You sound as if you are nowhere near ready for that yet. To do that properly, you need to empower and advance yourself properly first, and that can take time, somtimes a long time. It is important to not rush into things. If you want to fly a rocket to the Moon, you are not just going to go and drive up to a rocket launch site, are you? Surely love is one of the most important things to people, presumably also to yourself, but most people treat it like a gimmick and be all willy-nilly with it. There are no quick-fixes. We are to work properly for real, actual, proper fixes which are not just long-term, but are permanent/eternal. Don't be disheartened.