Gaius said:
Hai all. Firstly, I said this is my last words in the these days.I don't know how explain this because my english is not perfect but I try.I have a anxiety, social fobia , panic attacks , apathy etc. I'm live in a doctor control's everyday.I have a lot of medicine.I take it all day.I have a no real friend, I scare everything.Everyday, I'm suffering.I'm 23 years old.I have many memories that I cannot tell, it is real suffering.I'm smart enough to know that I've had this since childhood but I don't tell my family because I love them so much.Guys I'm weak person.Two years ago, I found Joy of satan and this forum.I love Hp's ,my god Satan and other lovely gods.I know a lot of thing about spiritual things.I'm do meditation and kundalini as well.Nothing change.I try everything.I take medicines all time but I know it is jewish stuff.I love all my gods and I know suicide is a not good thing.Also, I tell one other thing.This is not depression or other psycho things.I'm person like this, it is not change.Sorry to take your time but I have no friends, I don't trust my doctors.All I have you guys.Now, this is my last limit for this weakness. I cry everyday.My hair is already white.I want one thing from you guys. How change my life? There is any rune spells, there is any suggest for me? Mantras?
Hey man, calm down, everything will be alright in the end. We all want you to feel better, don't worry about using our time.
One possible explanation, given what you said about your hair and mental state, is that your kidneys are deficient, from a Traditional Chinese Medicine (TCM) perspective. TCM understands the physical body and how it operates way better than modern Jew medicine, and is therefore completely curative. Given your panic attacks, I think you may have an additional yin deficiency in the heart.
There are certain runes or mantras you can undertake, however I think the simpler and quicker solution would be physical solutions, not astral ones. Doing everything you can physically to boost your kidney energy will aid you.
Firstly, do you have access to a TCM doctor in your area? You may have to google. If you do not, you can call or webcam with TCM clinics anywhere in the world. They will talk with you and learn your symptoms, then they can prescribe herbal formulas to you, and even ship them to you. I can guess at your symptoms, and hopefully CentralForce will help out here as well, but it is best to get a good, qualified TCM doctor to help you.
As far as exercise goes, you will want to focus on yin-building exercises. Qigong exercises, especially those for the water element/kidneys, will suit you best. Hatha yoga is also very good for the yin of the body, and you will want to do that as well. Void/focus meditation will also calm your emotions and body.
The TCM doctor will give you herbal formulas. If there is a clinic near you, you can get acupuncture as well. In addition to this, there are some kidney yin tonics available online to order. I will post the links later, but I want to wait until CentralForce gives his input.
I have to ask you, because it is a common cause of kidney deficiencies, do you use porn or ejaculate frequently? Stop all porn use and lengthen the time between ejaculations. Do not try to abstain from ejaculation forever, but set a frequency that you can meet, such as every 5 or 7 days. This is not permanent, rather you are giving your kidneys time to rebuild their yin.
Keep us updated man, you have a good recovery ahead of you!
Exercises:
Kidney Qigong: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hjST0nDQteU
Hatha yoga: Open link, then search "Kundalini & Hatha Yoga Routine.zip"
https://www.satanslibrary.org/Pdf_Library.html
Food to eat: https://www.naturopathic-care.com/key-foods-to-build-kidney-yin
More info: Please read:
"Understanding Kidney Yin and Yang":
http://www.shen-nong.com/eng/princi...ang deficiency,general edema may also appear.
"What is Kidney Jing/Restoring it":https://www.acupuncturetoday.com/mpacms/at/article.php?id=32900