Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

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Syntax
Posts: 283

Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Tue Jun 25, 2019 8:39 pm

Hello, my amazing Satanic family I am in desperate need of advice. I have refrained from posting this topic previously due to what I believe to be enemy interference. When I was first starting to write this there was a feeling in my stomach almost like a weight of some kind telling me to delete this post. I am aware that this is not a feeling of intuition yet the feeling of some enemy is attempting to keep me on this disgusting path. At first, I feared that I would be hated for these interests even though I was asking for help. I know now that it was nothing more than thoughts planted within me. When engulphing myself in Aether I can think clearly and I no longer wish for these thoughts. When I pull the Aether back within myself I see the thoughts once more. Void meditation is something I believe can strongly help in similar situations but I believe I need more help than that. My mind is currently being flooded with these disgusting thoughts. From furry to loli to shota to all other forms of degenerate disgusting shit that is an abomination in Satanism. I am open to any and all advice. Please help me. I wish to purge myself of all Jewish originated thoughts and feelings. I wish to follow Satan purely without any of these thoughts. I do not wish to be like this and it crushes me. I have been a dedicated Satanist for nearly four years now and by myself, I have not been able to rid myself of these thoughts. Please please help me. It brings me to tears to know I have these disgusting thoughts floating around in my mind that I cannot shut out.

HAIL SATAN FOREVER!!!!

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luis
Posts: 3325

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby luis » Wed Jun 26, 2019 12:48 pm

The only think that i can suggest you to do is a free the soul working and a working (with High reps like 108 or 216) on your sacral chakra to open it and empower it. Don't be scared to ask, nobody is going to judge you here if you are trying to fix yourself. Unfortunately the jews made people sexualy represed so much that things like this happens...do those two working until you are fixed.

Another thing is to find a sexual partner, i belive that to compleatily heal yourself from sexual hung-ups you need to release these urges in a good way. Unfortunately in this world we don't have prostitutes but you can still do magick to find someone to have sex with. This will help you release your sexual urges and will help you with your sexual hung-ups. Make sure that you do the workings above too.

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Egon
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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Egon » Wed Jun 26, 2019 5:38 pm

People who are spiritually advancing can have plenty of random disturbing thoughts, they are not necessarily "your" inner desires or self. Besides cleaning your aura daily, aknowledge "this is not me" so you can tune it off more easily.

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Thu Jun 27, 2019 4:47 am

Thank you for your replies. I am moved to tears. You have no idea how long I was in fear of being hated or being rejected. I truly do want to get better. I know that jews join here and post twisted shit and try to get people to do things that aren't satanic. I am truly grateful to have such amazing family members. Thank you! Anymore advice is always appreciated!!! I am very grateful to be given an opportunity to have such an amazing family let alone have the knowledge I do. It truly is an honor to have been able to follow Satan. I suppose we have the ministry to thank for distinguishing fact from fiction and spreading TRUTH. Thank you again for your replies my Beautiful Satanic family! I appreciate it.

Hail Satan!

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Thu Jun 27, 2019 4:55 am

luis wrote:The only think that i can suggest you to do is a free the soul working and a working (with High reps like 108 or 216) on your sacral chakra to open it and empower it. Don't be scared to ask, nobody is going to judge you here if you are trying to fix yourself. Unfortunately the jews made people sexualy represed so much that things like this happens...do those two working until you are fixed.

Another thing is to find a sexual partner, i belive that to compleatily heal yourself from sexual hung-ups you need to release these urges in a good way. Unfortunately in this world we don't have prostitutes but you can still do magick to find someone to have sex with. This will help you release your sexual urges and will help you with your sexual hung-ups. Make sure that you do the workings above too.


Thank you. I already posted one reply to this thread but I remembered when I first did the 40 day years ago I visualized the sacral chakra in the wrong place. I re-did the 40 days a few times and each time I did the sacral chakra in the wrong place. I only found out about a month ago that I had done it in the wrong spot and meditated on and cleansed the wrong area. I have had these awful attractions for a very long time even before joining Satan. I have gotten professional help but it never really did anything for me. Also, I have a partner who I am sexually active with. Do you think that the issues could be due to the fact that I unknowingly neglected my sacral chakra for so long and never cleaned it from whatever was there from my past lives? I do not want to believe that this is who I am. It is disgusting and sick and I don't wish to have these feelings or urges. I've just been so scared to actually ask for help from any of my Satanic family or even from the gods themselves.. I would never want to be an abomination in Satan or his god's eyes. It tears me to fucking shreds to have these thoughts.. Any advice is helpful. Thank you truly.. I don't know why the thought of my sacral chakra never came to mind.

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luis
Posts: 3325

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby luis » Thu Jun 27, 2019 6:44 am

Syntax wrote:
luis wrote:The only think that i can suggest you to do is a free the soul working and a working (with High reps like 108 or 216) on your sacral chakra to open it and empower it. Don't be scared to ask, nobody is going to judge you here if you are trying to fix yourself. Unfortunately the jews made people sexualy represed so much that things like this happens...do those two working until you are fixed.

Another thing is to find a sexual partner, i belive that to compleatily heal yourself from sexual hung-ups you need to release these urges in a good way. Unfortunately in this world we don't have prostitutes but you can still do magick to find someone to have sex with. This will help you release your sexual urges and will help you with your sexual hung-ups. Make sure that you do the workings above too.


Thank you. I already posted one reply to this thread but I remembered when I first did the 40 day years ago I visualized the sacral chakra in the wrong place. I re-did the 40 days a few times and each time I did the sacral chakra in the wrong place. I only found out about a month ago that I had done it in the wrong spot and meditated on and cleansed the wrong area. I have had these awful attractions for a very long time even before joining Satan. I have gotten professional help but it never really did anything for me. Also, I have a partner who I am sexually active with. Do you think that the issues could be due to the fact that I unknowingly neglected my sacral chakra for so long and never cleaned it from whatever was there from my past lives? I do not want to believe that this is who I am. It is disgusting and sick and I don't wish to have these feelings or urges. I've just been so scared to actually ask for help from any of my Satanic family or even from the gods themselves.. I would never want to be an abomination in Satan or his god's eyes. It tears me to fucking shreds to have these thoughts.. Any advice is helpful. Thank you truly.. I don't know why the thought of my sacral chakra never came to mind.

You need to calm down. You are a gentile and you feel these things because of hung-ups and probabily past lifes issues. Whatever you did it wrong or not now is the time to do it right. Trust me it will work out. Do your daily meditations, do the Returning curses 1 and 2 (these will help you clean your soul and chakras too and obviously protect you) and do the things that i've already told you, it's not too late. It may take some time (like a year or even less) but it will work in the end. Just never give up.

shinninglight
Posts: 642

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby shinninglight » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:59 am

Don't take it seriously,when you get these thoughts just a t like nothing is happening,they will fade
Also do void meditation,are you Japanese?
If so then all these hentai porn may be having a toll on you so abstract yourself from such things.
Or maybe if you used to watch some of this things(loli or shota) before you became a satanist no one will blame you,because its just jews pushing this shit,just one search on the internet and you will see it so you should do a freeing the soul working asap to free your mind and soul from any unwanted thing that are hanging around
Goodluck
HAIL SATAN

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Thu Jun 27, 2019 7:48 pm

Thank you everyone for your responses :) I will add the returning curses 1 and 2 and freeing the soul meditation to my schedule.

Hail Satan!!!!

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Shael
Posts: 3146

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Shael » Thu Jun 27, 2019 8:59 pm

Syntax wrote:...
Sinistra actually shared a really interesting interpretation of how our minds work. It has helped me to even further shut out any negative thoughts.
What he said was something along the lines that our minds and thoughts are nothing more than programs that we ourselves have created. Your thoughts arent "you" - they are just a program in your head that is repeating certain affirmations and filtering the things you perceive in the world, based on your own prejudices. So basically, if this program has pieces in it that you do not want, all you have to do is to change it. Become aware that your mind and thoughts are mere programs that you can change at will if you do no let them control you. Those disturbing thoughts do not come from "you". They come partly from the enemy and partly from bad pieces of programming that are still in your head. These pieces of programming are what creates holes in your aura and generally opens you up to be attacked and manipulated by the enemy. So knowing this, all you have to do is to take control of your mind and rewrite those faulty parts into something positive. This will also prevent the enemy from fucking with you in this area.

If you are not strong enough to stop the thoughts with this alone, you can utilize the waning moon and start a working to remove all unhealthy sexual fetishes, in combination with applying the above technique.


And also, relax. No mature SS would ever attack you for sharing your issues. Even if some newbie came around and shittalked you, the other members will be quick to correct them and defend you. We are all one family here. :)
'Do not do anything useless.'
-Miyamoto Musashi

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Thu Jun 27, 2019 10:01 pm

Shael wrote:
Syntax wrote:...
Sinistra actually shared a really interesting interpretation of how our minds work. It has helped me to even further shut out any negative thoughts.
What he said was something along the lines that our minds and thoughts are nothing more than programs that we ourselves have created. Your thoughts arent "you" - they are just a program in your head that is repeating certain affirmations and filtering the things you perceive in the world, based on your own prejudices. So basically, if this program has pieces in it that you do not want, all you have to do is to change it. Become aware that your mind and thoughts are mere programs that you can change at will if you do no let them control you. Those disturbing thoughts do not come from "you". They come partly from the enemy and partly from bad pieces of programming that are still in your head. These pieces of programming are what creates holes in your aura and generally opens you up to be attacked and manipulated by the enemy. So knowing this, all you have to do is to take control of your mind and rewrite those faulty parts into something positive. This will also prevent the enemy from fucking with you in this area.

If you are not strong enough to stop the thoughts with this alone, you can utilize the waning moon and start a working to remove all unhealthy sexual fetishes, in combination with applying the above technique.


And also, relax. No mature SS would ever attack you for sharing your issues. Even if some newbie came around and shittalked you, the other members will be quick to correct them and defend you. We are all one family here. :)


Thank you my friend. That is a really interesting idea. I remember reading a book on astral projection. I believe it was by Robert Bruce but there are a few other authors I have read. Anyways what they said within the book is that the brain is not where memories are stored or created. They had a theory that the brain was simply a way of transmitting stimulus to the astral where your mind can perceive it. Just as you cannot point and say where your mind is you cannot point and say where it isn't. I believe this could also play a roll in this theory by Sinistra as a way to erase negative stimulus. The person in the book believed that the mind was apart of something immaterial and within the astral. What are your thoughts about this?

HailVictory88
Posts: 378

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby HailVictory88 » Fri Jun 28, 2019 1:53 am

With regards to this general topic, are all intense fetishes unhealthy or the result of bad things? Without going into detail too much I have had very intense fetishes for most of my life and don't really have an interest in "normal" things. I would much rather engage in extreme fantasies than do normal things with another person. Could this possible have negative effects on me as I advance?

One theory I have is that I'm naturally drawn to extreme things, and by meditating I can properly sublimate this trait. I do find that I can sometimes replace a portion of my fetishistic interests by focusing on things like intense meditations/sex magic. Perhaps extreme sexually tendencies, properly sublimated, can channeled into magic and similar things.

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Shael
Posts: 3146

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Shael » Fri Jun 28, 2019 7:41 pm

HailVictory88 wrote:With regards to this general topic, are all intense fetishes unhealthy or the result of bad things? Without going into detail too much I have had very intense fetishes for most of my life and don't really have an interest in "normal" things. I would much rather engage in extreme fantasies than do normal things with another person. Could this possible have negative effects on me as I advance?

One theory I have is that I'm naturally drawn to extreme things, and by meditating I can properly sublimate this trait. I do find that I can sometimes replace a portion of my fetishistic interests by focusing on things like intense meditations/sex magic. Perhaps extreme sexually tendencies, properly sublimated, can channeled into magic and similar things.
I think the vast majority of fetishes are completely okay.
Fetishes like loli, furry, torture, gore, rape, incest, and worst of all interracial, are unhealthy and should be removed. Most of the rest is okay as long as there is mutual consent between both parties. Having "weird" or "intense" fetishes is completely normal and healthy as long as they do not fall into the above categories.
'Do not do anything useless.'
-Miyamoto Musashi

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Shael
Posts: 3146

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Shael » Fri Jun 28, 2019 7:44 pm

Syntax wrote:Thank you my friend. That is a really interesting idea. I remember reading a book on astral projection. I believe it was by Robert Bruce but there are a few other authors I have read. Anyways what they said within the book is that the brain is not where memories are stored or created. They had a theory that the brain was simply a way of transmitting stimulus to the astral where your mind can perceive it. Just as you cannot point and say where your mind is you cannot point and say where it isn't. I believe this could also play a roll in this theory by Sinistra as a way to erase negative stimulus. The person in the book believed that the mind was apart of something immaterial and within the astral. What are your thoughts about this?
I think that our mind, just like the rest of our body, exists both physically and astrally, in all our different bodies. The reason why I do not think that the mind is "purely astral" is because of how those brain implants work. They are physically inserted into the brain, and can control emotions and thoughts, so there has to be some parts of the mind in the physical, too. That's my opinion.
'Do not do anything useless.'
-Miyamoto Musashi

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Fri Jun 28, 2019 11:52 pm

HailVictory88 wrote:With regards to this general topic, are all intense fetishes unhealthy or the result of bad things? Without going into detail too much I have had very intense fetishes for most of my life and don't really have an interest in "normal" things. I would much rather engage in extreme fantasies than do normal things with another person. Could this possible have negative effects on me as I advance?

One theory I have is that I'm naturally drawn to extreme things, and by meditating I can properly sublimate this trait. I do find that I can sometimes replace a portion of my fetishistic interests by focusing on things like intense meditations/sex magic. Perhaps extreme sexually tendencies, properly sublimated, can channeled into magic and similar things.


I believe that the things which are degenerative(things that degenerate your state of mind towards sexuality) Are possibly bad. A little BDSM play or whatever I don't believe is bad. Some of the things within my head which I am working to remove are very degenerative and thus non-Satanic. Satanism is about betterment for the Mind, body, soul, and spirit.

If you find something attractive sexually that draws you deeper and diminishes your understanding of sexuality I would consider it degenerative. For instance hardcore porn in degenerative as it takes away the stimulus making you need more. The more you need the darker you go until you're into some really messed up stuff.

I cannot give any advice on how to fix any degenerative interests as I am struggling with it myself. I recommend you to read the posts above my family member.

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luis
Posts: 3325

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby luis » Sat Jun 29, 2019 11:12 am

HailVictory88 wrote:With regards to this general topic, are all intense fetishes unhealthy or the result of bad things? Without going into detail too much I have had very intense fetishes for most of my life and don't really have an interest in "normal" things. I would much rather engage in extreme fantasies than do normal things with another person. Could this possible have negative effects on me as I advance?

One theory I have is that I'm naturally drawn to extreme things, and by meditating I can properly sublimate this trait. I do find that I can sometimes replace a portion of my fetishistic interests by focusing on things like intense meditations/sex magic. Perhaps extreme sexually tendencies, properly sublimated, can channeled into magic and similar things.

It depends on what you mean by extreme fetishes. Things that hurt yourself or other people's (i mean extreme stuff), pedophilia, zoophilia and the others -philia are not good for you and not accepted here (unless of course you want to heal yourself).

Now if you don't want to say what is you have to judge for yourself if it's bad or not. Doing a 40/80 days working with 216 reps of Vaum for your Sacral chakras is not too much and will help to heal whatever sexual hung-ups you may have (It could take more than 40/80 days to heal certain hung-ups).

Aquarius
Posts: 5956

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Aquarius » Sat Jun 29, 2019 11:27 am

Shael wrote:
Syntax wrote:...
Sinistra actually shared a really interesting interpretation of how our minds work. It has helped me to even further shut out any negative thoughts.
What he said was something along the lines that our minds and thoughts are nothing more than programs that we ourselves have created. Your thoughts arent "you" - they are just a program in your head that is repeating certain affirmations and filtering the things you perceive in the world, based on your own prejudices. So basically, if this program has pieces in it that you do not want, all you have to do is to change it. Become aware that your mind and thoughts are mere programs that you can change at will if you do no let them control you. Those disturbing thoughts do not come from "you". They come partly from the enemy and partly from bad pieces of programming that are still in your head. These pieces of programming are what creates holes in your aura and generally opens you up to be attacked and manipulated by the enemy. So knowing this, all you have to do is to take control of your mind and rewrite those faulty parts into something positive. This will also prevent the enemy from fucking with you in this area.

If you are not strong enough to stop the thoughts with this alone, you can utilize the waning moon and start a working to remove all unhealthy sexual fetishes, in combination with applying the above technique.


And also, relax. No mature SS would ever attack you for sharing your issues. Even if some newbie came around and shittalked you, the other members will be quick to correct them and defend you. We are all one family here. :)
Sinistra is a girl btw :P
HAIL TO OUR TRUE INEFFABLE GOD SATAN

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Sat Jun 29, 2019 2:53 pm

Shael wrote:
Syntax wrote:Thank you my friend. That is a really interesting idea. I remember reading a book on astral projection. I believe it was by Robert Bruce but there are a few other authors I have read. Anyways what they said within the book is that the brain is not where memories are stored or created. They had a theory that the brain was simply a way of transmitting stimulus to the astral where your mind can perceive it. Just as you cannot point and say where your mind is you cannot point and say where it isn't. I believe this could also play a roll in this theory by Sinistra as a way to erase negative stimulus. The person in the book believed that the mind was apart of something immaterial and within the astral. What are your thoughts about this?
I think that our mind, just like the rest of our body, exists both physically and astrally, in all our different bodies. The reason why I do not think that the mind is "purely astral" is because of how those brain implants work. They are physically inserted into the brain, and can control emotions and thoughts, so there has to be some parts of the mind in the physical, too. That's my opinion.


I see that is interesting. I personally believe that the mind is apart of the astral as the author spoke of. I see how the brain itself could be an antenna for the mind to connect to the astral. A person can lose half their brain when they are young and grow up without any issues except a slight limp. Perhaps these implants modify the way the brain connects to the astral and thus can prevent or control stimulus and the way it reaches the mind. I am always open to feedback as I should be. If the mind is not purely astral I would be open to accepting it. Please do not take my opinions as an opposition. I am always willing to learn more and be wrong because if I am wrong it means I have gained new knowledge.

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Shael
Posts: 3146

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Shael » Sat Jun 29, 2019 3:11 pm

Aquarius wrote:Sinistra is a girl btw :P
No way :o
It seems I have a talent for always guessing people's gender wrongly, lol.
'Do not do anything useless.'
-Miyamoto Musashi

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Ghost in the Machine
Posts: 2340
Location: We are the future gods of our people. Start acting like it.

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Ghost in the Machine » Sat Jun 29, 2019 7:03 pm

It's important to know that the enemy has suppressed human sexuality to the extreme where things like pedophilia, bestiality, interest in furry porn, lolicon, resorting to rape and all that other shit has surfaced in gentiles as a result of this suppression. It's brought mental and sexual hangups, warped and unnatural behaviour among other things to us.

Fetishes like BDSM among other more tame things in comparison is perfectly fine between CONSENTING ADULTS, these kinds of things you do in your private life is your own business and we could care less.

My advice, get yourself an incubus/succubus to partner with. Sex with an actual partner is a human need in the soul whether you're straight, bi or gay. Porn is like drinking saltwater to quench your thirst, you need the real deal. This need isn't the same for everyone either, it's individual, but if you're looking at 'weird' porn and find yourself going deeper and deeper into more questionable and disgusting forms of porn, then that's quite evident enough that you need real sex and are severely sexually suppressed.

This is why we need things like brothels in society, where people can go to have sex for free with clean and healthy partners. I wouldn't trust a prostitute or anything of the like these days.

Aquarius
Posts: 5956

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Aquarius » Sat Jun 29, 2019 8:25 pm

Ghost in the Machine wrote:It's important to know that the enemy has suppressed human sexuality to the extreme where things like pedophilia, bestiality, interest in furry porn, lolicon, resorting to rape and all that other shit has surfaced in gentiles as a result of this suppression. It's brought mental and sexual hangups, warped and unnatural behaviour among other things to us.

Fetishes like BDSM among other more tame things in comparison is perfectly fine between CONSENTING ADULTS, these kinds of things you do in your private life is your own business and we could care less.

My advice, get yourself an incubus/succubus to partner with. Sex with an actual partner is a human need in the soul whether you're straight, bi or gay. Porn is like drinking saltwater to quench your thirst, you need the real deal. This need isn't the same for everyone either, it's individual, but if you're looking at 'weird' porn and find yourself going deeper and deeper into more questionable and disgusting forms of porn, then that's quite evident enough that you need real sex and are severely sexually suppressed.

This is why we need things like brothels in society, where people can go to have sex for free with clean and healthy partners. I wouldn't trust a prostitute or anything of the like these days.
Not sure about the free part of the brothels.
HAIL TO OUR TRUE INEFFABLE GOD SATAN

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Shael
Posts: 3146

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Shael » Sat Jun 29, 2019 9:02 pm

Syntax wrote:I see that is interesting. I personally believe that the mind is apart of the astral as the author spoke of. I see how the brain itself could be an antenna for the mind to connect to the astral. A person can lose half their brain when they are young and grow up without any issues except a slight limp. Perhaps these implants modify the way the brain connects to the astral and thus can prevent or control stimulus and the way it reaches the mind. I am always open to feedback as I should be. If the mind is not purely astral I would be open to accepting it. Please do not take my opinions as an opposition. I am always willing to learn more and be wrong because if I am wrong it means I have gained new knowledge.
I think your theory definitely could be correct. I haven't thought deeply enough about this topic to really have a 100% definitive answer. What I stated in my message was just what my current understanding of the matter is. I'm sure that over time we will be guided to more information about this so we can figure out the truth. :)
'Do not do anything useless.'
-Miyamoto Musashi

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Shael
Posts: 3146

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Shael » Sun Jun 30, 2019 11:27 am

Aquarius wrote:Not sure about the free part of the brothels.
I think it's a good concept. Provided that it is in a satanic society and only clean people are allowed in, I also think that it should be "free". Not in the sense that the men and women there get no pay of course. Payment would be through the state. I think of it in a similar way to healthcare and housing. Any working member of society who puts in effort towards the betterment of the country, should be provided with these things by default in a satanic world.
'Do not do anything useless.'
-Miyamoto Musashi

Aquarius
Posts: 5956

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Aquarius » Sun Jun 30, 2019 1:49 pm

Shael wrote:
Aquarius wrote:Not sure about the free part of the brothels.
I think it's a good concept. Provided that it is in a satanic society and only clean people are allowed in, I also think that it should be "free". Not in the sense that the men and women there get no pay of course. Payment would be through the state. I think of it in a similar way to healthcare and housing. Any working member of society who puts in effort towards the betterment of the country, should be provided with these things by default in a satanic world.

I agree with you, only in a SS world.
HAIL TO OUR TRUE INEFFABLE GOD SATAN

HailVictory88
Posts: 378

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby HailVictory88 » Sun Jun 30, 2019 3:35 pm

Thank you all for your replies.

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Mon Jul 01, 2019 1:14 pm

Shael wrote:
Syntax wrote:I see that is interesting. I personally believe that the mind is apart of the astral as the author spoke of. I see how the brain itself could be an antenna for the mind to connect to the astral. A person can lose half their brain when they are young and grow up without any issues except a slight limp. Perhaps these implants modify the way the brain connects to the astral and thus can prevent or control stimulus and the way it reaches the mind. I am always open to feedback as I should be. If the mind is not purely astral I would be open to accepting it. Please do not take my opinions as an opposition. I am always willing to learn more and be wrong because if I am wrong it means I have gained new knowledge.
I think your theory definitely could be correct. I haven't thought deeply enough about this topic to really have a 100% definitive answer. What I stated in my message was just what my current understanding of the matter is. I'm sure that over time we will be guided to more information about this so we can figure out the truth. :)


Time will tell I suppose. Thank you for your respo9nse :)

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luis
Posts: 3325

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby luis » Tue Jul 02, 2019 6:36 pm

Syntax wrote:
Shael wrote:
Syntax wrote:...
Sinistra actually shared a really interesting interpretation of how our minds work. It has helped me to even further shut out any negative thoughts.
What he said was something along the lines that our minds and thoughts are nothing more than programs that we ourselves have created. Your thoughts arent "you" - they are just a program in your head that is repeating certain affirmations and filtering the things you perceive in the world, based on your own prejudices. So basically, if this program has pieces in it that you do not want, all you have to do is to change it. Become aware that your mind and thoughts are mere programs that you can change at will if you do no let them control you. Those disturbing thoughts do not come from "you". They come partly from the enemy and partly from bad pieces of programming that are still in your head. These pieces of programming are what creates holes in your aura and generally opens you up to be attacked and manipulated by the enemy. So knowing this, all you have to do is to take control of your mind and rewrite those faulty parts into something positive. This will also prevent the enemy from fucking with you in this area.

If you are not strong enough to stop the thoughts with this alone, you can utilize the waning moon and start a working to remove all unhealthy sexual fetishes, in combination with applying the above technique.


And also, relax. No mature SS would ever attack you for sharing your issues. Even if some newbie came around and shittalked you, the other members will be quick to correct them and defend you. We are all one family here. :)


Thank you my friend. That is a really interesting idea. I remember reading a book on astral projection. I believe it was by Robert Bruce but there are a few other authors I have read. Anyways what they said within the book is that the brain is not where memories are stored or created. They had a theory that the brain was simply a way of transmitting stimulus to the astral where your mind can perceive it. Just as you cannot point and say where your mind is you cannot point and say where it isn't. I believe this could also play a roll in this theory by Sinistra as a way to erase negative stimulus. The person in the book believed that the mind was apart of something immaterial and within the astral. What are your thoughts about this?

What Sinistra said it is true. In the East it's called Karmic body. It's a body that is formed (in the Astral of course) by all the Karma wich takes over our mind. Karma is negative programing and negative energies accumuleted in past lifes. I think HP Mageson talked about this body in one of his sermons.

Syntax
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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Wed Jul 03, 2019 12:21 am

luis wrote:
Syntax wrote:
Shael wrote:Sinistra actually shared a really interesting interpretation of how our minds work. It has helped me to even further shut out any negative thoughts.
What he said was something along the lines that our minds and thoughts are nothing more than programs that we ourselves have created. Your thoughts arent "you" - they are just a program in your head that is repeating certain affirmations and filtering the things you perceive in the world, based on your own prejudices. So basically, if this program has pieces in it that you do not want, all you have to do is to change it. Become aware that your mind and thoughts are mere programs that you can change at will if you do no let them control you. Those disturbing thoughts do not come from "you". They come partly from the enemy and partly from bad pieces of programming that are still in your head. These pieces of programming are what creates holes in your aura and generally opens you up to be attacked and manipulated by the enemy. So knowing this, all you have to do is to take control of your mind and rewrite those faulty parts into something positive. This will also prevent the enemy from fucking with you in this area.

If you are not strong enough to stop the thoughts with this alone, you can utilize the waning moon and start a working to remove all unhealthy sexual fetishes, in combination with applying the above technique.


And also, relax. No mature SS would ever attack you for sharing your issues. Even if some newbie came around and shittalked you, the other members will be quick to correct them and defend you. We are all one family here. :)


Thank you my friend. That is a really interesting idea. I remember reading a book on astral projection. I believe it was by Robert Bruce but there are a few other authors I have read. Anyways what they said within the book is that the brain is not where memories are stored or created. They had a theory that the brain was simply a way of transmitting stimulus to the astral where your mind can perceive it. Just as you cannot point and say where your mind is you cannot point and say where it isn't. I believe this could also play a roll in this theory by Sinistra as a way to erase negative stimulus. The person in the book believed that the mind was apart of something immaterial and within the astral. What are your thoughts about this?

What Sinistra said it is true. In the East it's called Karmic body. It's a body that is formed (in the Astral of course) by all the Karma wich takes over our mind. Karma is negative programing and negative energies accumuleted in past lifes. I think HP Mageson talked about this body in one of his sermons.


That's interesting. After reading the initial message I started messing with my mind as if it was a giant program with pieces of code determining which stimulus to react to and which one to despise. Upon doing that it seems that my thought process was more or less aligned but it may just be a placebo effect, Suffice to say it is easier to view my mind this way and I believe it has helped me. Once again it may just be me imagining it. I have a theory which I am investigating and if it is true I will definitely post about it. I wouldn't want to post information which may actually be harmful and harm those of my family who I care about.

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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Poweredbythesun » Wed Jul 03, 2019 2:12 am

Damn, it seems I'm not alone in this. I was too embarrassed to make a post about this, but it looks like I found some answers to my questions anyhow :)

Long story short I found regular porn, then Furry stuff, then as that wasn't enough I found assorted fetishes, and I finally landed in the trans community somehow :(

I know I'm not the opposite gender, or fully gay, and am quite alright with my body, but my heads been so fucked up lately, and I had it fixed for 3-4 months but slipped back into it recently. And it's been almost 2 years since I've even dated anyone, I asked Father Satan for a sexual partner. But I'm not sure how that turned out, maybe I'm not sensitive enough to perceive them?


Anyways, I'll have to re-do the freeing the soul working and do a opening / empowering Sacral chakra working soon. Thank yo
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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby luis » Wed Jul 03, 2019 12:43 pm

Poweredbythesun wrote:Damn, it seems I'm not alone in this. I was too embarrassed to make a post about this, but it looks like I found some answers to my questions anyhow :)

Long story short I found regular porn, then Furry stuff, then as that wasn't enough I found assorted fetishes, and I finally landed in the trans community somehow :(

I know I'm not the opposite gender, or fully gay, and am quite alright with my body, but my heads been so fucked up lately, and I had it fixed for 3-4 months but slipped back into it recently. And it's been almost 2 years since I've even dated anyone, I asked Father Satan for a sexual partner. But I'm not sure how that turned out, maybe I'm not sensitive enough to perceive them?


Anyways, I'll have to re-do the freeing the soul working and do a opening / empowering Sacral chakra working soon. Thank yo

In my experience having sex with someone else can help get over some weird fetishes too, not watching porn helps too (i do understand that for someone that doesn't have a partner and has a high libido it may be difficult to not do).

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Wed Jul 03, 2019 9:29 pm

Poweredbythesun wrote:Damn, it seems I'm not alone in this. I was too embarrassed to make a post about this, but it looks like I found some answers to my questions anyhow :)

Long story short I found regular porn, then Furry stuff, then as that wasn't enough I found assorted fetishes, and I finally landed in the trans community somehow :(

I know I'm not the opposite gender, or fully gay, and am quite alright with my body, but my heads been so fucked up lately, and I had it fixed for 3-4 months but slipped back into it recently. And it's been almost 2 years since I've even dated anyone, I asked Father Satan for a sexual partner. But I'm not sure how that turned out, maybe I'm not sensitive enough to perceive them?


Anyways, I'll have to re-do the freeing the soul working and do a opening / empowering Sacral chakra working soon. Thank yo


I'm glad the post I made asking for help is helping other members of my beautiful family. There is another member who commented as well who I believe was in a similar situation. I wish you luck my friend. You are not alone in this struggle. HAIL SATAN!

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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Poweredbythesun » Sun Jul 07, 2019 5:32 pm

luis wrote:

In my experience having sex with someone else can help get over some weird fetishes too, not watching porn helps too (i do understand that for someone that doesn't have a partner and has a high libido it may be difficult to not do).[/quote]

See, that's the problem though :/ I don't quite know where to look for a women who would be interested in me, I'm not over weight, or ugly. Just in a moderately sized town about 1-2 hours away from the nearby city. All in all I'm not too worried, I can always do workings to attract a partner. But I also tried online dating, and found that's rigged.
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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby luis » Sun Jul 07, 2019 9:13 pm

Poweredbythesun wrote:
luis wrote:

In my experience having sex with someone else can help get over some weird fetishes too, not watching porn helps too (i do understand that for someone that doesn't have a partner and has a high libido it may be difficult to not do).


See, that's the problem though :/ I don't quite know where to look for a women who would be interested in me, I'm not over weight, or ugly. Just in a moderately sized town about 1-2 hours away from the nearby city. All in all I'm not too worried, I can always do workings to attract a partner. But I also tried online dating, and found that's rigged.[/quote]
I do understand your problems but even you don't have to find the perfect partner for you to have sex. Just someone to have sex with and that is it. The only way is magick, even with online dating magick will help. In a normal world we would have prostitute (for both sex and sexual orientation) but we have to do what we can. In this world right now i say to just use magick for sex or to find a compatible partner.

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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Poweredbythesun » Mon Jul 08, 2019 4:30 am

luis wrote:
Poweredbythesun wrote:
luis wrote:

In my experience having sex with someone else can help get over some weird fetishes too, not watching porn helps too (i do understand that for someone that doesn't have a partner and has a high libido it may be difficult to not do).


See, that's the problem though :/ I don't quite know where to look for a women who would be interested in me, I'm not over weight, or ugly. Just in a moderately sized town about 1-2 hours away from the nearby city. All in all I'm not too worried, I can always do workings to attract a partner. But I also tried online dating, and found that's rigged.
I do understand your problems but even you don't have to find the perfect partner for you to have sex. Just someone to have sex with and that is it. The only way is magick, even with online dating magick will help. In a normal world we would have prostitute (for both sex and sexual orientation) but we have to do what we can. In this world right now i say to just use magick for sex or to find a compatible partner.


Thanks Luis :) Well, looks like I'll be doing a working soon anyhow. May as well make it for that. Will probably have to start hitting up the local bars too, but I'm sure it'll be worth the trouble to head to the city for a night to do that XD
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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby FancyMancy » Wed Jul 10, 2019 1:07 am

Shael wrote:
Aquarius wrote:Not sure about the free part of the brothels.
I think it's a good concept. Provided that it is in a satanic society and only clean people are allowed in, I also think that it should be "free". Not in the sense that the men and women there get no pay of course. Payment would be through the state. I think of it in a similar way to healthcare and housing. Any working member of society who puts in effort towards the betterment of the country, should be provided with these things by default in a satanic world.

I would think that an agreement between customer and worker could be that the worker keeps the sexual orgasm energy for his/her own purposes, as payment. "Money" would be much less prevalent; we'd have energy as 'currency' for a lot of things, instead, perhaps for everything eventually.

Poweredbythesun wrote:
luis wrote:

In my experience having sex with someone else can help get over some weird fetishes too, not watching porn helps too (i do understand that for someone that doesn't have a partner and has a high libido it may be difficult to not do).


See, that's the problem though :/ I don't quite know where to look for a women who would be interested in me, I'm not over weight, or ugly. Just in a moderately sized town about 1-2 hours away from the nearby city. All in all I'm not too worried, I can always do workings to attract a partner. But I also tried online dating, and found that's rigged.

There are a plethora of fake dating sites owned by the same company or companies. I was told by a professional non-sex worker about 1 site, and on there it recommended others. You should always search online for reviews of sites, or simply just register for free and do nothing with your profile. You'd more than likely get inbox messages every day for a while from random "users". In email messages, you see a "user" has looked at your profile, then 2 minutes later has messaged you. The same is for many "users". Others I have read about have experience in chatting with "Dirty slut 4 U", for example - "I'm horny, I'm open, and so are my legs open for you, babe; message me NOW! for quick dirty times" - and then when wanting to move from inbox onto emails, the "Dirty slut 4U" says that they are too worried and afraid and just want to stay chatting via the site's messaging service. If you also read the Ts and Cs, you would also find, on some of them, that it admits there are fake/bot profiles on them, as well.

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Fri Jul 12, 2019 8:46 pm

FancyMancy wrote:
Shael wrote:
Aquarius wrote:Not sure about the free part of the brothels.
I think it's a good concept. Provided that it is in a satanic society and only clean people are allowed in, I also think that it should be "free". Not in the sense that the men and women there get no pay of course. Payment would be through the state. I think of it in a similar way to healthcare and housing. Any working member of society who puts in effort towards the betterment of the country, should be provided with these things by default in a satanic world.

I would think that an agreement between customer and worker could be that the worker keeps the sexual orgasm energy for his/her own purposes, as payment. "Money" would be much less prevalent; we'd have energy as 'currency' for a lot of things, instead, perhaps for everything eventually.

Poweredbythesun wrote:In my experience having sex with someone else can help get over some weird fetishes too, not watching porn helps too (i do understand that for someone that doesn't have a partner and has a high libido it may be difficult to not do).


See, that's the problem though :/ I don't quite know where to look for a women who would be interested in me, I'm not over weight, or ugly. Just in a moderately sized town about 1-2 hours away from the nearby city. All in all I'm not too worried, I can always do workings to attract a partner. But I also tried online dating, and found that's rigged.

There are a plethora of fake dating sites owned by the same company or companies. I was told by a professional non-sex worker about 1 site, and on there it recommended others. You should always search online for reviews of sites, or simply just register for free and do nothing with your profile. You'd more than likely get inbox messages every day for a while from random "users". In email messages, you see a "user" has looked at your profile, then 2 minutes later has messaged you. The same is for many "users". Others I have read about have experience in chatting with "Dirty slut 4 U", for example - "I'm horny, I'm open, and so are my legs open for you, babe; message me NOW! for quick dirty times" - and then when wanting to move from inbox onto emails, the "Dirty slut 4U" says that they are too worried and afraid and just want to stay chatting via the site's messaging service. If you also read the Ts and Cs, you would also find, on some of them, that it admits there are fake/bot profiles on them, as well.


OkCupid(Cupid being Eros) Is a good site to find people who aren't complete idiots. There are a lot of atheists and pagans on that site who could be taught the truth. My partner is one of them. Also FancyMancy would you be willing to let me email you? I wanted to pick your brain about a few topics and possibly become friends if the situation allows it.

FancyMancy
Posts: 4762

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby FancyMancy » Sat Jul 13, 2019 4:54 am

Syntax wrote:
FancyMancy wrote:
Shael wrote:I think it's a good concept. Provided that it is in a satanic society and only clean people are allowed in, I also think that it should be "free". Not in the sense that the men and women there get no pay of course. Payment would be through the state. I think of it in a similar way to healthcare and housing. Any working member of society who puts in effort towards the betterment of the country, should be provided with these things by default in a satanic world.

I would think that an agreement between customer and worker could be that the worker keeps the sexual orgasm energy for his/her own purposes, as payment. "Money" would be much less prevalent; we'd have energy as 'currency' for a lot of things, instead, perhaps for everything eventually.


See, that's the problem though :/ I don't quite know where to look for a women who would be interested in me, I'm not over weight, or ugly. Just in a moderately sized town about 1-2 hours away from the nearby city. All in all I'm not too worried, I can always do workings to attract a partner. But I also tried online dating, and found that's rigged.

There are a plethora of fake dating sites owned by the same company or companies. I was told by a professional non-sex worker about 1 site, and on there it recommended others. You should always search online for reviews of sites, or simply just register for free and do nothing with your profile. You'd more than likely get inbox messages every day for a while from random "users". In email messages, you see a "user" has looked at your profile, then 2 minutes later has messaged you. The same is for many "users". Others I have read about have experience in chatting with "Dirty slut 4 U", for example - "I'm horny, I'm open, and so are my legs open for you, babe; message me NOW! for quick dirty times" - and then when wanting to move from inbox onto emails, the "Dirty slut 4U" says that they are too worried and afraid and just want to stay chatting via the site's messaging service. If you also read the Ts and Cs, you would also find, on some of them, that it admits there are fake/bot profiles on them, as well.


OkCupid(Cupid being Eros) Is a good site to find people who aren't complete idiots. There are a lot of atheists and pagans on that site who could be taught the truth. My partner is one of them. Also FancyMancy would you be willing to let me email you? I wanted to pick your brain about a few topics and possibly become friends if the situation allows it.

I can't stop you from emailing me, but I don't check them very often. As for an Internet friend - you're not MySpace Tom, are you?! :lol:

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Sat Jul 13, 2019 1:33 pm

FancyMancy wrote:
Syntax wrote:
FancyMancy wrote:I would think that an agreement between customer and worker could be that the worker keeps the sexual orgasm energy for his/her own purposes, as payment. "Money" would be much less prevalent; we'd have energy as 'currency' for a lot of things, instead, perhaps for everything eventually.


There are a plethora of fake dating sites owned by the same company or companies. I was told by a professional non-sex worker about 1 site, and on there it recommended others. You should always search online for reviews of sites, or simply just register for free and do nothing with your profile. You'd more than likely get inbox messages every day for a while from random "users". In email messages, you see a "user" has looked at your profile, then 2 minutes later has messaged you. The same is for many "users". Others I have read about have experience in chatting with "Dirty slut 4 U", for example - "I'm horny, I'm open, and so are my legs open for you, babe; message me NOW! for quick dirty times" - and then when wanting to move from inbox onto emails, the "Dirty slut 4U" says that they are too worried and afraid and just want to stay chatting via the site's messaging service. If you also read the Ts and Cs, you would also find, on some of them, that it admits there are fake/bot profiles on them, as well.


OkCupid(Cupid being Eros) Is a good site to find people who aren't complete idiots. There are a lot of atheists and pagans on that site who could be taught the truth. My partner is one of them. Also FancyMancy would you be willing to let me email you? I wanted to pick your brain about a few topics and possibly become friends if the situation allows it.

I can't stop you from emailing me, but I don't check them very often. As for an Internet friend - you're not MySpace Tom, are you?! :lol:


OH NO MY TRUE IDENTITY HAS BEEN REVELEAD! Nah haha. I do not have your email is the problem. Would you be willing to make or post a protonmail email I can reach you at?

FancyMancy
Posts: 4762

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby FancyMancy » Sun Jul 14, 2019 5:29 am

Syntax wrote:
FancyMancy wrote:
Syntax wrote:
OkCupid(Cupid being Eros) Is a good site to find people who aren't complete idiots. There are a lot of atheists and pagans on that site who could be taught the truth. My partner is one of them. Also FancyMancy would you be willing to let me email you? I wanted to pick your brain about a few topics and possibly become friends if the situation allows it.

I can't stop you from emailing me, but I don't check them very often. As for an Internet friend - you're not MySpace Tom, are you?! :lol:


OH NO MY TRUE IDENTITY HAS BEEN REVELEAD! Nah haha. I do not have your email is the problem. Would you be willing to make or post a protonmail email I can reach you at?

Here's some homework for you - you can check my signature, posts and/or profile to find details. Hint - my profile should let you email me directly, but from on my profile on this forum. Sharing the email address too much increases the risk of more spam/junk arriving.

Syntax
Posts: 283

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Syntax » Sun Jul 14, 2019 1:14 pm

FancyMancy wrote:
Syntax wrote:
FancyMancy wrote:I can't stop you from emailing me, but I don't check them very often. As for an Internet friend - you're not MySpace Tom, are you?! :lol:


OH NO MY TRUE IDENTITY HAS BEEN REVELEAD! Nah haha. I do not have your email is the problem. Would you be willing to make or post a protonmail email I can reach you at?

Here's some homework for you - you can check my signature, posts and/or profile to find details. Hint - my profile should let you email me directly, but from on my profile on this forum. Sharing the email address too much increases the risk of more spam/junk arriving.


I already had searched through your post history and saw the email separate with [ ]. I wasn't sure if you wanted people contacting you with that email but I am glad you are allowing to let me. Thank you.

Godmode2
Posts: 7

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Godmode2 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 6:55 pm

At least it is much less worse than to be actually violent or even a killer. I dont uudge either. I wouldnt be the best for advice here but what if you could re-fetishize "vanilla sex" in your mind somehow?

Godmode2
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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Godmode2 » Mon Aug 19, 2019 9:32 pm

May as well add I actually used to be or maybe am still able to relate, lesser in the sense of furrydom and those mentioned and more regarding polygamy, inappropriate BDSM and weirder stuff like peanut butter and whatever else and yeah how I got around it was making normal sex including simple things like kissing a fetish in my mind again. I no longer want multiple partners or any goofy sexual activity that is dangerous or unrealistic. Inversely it is harder to pursue women and put the effort required in, despite having a much healthier libido, because I fetishize monogamy right off the bat now and dont want to lie to myself or other about how i feel. But its so so so so so much easier to just be alone. I used to not be like this but now Im like a woman and think foreplay and romance is actually a sexual thrill and amplifies sexuality. Well this may not work for all and especially not those addicted to porn and it isnt a replacement for sex but if you can learn astral sex then youll be golden. I honestly couldnt believe it could be so real until I first felt it but its just like the real thing and I came twice without even touching it and thats not an everyday occurance for me. Plus this way you can have sex with and release your emotions for anyone who simultaneously wants it with you in a real way without having to worry about consequences of any kind which is useful for maintaining an existing monogamy too.

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luis
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Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby luis » Mon Aug 19, 2019 11:30 pm

Poweredbythesun wrote:
luis wrote:
Poweredbythesun wrote:In my experience having sex with someone else can help get over some weird fetishes too, not watching porn helps too (i do understand that for someone that doesn't have a partner and has a high libido it may be difficult to not do).


See, that's the problem though :/ I don't quite know where to look for a women who would be interested in me, I'm not over weight, or ugly. Just in a moderately sized town about 1-2 hours away from the nearby city. All in all I'm not too worried, I can always do workings to attract a partner. But I also tried online dating, and found that's rigged.
I do understand your problems but even you don't have to find the perfect partner for you to have sex. Just someone to have sex with and that is it. The only way is magick, even with online dating magick will help. In a normal world we would have prostitute (for both sex and sexual orientation) but we have to do what we can. In this world right now i say to just use magick for sex or to find a compatible partner.


Thanks Luis :) Well, looks like I'll be doing a working soon anyhow. May as well make it for that. Will probably have to start hitting up the local bars too, but I'm sure it'll be worth the trouble to head to the city for a night to do that XD

I know this is old but another advice is to use the rune Thor (i personally prefer the more powerful version Thaur) to unblock your second chakra. It's a powerful rune and it works. This will help you out to make sure you have some normal type of sexuality. I've been using this rune on my base chakra to help me out for some health problem related to the chakra and literally in some few days the problem is much better and i'm not even doing a lot of reps, i really like this rune and i'm sure it can help you too!

Dalacos
Posts: 15

Re: Help with unnatural sexual urges. Please.

Postby Dalacos » Sun Oct 06, 2019 9:17 am

So while this may be my first post I have sadly 'dabbled' in Satanism, for well years now. I was about 17 when I first found this group and honestly i can say to myself I haven't tried nearly enough. In fact I remember when Hp-Shannon first said hello. I've lurked, mainly out of a sense I don't have much to say. I have what i would consider good advice for people in my life yet I don't seem to be able to follow it myself. I'm trying to learn how to read my own astral chart though it is rather complex. A shout out to lydia and Hp-HoodedCobra for being willing to sell a proper reading. The stuff isn't easy imo.

Anyways I can say i relate a lot to this. At one time I was into some rather depressingly sick porn. BBc cukolding and more. Oddly enough I am third-sex or well i believe myself to be. I remember a time when i was very young before i was sexual; talking around first grade; I mainly liked girls but I always had an interest in boys. However i was literally bullied everyday and called a fag and gay. The first porn I did look at was just some breasts. I loved seeing them it was awesome. Then it was mainly normal but once i found I could see boys it was all i wanted. I've only had sexual encounters while males, however only twice have I enjoyed it out of all the times. Honestly I just always said yes cause i was like "how could I pass it up no one ever hits on me". [Ok just something strange happening I meditated before making the account and coming on here but all of a sudden my neck feels coldish in the back I believe its behind my throat chakra and my back down my spine a bit hurts for no reason just out of the blue] Don't get me wrong I am not ugly. Well i used to believe I was. In fact once upon a time i hated my blue eyes. I thought they were 'dull'. I was young and watched full metal alchemist brotherhood and wrath was my favorite toon. Mainly cause he was a sword fighter which I've always been drawn to. I love it. Any time i've done it IRL it was so relaxing and fun. Through maybe it was just a way for me to relive aggression cause when I do it I just get sorta aggro. I dont hesitate and I just go for it. I kept a natural form i just picked up without ever trying and i just try to win. It's easy for I guess. Makes me feel good like I'm finally good at something. More to the point though [ugh this is turning into such a long post sorry HP :( ] his eyes enticed me. They felt sexy so I wished for them. I mean hard, and true to what they say watch what you wish for. I happened. I didn't care till I came here. Then i felt so sorry i had lost that color. I felt like i betrayed myself. Though I will say this. When ever I do stop being lazy my eyes seem to turn more blue. My eyes currently our more blue then they have been in many years. Still largish slivers of that light green color but dislike it; but I'm getting much better about loving myself. I think the only thing I've always loved was I was tall. Not overly so but i'm 6'0' and I love it. Whenever I meditate right I start walking with a stride in my step and I feel like I look down on everything. Not in a better then way just in a relaxed I look good feel good way. Like I'm peacocking to myself; but all this took years. I mean years, and I think it may be why I am the way I am. I mean I can get off on st8 porn but it is only cause of the guy. Yet I find Females beautiful as well as Males. I'd loved to have a child with a wonderful woman but I don't think I could be as involved in her sex life as she would deserve. Honestly I've felt like my perfect relationship would be with a fellow Aryan who is female with an incubus. Though I think I'd like me and her each to have one. Only cause well I literally can get off between 10 to 20 times a day. I mean when I don't have time it isn't that big a deal, but If i'm just home then I cant stop getting honry and in the mood. Though I doubt I'm anywhere near like a god. Ive seen that post were Hp-Maxine is like "He had to PUSH HER OFF she was so just active." Paraphrasing, but you get the idea. I don't know. Personality I want to help my races birth rates. It saddens me deeply. I was playing swtor and there was this massive discussion and this guy posted something like "its sad soon germany will only be 50% white then 30% then 10% then nothing, sad that such a great nation with a beauty culture and history will be erased" and it just made me angry and sad and hurt and just ugh on edge. I feel its my duty to have children but i also don't think third sex should have kids. I mean every home is better with a stable mother and father. I just am so unsure in life i guess.

Did I ever even ask a damn question? I don't think so. I mean I feel i've need to just talk about this forever so I'm gonna keep it all here. I guess if I had to ask a question it would be, Why was I seemingly able to change my eye color so easily? Can someone be made gay over being bullied about it ? [i mean it seems like it was just something to call me but they all seemed to really mean it almost like they either knew or were told some how but I didnt even know I was or could be at the time] When ,if ever, should I ask for an incubus cause I know right now I am not worthy of them. They feel so deeply and I cant even cry anymore really. The last time I did my , ugh, dad made me do it from being so mean. I felt it so deeply. Like a real cut deep in my emotional being. Well I also semi cried over my dog dying but by then I was getting into my depression phase in life and i couldn't feel much. I mean I have emotions. Like idk how to put it my brain knowns them, and like i feel happiness now more then ever thanks to Jos, but i dont have the ability to cry or get truly upset. Like my anger comes in a flash then leaves. Its one thing I've always tied to do with rtrs or anything. no matter what i read about or just to stoke my fire with it just seems to vanish. However there was one time I did get blinding flashing rage, and I am buzzing hot and it only happened when telling my dad off for how hurt me made me feel and how it was all his fault I am the way even though he blames my mom for everything, just typical xian BULLSHIT, but sadly it was over the phone. So idk if that even counts as getting it off my chest. I mean I guess after saying this I kinda have a revelation. I like bully porn, my dad was my first bully, I don't love him but at one time i every much did and i do got 'daddy issues' so could some how in a sick way it all be attributed to him. o.O fuck i hope not. Ugh seem to any newbie trust me. I DONT CARE IF SOMEONE IS GONNA SHOOT YOU INT YOUR BELLY FUCKING MEDITATE DO IT NOW! Don't waste years Like I've dont. And fuck any and all drugs. Shit is horrible. I've chugged cough syrup. Amazing fucking 'high' best thing I used to loved to do; but know one it gave me? CON-tentment. Thats is all it does. Cons you into thinking your doing 'just fine' when your not. Handle your life is all I gotta say.

I have to say on a finally note about an incubus I've always loved the idea they could help me. They would be someone who could just slap me look me in the eyes kiss me and tell me the right thing to do and I wouldn't argue or fight it. I'd just feel loved and cared for.


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