FancyMancy
Well-known member
- Joined
- Sep 20, 2017
- Messages
- 6,734
I am not seeking Astrological help, so that's why I put this in here. If you prefer to move it to the Astrology section, then you know what to do!
Hi, all.
I wish Astrology was a person so I could curse it and then damn it. As I still struggle with the difficult and disciplining discipline of Astrology, I am not 100% certain that I am correct in this...but based on what I think I might be able to understand a bit about it...I think I am one who needs to learn the hard way. I fking hate that. There is/are one or more area/s of my life which I have had to struggle with - I won't compare with others, because I know some have had far worse lives than I in whichever way/s, but for me it has been as shit as a cesspit full of shit swilling in shit water, but due to Astrology being so kind to me, and also the everyday jew shit piled up on top of (sh)it, this has "had to be". Perhaps Magickally, or perhaps coincidentally/as per "fate" or ultimately "destiny", or maybe perhaps with Godly intervention...or a mixture of any of these, a thing has happened with me which, by anyone's standard, would have been a pure, sheer and utter accident - but a good one, and an extremely good one at that.
I did not do a proper working for this, but I did repeat affirmations/mantras to myself often regarding something or things, and while I was not doing them in the safest way, i.e. with "in a safe, positive... way for me", it still happened practically as I said, and the chances of having it be accurate to my wishes seemed incredibly, incredibly unlikely; what luck that is - a silver lining in a dark cloud in a murky sky, by which I mean the struggle has been the murky sky, the dark cloud was how it occured, and the silver lining obviously is the good thing. Part of the reason I think it is a coincidence, and that my non-working had any power in it at all, is because I think it was "due to happen" at some point, at long last, finally, eventually. Perhaps I gave it a bit of a nudge. Perhaps not. I still do have coincidences, though, like I said, and it appears to be that if I am bogged-down with crap, I seem to notice coincidences more, or at all - but now that I've said that, I probably have jinxed it! Some of you would know that I experience so many coincidences personally - some meh-type ones, like something just happening to happen and it is trivial and not (seemingly) important; while others, both in the Physical world and here in the Virtual world online, both of these worlds being very real, some coincidences are very real, direct, and as accurate as...well...Hell - but with these coincidences, surely - and surely - there is something more to them than mere coinkydinks. I want to believe that I might have given it a nudge, but I am convinced it was merely an accident and due to happen.
I said it was an extremely good accident, and it was, but due to this life-struggle, this has also been a struggle in and of itself, as well, yet it still - still - seems to be holding. It has been so challenging, in what I might say is my fault, but it's been a life struggle so perhaps that wasn't my fault as much or at all...but it still seems to exist and it appears that it won't stop, but it will continue and it will last. In among it, there may be a "bad" thing, which could cause problems or worse, but I'll have to see how the Fates decide to play with me and tease me for their perverse pleasure.
Curse you, Astrology! Damn you! Well, damn you to christian hell, anyway. Why must I have to learn the hard way? Why can't I follow instruction? Am I stupid? Retarded? I know there are 3 different ways to learn - hearing, seeing, and doing (not including intuition and having your Third Eye open which helps you to not be deceived, so then you can learn in a different way). Apparently - obviously - I am not good at the hearing part. That part of my existence seems to be a bit, or a lot, deaf. Then if I see, I can then copy, but then I might embarrass or humiliate myself because I am naïve and inexperienced...but then after a certain amount of embarrassment or humiliation, the damage is done, so meh. Fuck it. Just keep calm and carry on, hey? People need a spectacle, so why not give them one? Hey - they may even pay me for the show. I am not saying this very literally, but even if I were alone and I made a mistake, I'd still feel ashamed, embarrassed, whatever. Pissed off and then upset about failing again. I think that's an insecurity. I think in some ways my mind is too open, in that I know I am not ignorant of some things, that I know that "god" is watching me masturbate, or the Gods and Goddesses and a plethora of other entities and beings can be seeing me...even if I cannot see them yet. If I were an idiot, not realising things exist and that the matrix is not all that exists, then I might dance and prance around like a ninny, until I noticed someone peering through my window which would be embarrassing, maybe. Regardless, I seem to know things, but just don't seem to be able to do things. I don't want to say "can't seem to be able to do things", because that, while a negation as opposed to an affirmation, is speaking negatively about myself, so I say "don't seem to be able to do things" because that's a fact (so far), an observation.
Anyway, through a shit thing in a shit life of shitty shit came a good thing and that thing is lasting - and that is a positive affirmation. This thing is lasting. I thought I upset myself, and I was frustrated, but then very quickly I realised something which I forgot, so then I pondered on that for a moment and then realised that it's all OK. Der. Idiot. Anyway, this good thing is either a very happy accident; or a bit of a nudge of my non-working repeated affirmations/mantras, albeit not safely, positively, etc.; a bit or a lot of Godly intervention - but then They wouldn't cause or allow a bad type of thing to happen so as to help you to get a thing...unless that bad type of thing was necessary, because there was no other possible way to make it happen (Hitler was in jail for a year, so if He can go through a bad thing, then stop being a whingey cry-baby bitch!) or that you needed correction or whatever; or it was a mixture of any or all of these things. Whatever the weather, whether the weather is sunny or rainy, you can still have beautiful colours in and among it - the beauty of Nature in flowers, or the rainbow in the sky. It's all your perspective - and that's a choice. You don't sit still wondering if the cavalry is coming over the hill to save you; you get up as high as you can to see the cavalry on the hill from afar. A good thing happened, and it's fucking good, positively, actually, really. I would like to tell you what it is, but maybe I've let my guard slip by revealing this much already.
I don't know if I am posting this as maybe to start a like-minded discussion with life struggles and/or Astrology and/or whatever, or if I am posting it as a testimonial, or to ask for opinions regarding if you think it is a coincidence (because I didn't do proper workings, and as you may have read I am one to advance so slowly compared with others - not that I should compare with others, though) and it might be a mere - big and direct and specific - coincidence, or if it is to encourage any readers, or whatever or why...but I just thought I should share it, and it's here so take it as you want it.
Hi, all.
I wish Astrology was a person so I could curse it and then damn it. As I still struggle with the difficult and disciplining discipline of Astrology, I am not 100% certain that I am correct in this...but based on what I think I might be able to understand a bit about it...I think I am one who needs to learn the hard way. I fking hate that. There is/are one or more area/s of my life which I have had to struggle with - I won't compare with others, because I know some have had far worse lives than I in whichever way/s, but for me it has been as shit as a cesspit full of shit swilling in shit water, but due to Astrology being so kind to me, and also the everyday jew shit piled up on top of (sh)it, this has "had to be". Perhaps Magickally, or perhaps coincidentally/as per "fate" or ultimately "destiny", or maybe perhaps with Godly intervention...or a mixture of any of these, a thing has happened with me which, by anyone's standard, would have been a pure, sheer and utter accident - but a good one, and an extremely good one at that.
I did not do a proper working for this, but I did repeat affirmations/mantras to myself often regarding something or things, and while I was not doing them in the safest way, i.e. with "in a safe, positive... way for me", it still happened practically as I said, and the chances of having it be accurate to my wishes seemed incredibly, incredibly unlikely; what luck that is - a silver lining in a dark cloud in a murky sky, by which I mean the struggle has been the murky sky, the dark cloud was how it occured, and the silver lining obviously is the good thing. Part of the reason I think it is a coincidence, and that my non-working had any power in it at all, is because I think it was "due to happen" at some point, at long last, finally, eventually. Perhaps I gave it a bit of a nudge. Perhaps not. I still do have coincidences, though, like I said, and it appears to be that if I am bogged-down with crap, I seem to notice coincidences more, or at all - but now that I've said that, I probably have jinxed it! Some of you would know that I experience so many coincidences personally - some meh-type ones, like something just happening to happen and it is trivial and not (seemingly) important; while others, both in the Physical world and here in the Virtual world online, both of these worlds being very real, some coincidences are very real, direct, and as accurate as...well...Hell - but with these coincidences, surely - and surely - there is something more to them than mere coinkydinks. I want to believe that I might have given it a nudge, but I am convinced it was merely an accident and due to happen.
I said it was an extremely good accident, and it was, but due to this life-struggle, this has also been a struggle in and of itself, as well, yet it still - still - seems to be holding. It has been so challenging, in what I might say is my fault, but it's been a life struggle so perhaps that wasn't my fault as much or at all...but it still seems to exist and it appears that it won't stop, but it will continue and it will last. In among it, there may be a "bad" thing, which could cause problems or worse, but I'll have to see how the Fates decide to play with me and tease me for their perverse pleasure.
Curse you, Astrology! Damn you! Well, damn you to christian hell, anyway. Why must I have to learn the hard way? Why can't I follow instruction? Am I stupid? Retarded? I know there are 3 different ways to learn - hearing, seeing, and doing (not including intuition and having your Third Eye open which helps you to not be deceived, so then you can learn in a different way). Apparently - obviously - I am not good at the hearing part. That part of my existence seems to be a bit, or a lot, deaf. Then if I see, I can then copy, but then I might embarrass or humiliate myself because I am naïve and inexperienced...but then after a certain amount of embarrassment or humiliation, the damage is done, so meh. Fuck it. Just keep calm and carry on, hey? People need a spectacle, so why not give them one? Hey - they may even pay me for the show. I am not saying this very literally, but even if I were alone and I made a mistake, I'd still feel ashamed, embarrassed, whatever. Pissed off and then upset about failing again. I think that's an insecurity. I think in some ways my mind is too open, in that I know I am not ignorant of some things, that I know that "god" is watching me masturbate, or the Gods and Goddesses and a plethora of other entities and beings can be seeing me...even if I cannot see them yet. If I were an idiot, not realising things exist and that the matrix is not all that exists, then I might dance and prance around like a ninny, until I noticed someone peering through my window which would be embarrassing, maybe. Regardless, I seem to know things, but just don't seem to be able to do things. I don't want to say "can't seem to be able to do things", because that, while a negation as opposed to an affirmation, is speaking negatively about myself, so I say "don't seem to be able to do things" because that's a fact (so far), an observation.
Anyway, through a shit thing in a shit life of shitty shit came a good thing and that thing is lasting - and that is a positive affirmation. This thing is lasting. I thought I upset myself, and I was frustrated, but then very quickly I realised something which I forgot, so then I pondered on that for a moment and then realised that it's all OK. Der. Idiot. Anyway, this good thing is either a very happy accident; or a bit of a nudge of my non-working repeated affirmations/mantras, albeit not safely, positively, etc.; a bit or a lot of Godly intervention - but then They wouldn't cause or allow a bad type of thing to happen so as to help you to get a thing...unless that bad type of thing was necessary, because there was no other possible way to make it happen (Hitler was in jail for a year, so if He can go through a bad thing, then stop being a whingey cry-baby bitch!) or that you needed correction or whatever; or it was a mixture of any or all of these things. Whatever the weather, whether the weather is sunny or rainy, you can still have beautiful colours in and among it - the beauty of Nature in flowers, or the rainbow in the sky. It's all your perspective - and that's a choice. You don't sit still wondering if the cavalry is coming over the hill to save you; you get up as high as you can to see the cavalry on the hill from afar. A good thing happened, and it's fucking good, positively, actually, really. I would like to tell you what it is, but maybe I've let my guard slip by revealing this much already.
I don't know if I am posting this as maybe to start a like-minded discussion with life struggles and/or Astrology and/or whatever, or if I am posting it as a testimonial, or to ask for opinions regarding if you think it is a coincidence (because I didn't do proper workings, and as you may have read I am one to advance so slowly compared with others - not that I should compare with others, though) and it might be a mere - big and direct and specific - coincidence, or if it is to encourage any readers, or whatever or why...but I just thought I should share it, and it's here so take it as you want it.
