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Urgent. Asked for a Succubus, but I wasn't ready for one.

Jigsaw_666

New member
Joined
Nov 24, 2017
Messages
16
I'm in an embarassing conundrum right now. It's very frustrating and the consequences and inplications of what I've done are honestly incredibly horrifying. I need your honest opinion about this, because I think I may have made the worst mistake of my life.

This occurred around a month ago, during a week long break from high school.
I had quite the emotional experience with a good friend of mine. I was in a very emotional headspace, and I just wanted my life to be better. I've been very lonely and isolated for most of my life, and it negatively affected my sexual desires so to speak, I would view very obscene forms of pornography, and have disturbing fantasies, and I developed very gross fetishes, but after becoming SS they diminished and now I haven't watched porn in a while, and now I am way more level headed so to speak.

But anyways, I decided one day for whatever reason to just do a ritual and ask Father Satan for a Succubus. And I did, and immediately afterwards I laid in bed and had an intense experience, if you know what I mean, and I heard voices speak to me. Then things escalated, as then I could actually see, hear and directly talk with what I thought was my Succubus.
Here's the thing you guys need to understand; I seem to be very grounded in the material, I currently am not open psychically. I haven't meditated consistently since last fucking year. So what sense does it make that all of a sudden I am so open spiritually that I can directly communicate and see a Demoness?
I eventually snapped out of it, and realized it was really just me pulling the strings, and it only got cemented with the fact that I asked it to knock something over to prove it is real, but it just floated there and did nothing.
I always knew what it was going to say. It always said what I wanted it to say. It never said something that I couldn't have known.
Whatever it is, I can summon it at will, so I know it is just my mind. It is laying beside me right now as I type, apologizing for causing me issue, as if it has a mind of its own.
Then, a few days later I get the chance to burn the paper I wrote my prayer on, and I do successfully burn it, and I had made it clear in the ritual that I had to burn it later when my parents weren't home.
I was very embarassed and humiliated after that. I was in a limbo in the days that followed. So I decided to ask Father Satan if I actaully have a Succubus or not, and for whatever reason-I'm not pointing fingers or blaming anyone or anything here- I get no reply. Maybe I did and I was being dumb and I missed it, I do not know. I was unable to ask a second time, and by then other things were going on.

Here is the main thing I am horrified about. What if, Satan decided that it was solely my responsibility to properly prepare for such a commitment, and decided to grant my wish, reasoning that I had made up my mind, and he was simply doing what I had asked him for. And I don't blame him for that if that is what has occurred. I shouldn't have been so impulsive. I KNEW that I had to be properly prepared, yet I did not think about my actions.

But it doesn't end there. I sort of let a little bit of my gross fetishes loose when I was fantasizing more or less about my Succubus, assuming I have one. It wasn't anything huge, but it gets to me. I am afraid that I have in some way insulted or hurt her during my time of delusion. And if I did hurt her, what if she is so upset that she refuses to interact with me, for DECADES? CENTURIES? I would be cursed to a lonely life, the very thing I sought to escape. I can't have other partners. So I would be alone and in pain, and I would spend the rest of my life trying to set things right, and forever battling with myself not to give in to temptation and make things worse. I would die a virgin.

But then there's the other side that I am HOPING is true;
What if Father Satan, knowing well that I am not ready for one, decided not to grant my request. What if he knew that I would change my mind, and decided to just set my request aside, knowing I would come to this exact realization I am having now? If my request is set in stone, then I am more than happy to be in a monogamous relationship with a Demoness. If things are actually different, and I can change or even cancel my request, then that is fine too.

And then, maybe I do have a Succubus, but I am actually just overthinking things, and she is doing just fine. If that is the case, then I will love and cherish her from now and for the rest of our eternal existence.
If she's out there, I want her to know I am so sorry. I'm sorry for my impulsive mistakes. I'm sorry for everything I have done wrong, and I want to do everything I can to set things right. If she's out there, then I want her to know that I love her.

But if things truly are in the worst case scenario I discussed earlier, then I am going to just keep moving forward, and I am going to do what is right, so that I may set things right, and fix my mistakes, and show her how truly sorry I am. I'm scared that it will take ages for her to forgive me, I guess is what I am saying. And it is not just about me, if this is the case, I would worry so much about her, if that makes sense.

And the other thing that makes me just scream on the inside;
I have no clue what is going on right now, I do not know which of these scenarios is reality. And I am scared that it might take a long while before I can more properly get an answer from Father Satan about what the situation is. And all of this prevents me from getting into relationships at the moment, as I DO NOT want to risk anything given I asked for monogamy, but I am paranoid I am going to miss my chance with someone and wind up alone, when all I was trying to do was be less lonely.

So I really need your honest opinion to ease my troubled mind. This at times robs me of my focus from important schoolwork. But just typing my feelings out is already helping me, actually.

Whatever is the case, I am going to do what is right, and what is best. I refuse to let my life end in tragedy. Even if my worst nightmares are realized, I have the rest of eternity to set things right.

What should I do?

-Jigsaw

Also, sincerest apologies if I said something disrespectful or wrong.
 
Jigsaw_666 said:
I'm in an embarassing conundrum right now. It's very frustrating and the consequences and inplications of what I've done are honestly incredibly horrifying. I need your honest opinion about this, because I think I may have made the worst mistake of my life.
You are fine. Calm down.

Jigsaw_666 said:
This occurred around a month ago, during a week long break from high school.
I had quite the emotional experience with a good friend of mine. I was in a very emotional headspace, and I just wanted my life to be better. I've been very lonely and isolated for most of my life, and it negatively affected my sexual desires so to speak, I would view very obscene forms of pornography, and have disturbing fantasies, and I developed very gross fetishes, but after becoming SS they diminished and now I haven't watched porn in a while, and now I am way more level headed so to speak.

But anyways, I decided one day for whatever reason to just do a ritual and ask Father Satan for a Succubus. And I did, and immediately afterwards I laid in bed and had an intense experience, if you know what I mean, and I heard voices speak to me. Then things escalated, as then I could actually see, hear and directly talk with what I thought was my Succubus.
Here's the thing you guys need to understand; I seem to be very grounded in the material, I currently am not open psychically. I haven't meditated consistently since last fucking year. So what sense does it make that all of a sudden I am so open spiritually that I can directly communicate and see a Demoness?
There is a limit to what can be seen and felt through imagination alone. It's possible you were psychically open in your past lives, and also perhaps that your Succubus (if you have one) has helped you to open your senses.
Aside from this, you should really meditate consistenly no matter what. Even if it's just as little as doing the AoP twice a day and some void meditation.

Jigsaw_666 said:
I eventually snapped out of it, and realized it was really just me pulling the strings, and it only got cemented with the fact that I asked it to knock something over to prove it is real, but it just floated there and did nothing.
In 99.99999% of cases, the Gods will not physically move objects for you to "prove" they are real. Again, there is a possibility for both sides here. You could be deluding yourself, but it could also all be real.

Jigsaw_666 said:
I always knew what it was going to say. It always said what I wanted it to say. It never said something that I couldn't have known.
Whatever it is, I can summon it at will, so I know it is just my mind. It is laying beside me right now as I type, apologizing for causing me issue, as if it has a mind of its own.
First of all, don't call her "it". Even if there is only a fraction of a chance that she is real, you should not address her like some personal property or object.

Jigsaw_666 said:
Then, a few days later I get the chance to burn the paper I wrote my prayer on, and I do successfully burn it, and I had made it clear in the ritual that I had to burn it later when my parents weren't home.
There is no problem with that.

Jigsaw_666 said:
I was very embarassed and humiliated after that. I was in a limbo in the days that followed. So I decided to ask Father Satan if I actaully have a Succubus or not, and for whatever reason-I'm not pointing fingers or blaming anyone or anything here- I get no reply. Maybe I did and I was being dumb and I missed it, I do not know. I was unable to ask a second time, and by then other things were going on.
In important matters like these, our minds often block astral communications because we are consciously (or unconsciously) afraid of hearing the answer. Void meditation is key here.

Jigsaw_666 said:
Here is the main thing I am horrified about. What if, Satan decided that it was solely my responsibility to properly prepare for such a commitment, and decided to grant my wish, reasoning that I had made up my mind, and he was simply doing what I had asked him for. And I don't blame him for that if that is what has occurred. I shouldn't have been so impulsive. I KNEW that I had to be properly prepared, yet I did not think about my actions.
This would never happen. Keep in mind that you are not the only one involved here. If you did get a Succubus, then she is a real being, too. And there is no way father Satan would send her to you just to "teach you a lesson".

Jigsaw_666 said:
But it doesn't end there. I sort of let a little bit of my gross fetishes loose when I was fantasizing more or less about my Succubus, assuming I have one. It wasn't anything huge, but it gets to me. I am afraid that I have in some way insulted or hurt her during my time of delusion. And if I did hurt her, what if she is so upset that she refuses to interact with me, for DECADES? CENTURIES? I would be cursed to a lonely life, the very thing I sought to escape. I can't have other partners. So I would be alone and in pain, and I would spend the rest of my life trying to set things right, and forever battling with myself not to give in to temptation and make things worse. I would die a virgin.
This is bullshit. You are just panicking. Either you have a Succubus and she will keep you company, or you don't have one and you will find a human partner.
As for your "fetishes", if it was "nothing huge", then there should not be an issue with it. I cannot say for sure what exactly you imagine under this term, but if your biggest concern would be that it may be "weird" in a way, then you should be okay. Just make sure you do not do anything that would be disrespectful. And if you did, apologize and don't do it again. It will be okay.

Jigsaw_666 said:
But then there's the other side that I am HOPING is true;
What if Father Satan, knowing well that I am not ready for one, decided not to grant my request. What if he knew that I would change my mind, and decided to just set my request aside, knowing I would come to this exact realization I am having now? If my request is set in stone, then I am more than happy to be in a monogamous relationship with a Demoness. If things are actually different, and I can change or even cancel my request, then that is fine too.
Do void meditation and clear your mind. Then ask father Satan for an answer again, and stay on the lookout for any signs.

Jigsaw_666 said:
And then, maybe I do have a Succubus, but I am actually just overthinking things, and she is doing just fine. If that is the case, then I will love and cherish her from now and for the rest of our eternal existence.
If she's out there, I want her to know I am so sorry. I'm sorry for my impulsive mistakes. I'm sorry for everything I have done wrong, and I want to do everything I can to set things right. If she's out there, then I want her to know that I love her.
Like I said above, clear your mind and ask Satan. You will find out the truth.

Jigsaw_666 said:
But if things truly are in the worst case scenario I discussed earlier, then I am going to just keep moving forward, and I am going to do what is right, so that I may set things right, and fix my mistakes, and show her how truly sorry I am. I'm scared that it will take ages for her to forgive me, I guess is what I am saying. And it is not just about me, if this is the case, I would worry so much about her, if that makes sense.
That "worst case scenario" you talked about is complete bullshit, so don't worry. This is not xianity. You wont be damned to loneliness and/or celibacy for your mistakes. Just own up to them and improve yourself.

Jigsaw_666 said:
And the other thing that makes me just scream on the inside;
I have no clue what is going on right now, I do not know which of these scenarios is reality. And I am scared that it might take a long while before I can more properly get an answer from Father Satan about what the situation is. And all of this prevents me from getting into relationships at the moment, as I DO NOT want to risk anything given I asked for monogamy, but I am paranoid I am going to miss my chance with someone and wind up alone, when all I was trying to do was be less lonely.
Do void meditation for as long as necessary. If you ask Him with a clear mind, you will receive your answer.

Jigsaw_666 said:
So I really need your honest opinion to ease my troubled mind. This at times robs me of my focus from important schoolwork. But just typing my feelings out is already helping me, actually.

Whatever is the case, I am going to do what is right, and what is best. I refuse to let my life end in tragedy. Even if my worst nightmares are realized, I have the rest of eternity to set things right.

What should I do?
Noone here can give you a definitive answer on what exactly your situation is. You will have to learn to control your mind and ask the Gods. Then you will receive your answer.
 
Read in here https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?f=3&t=18361&p=72887 somebody had a situation that I really really DON'T WANT IT TO HAPPEN TO YOU. The topic looks totally unrelated, but just scroll down you'll see what I'm talking about. You have to be very careful. This was likely just your own imagination. Some people had been so trapped and confused inside of their imaginary relationships, thoughtforms that they invented and charged up for a long time by thinking it's real, and they end up ruined and unfixable confused.
 
@Jigsaw

Let's say what occurred is not a thoughtform and it's real event. Did you consider asking for the perfect succubus but left the decision to be chosen completely by Satan. Also did you ask for a monogamous or open, polyamourous.

If you did it right you would have stated: Perfect sexual/love partner for me, open/polyamourous relationship and I leave everything up to you Satan to find the perfect one.Unless you wanted monogamous but sounds like your not that type of person.

As a simple request.

Other than that it's possible you got a clear sign from this. And like others have said they can assist in opening astral senses but to a degree at the end your the one that needs to work on it.
 
Also you won't be alone forever unless you really want to be. No matter what you think is wrong with you, there's women who are just as bad or worse. You can definitely find a match for you. I've seen some pretty discusting couples (not saying you'll be one of them!) where they're both gross people, but in an even way that makes them actually a great match. So it's not like you can really get stuck being alone unless you just don't try at all, or have unrealistic standards. I'm not saying I want you to be gross and in a gross relationship because I don't want that for you, just saying you won't really be alone.

Then if you want your match to be a better person, you work on yourself and make yourself a better person so that you deserve it and it's a realistic match. Go one by one fixing all the problems about yourself until you're closer to perfect, and you can get someone just as great as yourself. I'm pretty sure I know who you are from your previous accounts here, and you've definitely made such huge improvements already in that time since you seriously started working on yourself. There's nothing stopping you from continuing with the wins, becoming perfect (or close to it), and achieving whatever you want. :D
 
Gear88 said:
Unless you wanted monogamous but sounds like your not that type of person.
He asked for a monogamous Succubus, from what I understand.
Jigsaw_666 said:
And all of this prevents me from getting into relationships at the moment, as I DO NOT want to risk anything given I asked for monogamy
 
Stop worrying so much, it pays to keep tabs on this forum and read the other posts.

Of course you're not ready for one based on what I've read of your post, and Satan knows you inside and out, so you're not going to get one if you're not ready.

Getting into astral communication and interaction takes a certain degree of competence, like all things you cannot progress unless you've establish the proper foundations or else that progress would lead to ruin later down.
void meditation, control over your mind and the ability to deal with astral entities and spirits are things you should be competent in before you get into astral communication and interaction.
You're of course welcome to try either way, as 2 other SS started spazzing out when i warned someone that moving onto things when you're ill prepared can lead to problems and claimed that i was holding people back, yet the same guy they said was ready, made another post asking for help on a entity lol.

You most likely have a astral parasite or it's the enemy, threat it like any other unwanted entity and stop being so apologetic, know when you're being deceived.
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/Undesirable.html

Sexual energy is VERY potent, do not give this to these entities, they also feed of attention, get them out of your mind and do a banishing ritual.
if you keep giving them energy they'll use it make you paranoid and send you down a wild ride.

Read up on the other posts, i also suggest these:
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=75127
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=75331
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=18556
https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=19416
 
Shael said:
Jigsaw_666 said:
I'm in an embarassing conundrum right now. It's very frustrating and the consequences and inplications of what I've done are honestly incredibly horrifying. I need your honest opinion about this, because I think I may have made the worst mistake of my life.
You are fine. Calm down.

Jigsaw_666 said:
This occurred around a month ago, during a week long break from high school.
I had quite the emotional experience with a good friend of mine. I was in a very emotional headspace, and I just wanted my life to be better. I've been very lonely and isolated for most of my life, and it negatively affected my sexual desires so to speak, I would view very obscene forms of pornography, and have disturbing fantasies, and I developed very gross fetishes, but after becoming SS they diminished and now I haven't watched porn in a while, and now I am way more level headed so to speak.

But anyways, I decided one day for whatever reason to just do a ritual and ask Father Satan for a Succubus. And I did, and immediately afterwards I laid in bed and had an intense experience, if you know what I mean, and I heard voices speak to me. Then things escalated, as then I could actually see, hear and directly talk with what I thought was my Succubus.
Here's the thing you guys need to understand; I seem to be very grounded in the material, I currently am not open psychically. I haven't meditated consistently since last fucking year. So what sense does it make that all of a sudden I am so open spiritually that I can directly communicate and see a Demoness?
There is a limit to what can be seen and felt through imagination alone. It's possible you were psychically open in your past lives, and also perhaps that your Succubus (if you have one) has helped you to open your senses.
Aside from this, you should really meditate consistenly no matter what. Even if it's just as little as doing the AoP twice a day and some void meditation.

Jigsaw_666 said:
I eventually snapped out of it, and realized it was really just me pulling the strings, and it only got cemented with the fact that I asked it to knock something over to prove it is real, but it just floated there and did nothing.
In 99.99999% of cases, the Gods will not physically move objects for you to "prove" they are real. Again, there is a possibility for both sides here. You could be deluding yourself, but it could also all be real.

Jigsaw_666 said:
I always knew what it was going to say. It always said what I wanted it to say. It never said something that I couldn't have known.
Whatever it is, I can summon it at will, so I know it is just my mind. It is laying beside me right now as I type, apologizing for causing me issue, as if it has a mind of its own.
First of all, don't call her "it". Even if there is only a fraction of a chance that she is real, you should not address her like some personal property or object.

Jigsaw_666 said:
Then, a few days later I get the chance to burn the paper I wrote my prayer on, and I do successfully burn it, and I had made it clear in the ritual that I had to burn it later when my parents weren't home.
There is no problem with that.

Jigsaw_666 said:
I was very embarassed and humiliated after that. I was in a limbo in the days that followed. So I decided to ask Father Satan if I actaully have a Succubus or not, and for whatever reason-I'm not pointing fingers or blaming anyone or anything here- I get no reply. Maybe I did and I was being dumb and I missed it, I do not know. I was unable to ask a second time, and by then other things were going on.
In important matters like these, our minds often block astral communications because we are consciously (or unconsciously) afraid of hearing the answer. Void meditation is key here.

Jigsaw_666 said:
Here is the main thing I am horrified about. What if, Satan decided that it was solely my responsibility to properly prepare for such a commitment, and decided to grant my wish, reasoning that I had made up my mind, and he was simply doing what I had asked him for. And I don't blame him for that if that is what has occurred. I shouldn't have been so impulsive. I KNEW that I had to be properly prepared, yet I did not think about my actions.
This would never happen. Keep in mind that you are not the only one involved here. If you did get a Succubus, then she is a real being, too. And there is no way father Satan would send her to you just to "teach you a lesson".

Jigsaw_666 said:
But it doesn't end there. I sort of let a little bit of my gross fetishes loose when I was fantasizing more or less about my Succubus, assuming I have one. It wasn't anything huge, but it gets to me. I am afraid that I have in some way insulted or hurt her during my time of delusion. And if I did hurt her, what if she is so upset that she refuses to interact with me, for DECADES? CENTURIES? I would be cursed to a lonely life, the very thing I sought to escape. I can't have other partners. So I would be alone and in pain, and I would spend the rest of my life trying to set things right, and forever battling with myself not to give in to temptation and make things worse. I would die a virgin.
This is bullshit. You are just panicking. Either you have a Succubus and she will keep you company, or you don't have one and you will find a human partner.
As for your "fetishes", if it was "nothing huge", then there should not be an issue with it. I cannot say for sure what exactly you imagine under this term, but if your biggest concern would be that it may be "weird" in a way, then you should be okay. Just make sure you do not do anything that would be disrespectful. And if you did, apologize and don't do it again. It will be okay.

Jigsaw_666 said:
But then there's the other side that I am HOPING is true;
What if Father Satan, knowing well that I am not ready for one, decided not to grant my request. What if he knew that I would change my mind, and decided to just set my request aside, knowing I would come to this exact realization I am having now? If my request is set in stone, then I am more than happy to be in a monogamous relationship with a Demoness. If things are actually different, and I can change or even cancel my request, then that is fine too.
Do void meditation and clear your mind. Then ask father Satan for an answer again, and stay on the lookout for any signs.

Jigsaw_666 said:
And then, maybe I do have a Succubus, but I am actually just overthinking things, and she is doing just fine. If that is the case, then I will love and cherish her from now and for the rest of our eternal existence.
If she's out there, I want her to know I am so sorry. I'm sorry for my impulsive mistakes. I'm sorry for everything I have done wrong, and I want to do everything I can to set things right. If she's out there, then I want her to know that I love her.
Like I said above, clear your mind and ask Satan. You will find out the truth.

Jigsaw_666 said:
But if things truly are in the worst case scenario I discussed earlier, then I am going to just keep moving forward, and I am going to do what is right, so that I may set things right, and fix my mistakes, and show her how truly sorry I am. I'm scared that it will take ages for her to forgive me, I guess is what I am saying. And it is not just about me, if this is the case, I would worry so much about her, if that makes sense.
That "worst case scenario" you talked about is complete bullshit, so don't worry. This is not xianity. You wont be damned to loneliness and/or celibacy for your mistakes. Just own up to them and improve yourself.

Jigsaw_666 said:
And the other thing that makes me just scream on the inside;
I have no clue what is going on right now, I do not know which of these scenarios is reality. And I am scared that it might take a long while before I can more properly get an answer from Father Satan about what the situation is. And all of this prevents me from getting into relationships at the moment, as I DO NOT want to risk anything given I asked for monogamy, but I am paranoid I am going to miss my chance with someone and wind up alone, when all I was trying to do was be less lonely.
Do void meditation for as long as necessary. If you ask Him with a clear mind, you will receive your answer.

Jigsaw_666 said:
So I really need your honest opinion to ease my troubled mind. This at times robs me of my focus from important schoolwork. But just typing my feelings out is already helping me, actually.

Whatever is the case, I am going to do what is right, and what is best. I refuse to let my life end in tragedy. Even if my worst nightmares are realized, I have the rest of eternity to set things right.

What should I do?
Noone here can give you a definitive answer on what exactly your situation is. You will have to learn to control your mind and ask the Gods. Then you will receive your answer.
You are very true shael even though there is a possibility that it is an enemy but even though if it is one you have father Satan's protection so don't worry about just ask father for protection and ask him for guidance and he will help you just keep an open mind and have an eye on signs have a conversation with him tell him all your concerns and he will listen and guide there have been many times where i needed guidance the most and father always helped me. Also try not to be afraid there is a possibility she is a real demon lover so don't disrespect her but don't also give up to her and just think she is a succubus without making sure. Also no one should ask for a succubus until he is advanced as it causes confusion and trouble i myself want a succubus but i am waiting. patience is key for having a relationship with a succubus.
 
Jigsaw_666 said:
I'm in an embarassing conundrum right now. It's very frustrating and the consequences and inplications of what I've done are honestly incredibly horrifying. I need your honest opinion about this, because I think I may have made the worst mistake of my life.

This occurred around a month ago, during a week long break from high school.
I had quite the emotional experience with a good friend of mine. I was in a very emotional headspace, and I just wanted my life to be better. I've been very lonely and isolated for most of my life, and it negatively affected my sexual desires so to speak, I would view very obscene forms of pornography, and have disturbing fantasies, and I developed very gross fetishes, but after becoming SS they diminished and now I haven't watched porn in a while, and now I am way more level headed so to speak.

But anyways, I decided one day for whatever reason to just do a ritual and ask Father Satan for a Succubus. And I did, and immediately afterwards I laid in bed and had an intense experience, if you know what I mean, and I heard voices speak to me. Then things escalated, as then I could actually see, hear and directly talk with what I thought was my Succubus.
Here's the thing you guys need to understand; I seem to be very grounded in the material, I currently am not open psychically. I haven't meditated consistently since last fucking year. So what sense does it make that all of a sudden I am so open spiritually that I can directly communicate and see a Demoness?
I eventually snapped out of it, and realized it was really just me pulling the strings, and it only got cemented with the fact that I asked it to knock something over to prove it is real, but it just floated there and did nothing.
I always knew what it was going to say. It always said what I wanted it to say. It never said something that I couldn't have known.
Whatever it is, I can summon it at will, so I know it is just my mind. It is laying beside me right now as I type, apologizing for causing me issue, as if it has a mind of its own.
Then, a few days later I get the chance to burn the paper I wrote my prayer on, and I do successfully burn it, and I had made it clear in the ritual that I had to burn it later when my parents weren't home.
I was very embarassed and humiliated after that. I was in a limbo in the days that followed. So I decided to ask Father Satan if I actaully have a Succubus or not, and for whatever reason-I'm not pointing fingers or blaming anyone or anything here- I get no reply. Maybe I did and I was being dumb and I missed it, I do not know. I was unable to ask a second time, and by then other things were going on.

Here is the main thing I am horrified about. What if, Satan decided that it was solely my responsibility to properly prepare for such a commitment, and decided to grant my wish, reasoning that I had made up my mind, and he was simply doing what I had asked him for. And I don't blame him for that if that is what has occurred. I shouldn't have been so impulsive. I KNEW that I had to be properly prepared, yet I did not think about my actions.

But it doesn't end there. I sort of let a little bit of my gross fetishes loose when I was fantasizing more or less about my Succubus, assuming I have one. It wasn't anything huge, but it gets to me. I am afraid that I have in some way insulted or hurt her during my time of delusion. And if I did hurt her, what if she is so upset that she refuses to interact with me, for DECADES? CENTURIES? I would be cursed to a lonely life, the very thing I sought to escape. I can't have other partners. So I would be alone and in pain, and I would spend the rest of my life trying to set things right, and forever battling with myself not to give in to temptation and make things worse. I would die a virgin.

But then there's the other side that I am HOPING is true;
What if Father Satan, knowing well that I am not ready for one, decided not to grant my request. What if he knew that I would change my mind, and decided to just set my request aside, knowing I would come to this exact realization I am having now? If my request is set in stone, then I am more than happy to be in a monogamous relationship with a Demoness. If things are actually different, and I can change or even cancel my request, then that is fine too.

And then, maybe I do have a Succubus, but I am actually just overthinking things, and she is doing just fine. If that is the case, then I will love and cherish her from now and for the rest of our eternal existence.
If she's out there, I want her to know I am so sorry. I'm sorry for my impulsive mistakes. I'm sorry for everything I have done wrong, and I want to do everything I can to set things right. If she's out there, then I want her to know that I love her.

But if things truly are in the worst case scenario I discussed earlier, then I am going to just keep moving forward, and I am going to do what is right, so that I may set things right, and fix my mistakes, and show her how truly sorry I am. I'm scared that it will take ages for her to forgive me, I guess is what I am saying. And it is not just about me, if this is the case, I would worry so much about her, if that makes sense.

And the other thing that makes me just scream on the inside;
I have no clue what is going on right now, I do not know which of these scenarios is reality. And I am scared that it might take a long while before I can more properly get an answer from Father Satan about what the situation is. And all of this prevents me from getting into relationships at the moment, as I DO NOT want to risk anything given I asked for monogamy, but I am paranoid I am going to miss my chance with someone and wind up alone, when all I was trying to do was be less lonely.

So I really need your honest opinion to ease my troubled mind. This at times robs me of my focus from important schoolwork. But just typing my feelings out is already helping me, actually.

Whatever is the case, I am going to do what is right, and what is best. I refuse to let my life end in tragedy. Even if my worst nightmares are realized, I have the rest of eternity to set things right.

What should I do?

-Jigsaw

Also, sincerest apologies if I said something disrespectful or wrong.
An answer to your fetishes
"The public taste, like every other taste, craves what it is given most to feed upon " - Henry ford
I want you to write that quote down.

I recommended watching clean romantic movies get your head deprogrammed from kike pushed pornography The Kike is clever at brainwashing because they hate everyone . You being isolated can probably make your imagination run crazy.. Especially if you're in the dark at least my emotions enhance and all..
So you should:
Your bad Eroticism turn into romanticism and then that will turn into romantic eroticism..- write that down to as a commitment to yourself.
See how that works
You should understand life is about romanticism and then romantic sex Or you could be a two dollar ho but I don't think that's much proper is it? And that's where you are now feeling like a two dollar ho. The brain should adapt to romantic eroticism pretty easily.. And of course there may be days when you have over five orgasms a day that's completely normal. Your imagination can get carried away during an orgasm as well I noticed that at a very young age. If it's a bad choice don't make it..
Shael is right you should not ever call her it I was reading that and squinted a bit and was wondering who you were talking about... I understand that was a mistake though I have called a woman on the astral "entity" and felt real bad. You have a good heart I just wanted to point out one thing you said that made me crack up though you said you were going to die a virgin.. Lmao no that's not true laughing as I type this. By the way a recommendation seduce your succubus do things for her even if you think she's not watching she may be.
Good luck.
 
satanichonor said:
You should understand life is about romanticism and then romantic sex
I agree with all your other advice. Just this phrase I feel might need some clarification.

What kind of sex is preferred depends highly on the individual. This can be quite clearly found in one's astrology chart. Some people are more of a romantic type, while others prefer raw, lustful sex instead. One's Mars and Venus are the main indicators of this. The specific preferences based on your planetary placements can be checked on Azazel's Astrology.
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/MARS.html
https://www.satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/VENUS.html
 
Than you for the clarification that is true my chart shows over indulgences, I was aware of astrology and sex but actually did forget about while writing that. I would have said those same words though.. As seeing guys send genital pics on ie. snapchat to women is nothing new and tiring and this is where lust can go to just end up making a disrespectful regret..That is not okay. Men least they might be able to try and seduce women with their genuine admiration and not just like getting off. My sister has gotten hundreds of messages from guys on social media it could make you eyebrows raise, which leaves me to believe it is actually okay to let women come to a man instead of looking desperate or something I have had this " let the chicks come up to me" in my mindset since I was 11 or so at a school dance... I really admired this way of thinking that's just me... I believe I thought this way in my past life. And I think it's rather proper. Women that approach a man are the most sweetest and kind hearted. Showing them they care or want your attention or just want to chill.

So clearing it up it feels a lot better a women approaching a man than for me approaching them. Duh. It doesn't mean a bunch of women come running at you its just the ones that do show more interest than a man approaching a woman... Usually. If you really like her though you should let her know hey I'm here.. I want your attention. But since the all men are labeled as pervs bologna saying...

Obviously It's a fact that Jews have made sexuality in their movies ie. Fast and furious as hidden subliminals even because the Jew thinks it's time for their crazy jew age subliminal crap. I have heard what the jews brag about how they add these subliminals in that movie even. Race mixing is a given in that movie that the Jews promoted and bragged about that very thing they promoted in that movie. They also bragged about how these subliminals will create a group of teens (as it was teens targeted for this movie) and then have go to the mall and have double dates where nothing is really intimate and talk about sex openly." which sounds harmless doesn't it. But it's degrading... Those teens in the mall Are probably like have you ever sexual heard of sexual slang ... . wtf... Besides being funny to some...degrading! This is what the jew aims for. I recommend to be proper man just follow our pagan ancestors love and lust ie a poem. Don't get caught up in the jewish made media or subliminal mainstream sexuality have a brain. We are all very sexual however what the jew is promoting even unrecognized subliminals is disgust and it has gone too far... Which makes people go to far. Also most people don't even understand/recognize subliminals as that's not even in a persons vocabulary... I have went on pornhub when I was a teen and there are pop ups like usual but it was jewish pushed filth that I actually got into thanks to the jew! They are disgusting... If you are skeptical and just lurking on this post I urge you to do research about these things.
-Thanks for the reply and astrology tip. Been studying it little over the past 3 years but will advance in that field.
I will be posting the jewish admitted subliminals about fast and furious in my own thread as this wouldn't be the right one.
Have a great day
-
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

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