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Wanting to get Closer to Satan and my Guardian and leave past mistakes behind

Ignisalas

New member
Joined
Nov 4, 2017
Messages
288
I've had alot of doubts about myself on this path. I like the idea of empowering myself with occult teachings and stuff, but I've always had a worry that I might be jewish but Im not sure.
I did the dedication and everything and nothing bad happened to me, also Ive done the RTRs and had no bad effects. I've been feeling really down and out about myself lately and I just want to get some clear signs that Satan is still in my life but im not sure were to look.
i've tried talking with Satan and my guadian but I can never seem to get a good response or anything. It really makes me feel alone sometimes and causes worry in me.

Its the worst feeling ever to feel the way I do sometimes and I cant seem to shake it off and keep going. Its caused me to just stop meditating in the past because I feel like im just alone, abandoned and unwelcome in Satanism, and that causes me to be afraid and worry that what if im jewish and its just the worst feeling.

I try to keep calm and just tell myself that its just a psychic attack and i'll be fine. I've noticed that whenever I try to meditate I always get horrible thoughts about Satan, and I also get down and feeling depressed and sad after I meditate, and it causes me to get distracted from the meditations. I wish I could find a way to safely communicate to Satan and my guardian without any worries that enemies will try to interfere.
The sad and depressing feeling also happens shortly after I attempted to communicate with them sometimes. Sometimes I guess its just me and I let my thoughts control my emotions and feelings and it causes alot of these bad thoughts.
I'd like to get closer to Satan and my guardian and feel happy and confident while on this path. People that can casually speak with them and see them will never understand how I feel sometimes its the worst.
 
Fire said:
I've had alot of doubts about myself on this path. I like the idea of empowering myself with occult teachings and stuff, but I've always had a worry that I might be jewish but Im not sure.
I did the dedication and everything and nothing bad happened to me, also Ive done the RTRs and had no bad effects. I've been feeling really down and out about myself lately and I just want to get some clear signs that Satan is still in my life but im not sure were to look.
i've tried talking with Satan and my guadian but I can never seem to get a good response or anything. It really makes me feel alone sometimes and causes worry in me.

Its the worst feeling ever to feel the way I do sometimes and I cant seem to shake it off and keep going. Its caused me to just stop meditating in the past because I feel like im just alone, abandoned and unwelcome in Satanism, and that causes me to be afraid and worry that what if im jewish and its just the worst feeling.

I try to keep calm and just tell myself that its just a psychic attack and i'll be fine. I've noticed that whenever I try to meditate I always get horrible thoughts about Satan, and I also get down and feeling depressed and sad after I meditate, and it causes me to get distracted from the meditations. I wish I could find a way to safely communicate to Satan and my guardian without any worries that enemies will try to interfere.
The sad and depressing feeling also happens shortly after I attempted to communicate with them sometimes. Sometimes I guess its just me and I let my thoughts control my emotions and feelings and it causes alot of these bad thoughts.
I'd like to get closer to Satan and my guardian and feel happy and confident while on this path. People that can casually speak with them and see them will never understand how I feel sometimes its the worst.


When I was new and asked Satan for a sign I started seeing a lot... and I mean a LOT of 666s. I didn't pay much attention to it until I looked back later and realized that I just had to look a bit closer so keep an eye out. That doesnt mean try to MAKE signs yourself mentally, though so be careful of it. ( example, seeing a common bird in your area once and going iTS A SigN )


If you've made it this far, I am fairly sure you aren't a jew. And while I know it isnt 100% solid all the time you dont have the feeling they give off either, I wouldnt worry about it. As far as what happens to you while meditating though you should probablt do some suryae every few days for like idk a week or two. It should help with attacks because a lot of vulnerabilities are caused by a dirty soul so keep on it. Another thing, when it happens, ask yourself "Would I think this?" Or "Is this logical?".

I used to have problems with getting astrally trolled so to say by the enemy in the past ( trying to pretend to be demons and shit ) and I've found they will practically never respond to the question "Are you of Satan?". So you can try that, but generally, when youre new Satan isnt gonna be talking directly to you. Always and I mean always be suspicious, you are better off being overly cautious then not.

As for your GD and trying to figure out who they are welll im ngl... Mine made it pretty fucking obvious to me after asking Satan but due to a combination of me shrugging off things as coincidences and getting astrally trolled I didn't realize til recently. Another reason to be cautious. How your GD reaches out to you will vary from GD to GD though. Generally the best advice I can give you right now is be patient and aware.

I've been where ya are, its a bad feeling but Satan looks out for his own. Don't worry. I can promise you haven't been abandoned or anything. Keep at your meditations and soul cleaning and you'll start to feel a heck ton better. I got really depressed when I was newer but I'm past it now.

Also, I find meditating on Satan's sigil helps when you're being attacked. It almost always seems to stop when I do.

If it gets out of your control dont be afraid to ask for help.

Generally, keep up with cleaning, void meditation and AoP no matter what. I rarely get attacked anymore now and its not like I've been around long either, its just a hassle for them to attack someone with a decent AoP so they go for newer people who are more vulnerable to attempt to steer them away.


Good luck, brother / sister. Take care.
 
Sometimes we felt bad about everything in our life but that shouldn’t make you depressed. I lived bad things too broke with my gf exp. But ı Learnt my lessons about that bad things.you must do it whenever and whatever happens against you,you must be try to learn things(take lessons)(see your mistakes) and not do that mistakes again.
Make your meditation with no excuses
Satan and lord/ladies always hear us just sometimes being patient is more instructive than good times.”Sabredin! Hüzünsüz bir neşe ve darlıksız bir bolluk olmaz.”(be patient! There is no abundance gain without sadness and pain)
If you want advice in this case.I am offering you make a ritual for Satan and wish a succubus/incubus for a while
they will keep away you from aloneness and help about spiritual growth
And I didn’t understand completely your Jew thing
English is not my first language and I am not good at it I hope You can understand
 
Fire said:
I've had alot of doubts about myself on this path. I like the idea of empowering myself with occult teachings and stuff, but I've always had a worry that I might be jewish but Im not sure.
I did the dedication and everything and nothing bad happened to me, also Ive done the RTRs and had no bad effects. I've been feeling really down and out about myself lately and I just want to get some clear signs that Satan is still in my life but im not sure were to look.
i've tried talking with Satan and my guadian but I can never seem to get a good response or anything. It really makes me feel alone sometimes and causes worry in me.

Its the worst feeling ever to feel the way I do sometimes and I cant seem to shake it off and keep going. Its caused me to just stop meditating in the past because I feel like im just alone, abandoned and unwelcome in Satanism, and that causes me to be afraid and worry that what if im jewish and its just the worst feeling.

I try to keep calm and just tell myself that its just a psychic attack and i'll be fine. I've noticed that whenever I try to meditate I always get horrible thoughts about Satan, and I also get down and feeling depressed and sad after I meditate, and it causes me to get distracted from the meditations. I wish I could find a way to safely communicate to Satan and my guardian without any worries that enemies will try to interfere.
The sad and depressing feeling also happens shortly after I attempted to communicate with them sometimes. Sometimes I guess its just me and I let my thoughts control my emotions and feelings and it causes alot of these bad thoughts.
I'd like to get closer to Satan and my guardian and feel happy and confident while on this path. People that can casually speak with them and see them will never understand how I feel sometimes its the worst.

You should void meditate more it allows you to control your thoughts better and realize when your about to be influenced by thought forms/ greys.

Just so ya know your definitely not Jewish if you’ve done the RTR and nothing bad happened.

If your wanting better communication then meditate more on your psychic centers for clairaudience more, I had to do it for a few months but it’s worth it. If the problem persists do a working with Ansuz and sowilo for improving psychic communication with the gods.

Also you may have blockages in your chakras as well as a dirty aura make sure to do returning curses 1 it helps with rouge thoughts. This should be a priority along with void meditation.

I understand it’s difficult sometimes when you don’t really know. What you should be thinking is when I push through this I’ll be so much stronger when you truly apply yourself with a sound mind, growth is surely around the corner.

I was similar (Kinda). I wrecked my psyche with drugs and was bombarded by enemy thoughtforms and greys placing thoughts and images in my mind which is why I say the absolute best thing you can do with these influences is to consistently void meditate as much as you can.

Good luck.
Have a good day.
 
Fire said:
Are you doing cleaning and protection meditations? Those are really important
If it can console you, i'm pretty sure that i'm under attacks rn, since i keep seeing enemy numbers (especially 22) and I'm in a situation where I can't meditate for at least 2 weeks except very basic stuff that I can do just with my mind

Despite everything, i still feel loved because I know that is will end and a good Gentile is always welcome in Spiritual Satanism, even if he has a very long path in front of him and a lot of defects, but you gotta keep up the good work

And btw, remember that communicating with our Gods is very difficult, and it usually happens through "strange" "unusual" events or "coincidences" which are ALWAYS positive and never otherwise
 
It's never too late to start now even if you really didnt do a lot for years (not saying this with you just giving an example) whatever you did in the past is the past it cant be changed now but what you can do is make your present and future better.

To be honest if your not spiritually open you may not feel or sense the Gods right away even if they are right there. Bael who is one of the most powerful Gods next to Satan visited me last year being directly there and I could not hear him even then but i could feel his presence very strongly this is what i mean. If you cant fully sense energy you may not even know the Gods are there when they are.


So dont take not feeling them or getting a response personally. Look back on your life are there times when something really could have happened bad but it didnt or little things that are positive in your life. This very well may be the Gods. You may not see hear and fully experience something right away.

So dont let that get you down. Also do you feel instinctively disgusted by a lot of stuff the Jews do and feel really scared or panicked at the thought you are a Jew. If so your not.

The enemy may even inspire someone to tell you you look like one that is what happened with me and I freaked out and panicked for almost a year after that almost thought of ending it etc. I now know I am not but you are not either if you get that bad feeling about it a Jew would love learning they are one and would not be scared at the thought of not having a relationship with father.

If this is the worst feeling ever like what you said then your not one so put it out of your head. This is a very common enemy attack especially since many of us dont know our family history or even were adopted with closed adoptions like me.

What you can do is above all try to do the rtr each day a few times and do the race awakening till the fifth. Do a few extra times if you haven't been doing it.

Start doing at least some meditations every day even if you want to do it do the 40 day program.

You will feel the presence of your guardian and Satan when the time is right till then dont worry too much and just keep doing what we do and advancing as well.

Good Luck
 
It really comes down to consistency. Usually you only have these doubts and loneliness when you’re undeveloped and not being consistent with the rtrs and daily practices. The meditations on the jos work. The gods are real and want to be in our lives to guide us and help us grow. The more you meditate and open your soul, the easier it will be to feel that connection.

So you MUST find a way to meditate every single day and build an empowering routine. The gods will reveal themselves, and trust me, they are there and you are not alone. Everyone who can ‘causally communicate’ as you say, didn’t start that way. They got there from consistent practice. You can get there too.
 
Fire said:

This is not an easy mindset to step out of once you're in it, it takes realization and recognition of truth to understand that you really aren't alone and that the gods are always there when you need them most, but this is not always made to be very obvious to those who don't look closely enough. When you grow close to Satan in bond and attachment, any feelings of distance and separation can certainly make you feel lonely.

Also first of all the fact that you desire to be close to Satan on such a soul-personal level at all is virtually a 100% guarantee that you are not a jew, this is not even including that you've done the dedication ritual, multiple RTRs, have been using our Satanic meditations and energies and haven't been negatively impacted by it at all. ALL forms of Satanic energies, especially the RTR which legitimately reverses the 'genetic structure' of a jews very soul, are deadly to them, a jew doing the RTRs would be driven to insanity in a short time frame. Also another telling factor is after all of the above you are also worried about being a jew which is another telling sign because this is of course a typical enemy attack.

I can say with utmost heartfelt certainty without a single doubt in my mind, you are not a jew. Satan and our gods watch and know everything that goes on with our lives, they know what we need when we need it and should we truly need it and are unable or don't know how to attain it for ourselves, then this is where they step in. In any event the gods remind you of their presence in your life in the most subtlest of ways, these are not usually going to be grand and blatantly obvious signs, you must be open to them.

For instance, I myself had felt lonely at one point in lack of interaction with the gods, I had been dealing with a harsh day and felt a little more weight on my shoulders than I was comfortable with in enduring and felt abandoned in the suffering, cut off and alone. I was in the midst of doing one of my meditations and felt the urge to look at the word "gods" within the quote under the logo on our website's front page. I couldn't stop looking at it as if something was pulling my gaze to it, the urge was strongly there.

That was when I felt their energy on the astral and their presence so close and so strongly once I tuned into the source. Something like this is not obvious as a sign to someone who isn't open enough yet, but the gods often direct us through urges in wanting to do something, like looking at a painting of theirs or thinking about a quote over and over again or remember something about them or Satan. Turning my attention to the word "gods" was just a way of saying, yeah, they're there, they're as present as the words on this page, they exist, they're here and they are watching over you and are close by.

Satan and our gods may be far from us on the physical plane, but the astral realm has no boundaries, and with but a thought, they might as well be standing right next to you.

As for your feelings of sadness and doubt after trying to communicate, sounds like a thought form you unintentionally built up. Don't dwell on these depressions and sadness, we give power to whatever we strongly put our attention to, essentially programming with emotions and focus to fuel them as a kind of psychic thought-form that blinds and affects you negatively. The gods are very present, they protect you every single day and guide you to many answers without you even being aware that it was them that lead you to such in the first place.

For these negative feelings of which you've created a bit of a binding association, you can use Ansuz on the associated attachments to free yourself from the psychic trap of depression, you can visualize the negative association breaking up and being destroyed on the astral so that you no longer feel depression or sadness/doubt when trying to communicate with the gods. Their responses for the most part are not always immediate or upon request, and chances are they are responding many times to you even but you either are unable to see them or are missing the signs entirely. I've had signs I didn't know were signs until I remembered them several months later and how 'convenient' they were and what prompted them at the time.

Take note of things you see or think about a lot, notice when you feel urged to do something that is conveniently related to our gods or your concerns. Also dreams, especially vivid ones and ones that feel 'real', pay attention to those as well, write them down in as much detail as you can as soon as you wake up so you don't forget them and can look at and examine them more thoroughly.

Our gods are ever present, and it is also an entire possibility as well they may not even be giving signs in the way you'd expect or hope for because they know you aren't going to see them for whatever reasons such as spiritual bindings, thought patterns, blockages in intuition, or you're just not able in your powers to see it yet. Advancing helps with communication, so don't feel demotivated to advance because you struggle to communicate with the gods, feel motivated to advance so that you can. They find many ways to try and communicate with you regardless, but you must be open and aware.

It's not always blatantly obvious but they are there. If they weren't there then I assure you, the troubles you think are bad that you're dealing with now in regards to loneliness and depression? You think that's an enemy attack? If the gods weren't present in your protection right now, I assure you the enemy would be having a field day on you like you would not believe, nobody really knows how easy we actually have it every day with our gods' protection, because I've experienced the full and relentless assaults of the enemy when I didn't have their protection starting out because I didn't do the dedication ritual and was relentless for 3 whole years without it. I guarantee you... it is so unbelievably far worse than depression and loneliness.

The gods are keeping you safe every day, they are there. Remember this.
 
I've seen 666 a bunch of times too here lately. It appears out of nowhere and it seems like it happens shortly after I attempt to talk with Satan or any of the gods. I guess I could take that as a sign or something. There was a phone call that a family member got and there was 666 in the number. I remember I was in my kitchen and the phone was laying on a table and started ringing and the number showed up as I looked over at it.
Earlier that day I was feeling pretty bad about stuff and having bad thoughts. I usually try to think of Satan and hope those thoughts go away. Im guessing that was some type of sign from Satan. I didnt recognize the phone number and they were calling from a different state than me, so it was weird. Also I was on facebook, and I rarely get on facebook anymore because its owned and ran by jews, and I saw a post that had 666 comments, and that really stuck out to me for some reason.
I guess that most of the bad thoughts I have are just enemy entities trying to influence my thoughts and feelings. I'll do my best to not let them get to me anymore. Thank you guys for the support.
 
Fire said:
I've seen 666 a bunch of times too here lately. It appears out of nowhere and it seems like it happens shortly after I attempt to talk with Satan or any of the gods. I guess I could take that as a sign or something. There was a phone call that a family member got and there was 666 in the number. I remember I was in my kitchen and the phone was laying on a table and started ringing and the number showed up as I looked over at it.
Earlier that day I was feeling pretty bad about stuff and having bad thoughts. I usually try to think of Satan and hope those thoughts go away. Im guessing that was some type of sign from Satan. I didnt recognize the phone number and they were calling from a different state than me, so it was weird. Also I was on facebook, and I rarely get on facebook anymore because its owned and ran by jews, and I saw a post that had 666 comments, and that really stuck out to me for some reason.
I guess that most of the bad thoughts I have are just enemy entities trying to influence my thoughts and feelings. I'll do my best to not let them get to me anymore. Thank you guys for the support.

I saw 666 recently too I thought that was interesting. It was on a steak I bought at the store it said I saved 6.66 on it. I saw that number sometimes other places as well. That was just the most recent.

I take that as a sign that Satan actually is listening to me or that he is aware of what is going on or something.
 
Fire said:
I love everything about this thread and the responses to op. The amount of meditations and rituals I've done is enough to warrant my pure disgust when these doubts come about. Its just so improbable that my mood turns to sarcasm every time i hear it.

Do not stop trying even if it feels like progress seems to take a step backwards sometimes. I refuse to stop trying simply because I am well aware of the astral, but i also have a lot of patience for it. There are a lot of little things that if i listed them out would derail this topic, suffice to say i shouldn't have a reason to think like you do, but it always comes back and the more time passes the stronger i resist it.

You are not alone with these thoughts of doubts and depression, you must fight it!

P.S. I love your avatar.
 
slyscorpion said:
It's never too late to start now even if you really didnt do a lot for years (not saying this with you just giving an example) whatever you did in the past is the past it cant be changed now but what you can do is make your present and future better.

To be honest if your not spiritually open you may not feel or sense the Gods right away even if they are right there. Bael who is one of the most powerful Gods next to Satan visited me last year being directly there and I could not hear him even then but i could feel his presence very strongly this is what i mean. If you cant fully sense energy you may not even know the Gods are there when they are.


So dont take not feeling them or getting a response personally. Look back on your life are there times when something really could have happened bad but it didnt or little things that are positive in your life. This very well may be the Gods. You may not see hear and fully experience something right away.

So dont let that get you down. Also do you feel instinctively disgusted by a lot of stuff the Jews do and feel really scared or panicked at the thought you are a Jew. If so your not.

The enemy may even inspire someone to tell you you look like one that is what happened with me and I freaked out and panicked for almost a year after that almost thought of ending it etc. I now know I am not but you are not either if you get that bad feeling about it a Jew would love learning they are one and would not be scared at the thought of not having a relationship with father.

If this is the worst feeling ever like what you said then your not one so put it out of your head. This is a very common enemy attack especially since many of us dont know our family history or even were adopted with closed adoptions like me.

What you can do is above all try to do the rtr each day a few times and do the race awakening till the fifth. Do a few extra times if you haven't been doing it.

Start doing at least some meditations every day even if you want to do it do the 40 day program.

You will feel the presence of your guardian and Satan when the time is right till then dont worry too much and just keep doing what we do and advancing as well.

Good Luck

Thank you for the reply.
I've been a part of JoS for a few years now, but I was always worried about being jewish or not becuase I just cant feel or see the gods whenever I try to speak with them and it has made be really scared that Im being ignored or something. I know alot of the bad thoughts I have are mostly psychic attacks and they can really take over the mind sometimes and make me feel horrible and have horrible thoughts about Satan and myself. I've done the RTRs in the past and I have also been doing the final RTR but I never get any negative effects or anything from it, and also when I meditate and use mantras like Raum or Suryae, they make me feel really good afterwards.
I usually get bad thoughts come to my mind whenever I begin to meditate and try vibrating mantras, so I believe that's an obvious attack on me to make me stop meditating.
The feeling and worry of whether or not i'm jewish is horrible and hopefully some day I'll be able to speak with the gods clearly and not have to worry about that. Its a really scary feeling and its hard to get rid of, but thanks for you guy's support.
 
Fire said:
slyscorpion said:
It's never too late to start now even if you really didnt do a lot for years (not saying this with you just giving an example) whatever you did in the past is the past it cant be changed now but what you can do is make your present and future better.

To be honest if your not spiritually open you may not feel or sense the Gods right away even if they are right there. Bael who is one of the most powerful Gods next to Satan visited me last year being directly there and I could not hear him even then but i could feel his presence very strongly this is what i mean. If you cant fully sense energy you may not even know the Gods are there when they are.


So dont take not feeling them or getting a response personally. Look back on your life are there times when something really could have happened bad but it didnt or little things that are positive in your life. This very well may be the Gods. You may not see hear and fully experience something right away.

So dont let that get you down. Also do you feel instinctively disgusted by a lot of stuff the Jews do and feel really scared or panicked at the thought you are a Jew. If so your not.

The enemy may even inspire someone to tell you you look like one that is what happened with me and I freaked out and panicked for almost a year after that almost thought of ending it etc. I now know I am not but you are not either if you get that bad feeling about it a Jew would love learning they are one and would not be scared at the thought of not having a relationship with father.

If this is the worst feeling ever like what you said then your not one so put it out of your head. This is a very common enemy attack especially since many of us dont know our family history or even were adopted with closed adoptions like me.

What you can do is above all try to do the rtr each day a few times and do the race awakening till the fifth. Do a few extra times if you haven't been doing it.

Start doing at least some meditations every day even if you want to do it do the 40 day program.

You will feel the presence of your guardian and Satan when the time is right till then dont worry too much and just keep doing what we do and advancing as well.

Good Luck

Thank you for the reply.
I've been a part of JoS for a few years now, but I was always worried about being jewish or not becuase I just cant feel or see the gods whenever I try to speak with them and it has made be really scared that Im being ignored or something. I know alot of the bad thoughts I have are mostly psychic attacks and they can really take over the mind sometimes and make me feel horrible and have horrible thoughts about Satan and myself. I've done the RTRs in the past and I have also been doing the final RTR but I never get any negative effects or anything from it, and also when I meditate and use mantras like Raum or Suryae, they make me feel really good afterwards.
I usually get bad thoughts come to my mind whenever I begin to meditate and try vibrating mantras, so I believe that's an obvious attack on me to make me stop meditating.
The feeling and worry of whether or not i'm jewish is horrible and hopefully some day I'll be able to speak with the gods clearly and not have to worry about that. Its a really scary feeling and its hard to get rid of, but thanks for you guy's support.

Practice void meditation. You should try not to even let this be scary cause this is what the enemy wants. You maybe should work on your astral senses although it does take a long time. With me mainly cause I did all sorts of drugs that messed this up so I am reopening them at one point I was more open than now. Also do protection.

With our progress it seems to me the enemy will now attack at much shorter intervals but maybe be more intense in their attempted attacks. So ignore it when it does come and use the time they are not there to build up protection as much as possible. Then maybe next time when they come around they wont be able to bother you as much or at all. Its going to be monday. So the weekend is over the services they feed off of they should not bother you as much during the week use that time to build up protection. Oh and yeah do do the final rtr more on weekends.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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