Slothz Tales Twlight Of The Lard Queen

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HP Mageson666
Posts: 2431

Slothz Tales Twlight Of The Lard Queen

Postby HP Mageson666 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 3:17 pm

Deep in the lair of the Lard Queen leader of the once ruling Party the KFC, the smell of grease filled the air as she sat in her titanium reinforced chair, rolls hanging off the sides in all directions. Painting with rage and shock as she read the latest reports of the elections in Deeuslandz...... She thought to herself as her sausage fist grasped tightly to the report..."How is dees possible! My Party lost sooo much powar!" Then as the crumbs of another deep fried chicken wing ran down her triplet of chins she read something that caused her to actually stop eating for a few seconds......"Nationalist Party won 88 seats in new Boodenstagel election".. Feeling deeply triggered by that number a great stress arose from within her lard and sent a shock wave that resembled a small bubblercane effect over the expanse of her wide girth.. As she was reeling from this triggering her minister of her limited intelligence agency came marching into the room and stood to attention in front of her empty fast food wrapper covered desk.

"Chancllair Fraulardcale, I am heer to repart on wut vou asaked!" He stated with the report held under his arm which the lard queen was eyeing with hungry lust as it reminder her of a chicken wing.

"Repart! Now!" The lard queen yelled in a hysterical rage as grease sweat ran down her brow.

The Minister of Limited Intelligence then spoke:
"Chancliar Fraulardcale das reason vour Party has lost so much powar has baan found outs to be......"

"Founds to beee what!" She yelled as the furiously chewed on a chicken wing.

The Minister looking uncomfortable at the repulsive sight of the lard queen then responded....
"A certain fourm posting Slothz who wrute an articale abuut vou on da internet!"

"I though I oudered dat internat shut down, Yah!" She screeched. "Uund wooot is a fooken Slothz!" She followed up with as her mouth was full of food.

The minister then pulled out the report from under his arm and read it...

"Heer is wot da Slothz wrote FrauLardacle:....

Rosez are redz, violets are bulez, Fraulardacle iz a stinky joo andz shees fats tooz."


"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH!!!" The Lard queen screeched as a loud farting noises emanated from deep within her lard and an even more obnoxious stench filled the air. "Dat Fooken Slothz! He costs us powar in das elections with das hateee speeechhhh! How dares He lies abut me I am nut fatz I am.....LARD BONEDET!" Just as she finished screaming a loud sound was heard as the velocity of her lard wave tantrum caused her titanium chair to collapse under the shock, causing Fraulardcale to hit the ground, shaking the celling. "Fook das und da second chair das week, herr minister pass und law against gravity for trying to und body shame me!"


"Fraulardacle dar is more....."He then read:
"Billy idolz is winz and jooz is lose."

Then Fraulardacle looked up in total shock with mouth gaping, yelled....

"I......I......HASSS BANNNED DAS NAME FURM EVER BEING SPOOKEN!"

As the lard queen flailed around on the floor trying unsuccessfully to sit up under the weight of her mountain of blubber. She then screamed "Herr minister arrests yourselves for das hatteee speech! Unds get the crane in here to lifts me backs ups Yah!".

"Dar uns another thing Fraulardalce". The Minster spoke.

"Wots" Fraulardcale replied

"Chancilair Fraulardcale, the Volk das dues not want das immigrants anymore".

"Wats muh chocolate muchkins! Das are the colors ov my favourite thing....das choclates! DASSS CHOCOLATES VOLK STAY!". The lard queen yelled as she tried to reach towards a bucket of chicken wings that littered the ground.

The Minster then spoke:

"Fraularde if das chocolate volk stay und have no more powar!"

Then the lard queen yelled:
"I haves powar! Und mine all mine is KFC das party I own!"

Then the minster feverously adjusted his tie and spoke

"Ummm Chaniclair Fraulardacle das party......ermmm haas made voted for a new leader und replace vou."

Fraulardcle look up shocked and angry:

"Unds is dis?"

The minster then replied.....

"Fraularde das have voted for......Billy Idol!"

With that the lard queen was triggered to the point her massive lard stared to emit its own gravity field and started pulling everything within its reach into its own rolls. Which caused a temporary black hole event that sucked up Fraulardalce into itself.

And that is the Slothz Tale of Twlight of the Lard Queen.

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WinterHearth666
Posts: 31

Re: Slothz Tales Twlight Of The Lard Queen

Postby WinterHearth666 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 5:57 pm

Wow , nice !

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AncientShadow666
Posts: 577
Location: Arierheim

Re: Slothz Tales Twlight Of The Lard Queen

Postby AncientShadow666 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 6:13 pm

AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHA XDDDD this is awsome :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
dancing little daemons all around
releasing their victory sound
lalala sieg heil, sieg heil
can't you see their smile?
dancing little daemons all around
their rythm is shaking the ground
lalala sieg heil, sieg heil
celebrating on the distant blue isle...

Eric13
Posts: 784

Re: Slothz Tales Twlight Of The Lard Queen

Postby Eric13 » Tue Sep 26, 2017 10:51 pm

To me, this was one of the best Slothz tales yet! So clever and the accent was brilliant too.

Very great! The chair broke and she called it fat shaming! Haha genius.

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Waric_Lyco
Posts: 10

Re: Slothz Tales Twlight Of The Lard Queen

Postby Waric_Lyco » Wed Sep 27, 2017 5:10 pm

Hahahaha! :lol: That was great! Needed that laugh.

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Edelwise
Posts: 129

Re: Slothz Tales Twlight Of The Lard Queen

Postby Edelwise » Wed Sep 27, 2017 9:31 pm

I'm finding this very easy to visualize.

Though I can't get Fraulardcale out of my head now. Ever since she got swolen by the black hole, she keeps appearing during void meditation... bummer.

Andevili
Posts: 24

Re: Slothz Tales Twlight Of The Lard Queen

Postby Andevili » Sat Sep 30, 2017 9:59 pm

Hp you really triggered all the lols in me. I kept on reading over and over again, trying to hard to stop myself from laughing and now the replay button on my lols is faulty and keeps selecting itself and stop button is dead. :lol:


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