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How to find a way out of suffering

MichaelR2

New member
Joined
Jun 24, 2020
Messages
1
I'm not sure where to start here, not even sure I should be writing this here, I don't like to share my feelings, and thoughts or what's going on with life because either people will not get it, or don't care at all, and that's okay, everyone has their on problems to care for. I should probably seek professional advice from a psychiatrist, but again, I don't feel like sharing my thoughts. I come here as a last resort. I know you guys will understand what I'm going through, to some extent anyway...

When I found the JoS, 12 years ago, I found hope I could improve my life, what I was reading was almost too good to be true, I thought that just maybe I could bring some light to my life, maybe get rid of the void and cold dark emptiness inside me, if that makes sense...that's how I feel. I had the tools to fight the depression and social anxiety /fobia and everything related to those conditions... That has haunted me most of my life. And I'm pretty sure I was at some point connected with the Gods and the Cause, I was meditating and doing my job in the spiritual warfare, trying to live healthy and whatnot, but at some point I couldn't handle the pressure anymore, was it work, was it the struggles of life, my own weaknesses, finances. Whatever it was, It build up and I just gave up, I kind of stopped believing in the Cause, in the Gods, not that they had anything to do with it, but I couldn't believe in myself, so I gave up on everything... back where I started in my own emptiness. I kind of renounced Satan, which some years later I did regret for obvious reasons, I apologized, tried again, but life was never the same as before, was never able to get back to that level, I've lost count to the times I stopped meditating got back into the self destructive routine of weed, disguised as a relief for the hopelessness. Just to get slapped again by reality, try again, fail, repeat. This keeps going on and on and on, and I just want to break that cycle. I recently gave up trying, decided I would not care anymore, and I would bury my head in weed and pretend I'm just as dumb as anyone else, which I end up being anyway. Yet here I am again, trying for the 1000th time, to achieve some sort of progress. Some would say its a sign of strength to fall so many times yet keeping trying to get back up. I used too.... At this point, I don't think so. Been way too many times. I'm tired. Exhausted.

At this point, I'm pretty sure no one is listening, I'm not even sure what to believe in these days. I want to believe and I do know, from my own research and experience, that there is nothing in the world that makes more sense than Satanism, even if it looks like an Utopia,  a fantasy... Too good to be true. But I know, it's real, and I have connected in the past.

But nothing seems to last long. Except the suffering. One time in despair, I pulled the trigger, and the gun jammed, it didn't go through. I wasn't thinking about suicide I was just so mad and sad and in such despair that I got the gun and pointed to my head and pulled the trigger, though I am super confused about anything in life, I like to believe it was some sort of divine intervention. Not that I believe I am worthy of such intervention, not anymore, anyway... I'm pretty sure no one is listening anymore, and I don't blame them, really. It was always known that Satan only helps those who help him, and themselves. But that gun never jammed before. And never jammed again. So I don't know, maybe I'm not done in this world.

I know all about suicide, I wouldn't do it consciously, what I am afraid is one of these days, I'm gonna be so blinded by anguish, that I might do something wrong. I want to live, I want to experience life to the fullest, I wanna grow a family, and I want to break this endless cycle of destruction, I feel like crap smoking these chemicals to get some temporary relief of some sort, I know it hurts more than it helps. And I will pay that price one day. I know it's more than an addiction, what's troubling me, I feel there's something wrong deep within my soul, this depression, and anxiety is getting old, I can't sleep properly (without weed, sleep medicine, whatever) I can't make friends, haven't had a girlfriend in so many years, I could always feel something wrong within, and at some point, I think I was close to overcome it. When I was meditating. Long time ago. But right now, I just don't have the energy... I'm definitely not in a relaxing mood. I feel like I could explode any second now...if something would trigger it. A feeling, a memory, anything..

I know ultimately no one can do anything for me, it's my own mind that has to solve this.
I feel insane. But I don't want to expose myself to a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, waste a lot of money just to get some more chemicals in my brain that may or may not help. Or make my brain worse than it already is...

I am sorry for the long text, I am not trying to get your sympathy or your pity, just trying to put things into perspective. So you know where I'm coming from. I'm just.. One last time trying to figure it out, trying to find someone would be kind enough to share their experience , just point me in the right direction if there is one at all... Not that anyone has any obligation, to help the next guy... I always thought this was a path you go through alone.... But..

Is there anyone out there who has gone through the same? Should I see a doctor before it's too late?
Is it too late to be connected to Satan or have I done irreparable damage?

Is there a way out of this?
 
MichaelR2 said:
Is there a way out of this?

Stop doing drugs. Remember every time you do, a jew gets a hard one. Flush your drugs down the toilet!

Then try this:
"Opening this pathway is also very healing for drug addicts as it naturally induces extreme pleasure. The second vibration is the MAUM mantra. "
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Crown_Chakra.html

Don´t start at a void moon see ss calendar:
viewtopic.php?f=3&t=26302&p=166540&hilit=ss+calendar#p166540

Welcome back.
 
MichaelR2 said:
I'm not sure where to start here, not even sure I should be writing this here, I don't like to share my feelings, and thoughts or what's going on with life because either people will not get it, or don't care at all, and that's okay, everyone has their on problems to care for. I should probably seek professional advice from a psychiatrist, but again, I don't feel like sharing my thoughts. I come here as a last resort. I know you guys will understand what I'm going through, to some extent anyway...

When I found the JoS, 12 years ago, I found hope I could improve my life, what I was reading was almost too good to be true, I thought that just maybe I could bring some light to my life, maybe get rid of the void and cold dark emptiness inside me, if that makes sense...that's how I feel. I had the tools to fight the depression and social anxiety /fobia and everything related to those conditions... That has haunted me most of my life. And I'm pretty sure I was at some point connected with the Gods and the Cause, I was meditating and doing my job in the spiritual warfare, trying to live healthy and whatnot, but at some point I couldn't handle the pressure anymore, was it work, was it the struggles of life, my own weaknesses, finances. Whatever it was, It build up and I just gave up, I kind of stopped believing in the Cause, in the Gods, not that they had anything to do with it, but I couldn't believe in myself, so I gave up on everything... back where I started in my own emptiness. I kind of renounced Satan, which some years later I did regret for obvious reasons, I apologized, tried again, but life was never the same as before, was never able to get back to that level, I've lost count to the times I stopped meditating got back into the self destructive routine of weed, disguised as a relief for the hopelessness. Just to get slapped again by reality, try again, fail, repeat. This keeps going on and on and on, and I just want to break that cycle. I recently gave up trying, decided I would not care anymore, and I would bury my head in weed and pretend I'm just as dumb as anyone else, which I end up being anyway. Yet here I am again, trying for the 1000th time, to achieve some sort of progress. Some would say its a sign of strength to fall so many times yet keeping trying to get back up. I used too.... At this point, I don't think so. Been way too many times. I'm tired. Exhausted.

At this point, I'm pretty sure no one is listening, I'm not even sure what to believe in these days. I want to believe and I do know, from my own research and experience, that there is nothing in the world that makes more sense than Satanism, even if it looks like an Utopia,  a fantasy... Too good to be true. But I know, it's real, and I have connected in the past.

But nothing seems to last long. Except the suffering. One time in despair, I pulled the trigger, and the gun jammed, it didn't go through. I wasn't thinking about suicide I was just so mad and sad and in such despair that I got the gun and pointed to my head and pulled the trigger, though I am super confused about anything in life, I like to believe it was some sort of divine intervention. Not that I believe I am worthy of such intervention, not anymore, anyway... I'm pretty sure no one is listening anymore, and I don't blame them, really. It was always known that Satan only helps those who help him, and themselves. But that gun never jammed before. And never jammed again. So I don't know, maybe I'm not done in this world.

I know all about suicide, I wouldn't do it consciously, what I am afraid is one of these days, I'm gonna be so blinded by anguish, that I might do something wrong. I want to live, I want to experience life to the fullest, I wanna grow a family, and I want to break this endless cycle of destruction, I feel like crap smoking these chemicals to get some temporary relief of some sort, I know it hurts more than it helps. And I will pay that price one day. I know it's more than an addiction, what's troubling me, I feel there's something wrong deep within my soul, this depression, and anxiety is getting old, I can't sleep properly (without weed, sleep medicine, whatever) I can't make friends, haven't had a girlfriend in so many years, I could always feel something wrong within, and at some point, I think I was close to overcome it. When I was meditating. Long time ago. But right now, I just don't have the energy... I'm definitely not in a relaxing mood. I feel like I could explode any second now...if something would trigger it. A feeling, a memory, anything..

I know ultimately no one can do anything for me, it's my own mind that has to solve this.
I feel insane. But I don't want to expose myself to a psychologist, or a psychiatrist, waste a lot of money just to get some more chemicals in my brain that may or may not help. Or make my brain worse than it already is...

I am sorry for the long text, I am not trying to get your sympathy or your pity, just trying to put things into perspective. So you know where I'm coming from. I'm just.. One last time trying to figure it out, trying to find someone would be kind enough to share their experience , just point me in the right direction if there is one at all... Not that anyone has any obligation, to help the next guy... I always thought this was a path you go through alone.... But..

Is there anyone out there who has gone through the same? Should I see a doctor before it's too late?
Is it too late to be connected to Satan or have I done irreparable damage?

Is there a way out of this?


Its caused by diet, for example nicotine withdrawal may not even be real.

https://youtu.be/oofeFf6iy-0

It takes 3 days for Nicotine to be out of the body, 5 days Caffeine, 7 days alchohol, and 9 days Sugar.

In 9 days you should have no withdrawls symptoms to any of these.

If Diet is being taken care of.
 
I'm not sure if you've heard of this before or not but theres a therapy called EMDR ,which is supposed to be actually no bs for extreme anxiety. Along with this, A good Hypnotherapist will be able to remove all filth ASAP rather than some bs psychiatrist which is a scam thing anyway. If you hsuch extreme problems, getting good CBT,EMDR and proper Hypnotherapy healing must proceed advancement or fighting for the cause.This case of yours sounds extreme to me and in need of expert medical help (not chemical medicine.) Please research on these and I hope you get better, my brother.
 
Jack said:
I'm not sure if you've heard of this before or not but theres a therapy called EMDR ,which is supposed to be actually no bs for extreme anxiety. Along with this, A good Hypnotherapist will be able to remove all filth ASAP rather than some bs psychiatrist which is a scam thing anyway. If you hsuch extreme problems, getting good CBT,EMDR and proper Hypnotherapy healing must proceed advancement or fighting for the cause.This case of yours sounds extreme to me and in need of expert medical help (not chemical medicine.) Please research on these and I hope you get better, my brother.
I honestly would not go to a hypnotist, they could put some shit in your subconscious. There are many stories about this. The best thing would be using affirmations or registering your affirmation and listening to it during the day/during a trance or while sleeping. I did this for something and it works pretty well. I would not trust listening to those Subliminals you find on youtube as you don't fully know what they put in them.
 
Hang in there Mate. You as an SS are so much more valuable than someone that will never do a single F - RTR.

I think if a person commits suicide they immediately feel intense pain and REGRET.

And you know what?

You will have to reincarnate having it worse with that as well in your aura then.

Best just to slog on, work on yourself and fight to create a better world to reincarnate into.

See we have no option. We don't fight for others. It's all for our own benefit because of reincarnation,

I'm sorry to say I don't have any real advice for you, but I will talk through some of my thoughts.

Someone said to me to 'take one day at a time.'

You know pot smokers swear that smoking weed is okay. But I can see that they can be paranoid and live too much in their imaginations.

I for one hate the slowed down feeling it gives me. And it makes me hopelessly lazy and clumsy.

I'd lay off that weed totally. It's illegal and probably so because it affects the nervous system negatively. Like the paranoia I see.

If you can practice void and get control of your mind maybe you could then control your emotions and thoughts better.

I too was more advanced before but somethings holding me back from proceeding to advance again. Maybe time restraints with work and the fear I won't be able to keep it up for tiredness. But it is seeming harder to get back into spiritually advancing. Which it wouldn't be if I just forged ahead because I can feel the energy there.

I can see your fear of talking to someone because you'll have to keep this secret. And you just don't know what could come out of the case they build up against you.

I don't know but maybe they could arrest you and commit you to a mental asylum against your will. Who knows and it's a worry.

If you saw your GP the doctor would definitely prescribe antidepressants.

Apparently a lot of research has gone into antidepressants and they can help give you a breather by taking the edge off.

But then it's been said that its numbing your brain. Like what doesn't feel? A rock. Like rocks for brains.

But if you're really off the rails then maybe you'd be grateful to have gotten some help instead of a worse outcome. Prevention is better than cure.

You are not alone because you're in the group here. It can be a lonely path because you're awake and others are all cucked out. Imagine what lost xtianised slaves are out there.

You know how the enemy can control the people that have opened themselves to the yhvh thoughtform. Maybe it's enemy attacks because of holes in your aura from smoking.

In which case maybe a banishing ritual could help. And maybe someone else can suggest some other working for you like a square or runes?

I don't get that empty feeling. But I see it often in those without because they have no purpose. They are empty from xtianity and loving materialism. They lack the spirituality we know about.

There are major crisis going on in the world. And maybe it's just overwhelming you.

I want you to be aware of how you're feeling. And then ask yourself what am I thinking?

You will find a person cannot be happy while thinking depressing thoughts.

When you feel bad feelings change what you're thinking to something more positive.

Make a great long list of gratitudes.

You know I've been homeless. And I'm so grateful everyday day to have my own place now. I'm so grateful to be able to wash myself. I'm so grateful to have food and to be able to prepare a hot meal.

I have a fully functional body and am not living in pain.

There will be lots of things you could be grateful for.

Make a list and meditate daily on that list adding more as they come to you.

As a bloke we don't really have to worry about not having a girlfriend.

Women lose their appeal the older they get. Men however can always get a younger woman because older men tend to be more established and have more to offer.

So young girls will not have much going with someone their own age. But they will get more from an older guy that has built up more. So as a man don't worry about it. It's something for women to worry about.

My brother we all have our challenges. It's life to experience and grow. Just pull yourself up by the boot straps. There's always another day.

But you need to kick that weed habit and totally for good.
 
Others can give you a lot more direct spiritual advice, but I just want to give you some general advice because minus the drug usage, I’ve been in some very deep holes myself.

Whenever I feel as if I’m in a bad situation in life, I try to look at the broader picture. Think of how long our lives are. Then we have multiple lives. Immortality if we work for it. The scope of that is immense. A bad few years for an immortal being is like stubbing our toes. It hurts for a moment. But it’ll pass, if you are working to get out of it. The obsession with quickness, of getting to a better state now ultimately does us more harm than good. It sets up tremendous expectations for ourselves and when we don’t follow through, the failure puts us further back then if we would have been realistic with our goals. Feel the flow of your life and start climbing back up. If you skip steps you’re more likely to fall. Just keep a steady pace that works for you, not against you. You already know what is wrong. You’re already far ahead of others that bury their heads and give in to the misery of their lives.

Good luck on your journeys.
 
luis said:
Jack said:
I'm not sure if you've heard of this before or not but theres a therapy called EMDR ,which is supposed to be actually no bs for extreme anxiety. Along with this, A good Hypnotherapist will be able to remove all filth ASAP rather than some bs psychiatrist which is a scam thing anyway. If you hsuch extreme problems, getting good CBT,EMDR and proper Hypnotherapy healing must proceed advancement or fighting for the cause.This case of yours sounds extreme to me and in need of expert medical help (not chemical medicine.) Please research on these and I hope you get better, my brother.
I honestly would not go to a hypnotist, they could put some shit in your subconscious. There are many stories about this. The best thing would be using affirmations or registering your affirmation and listening to it during the day/during a trance or while sleeping. I did this for something and it works pretty well. I would not trust listening to those Subliminals you find on youtube as you don't fully know what they put in them.
These are professionals who have a license to practice this, they have a doctor-patient conduc they've been sworn into. You also have to reach out and confirm with credible people of the reviews before taking this kind of service. A good rule of thumb is check the results of individual people. These YouTube Subliminals do not work. Subliminals in general do not work when you have extreme mental blockages and issues like this. Youd need a blank slate for them to work. Trust me, I've tried all that shit and it doesn't work. Just working consistently after cleaning out mental blocks works 100%.
 
Jack said:
luis said:
Jack said:
I'm not sure if you've heard of this before or not but theres a therapy called EMDR ,which is supposed to be actually no bs for extreme anxiety. Along with this, A good Hypnotherapist will be able to remove all filth ASAP rather than some bs psychiatrist which is a scam thing anyway. If you hsuch extreme problems, getting good CBT,EMDR and proper Hypnotherapy healing must proceed advancement or fighting for the cause.This case of yours sounds extreme to me and in need of expert medical help (not chemical medicine.) Please research on these and I hope you get better, my brother.
I honestly would not go to a hypnotist, they could put some shit in your subconscious. There are many stories about this. The best thing would be using affirmations or registering your affirmation and listening to it during the day/during a trance or while sleeping. I did this for something and it works pretty well. I would not trust listening to those Subliminals you find on youtube as you don't fully know what they put in them.
These are professionals who have a license to practice this, they have a doctor-patient conduc they've been sworn into. You also have to reach out and confirm with credible people of the reviews before taking this kind of service. A good rule of thumb is check the results of individual people. These YouTube Subliminals do not work. Subliminals in general do not work when you have extreme mental blockages and issues like this. Youd need a blank slate for them to work. Trust me, I've tried all that shit and it doesn't work. Just working consistently after cleaning out mental blocks works 100%.
I know the YouTube ones do not work this Is why i said make your own audio affirmations and use it. I tried and it worked. Its better than nothing. I personally would not trust even a professional.
 
Jack said:
luis said:
Jack said:
I'm not sure if you've heard of this before or not but theres a therapy called EMDR ,which is supposed to be actually no bs for extreme anxiety. Along with this, A good Hypnotherapist will be able to remove all filth ASAP rather than some bs psychiatrist which is a scam thing anyway. If you hsuch extreme problems, getting good CBT,EMDR and proper Hypnotherapy healing must proceed advancement or fighting for the cause.This case of yours sounds extreme to me and in need of expert medical help (not chemical medicine.) Please research on these and I hope you get better, my brother.
I honestly would not go to a hypnotist, they could put some shit in your subconscious. There are many stories about this. The best thing would be using affirmations or registering your affirmation and listening to it during the day/during a trance or while sleeping. I did this for something and it works pretty well. I would not trust listening to those Subliminals you find on youtube as you don't fully know what they put in them.
These are professionals who have a license to practice this, they have a doctor-patient conduc they've been sworn into. You also have to reach out and confirm with credible people of the reviews before taking this kind of service. A good rule of thumb is check the results of individual people. These YouTube Subliminals do not work. Subliminals in general do not work when you have extreme mental blockages and issues like this. Youd need a blank slate for them to work. Trust me, I've tried all that shit and it doesn't work. Just working consistently after cleaning out mental blocks works 100%.
I went to a hypnotherapist once and the phone rang while she was doing the recording which kind of fucked me up a bit because I was in trance.

I went home and listened to it like she said to do and it fucked me up even further.

Don't know why I listened to it again knowing it had the phone ring again but I guess I was just desperate and also I couldn't think straight anyway.

When I confronted her about it she told me that the call was from a girl who was a rape victim and that I should not worry about it (as if her problems were more important than mine).

I had had PTSD at the time which is a fucking nightmare and she said to just keep doing it WITH A FUCKING LOUD ASS PHONE RINGING HALF WAY THROUGH THE TRACK.

Super unprofessional she wouldn't even re-do the session recording correctly or refund my money.

Found out later that she was a fucking Jewess after investigating her.

This was all before I became SS.

Moral of the story...make sure your practitioner isn't a fucking kike if you do take the hypnotherapy route!
 
You need to remove the curses from your soul and remove all the shit from your aura.
Look at your chart to see where your planets are weak and do a working with the runes or squares.
You need focus on something outside your self. Something you can do for yourself and by yourself, instead of defining yourself via arbitrary perceptions.
What are you so angry at that makes you explode? If its something someone else did and it was heinous, consider revenge. That is why we have black magic.

Your idea that you cannot connect with Satan is just self-hatred. Think outside yourself and look at how your post must look to someone who is not you. Continually you are claiming to be a cursed individual and that this is a foregone conclusion, that you totally lack energy, that you are dumb, that you are afraid, that you will 'pay the price', and that you are depressed, then you are affirming these things which can manifest them into reality in the nastiest way imaginable. Already you had the incident with the gun.

But isn't that whole affair with the gun an indication the Gods are protecting you?

Then, as for the positive things, you just say you 'want'...? Why not 'I AM having a family' and 'I AM breaking this endless cycle of destruction'? The words you use make all the difference. I am not calling you stupid, I am just saying try to think of this in a different way. Step outside yourself and try not to demean yourself.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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