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Being a Berserker

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Where can I find more information on this 'berserker' thing or if anybody knows some more information regarding it what can you tell me about it?

This happens almost every time the enemy attacks me. Just moments ago a grey decided to come to me and try to instill suicidal urges in me. Almost the very second I felt the attack I went absolutely maddened in a gleeful fit of 'happy' rage on the fucker, baring my teeth and slashing at it with 'blue fire claws' like some frenzied beast, I go absolutely crazy and out of control taking on this primal persona every time a fight presents itself to me like this, there is SO much explosive energy coming from me during these bouts. If you saw me I'd look like I was mentally insane... I would also be embarrassed too once I calmed down if you were to witness it. It was about 5 minutes or so of this before the bug-eyed bastard finally fled and I felt fine again, to which I quickly cleaned my aura and built upon my aura of protection.

I'm okay now but the attention of it obviously came from doing the protection and wealth rituals for the JoS which I had finished not too long ago. I want to know what this berserker thing is and what it means. I read somewhere that Andras who is my guardian demon has some sort of involvement with it as well and the only information I could find about it online brought me to something about vikings that would enter a trance-like fury in battle. I haven't ever found anything about it on our website or in our library.
 
Is there really like an official name for this state? To me it sounds very much like an episode of intense, adrenaline-fueled rage brought on by the presence of a threat and your own hatred and indignation at the enemy's attempts to fuck with you. A very normal and even necessary thing, to be sure, I just don't know if it has an official name beyond how you described it, like being a berserker.

I haven't done it on a spiritual level as described here but I do have experience with it physically, where intense rage combined with a sense of being wronged/attacked to send me into a vicious, albeit controlled state of fury. I was overcome with a physical rush of adrenaline and this powerful urge to ruthlessly wound the person who caused this, to the point I was trembling uncontrollably and had difficulty keeping my voice level. Unbeknownst to me, a friend actually saw me from a distance as I was in public, and according to her I had this look of pure rage on my face and it was glaringly obvious. I similarly also get embarrassed after times that I get like this; surprised and at times unsettled by the intensity of these thoughts and how excessively vicious I become. I just try to remind myself then that such rage can be a powerful tool when directed at those who deserve such animosity.
 
Both of you were soldiers in past lives, so you needed to be able to be like that. It probably saved your lives before. Makes you stronger, faster, more alert, and more controlled than your enemy was.
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
This stuff usually comes from past life things. I don't think you just have this stuff "randomly", but rather perhaps you may have had experiences in your past lives where you cultivated this. Also, it should be easy to find some planets in your chart that indicate this. Retrograde Pluto is one very common thing that can give intensity like this. Maybe also look at your Mars as it may play into it as well.

If you do have a retrograde Pluto, be aware that those moments of intensity can be taxing on your health. It's important to find balance with these things and to be a bit gentle to your body sometimes, especially if you do experience health problems from time to time.
 
I remember it was actually once said on here that a berserker was actually in a trance-like state with full focus, not out of control at all. So what you're experiencing I don't think it has anything to do with it.
 
it seems like something you need to work on, out of control emotions are a sign of an out of control mind.
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Control.html
 
Powstanie Pogańskie said:
Is there really like an official name for this state? To me it sounds very much like an episode of intense, adrenaline-fueled rage brought on by the presence of a threat and your own hatred and indignation at the enemy's attempts to fuck with you. A very normal and even necessary thing, to be sure, I just don't know if it has an official name beyond how you described it, like being a berserker.

I haven't done it on a spiritual level as described here but I do have experience with it physically, where intense rage combined with a sense of being wronged/attacked to send me into a vicious, albeit controlled state of fury. I was overcome with a physical rush of adrenaline and this powerful urge to ruthlessly wound the person who caused this, to the point I was trembling uncontrollably and had difficulty keeping my voice level. Unbeknownst to me, a friend actually saw me from a distance as I was in public, and according to her I had this look of pure rage on my face and it was glaringly obvious. I similarly also get embarrassed after times that I get like this; surprised and at times unsettled by the intensity of these thoughts and how excessively vicious I become. I just try to remind myself then that such rage can be a powerful tool when directed at those who deserve such animosity.

It seems to be some kind of energy state of it's own but I'm not sure if it has an official name but the closest thing I can come to it is a berserker. It's some kind of uncontrollable or violent energy, it's part of the reason why Andras is so dangerous and terrifying to the enemy. When you're in this 'berserker' mode there is no fear at all, no solid concept of self-preservation just a focused violent and animalistic intensity; pure unbridled offense.

I'm not actually mad when I'm like this at all, I only used the word rage to describe it's intensity. There is no anger, in fact it's an extremely blissful state of sheer excitement, delight and glee to bring as much unrestrained harm and damage to the hostile(s) as possible. It's very explosive but also very draining if I don't quickly refuel my energy both during and after the state; RAUM has proven very useful coupled with foundation. I just know that it's not possible for me to be the only one who gets like this, there must be others. I would just like to know more about it, where it comes from and why it happens to me. I don't know if it's something individual or if it's because of my guardian demon.
 
Ol argedco luciftias said:
Both of you were soldiers in past lives, so you needed to be able to be like that. It probably saved your lives before. Makes you stronger, faster, more alert, and more controlled than your enemy was.

Shael said:
Ghost in the Machine said:
This stuff usually comes from past life things. I don't think you just have this stuff "randomly", but rather perhaps you may have had experiences in your past lives where you cultivated this. Also, it should be easy to find some planets in your chart that indicate this. Retrograde Pluto is one very common thing that can give intensity like this. Maybe also look at your Mars as it may play into it as well.

If you do have a retrograde Pluto, be aware that those moments of intensity can be taxing on your health. It's important to find balance with these things and to be a bit gentle to your body sometimes, especially if you do experience health problems from time to time.

Funny you mention this.

It was revealed to me both through meditation of past-life regression, dreams and directed guidance that in a past-life I was one of the pagan knights in the Knights Templar, this was one of the most prominent lifetimes for me as it's the one that crops up as the most influential in this lifetime, explaining my obsession and drawing towards knights and the medieval era, even my name. It's also probably where my involvement with Satan came from and how I ended up finding the JoS.

But I haven't happened upon a memory yet of doing anything like this berserker thing during that lifetime, but I have a gut-feeling it may have happened. Such memories are still very weird feeling to me, it honestly feels like it wasn't that long ago that I was wearing armour and standing at my post at some hillside. I am curious now though and may try and go back to see if this was something that I did then, I'm just not really wanting to see myself killing someone, everything was horrible in that age.
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
I don't know if it's something individual or if it's because of my guardian demon.
I don’t think I’ve felt that unless I’ve been extremely angry, but even then there’s an element of control. A lot of times I feel like I feel everything more intensely and wish I could go berserk. This happens a lot and I’ll have bursts of strong emotion. I enjoy arts and will vent it there. Like I go into a trance and it all pours out, but it’s not as you described of like pure madness. More just like real intense feelings, but they seem controlled to an extent. Idk. Or organized to a degree if that makes sense. Like organized chaos. Like all these emotions are flooding out of me, but they’re flooding out single file and in order and I’m grateful for that. I only really go to this place of severe intense emotions while being creative. When I’m just in life I can’t. I’m like totally straight and even most times. But then it bottles up and it’s like all the control I thought I had goes away and I question if I ever even did have control, but I DO have it. If I didn’t then I’d probably be dead or on drugs. Cause it’s strong energy. But this is revealed in my chart. I imagine it’s in your chart as well. You said once that you have much fire. Perhaps balance with other elements if it’s a problem.

Overall, I’m very strong and when things piss me off, I have a way of leveling my head and staying focused. A lot of it is just deep breaths and taking a moment alone to collect myself and then soldiering on. And I do get very angry and distraught, but I can’t let it take me down. I can’t lose too much control cause there’s too much at stake. My life, our cause, those close to me. Too much for me to fall apart. There’s pressure of course, but I’m a soldier. What would I do if it was just calm? I can handle it. But even a soldier needs a break sometime I must say. And that’s okay. Hobbies help.
 
When i am angry my phisic force improve 25% and i no feel fear of anything too_O think what could to be the kundalini energy or very bioeletricity.But i always control my energy and my emotions and all right.And work in your third eye help you to control your energy and your emotions easily.
 
When i am angry my phisic force improve 25% and i no feel fear of anything too_O think what could to be the kundalini energy or very bioeletricity.But i always control my energy and my emotions and all right.And work in your third eye help you to control your energy and your emotions easily.
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
This happens almost every time the enemy attacks me. Just moments ago a grey decided to come to me and try to instill suicidal urges in me. Almost the very second I felt the attack I went absolutely maddened in a gleeful fit of 'happy' rage on the fucker, baring my teeth and slashing at it with 'blue fire claws' like some frenzied beast, I go absolutely crazy and out of control taking on this primal persona every time a fight presents itself to me like this, there is SO much explosive energy coming from me during these bouts. If you saw me I'd look like I was mentally insane... I would also be embarrassed too once I calmed down if you were to witness it. It was about 5 minutes or so of this before the bug-eyed bastard finally fled and I felt fine again, to which I quickly cleaned my aura and built upon my aura of protection.

So in other words, you got so pissed you blacked out?
 
Okay, I guess I have that too, before it was much worser. I have that huge problem with sudden explosions of rage, it's combination of suppressing some of my emotions too often and then some traumas, dirt would make me too emotional... but I noticed also enemy can use this. They often when notice me angry they push me over the edge and I really feel the same way you described. I lose myself, I feel some bestial energy in me, I can't think straight, I just feel untethered rage twisting my sanity. I become so violent and destructive that people who were close to me are proclaimed me crazy after it and are afraid of me. I would try to hurt them, sometimes I would even manage to really physicaly damage them and I often would demolish my room or part of apartment in my abnormal anger. I have visons of some really morbid stuff and I feel really angry to the point I really look insane and I act like that. Enemy would put lot of dirt in me so I can act even worser. Sometimes I just push part of my soul out of my body and commit a bloodshed on the astral when I notice them near me since I can see them and feel them most of the time anyways tho some of them are too nasty so my Guardians sometimes come to help me. What is interesting is that one of my Guardians is also Andras. I have really weird combination of Guardians but they all almost are skilled in combat and warfare, so I should learn a lot from them if I want go advance.
I'm much better at channelling my anger lately. I noticed changes as I really listened to my Guardians and worked on myself. Enemy can't control me as before. I could have ended up in jail dude, it was that bad, I'm glad I learned how to chanel this properly now. Gah. Such a things can destroy your life... Control is so important :I

I know Andras said to me how emotions are power, accept that as your strength, not as your weakness. Accept them and try to see always why they arose in you, so you can figure out how to use them for your advantage as much as you can. If enemy can play with you so easily then you have an issue. When you are angry that also means you are vulnerable, cause pain is leading to intense anger, so your anger also means you are bleeding somewhere already or you are weak in some way. You are exposing your weakness too easily when angry, and considering your focus is on the enemy it's easy to forget about yourself and your position. Once you learn more about yourself and when you know what and how made you angry, you can control your anger and use it as source of your power. I can talk a lot more on a given subject but I will finish it now..Given that Andras is your Guardian your path is path of a warrior most likely. Make sure you listen to him and learn from him.
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
I'm just not really wanting to see myself killing someone, everything was horrible in that age.
Oh yes, I feel you lol. I have had an entire lifetime with huge focus on black magick and killing people. It was during the middle ages and man, those were sad times. If nothing else I atleast learned some lessons now on how stupid it is to kill people over small things, even if they're jews or shitty xians like they were in my past life. It's just way too much of a waste of time, and some people may still change (except jews ofc).

My subconscious still to this day is traumatically afraid of killing any non-jews, simply because of what happened back then. And I'm very glad it is, because if it wasn't I would have likely deathspelled or atleast severely harmed a bunch of people in the past, when I was still immature.
 
Ghost in the Machine said:
Where can I find more information on this 'berserker' thing or if anybody knows some more information regarding it what can you tell me about it?

This happens almost every time the enemy attacks me. Just moments ago a grey decided to come to me and try to instill suicidal urges in me. Almost the very second I felt the attack I went absolutely maddened in a gleeful fit of 'happy' rage on the fucker, baring my teeth and slashing at it with 'blue fire claws' like some frenzied beast, I go absolutely crazy and out of control taking on this primal persona every time a fight presents itself to me like this, there is SO much explosive energy coming from me during these bouts. If you saw me I'd look like I was mentally insane... I would also be embarrassed too once I calmed down if you were to witness it. It was about 5 minutes or so of this before the bug-eyed bastard finally fled and I felt fine again, to which I quickly cleaned my aura and built upon my aura of protection.

I'm okay now but the attention of it obviously came from doing the protection and wealth rituals for the JoS which I had finished not too long ago. I want to know what this berserker thing is and what it means. I read somewhere that Andras who is my guardian demon has some sort of involvement with it as well and the only information I could find about it online brought me to something about vikings that would enter a trance-like fury in battle. I haven't ever found anything about it on our website or in our library.

Youre talking about very powerful people getting mad. The symptoms you describe of being angry is shared by most people. Just having rage wont get you anywhere. Look to your mars. Mars begins to mature between ages 28-32. At which point it becomes of alot more use.

I use to have a nasty Anger. Now I feel it flare. I look down for a second and try to calm. Then realize ok, its okay. Then things work out right.

Even in cases of self defense, I would rather have control, then rage. So while anger can be addictive and feel powerful, its inflated hot air. Well especially in my case it would try to go 150 percent all the time.

But mars is the young warrior who becomes the learned veteran. This will be much better for you later. I notice I can come off mean without trying but im calm, versus before try to destroy everything in sight.

Ive been around some younger ones with my mars. I step back like oh yeah I remember this. Woah dodge incoming objects. Im like yeah this is very immature from my standpoint now.

We all grow into our charts. You dont get all the goods till youre like 40. So I am always excited to get older. The amount of years having meditated. Retrogrades get set off.

I mean look at Hitler. 25 year old versus 56 year old Hitler. I ofcourse plan to be as sexy as he was. Then the Gods will be here, we will have magnum opus.

Everything is going so perfectly. While most mundanes fear the future, I love it.
 
I don't think you guys quite understand that this isn't your typical pissed-off state or episode of anger because believe me I know that inside and out, this is something else entirely, the energy is far more unique and I don't quite understand it. Like I said I'm not actually angry in this state, it's hard to explain. I thought there might've been at least one person that understood, because like I said I highly doubt I'm alone in this and I thought there'd be far more people who understood what I was talking about. I'm honestly surprised that so far nobody here yet who has posted seems to get what I'm describing at all.

You act like something else entirely in this state, something not really human (of course I'm human though, don't mistake me for those cringey otherkins we've had here, I'm just describing the state), something more animalistic, like really animalistic I'm talking like a rabid wolf or something that's just completely bent on destroying in the most brutal fashion. It's very bestial and not unlike some kind of fictional werewolf going mad, that's the best I can describe it.

The energy is very different and is it's own separate thing because it's a completely different and foreign sensation than other energies I've felt and recognized. It's just a gleeful frenzy and now that I'm really thinking about it I've noticed and think that maybe it's important to note that my methods of attacking the enemy in this state are very specific. They seem to cater towards slashing, clawing, tearing, things to do with slicing and shredding with claws or nails, even the urge to bite and gnash with teeth; It's very primal. I wish there could be a HP/S or someone that might know more, even a little bit to help describe this, because it's something and is definitely it's own thing, I just don't yet know what.
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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