Since coming to Satanism my life has changed for the better in almost every way possible. However I still can't shake the feeling of always being on the outside of society. I can never embrace who I truly am around my "friends" and most people in my life who just get black out drunk or do drugs to numb the pain of their lives. All my romantic relationships always hit this wall of their goyim soul clashing hard with my Satanic soul and values. My family was extremely emotionally neglectful when I was a child so I've distanced myself from them quite a bit to stay out of their bullshit. Through Satan and many of the wonderful people of this community I've learned to take care of myself, stand on my own two feet, and to strive to be the best person I can become. But I crave deep emotional connection with others, not that it will make me feel whole I want to not feel like the only fish swimming in the sea of my life. People tell me I'm great, amazing, charming, and all that but I only give these people the surface of my true character.

Any suggestions on how I can not feel so lonesome all the time and feel a sense of community and connection with other people? My biggest desire in life is to build a family that I can love and truly be myself with and share my knowledge and experiences with.

Tough Fish said:

Since coming to Satanism my life has changed for the better in almost every way possible. However I still can't shake the feeling of always being on the outside of society. I can never embrace who I truly am around my "friends" and most people in my life who just get black out drunk or do drugs to numb the pain of their lives. All my romantic relationships always hit this wall of their goyim soul clashing hard with my Satanic soul and values. My family was extremely emotionally neglectful when I was a child so I've distanced myself from them quite a bit to stay out of their bullshit. Through Satan and many of the wonderful people of this community I've learned to take care of myself, stand on my own two feet, and to strive to be the best person I can become. But I crave deep emotional connection with others, not that it will make me feel whole I want to not feel like the only fish swimming in the sea of my life. People tell me I'm great, amazing, charming, and all that but I only give these people the surface of my true character.

Any suggestions on how I can not feel so lonesome all the time and feel a sense of community and connection with other people? My biggest desire in life is to build a family that I can love and truly be myself with and share my knowledge and experiences with.

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There are many of us here who know how you feel. I even get the same way with feeling lonely-- I still do in a way. After a while, especially when developing the power of our souls, we get sensitive and desire depth of feeling and connecting. But it is a lonely path in Satanism because we are becoming above the average person.

Take this time to develop your soul until that time comes. You can also ask Satan to guide you in meeting a worthy person. Obviously there are many good people out there even though they aren't Satanists.

We are all family here and what helps my loneliness is coming on the groups and forums, interacting with the gods and staying busy with meditation.

We're here for you.

I've felt the same way babe. What Shannon said was pretty much what i've been trying to get myself to do, with a bit of my own strategies ofcourse. I've become more of a "stand outie" person as ive progressed, and may i say i've progressed immensly in such a short time. What makes it easier for me is i just remember im not going to see most people i meet out here ever again and i be a center of attention. Sure i don't really have much friends, but i keep freinds that i can actually have fun with and rarely argue with. As always im not to great at explaining things, really wish i could just go over to you and help you out. What i'de say is to find the power in yourself. I express the true me little by little around my friends and others so whatever might seem surprising about me is taken in little bites so they can get use to it. Finding online friends you can share common qualities with is a nice motivator too. And always remember that you have your FAMILY here with you. I from time to time think about my family of fellow Satanists and always hope the best for them. I always wish i could help even though i can't. Whenever i get lonely i just talk to mother Lilith, she's always been there to confort me even if i can't hear what she might be saying. *Hugs you* love ya buddy! good luck and may the Gods help you shape your life into what you want it to be.

Thank you both very much for your kind and insightful words. You are very right, as Satanists we are destined for so much more and are beyond blessed to have the love the gods have for us. I had almost forgotten the commandments Satan has given us.

"I exercise dominion over all creatures and over the affairs of all who are under the protection of my image. I am ever present to help all who trust in me and call upon me in time of need. "

Since writing this post I have felt an absolute deep and renewed connection with not only the gods and this community, but with those who are without. Many people often strangers come up to me just to hear me speak, I'm not sure what has changed but it is quite strange to me. To all the SS out there we have that something humanity desires greatly, connection with our soul and creator. But they must be willing to seek it, I have been disappointed and destroyed many relationships due to reaching out to people.
Help yourself first, always.