I'm sorry everyone for asking the same thing just about every new person asks, not to mention the fact that I'm not really new.
I'm 31 and I've been going through a lot this past year. I've done a lot of meditation on and off, yet the only thing I end up doing is cleaning, protection, Rituals and (sometime) working on opening chakras.
I feel at a point now where I'm quite frustrated with myself for letting myself sort-of go because of potentially incurable health problems to the gut. This was due to an emergency surgery during my birth.
That being said, I've got my X-ray and a meeting with a doctor soon. I've been working on myself a lot lately. I stopped going to the bar completely which has been very hard because I have friends there who I like to sing karaoke with. The reason for me has been due to cannabis and a constant falling back into things that are harmful to me.
I'd like to transform myself as much as I can and make sure I stay on that path. I can't tell you guys how challenging depression can be and how it affects our subconscious and (by extent) our actions. There is a part of me that wishes to be dead and to be free from all the pain and unfairness in this world. It becomes very hard to have a positive mind when your someone like me; a person who cannot stop thinking and contemplating all things and who seeks to understand the root of all those things.
I tend to be overly-analytical and black and white about literally all things in my life and I often cannot accept 'grey' areas or things in-between. I feel that this mindset combined with my depression has a compounding affect. It like if one thing goes wrong, all things tend to go to chaos.
Anyway... whatever you've got (maybe some good runes or a rosary, anything) would be so much appreciated. I get major anxiety looking through the meditations page and trying to figure out what's best for me at any given time, hence why I tend to focus on energy-breathing and opening chakras.

