possible. That would make me happy. I have no strength in this life anymore...

Thank you for help.

(PS: please rate my English (A1-C2) because I am not a native speaker! I'm curious.)

This is some seriously low self-esteem. Your life has only just begun, especially if you know the truth in Satan.

Everything good comes with work. If you have any talents or hobbies, use those to your advantage and keep going. If you don’t want to go to school, don’t. We all have dreams but sometimes life takes us a different course. If you want to achieve your dreams you can.

There’s this anomaly going on right now where it seems like folks are having their Saturn return/mid-life crisis 5 years ahead of time. You’re the 4th 25-26 year old I’ve heard this week say that. If you have saturn in pieces, this can bring many self defeating attitudes and tendencies towards suicide.

Meditation alone is such a complete turn around for this, and it is WAY easier than you are allowing yourself to think.

If you’re not dedicated, dedicate. Open your soul. Take action to change your life. I promise you that if you are consistent on the path of Satan, you will wonder what the fuck you were thinking saying these types of things. You’re so young. Go look in the mirror and force yourself to point out 5 good things about yourself physically, then 5 good things about your personality.

Be sure to work on self destructive thought patterns, try to peer into your own mind to see what you really wish to achieve by saying these things out loud on a forum. Do you want this to be condoned? It won’t be. Anyone thinking Satan will help them die is in for the complete fucking opposite.

Perhaps you are also being attacked by the enemy through your very own weaknesses.

When I was very new and young, I had went to Satan and asked him directly who he was and what his story is. Shortly thereafter, before receiving an answer, a change of events happened and I almost committed suicide for the first time. I was very lost. Something got in the way of this happening and then just a couple of weeks later I found JoyofSatan and read through every bit on there. I was angry, and more motivated than ever. I was sure to stop the bullshit thoughts and with dedication and complete action on my end, just weeks later I was a completely different person. Not a single thought of suicide since. I opened my soul and I listened to the advice. I didn’t just read it and dilly dally around with it.

Turn this shit around. You know about JoyofSatan. You have everything you need right in front of you to change your life, the only person stopping you is literally just YOU.

Martin3 said:

I don’t want to die, but I don’t see any other option!

The problem is this:
I am already 25 years old, I have neglected school, I have a very low level of education.
I don’t want to do slave work for the rest of my life.
But I no longer have the opportunity to do a school while working.

I want to get a degree, but I would have to high school graduate (4 years), then a +3 BA degree. Lots of time ... I can't do it while working. I hated my job, quit, and am currently unemployed.

I really just want to be reborn.
So I can start school again.
I don’t understand how long ago I could have ruined the whole thing so much.

So I can't evolve either. I'm hoarse. I'm just stagnating. I hate myself for not finishing school.

I want to be a kid again !!! And to be an excellent student, to graduate, and to work in a good place — and to find Satan again.

So I want to be reborn as soon as possible - if possible. That would make me happy. I have no strength in this life anymore...

Thank you for help.

(PS: please rate my English (A1-C2) because I am not a native speaker! I'm curious.)

Click to expand...

I would say that your english skills are spot on.

Regarding your issue.. how do I start.
Do not commit suicide! This is in ANY WAY very very STUPID.
Okay I get what your problem is, you are stuck in a shit hole. So how do you want to get out of it? Suicide is NO OPTION!

If you die and reincarnate (man this can take up to 70yrs, do you really want to be stuck on the astral for decades?).
Once you are a ghost, you can not advance anymore. THIS IS STAGNATION!
And plus once you eventually do reincarnate, chances are that your life will be JUST LIKE YOUR LIFE IS RIGHT NOW! Poor education etc. PLUS chances are that you will not become a Satanist. -Game Over-

Our lives are getting heavily affected by our Natal Charts - Astrology.
Your natal chart shows your own energies, what you attract, how you behave, what ans who you are, abilities etc etc. And this will not change this much (except you do Satan‘s Planetary Squares)

So if you kill yourself, you will just suffer more, you waste time and next life it will probably repeat. You would be caught in a vicious cycle... Well you would be BUT YOU ARE A SATANIST! This is a Religion of WARRIORS!

Times are rough for many people right now, we are approaching the climax of our cause, this moment is crucial- WE NEED YOU AS A STRONG WARRIOR OF SATAN!

Taking your life is no option!


Instead work on yourself, get your life together!
Go back to school and work if it is what you need.
If you want to do something very specific, learn it on your own, you can find and learn everything about anything.
Clean your soul daily, build a strong AoP, advance, you can even do some Jupiter Squares (Good Luck, Higher Education, perfect Timing etc) this will also engrave in your soul, and next life you will take it to some degree with you.
Work for Satan, if you work for Satan he might even help you and you maybe do not even have to ask (well it shouldn’t be your motivation to work for Satan just so that he helps you but yeah), do Rtrs etc.

Use the Astrology Section of JoS and read your Natal chart. It will show your tendencies, your strengths and weaknesses.

If you are doing Drugs, quit them.
If you are lazy, well get your ass up.
If you just have had bad luck so far, become spiritually strong, and maintain a spiritual routine. (Saturn won’t kick your ass so hard if you meditate daily and keep your soul nice and clean and have a strong aop)

Life is full of development, whereas death is true stagnation.
Advance become strong, then you will be strong enough, to help yourself by spiritual means as well

Its easy to take the easiest option. However, what we don't realise is that the easy option is just a hard option in disguise.

From what I have read on the forums, your situation would be even worse if you were to go ahead with the last option. Your next life would bring far more suffering if you were to suicide than to die because of natural causes or death which wasn't caused intentionally by you.

Read these forums

https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=43591&p=190287&hilit=Suicide#p190287

https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=5&t=43504&p=190677&hilit=Suicide#p190677

I can't just say that everything will be alright. However, what I will say is to have hope. The fact that you neglected education or anything that has happened in the past isn't the problem here.

Its the fact that you are willing to give up and lack hope.

If you can't find a way out of the situation by yourself then its time to ask help from gods.
If you can summon a demon, go ahead.

If you can't then go to joyofsatan's website then to the 'Satan' section. After opening the link, you will find Sir Satan's sigil down there. Visualise it in your mind and ask for guidance.

Do know that he will only guide you if you guide yourself first. Like if you were to just sit down and say that 'Ah well...Sir Satan will guide me anyways, so there's no need to do anything' then you are horribly mistaken.

The gods can only help so far. You have to help yourself first.

In conclusion: Have hope. Have hope that even if you were dirt poor, you would find a way to be a wise and rich person.
With hope you can do anything.

Martin3 said:

I don’t want to die, but I don’t see any other option!

The problem is this:
I am already 25 years old, I have neglected school, I have a very low level of education.
I don’t want to do slave work for the rest of my life.
But I no longer have the opportunity to do a school while working.

I want to get a degree, but I would have to high school graduate (4 years), then a +3 BA degree. Lots of time ... I can't do it while working. I hated my job, quit, and am currently unemployed.

I really just want to be reborn.
So I can start school again.
I don’t understand how long ago I could have ruined the whole thing so much.

So I can't evolve either. I'm hoarse. I'm just stagnating. I hate myself for not finishing school.

I want to be a kid again !!! And to be an excellent student, to graduate, and to work in a good place — and to find Satan again.

So I want to be reborn as soon as possible - if possible. That would make me happy. I have no strength in this life anymore...

Thank you for help.

(PS: please rate my English (A1-C2) because I am not a native speaker! I'm curious.)

Click to expand...

Don't get too caught up in the troubles of the present, to let your existence revolve around them. It's not the end of the world. You can study something on your own and get a good job, like computers, art, music,etc. Plus with magic, you are guaranteed of getting a job.

You can't lose strength, Saturn will keep on whipping you mercilessly until you wake up and do something. If you kill yourself, I believe you will have more terrible karma in your next reincarnation, or still go through the same same experiences. Do you want to fail to finish school again?

Have faith in yourself. It's not the end. If you keep looking at your problems, you won't see the light elsewhere. If you can provide more details about your situation, we can suggest proper spiritual ways to make your situation get better.

In the current age where internet is a thing, you can easily get the knowledge and skills necessary to get a good job(mainly in technology department).
Have you considered learning programming? You can buy cheap courses on sites like udemy and get good books from sites like Amazon(or just get the books for free).

You can take 2 hours a day to learn programming and in a few months(it all depends on how much work you put in), you'll have the knowledge necessary to get an entry level job in the field. In this field as long as you show talent and do good work, nobody will care if you have a degree or not. Long gone is the era of the 80s and 90s where you wouldn't stand a chance of getting a job in this field without a CS degree.

Once you work for a few years in this field, you can figure something out with your employer and talk about you trying to finish your education. I might be biased towards programming, but I don't really see any other way you can finish your education while not having a crappy, menial job without an option to get flexible hours.

I also thought about army, but in my country they need you to have finished at least high school. Same goes for the police.In the past you could've joined both without any education(basically if you didn't know what you wanted to do, or you didn't have any education, you'd just join the army), but that's not the case anymore.

You also have magic at your disposal, you can make things work.

Hi, i don't know much about reincarnation and other things because I'm new

But what i know is you have to be stronger than what you already are, i had also a post here about killing myself i was told that i really need to persist and you should too

I'm not sure but i think suicide will just make more problems. Btw, I'll rate your English A2, English is also not my first language but i can completely understand your posts

Don’t kill yourself. You think you are stagnating now? A failure now? That life is miserable? It’s not as bad as killing yourself. Being reborn isn’t as easy as dying either. Especially when you kill yourself. Dying as it is is extremely unpleasant. And the point of Satanism is LIVING.

You want a restart but there really is no easy way out. What is stopping you from pursuing learning? Getting yourself as you are now into a better situation? Without learning that, you will end up in the same situation in your next life. Think of your advancement as climbing a ladder. You can go up, down, miss a step, fall a few steps. But you can keep climbing. Or even stay where you are. Go back down, even, if you so choose. When you kill yourself, you are jumping off the ladder right to the bottom. The ladder is gone. Choice is gone. You are throwing away everything you know about Satan and life away. Because you didn’t finish school? Me neither!!! But I got a good job because I did money workings and sun squares and focused on bettering myself physically and mentally. You have the capabilities to improve your life right now! There’s no better moment in the whole universe than NOW and when you kill yourself, you take that away.

We are also at a pivotal moment as Satanists. We are so close to taking our world back and we have been incarnated into this moment for a reason. Everyone would love to live carefree. The problem is, being carefree as a child in a world like this is just ignorance. It’s not actually freedom. And some children are born into awful households and forced to grow up far too soon. What would prevent you from reincarnating into a home like this? Your next life could be worse and it probably will be if you kill your self. If you look at your childhood fondly, remember it but appreciate it as a moment in your life. Not as a way to live.

As Satanists we have all the tools in the world to make our lives better. Dying is not one of them.

Brother, please don't do anything stupid.
I understand you, shit happens in life, but suicide is never an option, suicide only makes it worse, your next life will be many times worse than this if you commit suicide.

Know that the Father and the gods do not want your death, they want you to live , you are already with Satan, does not this make your life much more important than the lives of those who are without? Take all your strength and courage into a fist and continue to fight, for yourself, for our people, for Satan, now the main thing is to defeat the enemies, namely they wants the beautiful Satanists to give up and cut their lives, after we defeat the enemies and the golden age of Satan comes, you will not have to suffer and be a slave anymore.

Know that Father Satan is always with you, he loves you, he is always ready to help you, just listen to him.

Also please read this https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=41631&hilit=Suicide+karma

Martin3 said:

...

Click to expand...

The time spent fixing this situation in your current life will be drastically less than the time spent waiting to reincarnate then growing up all over again. There is no sense in beating yourself up over past mistakes, especially those made before you could advance your soul. Look towards what you can accomplish in the future, not what you did wrong in the past.

In our current world, work takes too much time out of the day, even good jobs that you study for. Even if you go back to school, your new job may still require you to act like a slave. My personal recommendation is to find a career path or field that does not require lots of time from you. You will gain much more materially (and in all aspects of your life) by devoting time to Satanism, not by working at a job. For example, where I live, government jobs do not require much time investment, so I am pursuing that to ensure I still have free time.

You will be a lifelong student and able to prove your studying capability all throughout your life, so don't let the degree hold you back. People will be able to tell you are intelligent by the way you speak and act. Like you say, currently it is hard to work and study because we live in a shitty world, but in the future this will change and perhaps then you can pursue academic achievements. I don't think it is worth the time to do so, now, because you need time to meditate daily as well.

Many people are stuck in their lives, in the sense that they don't have much free time between work, family, school. This is because Jews want us to be as slaves, without enough free time to better ourselves. You should not focus on making a perfect lifestyle or career out of this shitty world anyway, you just need to carve out some free time every day to advance and do RTR's. Don't worry about not having the perfect career now. We will all be in a much better place 10, 20, 30 years from now, and at that point we can all pursue our dreams.

Don't get depressed about our current world, because it has been made shit on purpose. We are in the process of changing it, so be hopeful of the future. If you kill yourself, you will end up with many more problems due to the huge time and energy loss that your soul will face. It is always better to have a body to work and advance with.

How do you know your new life will go just as you desire, and you won't make the same mistakes? I am not trying to make you feel bad, but that is the problem with reincarnation, that you are doomed to relearn everything. How can you be certain you will relearn everything at the proper pace such that you will become very educated? Even worse, what if you have trouble finding Satanism in your new life? Then you are completely screwed.

I know your are unhappy, but you need to disconnect your feelings from our current world, as it wasn't designed to make people happy. Use Satanism as your anchor for happiness and achievement, not a fucked up world that wants you to be a slave. Take care, man.

PS: Your english is good, I would rate it B+. I thought the formatting could be better: You should write in paragraph form, not a new line for every sentence.

A friend of mine told me that he was learning something about chinese medicine from a biomedical perspective (since that'd be easier because that program was more connected to his field of profession), which is on this website: coursera.org
This provides legal courses that could broaden your profession, and they do not need to take a lot of time. Im currently doing one that says it only takes 8 hours to complete. Of course you wouldn't be a pro as in you'd have the same experience as with taking a full year course, but you can get somewhere.
Also if you are into singing, there are courses for singing/recording/guitar playing also promoted by teachers of these skills on youtube.
Use the internet to your advantage, and search.

You also have skillshare that you can look at. Heard about it quite some time ago, but I've never used it myself.

You could also read a book on a topic. If it interests you, it might be possible to get a job in that field, IF you do not necessarily have the proper paper for it, in example, one can become a teacher here, for in example for the physics class at high school grade, simply because they lack teachers in that field too. But you must show that you are very interested and do posess the skills to teach that level.

Another thing which I want to point out, that it is possible to give yourself up for online courses/studies, even on entry level of college, if you know where to look.
Here you have in example, Loi, Civas ... there was another which promoted themselves on tv, but I can't remember which one that was.

Also follow workshops and put them on your resume. They might not actually be something you get a diplom for, but anything that shows that you have practical experience is a +.
Here where Im from, we have something called a 'volksuniversiteit' (folk university) which gives short courses. But actual universities often also host workshops, like a workshop ballet on intermediate level or advanced level. Even if you're not related to the university you should be able to sign up for those, and follow those.
I came across the flyers when I was visiting the botanical gardens that were linked to these universities.

It is important to look at courses targeted to adults. They are NOT full time, they DO require you to study by yourself, make a schedule by yourself and to study at home. Some do have days where you meet as an entire class.

As for studying languages, it is helpful to know a second language, even though English is the main language now. To get started, duolingo is a website where you can learn different languages for FREE. You do not need to pay anything. Just practice regurlarly.

I name these things, but you really need to look for the options that apply to your location.

Over here we also have something called an 'in between year program' where you do have to pay for a course of this but you can try out all kinds of jobs or courses to find out what actually suits you.
You probably won't be able to make use of this, but Im mentioning this as something you could probably take a look at.

A friend of mine told me that he was learning something about chinese medicine from a biomedical perspective (since that'd be easier because that program was more connected to his field of profession), which is on this website: coursera.org
This provides legal courses that could broaden your profession, and they do not need to take a lot of time. Im currently doing one that says it only takes 8 hours to complete. Of course you wouldn't be a pro as in you'd have the same experience as with taking a full year course, but you can get somewhere.
Also if you are into singing, there are courses for singing/recording/guitar playing also promoted by teachers of these skills on youtube.
Use the internet to your advantage, and search.

You also have skillshare that you can look at. Heard about it quite some time ago, but I've never used it myself.

You could also read a book on a topic. If it interests you, it might be possible to get a job in that field, IF you do not necessarily have the proper paper for it, in example, one can become a teacher here, for in example for the physics class at high school grade, simply because they lack teachers in that field too. But you must show that you are very interested and do posess the skills to teach that level.

Another thing which I want to point out, that it is possible to give yourself up for online courses/studies, even on entry level of college, if you know where to look.
Here you have in example, Loi, Civas ... there was another which promoted themselves on tv, but I can't remember which one that was.

Also follow workshops and put them on your resume. They might not actually be something you get a diplom for, but anything that shows that you have practical experience is a +.
Here where Im from, we have something called a 'volksuniversiteit' (folk university) which gives short courses. But actual universities often also host workshops, like a workshop ballet on intermediate level or advanced level. Even if you're not related to the university you should be able to sign up for those, and follow those.
I came across the flyers when I was visiting the botanical gardens that were linked to these universities.

It is important to look at courses targeted to adults. They are NOT full time, they DO require you to study by yourself, make a schedule by yourself and to study at home. Some do have days where you meet as an entire class.

As for studying languages, it is helpful to know a second language, even though English is the main language now. To get started, duolingo is a website where you can learn different languages for FREE. You do not need to pay anything. Just practice regurlarly.

I name these things, but you really need to look for the options that apply to your location.

Over here we also have something called an 'in between year program' where you do have to pay for a course of this but you can try out all kinds of jobs or courses to find out what actually suits you.
You probably won't be able to make use of this, but Im mentioning this as something you could probably take a look at.

Click to expand...

I also wanted to add, that if you need a place to work as an intern, there might be a general list of places that are legally allowed to take interns, might you need the work experience for a career change.

Thank you for your help.

I don’t know what I should do and how my future will develop. I have no idea.

I looked very closely at these online courses.

Unfortunately, they are not worth much, they do not give a real qualification. At least where I live, in a small European country, I wouldn’t do anything with it here, here is tied to a high school diploma or a degree.

I found only one course worthwhile: TEFL / TESOL training.
No graduation is required, it can be done online. But minimum C1 English knowledge.

I still don't know what to do. I always chew on how far behind I am. At this age, someone else already has a degree, a good job, a beautiful girlfriend, and slowly a family too! Nothing for me.

Martin3 said:

I don’t want to die, but I don’t see any other option!

The problem is this:
I am already 25 years old, I have neglected school, I have a very low level of education.
I don’t want to do slave work for the rest of my life.
But I no longer have the opportunity to do a school while working.

I want to get a degree, but I would have to high school graduate (4 years), then a +3 BA degree. Lots of time ... I can't do it while working. I hated my job, quit, and am currently unemployed.

I really just want to be reborn.
So I can start school again.
I don’t understand how long ago I could have ruined the whole thing so much.

So I can't evolve either. I'm hoarse. I'm just stagnating. I hate myself for not finishing school.

I want to be a kid again !!! And to be an excellent student, to graduate, and to work in a good place — and to find Satan again.

So I want to be reborn as soon as possible - if possible. That would make me happy. I have no strength in this life anymore...

Thank you for help.

(PS: please rate my English (A1-C2) because I am not a native speaker! I'm curious.)

Click to expand...

Greetings. First, there is no excuse about "not being able to work and study at the same time". I know several people who work and study at the same time, their lives are more rushed, but they succeed. Second, if you commit suicide, the problems of your present life will go to the next reincarnation, I read this somewhere in JOS. Third, I see several signs of laziness in this post of yours. Seven years to finish your studies. Do you want a magic pill to get super smart? LOL. Fourth, I also know some (few) people who got along well in life without finishing high school and without going to college. For that there are courses that can be finished in 1 year or less.
I hope I helped, let go of the laziness!

Martin3 said:

I looked very closely at these online courses.

Unfortunately, they are not worth much, they do not give a real qualification. At least where I live, in a small European country, I wouldn’t do anything with it here, here is tied to a high school diploma or a degree.

I found only one course worthwhile: TEFL / TESOL training.
No graduation is required, it can be done online. But minimum C1 English knowledge.

I still don't know what to do. I always chew on how far behind I am. At this age, someone else already has a degree, a good job, a beautiful girlfriend, and slowly a family too! Nothing for me.

Click to expand...

Make up for the lost years, there's literally people who do this kind of things when they're 40 years old.
There must be somekind of program that makes you finish highschool in less years(?) or that makes you study in the evening after work.
Yours are just excuses, you're lazy, you're still young as fuck you can do anything.

Martin3 said:

Thank you for your help.

I don’t know what I should do and how my future will develop. I have no idea.

Click to expand...

Let it develop and think about it i mean even if you don't do a lot in the material for some reason you still have time to work on the spiritual and advance this isnt a reson to die. In 10 to 20 years you may have an easy way to learn what you want to do and get a job in it as things will change for the better. Also why not learn something useful on your own like some said. To be honest i will explain something i found out in past life regression. Here is why I would never consider suicide (unless something rare like the end of ww2 or some situation where you absolutely know it will be torture or worse if the enemy gets you it would be far less bad karma then letting yourself go through all those traumas)

Ok so you don't change as a person in each life you are still the core of who you are. Older souls especially more so maintain their personality. Reincarnation is more a continuation of life than a new beginning. Energies and things stored in your soul can play out again if allowed too and energy may push towards repeating some things or problems especially if they made a big impact on you. Which anything that would cause someone to commit suicide would. Ok so some of the things I remembered from my past life ended up repeating. I made similar mistakes with the wrong friends last time for awhile. This life would have ended up a repeat of the last one and I didn't even realize that till recent down to and including some of the same people and places. But doing mediation allowed me to go on a different path this time. Most likely this may happen again. You will end up struggling in school or failing and repeating the same mistake unless you break the karma and choose a differnt path. I was suprised at how many issues I found were similar down to i think being raised in an xtian home etc and the fact that one of the places I was for awhile at least in my past life is only about 15 miles away from me now.

So yeah your going to end up repeating most stuff unless you choose a different path and rid yourself of bad karma. It may take many workings and I am still working on it now. Suicide is simply an invite to have it happen again and while next time there is no chance it will be hard to find Satan unless you were to immediately be reincarnated as things are quickly falling with the enemy you still may have the same issues.

Unfortunately, you are right!

I'm very, very lazy. I am the laziest man in the world.
Besides that, I'm maniac depression. Unfortunately, this makes the situation very difficult.

I thought about committing suicide long before. And I realized that I have the freedom to commit suicide whenever I want, I continue to live even though I know life is unbearable. If you are thinking about suicide, you are free to do it and you can do it at any time, the reason you exaggerate suicide so much is because you over-socialize yourself. No human has ever found a solution to suicide, animals cannot commit suicide, it's just our freedom. If you are thinking about committing suicide, do it when you really can't stand it. I am not an optimist and I hate death as much as I hate life, this thought protected me from suicide. Your problem seems so simple and absurd, your problem is not about existentialism or reaction to the modern world. By the way, working in a low-wage job is slavery, but in the same way working in a high-wage job is slavery, you have no autonomy, the important thing is obedience. Your reasons for suicide are very stupid, inferiority complex.

Aquarius said:

Martin3 said:

I looked very closely at these online courses.

Unfortunately, they are not worth much, they do not give a real qualification. At least where I live, in a small European country, I wouldn’t do anything with it here, here is tied to a high school diploma or a degree.

I found only one course worthwhile: TEFL / TESOL training.
No graduation is required, it can be done online. But minimum C1 English knowledge.

I still don't know what to do. I always chew on how far behind I am. At this age, someone else already has a degree, a good job, a beautiful girlfriend, and slowly a family too! Nothing for me.

Click to expand...

Make up for the lost years, there's literally people who do this kind of things when they're 40 years old.
There must be somekind of program that makes you finish highschool in less years(?) or that makes you study in the evening after work.
Yours are just excuses, you're lazy, you're still young as fuck you can do anything.

Click to expand...

I'd suggest that you'd get a reading to clarify what would be suitable careers for you.

Also I forgot to mention, college/university can also be done in 'deeltijd' programs which is basicly you go to school for 2-3 days a week, and you can work and do other stuff the other days. This means that your education will be delayed by a year or so, however, this might be more suitable to your situation.

And as Aquarius said, and Ill say in these words: YOU ARE RESPONSIBLE.
ONLY YOU CAN MAKE YOUR FUTURE.

I have no idea where you're from, so I do not know what is available in your area. Maybe you should try to find a place that more or less specializes in helping young people that are somehow 'stuck' like a youth center of some sorts (Im just saying something).

Martin3 said:

I looked very closely at these online courses.

Unfortunately, they are not worth much, they do not give a real qualification. At least where I live, in a small European country, I wouldn’t do anything with it here, here is tied to a high school diploma or a degree.

I found only one course worthwhile: TEFL / TESOL training.
No graduation is required, it can be done online. But minimum C1 English knowledge.

I still don't know what to do. I always chew on how far behind I am. At this age, someone else already has a degree, a good job, a beautiful girlfriend, and slowly a family too! Nothing for me.

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Don't be so negative. There is always something one can do for income. What skills or talents do you have?

Martin3 said:

Unfortunately, you are right!

I'm very, very lazy. I am the laziest man in the world.
Besides that, I'm maniac depression. Unfortunately, this makes the situation very difficult.

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This is your biggest problem brother. If you can get over this, you will be a great step ahead in life overall.

I think my negative thinking is caused by biporal disorder.
Unfortunately, this is incurable. Does anyone know anything about this?

I watched a documentary entitled "Boy Interrupted (2009)"

I am the same, with so much difference that I have never received any treatment.

In principle, there is no cure. I have a strong mental disorder.
I don't feel normal.

Martin3 said:

I think my negative thinking is caused by biporal disorder.
Unfortunately, this is incurable. Does anyone know anything about this?

I watched a documentary entitled "Boy Interrupted (2009)"

I am the same, with so much difference that I have never received any treatment.

In principle, there is no cure. I have a strong mental disorder.
I don't feel normal.

Click to expand...

Those things mostly are not real. Just be yourself and think positively about it. Love who you are and ignore the haters.

Martin3 said:

I looked very closely at these online courses.

Unfortunately, they are not worth much, they do not give a real qualification. At least where I live, in a small European country, I wouldn’t do anything with it here, here is tied to a high school diploma or a degree.

I found only one course worthwhile: TEFL / TESOL training.
No graduation is required, it can be done online. But minimum C1 English knowledge.

I still don't know what to do. I always chew on how far behind I am. At this age, someone else already has a degree, a good job, a beautiful girlfriend, and slowly a family too! Nothing for me.

Click to expand...

martin please dont, i love you man maybe im not a beatiful girlfriend but i can be a handsome supportive boyfriend you need.

Hi there,

I just want to say you have found Satan, SS, JoS/the forum, and the truth. This discovery is meaningful. There is no coincidence. You found it, or maybe your demon lead you here. Maybe this is your ticket to a well lived life.

You don't have to have a degree or be something in order to feel like life is good. Look, my mother country is poor yet the people survive and thrive. How? I believe it is staying productive and always remembering the gods. Though they are economically poor, they are spiritually rich. They MAKE life. Instead of waiting for happiness, they BECOME happiness, for it is a state of mind before it becomes a state of being.

Look at your self in the mirror or any reflection. See yourself as Satan's warrior and FEEL it. You will forever be your own victim if you keep telling yourself you're not worth it, this life isn`t worth it. You are, in a sense, ungrateful in another aspect. Appreciate the fact that you are even born; you're given a chance to excel yourself.

I suggest you to work on your self esteem. As others suggested, have a look and study your own chart. Look to the weaknesses and balance the planets functioning too strong.

Let's say you have a stellium in the 12th and in an air sign. Let's add that there isn't enough cardinal energy. By this example, you may be lacking inertia and live in your mind too much. To benefit from packed 12th house in air? Some people like to write.

And you have already admitted to laziness. You can CHOOSE to "de-lazy" yourself. Don't say negative things first like "ugh! But I am lazy and have bipolar". I know nurses with bipolar and are great nurses. So quit the BS already.

Fix your mind by fixing how you even talk to yourself and about yourself. As a SS, you are equipped with higher knowledge. If you want to advance, let yourself. Stop being your own worse enemy. You are the only person putting a hindrance on yourself.