Hello brothers and sisters,

I have had quite some trouble meditating and focusing on spiritual Satanism/personal growth.
Some of you might remember me because i was active half a year ago but since then things went downhill, I did manage to do the base meditations every single day, Even tough it was extremely hard at times.

Dont get me wrong i did grow but at a slow pace. I have been wondering why it has been so hard to keep meditating and growing, At first i tought that it was because i have had some mental isseu's (nothing mayor). Ofcourse this makes things harder but how could it affect me this badly? Recently i came to a realisation that i live in a ''Jew Nest'' there are a lot of jews where i live, This became even more obvious when i went out to dinner at xmas and about 40-50% of the ppl there were jewish.

I dont know if it is harder for me to do meditations because of the high amount of jews, Or because i somehow do something wrong when doing meditations that makes me not want to meditate at all. And i know about curses and entity's or even toughtforms that work against me, But i feel like there is something else that works against me. The feeling i get is about the same feeling of not wanting to do something or wanting to do something else but on almost an extreem lvl, if i try to supress this feeling it will become worse and worse (this will go on for months on end) up to a point where it almost feels like im falling in some sort of depression. Thats the best i can describe it even tough its not exactly like that.

I have been cleaning my aura every day and for a while i also did return curses but this seemed to worses things (The feelings would go away only to come back a little bit later hitting me with everything it got). I am not sure if i did other meditations to combat this.

Right now i am getting somewhat irritated at myself for not doing what i am supposed to do, Meditating, growing, Fighting the enemy, Helping my brother and sisters, Helping father Satan and the gods, etc. I need some help here because i hate myself for not doing anything, Riding on the goodness of father and the gods while i dont give anything in return is not something im like to do and try to avoid as much as i can.

There is plenty more i want to say and ask but i wont make it more painfull to read as is because i know everyone has more things to do, Are there any tips you guys can give me or any meditations that can help me in this situation. If you guys want more information i'll gladly tell you everything you want to know.

Thank you guys for your time and help,

Hail Satan.

Cro666 said:

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You're not doing enough foundation meditation or anything to raise your energy levels. This is a common mistake a lot of members make when trying to advance. They forget the improtance of the levels of biolelectricity in their body and their energy. All they do is focus on spending it, spending it, using it and using it and this just serves to burn them out and not only make them apathetic, sluggish and lazy but also depressed. The foundation meditation should be the primary meditation you focus on for the first long while if trying to advance, it should be the one you spend more time doing than all of your other meditations combined.

When you start trying to advance you start off at a very low spiritual power level and your energy is just... well practically not there for everything else. The first large portion of your advancement should be focusing on raising your natural energy as much as you can. When you wake to start your day or when you're going to start meditating, start by cleaning your soul first. Negative energy in the soul makes it hard for positive energy to flow through as it acts like tar that the positive energy has to try and force through, and it can exhaust you with little to no results for all your efforts, so clean your soul first. Just visualize for several minutes yourself engulfed in a powerful white-gold energy flame that has consumed your soul and cleansing it, burning away all of the negative energy, actually imagine and visualize with focus and intent the grey/black energy burning up into nothing and being replaced with white-gold energy.

Keep doing this for your whole aura and soul until you feel satisfied that you are clean enough. Then go ahead with the foundation meditation. Just focus on breathing in energy, visualize or feel the positive and empowering energy entering your whole body and soul from every square inch, then as you breathe out, compress this energy into your body/soul and pack it in, keep it in there. Then breathe in, visualize or feel the energy again surrounding you and entering into you, it is white-gold in colour, then breathe out and build up another layer of this energy packed into your soul, allow it to and feel it empowering you, your soul glowing brighter and more vibrant and powerful with each exhale of energy that you build up, visualize your whole body/soul glowing a vibrant white-gold all over.

Make this your primary meditation along with the RTR, but do this first and then the RTR, then after the RTR you can casually breathe in energy again to try and refuel yourself a bit more before going on to your other meditations. You can listen to music through out all of this or move around while doing it if this helps you focus, just make sure it won't distract you. If you are struggling to focus and meditate with music or if sitting still works best for you, then do what helps you, everyone is individual.

For the next few weeks, focus primarily on just the cleaning, foundation meditation and the RTR, everything else is secondary and minor until you sufficiently increase your natural energy levels a bit more. You'll find in time be a week, a month or two months that you will start finding the motivation to meditate and the energy to do it, especially if you incorporate vibrating the SOWILO rune several times into yourself every day as this rune incites motion and action, it is the rune of triumph and it is very positive and empowering.

Cro666 said:

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What you need is a good, deep cleaning, and a strong protection. Toss away any other bullshit you have in your routine right now, aside from the essentials of course. Yoga, VM, AC, AoP, and so on, these are all the basics that you need to do no matter what. But if you have anything aside from these, like specific workings to attain stuff that isn't vitally important, then throw those fuckers out of the window. What you need is cleaning. You need to clean yourself deeply every day. Don't waste your time trying to fly if you still have to properly learn how to walk.

Every day, for 10, 20, 30 minutes or even more, just sit down (or lie down) and vibrate RAUM. If possible, you can make yourself a Satanic Rosary with 108 beads, and recite it either once for 108 times, or turn it after the first cycle and recite it again to make 216 times.
If you have no rosary (making one is very cheap and easy with plastic beads), and have trouble keeping exact count, then even just vibrating it for 30 minutes each day without counting, will still have great effect. Raum is a pure cleaning mantra so even if you are new you can vibrate it for a high number of reps just fine.
When you are done vibrating, state an affirmation for 8, 16, or 18 times. Something like "In a positive way for me, the sun energies are fully cleaning my entire soul on every level".

On top of this, if you feel that your AoP is not strong enough, then add more Surya vibrations before you do the Returning Curses every day. Add as many as necessary, preferably something like 111, or if you cant do that much yet, something like 36 or 88.

Keep doing those two things every day no matter what. It may be hard for the first couple days, but after this you will start feeling immensely better in every way. I wasted the first 2 years after dedicating because nobody told stupid old me that I had to focus on cleaning.

Thank you both for your answers, I am always amazed at how there are always people here to help you with what ever problems you are facing, I really apreciate it so thank you once again.

Its ironic to me that you guys tell me that i should work more on the basics, Especialy because i always believed that i should focus on the basics at all times. Even tough i believed i should work on the basics..... I let the basics slip away from me. Like i only did the foundation meditation in the beginning and after that i never did it again for some reason, And while i do clean my aura every single day its only since a couple of days that i use the Raum rune, At moments i even didnt do voidmeditation on a daily basis.

Since i have been having problems with meditating for so long, I am somewhat scared to spend to much time meditating. So for the next couple of weeks i will slowly get myself into it again, I will do the basic meditations every day ofcourse, yoga i will do every odd day, I will do the foundation meditation at least every morning, I will spend 10 - 20 minutes vibrating the raum rune. But besides that i will not do anything else for now, So even the RTR's i will postpone for now.

Quick question, I have been doing aura cleaning once a day for a while i always do it in the evening before sleep. Is it enough to do it once a day or is it important do it twice a day...

Thank you for you time and help,

Hail Satan!
Hail the gods of hell!
Hail my brothers and sister!

Cro666 said:

But besides that i will not do anything else for now, So even the RTR's i will postpone for now.

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Do not skip on the RTRs, ever. The RTR is more important than anything else. If you want to go low, then just one rep is still better than nothing. If you are very low on time, you can even just do each letter once. But don't just skip it completely. Doing it frees the soul immensely and will also grant you protection from the Gods. Protection that you vitally need right now.

Cro666 said:

Quick question, I have been doing aura cleaning once a day for a while i always do it in the evening before sleep. Is it enough to do it once a day or is it important do it twice a day...

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Twice a day is important. Once after waking up, once before going to sleep. This is to remove any dirt/thoughtforms/general-negative-energies that may have accumulated throughout the night or day.

Good luck.