I have seen something terrible I have stopped doing all meditations. I am scared, I did a mudra that raja choudhray explained that stops anxiety, but this bothers me so much that I can't even not have anxiety. I am in pain moaning and groaning from nausea for about 2 weeks. I wake up freak out almost instantly. I just feel like I'm going to die. the only thing that keeps me normal is a beer all of the time, and I cry. Why do the gods come to me at the most unnecessary times and call on me to make a comment. But when I need help I am groaning for basically, two weeks and don't get the help I need. It starts to make me upset. Please help me everyone, I cannot do this alone. Obviously I am too scarred and anxious to go to the doctor. The information I need is an occult mind wipe which is stated under the witchcraft title on our joy of satan site in the second paragraph https://www.joyofsatan.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Witchcraft.html.