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Controversial theme: how to deal with and heal the trauma of rape

A

afl666

New member
Joined
Feb 1, 2020
Messages
91
I know this is a controversial issue, but unfortunately rape occurs to a greater extent than is actually reported.

I was a victim of rape a few years ago by a man in my family (it started when I was 4). It turns out that even today there are consequences of this trauma.

Fortunately since I made my dedication, I have had no more nightmares from rape; but I still have glimpses of all the disgusting things the bastard did to me, and even though he died, that bastard still haunts me in my dreams and sometimes I feel the bastard's presence beside me.

For many years, my mind blocked everything that this bastard did to me (I read several studies that say that when the trauma is very big, the mind tends to "hide" all the memories as a defense) and after going through some very difficult situations ; all the memories (with details) came and how I had a mixture of disgust, shame, anger, humiliation; I ended up trying to commit suicide.

I had psychiatric treatment once and psychological treatment twice, but that didn't help me much.

Like most women who suffer rape, I first started to relate only to scoundrels and then I simply decided not to have a relationship with any man, because for a long time I felt dirty and unworthy of having a relationship with a decent guy.

It has been a few years since I just left home to go to work, the market, the pharmacy, the bakery ... Anyway, I have been isolated for a few years; I have no friends, boyfriends, nothing.

But after I got to know JoS, I made my dedication and started my daily routine that all Satanists have; I "discovered" that I am worthy of being loved, that I deserve to have a partner and a healthy relationship.

It turns out that I still have some blocks in this sexual issue and in the issue of trusting people (especially men - just to clarify, I am heterosexual) and I still have difficulties in touching myself, in stimulating myself sexually.

In addition to AoP, I program my aura with positive affirmations for protection, Runa Sowilo and Tyr for protection, Runa Ansuz for cleaning, RTR, Runa Wunjo for inner healing, Returning Curses 2, in addition to Meditations; what else could I do to heal this trauma that I suffered; and so that I can return to a healthy sex life without trauma and / or blockages?

And also in relation to the bastard who did this to me, in addition to the Banishing Ritual; what else can i do for him to leave me alone and especially for him to pay for everything he did to me?
 
Healing takes time, continue doing your meditations everyday. It took me long time to get rid of many traumatic experiences, and overcoming bunch of emotional issues. Best is to clean each chakras every day, you can use runes, raum meditation, suraye. Hung ups can be attached on your chakras, cleaning, removing blockage it will help get rid of the problems. You can use visudhi on your chakras, vibrate every day several times. You should use Ball of gold energy as well, starting from top of your head, pushing down all dirt away from your body.
There is sermon on this Hps Maxine wrote.
The process of cleaning soul and chakras is long but is worth it. Don't let the past keep you from having a good future.
You can curse the bastard who did this to you, if his soul still around, I would advance and tear his soul up in pieces...if I was you.
 
I'm very sorry for what you've been through.
For the guy you can ask the Gods if they can destroy the fucker's soul.
As for yourself, you should do a psychological healing, you can use the rune wunjo, as for the affirmation I really have no idea how to make one for this kind of problem, I'm sure others will be able to help too:)
 
afl666 said:
in addition to Meditations; what else could I do to heal this trauma that I suffered; and so that I can return to a healthy sex life without trauma and / or blockages?
Click to expand...
Okay so this might sound a little weird, but try this. At a time when you are undisturbed, make sure that your hands are nice and warm (rub them together if needed), take off your shirt, and gently massage your belly around the navel area with your fingers. As absurd as it may sound, this practice seems to help a ton for people who have sexual trauma, or any trauma relating to the sacral chakra in general.

The "science" behind it is that the organs behind the navel area commonly tense up and have energy get stuck in them, if there are traumas in the sacral chakra. By massaging this area gently, the organs relax and energy becomes freed up again. It should feel really good.

Also, in addition to this, you might want to look into the Schisandra berry. HP Lucius talked about it and it helps if you are commonly tense and stressed a lot. These things cause "jing loss", which makes you feel more tired and exhausted. The tea from these berries helps to prevent that. You can read more on it here.
 
Just doing spells probably isn't going to be enough, you have to do work in the material and mental world to heal, as well. The more angles you go at it from the better.

What kind of therapy did you do? Is that something you're willing to try again? That would be one of the most helpful things for processing and healing from the trauma, if you can find the right person.

You should look for someone who specializes in trauma, and especially for someone who you can genuinely connect with. Mainstream approaches like CBT/DBT aren't very effective for these kinds of issues IMO since they're attacking a bottom up problem from the top down, using logic on an issue that's emotional and experiential in nature and neglecting the other half of the equation. It's not holistic.

Detachment and repression of traumatic memories is a survival strategy, for sure. And it was necessary and helpful with what you faced growing up. But once you're out of the traumatic environment, these survival strategies can remain in play and hold you back, because repressed emotions and experiences don't go away, they just remain beneath of your awareness, and come out in unhealthy, unconscious ways(like ending up in dysfunctional relationships that mimic what you experienced earlier in life) and keep you from seeing and healing your wounds.

The repression is like putting a bookcase in front of a hole in the wall. The hole is still there, but it becomes out of sight out of mind and so the hole never gets fixed as long as it's covered up and ignored, yet you still have to deal with the draft and the pests that come in through it. The key is to remember the traumatic events without reliving them and being stuck in the past, so that you can process them, put them to rest, move on and live for the present and the future.

The issues with trust should be alleviated once you address the core issue. But you'll need positive experiences to counterbalance the negative ones and learn that there are people that are safe for you to trust and be vulnerable with.
 
afl666 said:
what else could I do to heal this trauma that I suffered; and so that I can return to a healthy sex life without trauma and / or blockages?
Click to expand...

There is a way, which is freeing your soul from karmic negative energies and curses. If I remember right, the topic with the workings is called "How to obliterate your Saturn", you can find it with the search option. You must be aware that the working will "reveal" or "bring to the surface" all these negative energies and curses deeply rooted in the soul. It will not be a pleasurable experience as you will have to go through all this negative thoughts and feelings , but is required in order to clean and free the soul.

afl666 said:
what else can i do for him to leave me alone and especially for him to pay for everything he did to me?
Click to expand...
Since he's already dead, I don't really know if you can do something to him anymore. If he was alive, you could curse him. But I think you can do a ritual to ask the Gods to "sort him out". I know how frustrating is for someone to suffer and not being able to fight back anymore. This is why I think asking the Gods for help is the only way you can hurt him since he's dead. Also I wonder if he is haunting you for real or you feel this because of the trauma.
 
Adlar said:
afl666 said:
And also in relation to the bastard who did this to me, in addition to the Banishing Ritual; what else can i do for him to leave me alone and especially for him to pay for everything he did to me?
Click to expand...

Take your revenge https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Destruction.htmll

And Make sure that he is completely destroyed so he doesn't rape other girls

BTW there is mental rape, spiritual rape and physical rape.
Click to expand...

This link is working a 100% the link above had an extra alphabet

https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Destruction.html
 
Aquarius said:
I'm very sorry for what you've been through.
For the guy you can ask the Gods if they can destroy the fucker's soul.
As for yourself, you should do a psychological healing, you can use the rune wunjo, as for the affirmation I really have no idea how to make one for this kind of problem, I'm sure others will be able to help too:)
Click to expand...

Thanks for the words and the help.

I will start Runa Wunjo's work for psychological healing.

And I will ask for the destruction of the soul of that bastard.
 
Adlar said:
afl666 said:
And also in relation to the bastard who did this to me, in addition to the Banishing Ritual; what else can i do for him to leave me alone and especially for him to pay for everything he did to me?
Click to expand...

Take your revenge https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Destruction.htmll

And Make sure that he is completely destroyed so he doesn't rape other girls

BTW there is mental rape, spiritual rape and physical rape.
Click to expand...

Thank you for your help.

I was not even aware that there is mental and spiritual rape; in addition to physical rape.
 
Shael said:
afl666 said:
in addition to Meditations; what else could I do to heal this trauma that I suffered; and so that I can return to a healthy sex life without trauma and / or blockages?
Click to expand...
Okay so this might sound a little weird, but try this. At a time when you are undisturbed, make sure that your hands are nice and warm (rub them together if needed), take off your shirt, and gently massage your belly around the navel area with your fingers. As absurd as it may sound, this practice seems to help a ton for people who have sexual trauma, or any trauma relating to the sacral chakra in general.

The "science" behind it is that the organs behind the navel area commonly tense up and have energy get stuck in them, if there are traumas in the sacral chakra. By massaging this area gently, the organs relax and energy becomes freed up again. It should feel really good.

Also, in addition to this, you might want to look into the Schisandra berry. HP Lucius talked about it and it helps if you are commonly tense and stressed a lot. These things cause "jing loss", which makes you feel more tired and exhausted. The tea from these berries helps to prevent that. You can read more on it here.
Click to expand...


I'm going to do the massage you taught and I'm going to take a look at the HP Lucius post.

Thanks for everything..
 
Adlar said:
afl666 said:
And also in relation to the bastard who did this to me, in addition to the Banishing Ritual; what else can i do for him to leave me alone and especially for him to pay for everything he did to me?
Click to expand...

Take your revenge https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Destruction.htmll

And Make sure that he is completely destroyed so he doesn't rape other girls

BTW there is mental rape, spiritual rape and physical rape.
Click to expand...
Can you clarify what you mean by mental and spiritual rape ?
 
Jack said:
Adlar said:
afl666 said:
And also in relation to the bastard who did this to me, in addition to the Banishing Ritual; what else can i do for him to leave me alone and especially for him to pay for everything he did to me?
Click to expand...

Take your revenge https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Destruction.htmll

And Make sure that he is completely destroyed so he doesn't rape other girls

BTW there is mental rape, spiritual rape and physical rape.
Click to expand...
Can you clarify what you mean by mental and spiritual rape ?
Click to expand...

Yh I wonder what mental rape is? Pop music ? Lol

I know that spiritual rape is something which people here have reported, but I think it does not necessarily connect with physical rape unless you are talking about likewise to here, memory of the physical events in the subconscious mind.

Physical rape is the only thing that causes the this in a psychological sense, so I dont think that as a term "mental rape" much applies to anything. I mean how do you mentally rape someone, surely it would just be in reference to the brains understanding and memory of the details of the physical event, thus "spiritual rape" is then synonymous with it as memory.

There are only two variants here. The term "mental-" is not connected to another form.
 
afl666 said:
I'm going to do the massage you taught and I'm going to take a look at the HP Lucius post.

Thanks for everything..
Click to expand...
Let me know how it goes and if it helped you :)

Also of course keep doing your workings to heal yourself. Wunjo and Ansuz are perfect for these kinds of things. Wish you the best.
 
Hps.mlimlal666 said:
Healing takes time, continue doing your meditations everyday. It took me long time to get rid of many traumatic experiences, and overcoming bunch of emotional issues. Best is to clean each chakras every day, you can use runes, raum meditation, suraye. Hung ups can be attached on your chakras, cleaning, removing blockage it will help get rid of the problems. You can use visudhi on your chakras, vibrate every day several times. You should use Ball of gold energy as well, starting from top of your head, pushing down all dirt away from your body.
There is sermon on this Hps Maxine wrote.
The process of cleaning soul and chakras is long but is worth it. Don't let the past keep you from having a good future.
You can curse the bastard who did this to you, if his soul still around, I would advance and tear his soul up in pieces...if I was you.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the guidance.

I started using Vishuddi to clean the Chakras, I started a job yesterday to Free the Soul from psychological trauma and a work with Runa Wina to reinforce the healing of the trauma.

And I started a new meditation program focusing on the issue of cleanliness, chakras and RTR.

In relation to Hung ups, today I found the topic in the Forum that talks about this topic and I am reading to start putting it into practice.
 
Hps.mlimlal666 said:
Healing takes time, continue doing your meditations everyday. It took me long time to get rid of many traumatic experiences, and overcoming bunch of emotional issues. Best is to clean each chakras every day, you can use runes, raum meditation, suraye. Hung ups can be attached on your chakras, cleaning, removing blockage it will help get rid of the problems. You can use visudhi on your chakras, vibrate every day several times. You should use Ball of gold energy as well, starting from top of your head, pushing down all dirt away from your body.
There is sermon on this Hps Maxine wrote.
The process of cleaning soul and chakras is long but is worth it. Don't let the past keep you from having a good future.
You can curse the bastard who did this to you, if his soul still around, I would advance and tear his soul up in pieces...if I was you.
Click to expand...

Thanks for the guidance.

I started using Vishuddi to clean the Chakras, I started a job yesterday to Free the Soul from psychological trauma and a work with Runa Wina to reinforce the healing of the trauma.

And I started a new meditation program focusing on the issue of cleanliness, chakras and RTR.

In relation to Hung ups, today I found the topic in the Forum that talks about this topic and I am reading to start putting it into practice.
 
curio said:
Just doing spells probably isn't going to be enough, you have to do work in the material and mental world to heal, as well. The more angles you go at it from the better.

What kind of therapy did you do? Is that something you're willing to try again? That would be one of the most helpful things for processing and healing from the trauma, if you can find the right person.

You should look for someone who specializes in trauma, and especially for someone who you can genuinely connect with. Mainstream approaches like CBT/DBT aren't very effective for these kinds of issues IMO since they're attacking a bottom up problem from the top down, using logic on an issue that's emotional and experiential in nature and neglecting the other half of the equation. It's not holistic.

Detachment and repression of traumatic memories is a survival strategy, for sure. And it was necessary and helpful with what you faced growing up. But once you're out of the traumatic environment, these survival strategies can remain in play and hold you back, because repressed emotions and experiences don't go away, they just remain beneath of your awareness, and come out in unhealthy, unconscious ways(like ending up in dysfunctional relationships that mimic what you experienced earlier in life) and keep you from seeing and healing your wounds.

The repression is like putting a bookcase in front of a hole in the wall. The hole is still there, but it becomes out of sight out of mind and so the hole never gets fixed as long as it's covered up and ignored, yet you still have to deal with the draft and the pests that come in through it. The key is to remember the traumatic events without reliving them and being stuck in the past, so that you can process them, put them to rest, move on and live for the present and the future.

The issues with trust should be alleviated once you address the core issue. But you'll need positive experiences to counterbalance the negative ones and learn that there are people that are safe for you to trust and be vulnerable with.
Click to expand...

At first, I only had therapy with a psychologist who was a specialist in trauma, but after a few months of treatment I started to be much more depressed than I was at the beginning of the treatment and then I was discharged.

The second time was treatment with a psychiatrist and psychologist; but the problem is that the psychiatrist wanted me to take two very strong tranquilizers a day (he didn’t give it up) and in the only two days that I took the drugs I was completely numb and airy. And in relation to the psychologist, it got to the point where I didn't feel more comfortable continuing the sessions; and then I discharged.

Today, I would not be willing to undergo a new psychiatric or psychological treatment; precisely because it is very difficult for you to find professionals who are specialized in dealing with sexual trauma.

One thing that helped me was being able to talk about what happened, because for years I kept it all to myself.

I am learning to live with the memories of everything that happened, because it is a long and very difficult path; but at least I don't think about suicide anymore, I don't feel unworthy or "dirty" anymore; and the main thing is the fact that today I want to leave the house again, have fun, meet people and have a healthy relationship. This is already a big step for me.
 
Shael said:
afl666 said:
I'm going to do the massage you taught and I'm going to take a look at the HP Lucius post.

Thanks for everything..
Click to expand...
Let me know how it goes and if it helped you :)

Also of course keep doing your workings to heal yourself. Wunjo and Ansuz are perfect for these kinds of things. Wish you the best.
Click to expand...

Combined.

I will share my progress with you, and I will definitely continue with the healing work.

I will make a combination of Wunjo and Ansuz.

Thanks :)
 
afl666 said:
Combined.

I will share my progress with you, and I will definitely continue with the healing work.

I will make a combination of Wunjo and Ansuz.

Thanks :)
Click to expand...
As a little piece of general advice - you can always take whatever mantra(s) / rune(s) you are thinking of using, and just vibrate them for like 10-20 minutes or so. Just to feel the energies and how they affect you personally. (Make sure to still avoid the VoC). This way it's easier to tell in advance what would be best for you, before you even begin the actual working. We are all individual and some people synergize more with certain runes/mantras than others. :)
 
Shael said:
afl666 said:
Combined.

I will share my progress with you, and I will definitely continue with the healing work.

I will make a combination of Wunjo and Ansuz.

Thanks :)
Click to expand...
As a little piece of general advice - you can always take whatever mantra(s) / rune(s) you are thinking of using, and just vibrate them for like 10-20 minutes or so. Just to feel the energies and how they affect you personally. (Make sure to still avoid the VoC). This way it's easier to tell in advance what would be best for you, before you even begin the actual working. We are all individual and some people synergize more with certain runes/mantras than others. :)
Click to expand...

Thanks for the tip.
 
Shael said:
afl666 said:
I'm going to do the massage you taught and I'm going to take a look at the HP Lucius post.

Thanks for everything..
Click to expand...
Let me know how it goes and if it helped you :)

Also of course keep doing your workings to heal yourself. Wunjo and Ansuz are perfect for these kinds of things. Wish you the best.
Click to expand...


Hi Shael,

As I said, I started an intense work of Aura Cleaning, Protection Aura, Healing, RTR, the massage that you taught me; without letting go of my meditation routine.

I read the HP Lucius post and found it very interesting. I am doing Meditation, Hatha Yoga and Breathing Exercises; in relation to herbs, I still couldn't buy them, due to financial issues (I'm already working to improve this area of ​​my life).

Well come on ... About the massages I started to feel a pleasant warm feeling in the areas where I do the massages and the feeling is very good.

About the work of Cleaning and Healing, in the early days came many disgusting memories and sometimes I even cried; but still I continued with the work. I know this is normal and is part of the whole process. I already feel lighter and what's better, I never dreamed of what happened.

I know this is a long process and that I still have a lot to heal and clean, but I no longer feel as heavy and much less "dirty" as before.

I will continue to share my healing with you.

Thanks for everything. :) :) :)

P.S .: Last week, after many years I woke up excited and really enjoyed the feeling.
 
afl666 said:
...
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing things with me. I'm very glad to hear that you have gotten better. Do keep sharing your progress, and good job! :)
 
The Alchemist7 said:
afl666 said:
what else could I do to heal this trauma that I suffered; and so that I can return to a healthy sex life without trauma and / or blockages?
Click to expand...

There is a way, which is freeing your soul from karmic negative energies and curses. If I remember right, the topic with the workings is called "How to obliterate your Saturn", you can find it with the search option. You must be aware that the working will "reveal" or "bring to the surface" all these negative energies and curses deeply rooted in the soul. It will not be a pleasurable experience as you will have to go through all this negative thoughts and feelings , but is required in order to clean and free the soul.

afl666 said:
what else can i do for him to leave me alone and especially for him to pay for everything he did to me?
Click to expand...
Since he's already dead, I don't really know if you can do something to him anymore. If he was alive, you could curse him. But I think you can do a ritual to ask the Gods to "sort him out". I know how frustrating is for someone to suffer and not being able to fight back anymore. This is why I think asking the Gods for help is the only way you can hurt him since he's dead. Also I wonder if he is haunting you for real or you feel this because of the trauma.
Click to expand...

I found the post about obliterating saturn and I will do it.

I'm really not sure if it still haunts me or if it is due to the trauma. So I'm going to ask the Gods to help me solve this unknown question.

Thank you for your help.
 
You can program your aura as written on the joyofsatan website to present you the ways to heal, repair, and strengthen, your entire mind, body, and soul from the trauma or whatever else you need help on. You then should become open psychically for the answers that come about. Also, venting is always a major help in anything. You can workout, hit a punching bag, and/or shadow box and imagine tearing that bastard apart everyday to relieve yourself from the trauma, which heals you and destroys him( perfect revenge). Make sure to clean your aura afterwards. I also really dont deal with the psychiatric medicine in my own opinion as i think its rubbish and the fact that the "doctor" was a forceful in his approach to "treat" you is my reason from what you typed.
 
Length said:
You can program your aura as written on the joyofsatan website to present you the ways to heal, repair, and strengthen, your entire mind, body, and soul from the trauma or whatever else you need help on. You then should become open psychically for the answers that come about. Also, venting is always a major help in anything. You can workout, hit a punching bag, and/or shadow box and imagine tearing that bastard apart everyday to relieve yourself from the trauma, which heals you and destroys him( perfect revenge). Make sure to clean your aura afterwards. I also really dont deal with the psychiatric medicine in my own opinion as i think its rubbish and the fact that the "doctor" was a forceful in his approach to "treat" you is my reason from what you typed.
Click to expand...

Thank you for the tips.

I am already programming my aura for strengthening protection, protection and healing.

I liked the tip about hitting a punching bag.
 
Shael said:
afl666 said:
...
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing things with me. I'm very glad to hear that you have gotten better. Do keep sharing your progress, and good job! :)
Click to expand...

Shael,

I would like to thank you and your affection that you had with me and everyone in the Forum who guided me and tried to help me; and at the same time, I apologize to you and everyone; but I'm giving up everything.

I know that Satan is the only true God, but unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that I am playing the fool to believe that Satan and the Gods will help me.

I have been unemployed for over a year, I have no money even to buy my food and the basic things that a person needs to live with a minimum of dignity.

I've done rituals, spells, positive affirmations, I've asked for help, I've had faith, I've cried; but it was no use. I came to the conclusion that Satan and the Gods are too busy to be able to help me.

I see several testimonies on the website and the Forum that Satan and the Gods helped people who were in situations similar to mine; and that Satan and the Gods always help whoever is in a shitty situation like the one I am in; but I had no help. Apparently I am not worthy of the help of Satan and the Gods.

I know that many will say that I have no faith, that I am weak; but when you have no money even to buy a packet of rice or bread; or the sand and food of your relative is very difficult.

I thank you all for everything and wish you all the best.

I know that you will win and that the day will come when Satan and the Gods will finally destroy and annihilate all your enemies.
 
afl666 said:
...
Click to expand...
Frankly, I think that what you lack is not faith or effort or anything like that. What you lack is staying-power and patience. I know this might sound harsh, but this is what I think.

If you look at this situation objectively, then doing meditations and rituals doesn't do anything negative about your situation in any way. So what does giving up do for you? Absolutely nothing. Giving up from meditations isn't gonna make your situation magically fix itself. What you need to do is to start more heavily relying on yourself to fix the situation. Not on the Gods, on Satan, or on someone here on the forums. I'm sure this may be very hard, but it's necessary if you want to get out of your shitty situation. Things wont fix themselves miraculously within a few days or weeks. It takes time. Start relying on yourself and applying your efforts consistently every day, staying patient for as long as it takes. You don't have anything to lose here anyways, really. The only reason you'd want to quit is because you'd prefer sulking to yourself and wallowing in self-pity instead of taking action. This is a habit that needs to be destroyed in full.

You will never get anywhere, both in life and in meditation, if you do not learn to rely on nobody but yourself when it comes to your personal life and circumstances. It's your life and you need to put in the work to fix it. You can be mad at me for saying these things, but trust me when I say that you'll not get anywhere if you always need someone else to take you by the hand.
 
afl666 said:
Shael said:
afl666 said:
...
Click to expand...
Thank you for sharing things with me. I'm very glad to hear that you have gotten better. Do keep sharing your progress, and good job! :)
Click to expand...

Shael,

I would like to thank you and your affection that you had with me and everyone in the Forum who guided me and tried to help me; and at the same time, I apologize to you and everyone; but I'm giving up everything.

I know that Satan is the only true God, but unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that I am playing the fool to believe that Satan and the Gods will help me.

I have been unemployed for over a year, I have no money even to buy my food and the basic things that a person needs to live with a minimum of dignity.

I've done rituals, spells, positive affirmations, I've asked for help, I've had faith, I've cried; but it was no use. I came to the conclusion that Satan and the Gods are too busy to be able to help me.

I see several testimonies on the website and the Forum that Satan and the Gods helped people who were in situations similar to mine; and that Satan and the Gods always help whoever is in a shitty situation like the one I am in; but I had no help. Apparently I am not worthy of the help of Satan and the Gods.

I know that many will say that I have no faith, that I am weak; but when you have no money even to buy a packet of rice or bread; or the sand and food of your relative is very difficult.

I thank you all for everything and wish you all the best.

I know that you will win and that the day will come when Satan and the Gods will finally destroy and annihilate all your enemies.
Click to expand...
How do you expect to be helped if you can't help yourself? You have magick and you had 1 year to find a job and yet you managed to do nothing. Don't blame your failures to the Gods.
 
Shael said:
afl666 said:
...
Click to expand...
Frankly, I think that what you lack is not faith or effort or anything like that. What you lack is staying-power and patience. I know this might sound harsh, but this is what I think.

If you look at this situation objectively, then doing meditations and rituals doesn't do anything negative about your situation in any way. So what does giving up do for you? Absolutely nothing. Giving up from meditations isn't gonna make your situation magically fix itself. What you need to do is to start more heavily relying on yourself to fix the situation. Not on the Gods, on Satan, or on someone here on the forums. I'm sure this may be very hard, but it's necessary if you want to get out of your shitty situation. Things wont fix themselves miraculously within a few days or weeks. It takes time. Start relying on yourself and applying your efforts consistently every day, staying patient for as long as it takes. You don't have anything to lose here anyways, really. The only reason you'd want to quit is because you'd prefer sulking to yourself and wallowing in self-pity instead of taking action. This is a habit that needs to be destroyed in full.

You will never get anywhere, both in life and in meditation, if you do not learn to rely on nobody but yourself when it comes to your personal life and circumstances. It's your life and you need to put in the work to fix it. You can be mad at me for saying these things, but trust me when I say that you'll not get anywhere if you always need someone else to take you by the hand.
Click to expand...


I will never be angry with you, be sure of that.

You said: "... You will never get anywhere, either in life or in meditation, if you do not learn to trust anyone but yourself when it comes to your life and personal circumstances ...."

Yes I was wrong trust Satan and the Gods more than me. I really have to learn to trust only me.
 
Aquarius said:
afl666 said:
Shael said:
Thank you for sharing things with me. I'm very glad to hear that you have gotten better. Do keep sharing your progress, and good job! :)
Click to expand...

Shael,

I would like to thank you and your affection that you had with me and everyone in the Forum who guided me and tried to help me; and at the same time, I apologize to you and everyone; but I'm giving up everything.

I know that Satan is the only true God, but unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that I am playing the fool to believe that Satan and the Gods will help me.

I have been unemployed for over a year, I have no money even to buy my food and the basic things that a person needs to live with a minimum of dignity.

I've done rituals, spells, positive affirmations, I've asked for help, I've had faith, I've cried; but it was no use. I came to the conclusion that Satan and the Gods are too busy to be able to help me.

I see several testimonies on the website and the Forum that Satan and the Gods helped people who were in situations similar to mine; and that Satan and the Gods always help whoever is in a shitty situation like the one I am in; but I had no help. Apparently I am not worthy of the help of Satan and the Gods.

I know that many will say that I have no faith, that I am weak; but when you have no money even to buy a packet of rice or bread; or the sand and food of your relative is very difficult.

I thank you all for everything and wish you all the best.

I know that you will win and that the day will come when Satan and the Gods will finally destroy and annihilate all your enemies.
Click to expand...
How do you expect to be helped if you can't help yourself? You have magick and you had 1 year to find a job and yet you managed to do nothing. Don't blame your failures to the Gods.
Click to expand...

Yes, you are absolutely right. I am the one to blame for the shitty life I have and for all my failures.

As I am also the only one to blame for all the years I was raped by my own father and did nothing to destroy this son of a bitch the same way he did.

Yes, I am to blame for those seven months that I became SS I did not have the "competence to get a job", because I am still curing myself from the rapes I suffered; and all the times I woke up at dawn because I had nightmares about the rapes, reliving ALL the times I was raped in the most sordid details.

Contrary to what you say, I am helping myself; because as I thought it was more important to focus my energies on healing my psychological, which has been working because it has been a few weeks since I have had more nightmares.

Yes, I made the mistake of thinking that with that Satan and the Gods could help me get a job.

I am really the one to blame for everything, you are absolutely right.
 
Aquarius said:
afl666 said:
Shael said:
Thank you for sharing things with me. I'm very glad to hear that you have gotten better. Do keep sharing your progress, and good job! :)
Click to expand...

Shael,

I would like to thank you and your affection that you had with me and everyone in the Forum who guided me and tried to help me; and at the same time, I apologize to you and everyone; but I'm giving up everything.

I know that Satan is the only true God, but unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that I am playing the fool to believe that Satan and the Gods will help me.

I have been unemployed for over a year, I have no money even to buy my food and the basic things that a person needs to live with a minimum of dignity.

I've done rituals, spells, positive affirmations, I've asked for help, I've had faith, I've cried; but it was no use. I came to the conclusion that Satan and the Gods are too busy to be able to help me.

I see several testimonies on the website and the Forum that Satan and the Gods helped people who were in situations similar to mine; and that Satan and the Gods always help whoever is in a shitty situation like the one I am in; but I had no help. Apparently I am not worthy of the help of Satan and the Gods.

I know that many will say that I have no faith, that I am weak; but when you have no money even to buy a packet of rice or bread; or the sand and food of your relative is very difficult.

I thank you all for everything and wish you all the best.

I know that you will win and that the day will come when Satan and the Gods will finally destroy and annihilate all your enemies.
Click to expand...
How do you expect to be helped if you can't help yourself? You have magick and you had 1 year to find a job and yet you managed to do nothing. Don't blame your failures to the Gods.
Click to expand...


Yes, I am really the only one to blame because I focused 70% of my energies on healing my traumas and only 30% of my energies on the spells I did to get a job and a financial improvement.

I'm really the only one to blame for believing all the posts on the Forum where everyone says that Satan and the Gods help SS who are dedicating themselves and looking for spiritual and personal growth (which includes the financial part), and who still don't have enough power to achieve your goals alone; that just trust and have faith because Satan and the Gods always help dedicated Satanists.

I'm really the one to blame.
 
Aquarius said:
afl666 said:
Shael said:
Thank you for sharing things with me. I'm very glad to hear that you have gotten better. Do keep sharing your progress, and good job! :)
Click to expand...

Shael,

I would like to thank you and your affection that you had with me and everyone in the Forum who guided me and tried to help me; and at the same time, I apologize to you and everyone; but I'm giving up everything.

I know that Satan is the only true God, but unfortunately I have come to the conclusion that I am playing the fool to believe that Satan and the Gods will help me.

I have been unemployed for over a year, I have no money even to buy my food and the basic things that a person needs to live with a minimum of dignity.

I've done rituals, spells, positive affirmations, I've asked for help, I've had faith, I've cried; but it was no use. I came to the conclusion that Satan and the Gods are too busy to be able to help me.

I see several testimonies on the website and the Forum that Satan and the Gods helped people who were in situations similar to mine; and that Satan and the Gods always help whoever is in a shitty situation like the one I am in; but I had no help. Apparently I am not worthy of the help of Satan and the Gods.

I know that many will say that I have no faith, that I am weak; but when you have no money even to buy a packet of rice or bread; or the sand and food of your relative is very difficult.

I thank you all for everything and wish you all the best.

I know that you will win and that the day will come when Satan and the Gods will finally destroy and annihilate all your enemies.
Click to expand...
How do you expect to be helped if you can't help yourself? You have magick and you had 1 year to find a job and yet you managed to do nothing. Don't blame your failures to the Gods.
Click to expand...

Yes, I am really the only one to blame because I focused 70% of my energies on healing my traumas and only 30% of my energies on the spells I did to get a job and a financial improvement.

I'm really the only one to blame for believing all the posts on the Forum where everyone says that Satan and the Gods help SS who are dedicating themselves and looking for spiritual and personal growth (which includes the financial part), and who still don't have enough power to achieve your goals alone; that just trust and have faith because Satan and the Gods always help dedicated Satanists.

I'm really the one to blame.
 
You're playing victim at this point. Yes, life is hard, I'm discovering that too in these last few months. Having trauma doesn't mean you can't get jobs meanwhile.
 
Aquarius said:
You're playing victim at this point. Yes, life is hard, I'm discovering that too in these last few months. Having trauma doesn't mean you can't get jobs meanwhile.
Click to expand...



In fact, I'm tired of everything, the memories of what I went through and even being a victim. Life is not easy and I know it well.

I'm sorry that you're having a hard time; but I read a lot of your posts and I know that you’re strong and you’re going to get over it. I wholeheartedly wish you all the best. Really. I know you are a nice guy.

At no time did I say that I can't get a job because of my traumas, because I already had other jobs even with my traumas. What I said is that I focused more on curing my traumas, precisely because I was tired of being a victim, because I was tired of reliving everything I went through, because I was tired of everything that caused me.
 
afl666 said:
Aquarius said:
You're playing victim at this point. Yes, life is hard, I'm discovering that too in these last few months. Having trauma doesn't mean you can't get jobs meanwhile.
Click to expand...



In fact, I'm tired of everything, the memories of what I went through and even being a victim. Life is not easy and I know it well.

I'm sorry that you're having a hard time; but I read a lot of your posts and I know that you’re strong and you’re going to get over it. I wholeheartedly wish you all the best. Really. I know you are a nice guy.

At no time did I say that I can't get a job because of my traumas, because I already had other jobs even with my traumas. What I said is that I focused more on curing my traumas, precisely because I was tired of being a victim, because I was tired of reliving everything I went through, because I was tired of everything that caused me.
Click to expand...
I understand what you mean, but you can't expect to advance in an area of life in which you're not putting effort to advance in, and the Gods aren't wish granting geniuses and you shouldn't rely on the "experiences" of some people but rather your own, because expecting that the Gods will act in a certain way will just create dissapointments, that's why I always take any experience anybody has with a grain of salt. I know the Gods are guiding me toward a great future, but that's guidance, I HAVE to do the hard work just like anybody else has to do it.

What I'm trying to say is that your expectations of what the Gods do and don't do based on "experiences" you read by others will just create infinite dissapointments, so instead of relying on others create a relationship with the Gods that is honest and you will understand more of their ways.
 
Aquarius said:
afl666 said:
Aquarius said:
You're playing victim at this point. Yes, life is hard, I'm discovering that too in these last few months. Having trauma doesn't mean you can't get jobs meanwhile.
Click to expand...



In fact, I'm tired of everything, the memories of what I went through and even being a victim. Life is not easy and I know it well.

I'm sorry that you're having a hard time; but I read a lot of your posts and I know that you’re strong and you’re going to get over it. I wholeheartedly wish you all the best. Really. I know you are a nice guy.

At no time did I say that I can't get a job because of my traumas, because I already had other jobs even with my traumas. What I said is that I focused more on curing my traumas, precisely because I was tired of being a victim, because I was tired of reliving everything I went through, because I was tired of everything that caused me.
Click to expand...
I understand what you mean, but you can't expect to advance in an area of life in which you're not putting effort to advance in, and the Gods aren't wish granting geniuses and you shouldn't rely on the "experiences" of some people but rather your own, because expecting that the Gods will act in a certain way will just create dissapointments, that's why I always take any experience anybody has with a grain of salt. I know the Gods are guiding me toward a great future, but that's guidance, I HAVE to do the hard work just like anybody else has to do it.

What I'm trying to say is that your expectations of what the Gods do and don't do based on "experiences" you read by others will just create infinite dissapointments, so instead of relying on others create a relationship with the Gods that is honest and you will understand more of their ways.
Click to expand...


Thank you for the words.

I understood what you said and that is exactly what happened. I created many expectations and was disappointed with the Gods.

I am very unmotivated with everything, I feel that the cleanings, AoP, meditations, rituals, spells that I did were in vain. That I believed, had faith and that it was all in vain.

I lost the will, the motivation. You see, I'm not blaming anyone, it's just how I'm feeling.
 
afl666 said:
Aquarius said:
afl666 said:
In fact, I'm tired of everything, the memories of what I went through and even being a victim. Life is not easy and I know it well.

I'm sorry that you're having a hard time; but I read a lot of your posts and I know that you’re strong and you’re going to get over it. I wholeheartedly wish you all the best. Really. I know you are a nice guy.

At no time did I say that I can't get a job because of my traumas, because I already had other jobs even with my traumas. What I said is that I focused more on curing my traumas, precisely because I was tired of being a victim, because I was tired of reliving everything I went through, because I was tired of everything that caused me.
Click to expand...
I understand what you mean, but you can't expect to advance in an area of life in which you're not putting effort to advance in, and the Gods aren't wish granting geniuses and you shouldn't rely on the "experiences" of some people but rather your own, because expecting that the Gods will act in a certain way will just create dissapointments, that's why I always take any experience anybody has with a grain of salt. I know the Gods are guiding me toward a great future, but that's guidance, I HAVE to do the hard work just like anybody else has to do it.

What I'm trying to say is that your expectations of what the Gods do and don't do based on "experiences" you read by others will just create infinite dissapointments, so instead of relying on others create a relationship with the Gods that is honest and you will understand more of their ways.
Click to expand...


Thank you for the words.

I understood what you said and that is exactly what happened. I created many expectations and was disappointed with the Gods.

I am very unmotivated with everything, I feel that the cleanings, AoP, meditations, rituals, spells that I did were in vain. That I believed, had faith and that it was all in vain.

I lost the will, the motivation. You see, I'm not blaming anyone, it's just how I'm feeling.
Click to expand...
These last few days I was like that too. If you don't keep up your aura of protection that's what's gonna happen. Good luck
 
Aquarius said:
afl666 said:
Aquarius said:
I understand what you mean, but you can't expect to advance in an area of life in which you're not putting effort to advance in, and the Gods aren't wish granting geniuses and you shouldn't rely on the "experiences" of some people but rather your own, because expecting that the Gods will act in a certain way will just create dissapointments, that's why I always take any experience anybody has with a grain of salt. I know the Gods are guiding me toward a great future, but that's guidance, I HAVE to do the hard work just like anybody else has to do it.

What I'm trying to say is that your expectations of what the Gods do and don't do based on "experiences" you read by others will just create infinite dissapointments, so instead of relying on others create a relationship with the Gods that is honest and you will understand more of their ways.
Click to expand...


Thank you for the words.

I understood what you said and that is exactly what happened. I created many expectations and was disappointed with the Gods.

I am very unmotivated with everything, I feel that the cleanings, AoP, meditations, rituals, spells that I did were in vain. That I believed, had faith and that it was all in vain.

I lost the will, the motivation. You see, I'm not blaming anyone, it's just how I'm feeling.
Click to expand...
These last few days I was like that too. If you don't keep up your aura of protection that's what's gonna happen. Good luck
Click to expand...


Thanks :)
 
afl666 said:
----
Click to expand...

Trauma attaches to the soul and chakras as negative links through the astral. They are very real 'physical' things that are 'tangible' on the astral. A trauma or phobia is like a twisted corrupting thoughtform that clings to you. They can be destroyed and removed, enabling your ability to cope much better in general or even remove the negative feelings from it completely, from there it's all mental discipline and void meditation for further detachment and disassociation.

I've had debilitating phobias in my past that I have successfully gotten rid of just as proof that it can be done. One was very sudden just 5 weeks ago actually when I had accidentally cut a live-wire at work in a tired state, resulting in an explosion. This was very recent and I was suddenly deathly terrified of all forms of electrical outputs. Wires, outlets, I was suddenly insanely and unhealthily aware of all the wires and electricity surrounding me and running throughout the entire house I reside in. Couldn't sleep because I was worried the outlets would start spewing sparks or touching the metal frame of my bed would somehow transfer electricity from the house through it to shock me to death.

Phobias and traumas can be odd, strange and weird, but no matter what kind they are they are all the same on the astral and can be removed. As soon as I had recognized that the fears I was dealing with was a phobia resulting from that event trauma, I immediately and intensely started to deconstruct, tear apart and destroy it on the astral, detaching it from myself completely and pulverizing it with my own methods that I deemed most effective for me personally. I no longer have any such fears of electricity and even freely took apart some personally owned electronics the other day for cleaning. Depending on how bad the trauma or phobia is it could take many sessions of this sort of effort to totally destroy and rid yourself of a phobia, but it can be done and you have to really mean and want it to be destroyed and removed.

Additionally one might suggest seeking a counselor or just someone in general for you to talk to. Venting it off physically is kind of like sending off the energy of it on the astral and just 'getting it out of you' in a sense which will additionally alleviate, weaken the trauma link or help with the detachment process of the trauma/phobia. But perhaps this depends on the person and what helps them best. Do what is comfortable for you but to destroy a fear or trauma you must face it first. Can't fight your enemy if you're not looking at them, right?

Won't be able to punch their face in if you can't see them.
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
afl666 said:
----
Click to expand...

Trauma attaches to the soul and chakras as negative links through the astral. They are very real 'physical' things that are 'tangible' on the astral. A trauma or phobia is like a twisted corrupting thoughtform that clings to you. They can be destroyed and removed, enabling your ability to cope much better in general or even remove the negative feelings from it completely, from there it's all mental discipline and void meditation for further detachment and disassociation.

I've had debilitating phobias in my past that I have successfully gotten rid of just as proof that it can be done. One was very sudden just 5 weeks ago actually when I had accidentally cut a live-wire at work in a tired state, resulting in an explosion. This was very recent and I was suddenly deathly terrified of all forms of electrical outputs. Wires, outlets, I was suddenly insanely and unhealthily aware of all the wires and electricity surrounding me and running throughout the entire house I reside in. Couldn't sleep because I was worried the outlets would start spewing sparks or touching the metal frame of my bed would somehow transfer electricity from the house through it to shock me to death.

Phobias and traumas can be odd, strange and weird, but no matter what kind they are they are all the same on the astral and can be removed. As soon as I had recognized that the fears I was dealing with was a phobia resulting from that event trauma, I immediately and intensely started to deconstruct, tear apart and destroy it on the astral, detaching it from myself completely and pulverizing it with my own methods that I deemed most effective for me personally. I no longer have any such fears of electricity and even freely took apart some personally owned electronics the other day for cleaning. Depending on how bad the trauma or phobia is it could take many sessions of this sort of effort to totally destroy and rid yourself of a phobia, but it can be done and you have to really mean and want it to be destroyed and removed.

Additionally one might suggest seeking a counselor or just someone in general for you to talk to. Venting it off physically is kind of like sending off the energy of it on the astral and just 'getting it out of you' in a sense which will additionally alleviate, weaken the trauma link or help with the detachment process of the trauma/phobia. But perhaps this depends on the person and what helps them best. Do what is comfortable for you but to destroy a fear or trauma you must face it first. Can't fight your enemy if you're not looking at them, right?

Won't be able to punch their face in if you can't see them.
Click to expand...


Thank you for sharing your experience.

This question of being able to vent about the trauma really helps a lot.

I kept all this for many years, but after I said everything that happened, I really felt lighter; especially after I posted on the Forum, because I was able to let off steam without having to worry about being a judge; since nobody knows me personally, nobody can see me.

All of you do not have the notion of how it helped me to be able to talk about all of this here in the Forum, and even more so the messages that everyone posted to help and guide.

I just have to thank you all.

Thanks
 
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Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

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