Welcome to our New Forums!

Our forums have been upgraded and expanded!

I have no reason to live

Bmwm3gtr

New member
Joined
May 18, 2023
Messages
66
I have no reason to live.
IF I got a job in society,
I'LL BE to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
I born to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
To earn a job and money,
It's just a duty.
I don't even have a job I want to have.
These days, I want to do something related to dead bodies.
I'm not afraid of blood and bodies.
I am not happy with MY life.
I love myself.
But I'm not happy.
When I wake up in the morning, I hold myself in my arms
Sometimes I kiss MY SELF TOO.
I try to find what I like every day
I do hobbies, too
Do at least 50 push-ups a day.
SOMEtimes I do 100 push-ups.
I also meditate steadily every day.
It's not that I'm not happy because I'm lazy!
I be skilled fear of death.
I was neglected by my parents even when I had COVID-19
There was a time when I broke my rib while working out
Even then, my parents was neglect for a few days.
I could have gone to the hospital by myself
I don't have good social skills,
I wasn't even in a physical condition where I could go to the hospital by myself.
One day, I went to the emergency room because of a panic disorder
Then I felt the fear of death.
The medical staff in Korea have a good sense of duty and are very friendly.
I saw it with my own eyes.
I was forced to go to school every day in that state
The state of school is trash.
I graduated from a technical high school
The hallway smells like cigarettes and the students are bullies
I couldn't rest when I was mentally broken
I was healing myself well
One day in my class,
someone with the same last name as me
HE fell down with epilepsy.
HIS eyes are upside down, and HE bite HIS tongue
HE bleeding.
I was so shocked at that time that I ran home.
I haven't slept in three days with shock
I barely fell asleep after taking the panic disorder Medication Xanax.
This society justifies abuse.
So I wanted practice abuse
SO I FOUND the strongest and strictest GODS on JOS site
I asked the gods,
DO emotionally abusive TO ME TO practice abuse
And a few days later, I asked GODS hit ME with YOUR ALL POWER .
I didn't ask for this because of my feelings,Emotion.
I was determined to be hit.
Of course they didn't hit me.
I'm not afraid suicide.
I'm skilled pain,Fear of death!
I fought panic disorder and won.
I am brave!
There is nothing I want to do on earth.
I am not afraid. To be unhappy by suicide in the next life
I'm not afraid to be born with a negative karma
Because I'm brave
I'm strong Enough
If you think I'm kid, Blame ME
I don't care
 
Okay....
 
I have no reason to live.
IF I got a job in society,
I'LL BE to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
I born to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
To earn a job and money,
It's just a duty.
I don't even have a job I want to have.
These days, I want to do something related to dead bodies.
I'm not afraid of blood and bodies.
I am not happy with MY life.
I love myself.
But I'm not happy.
When I wake up in the morning, I hold myself in my arms
Sometimes I kiss MY SELF TOO.
I try to find what I like every day
I do hobbies, too
Do at least 50 push-ups a day.
SOMEtimes I do 100 push-ups.
I also meditate steadily every day.
It's not that I'm not happy because I'm lazy!
I be skilled fear of death.
I was neglected by my parents even when I had COVID-19
There was a time when I broke my rib while working out
Even then, my parents was neglect for a few days.
I could have gone to the hospital by myself
I don't have good social skills,
I wasn't even in a physical condition where I could go to the hospital by myself.
One day, I went to the emergency room because of a panic disorder
Then I felt the fear of death.
The medical staff in Korea have a good sense of duty and are very friendly.
I saw it with my own eyes.
I was forced to go to school every day in that state
The state of school is trash.
I graduated from a technical high school
The hallway smells like cigarettes and the students are bullies
I couldn't rest when I was mentally broken
I was healing myself well
One day in my class,
someone with the same last name as me
HE fell down with epilepsy.
HIS eyes are upside down, and HE bite HIS tongue
HE bleeding.
I was so shocked at that time that I ran home.
I haven't slept in three days with shock
I barely fell asleep after taking the panic disorder Medication Xanax.
This society justifies abuse.
So I wanted practice abuse
SO I FOUND the strongest and strictest GODS on JOS site
I asked the gods,
DO emotionally abusive TO ME TO practice abuse
And a few days later, I asked GODS hit ME with YOUR ALL POWER .
I didn't ask for this because of my feelings,Emotion.
I was determined to be hit.
Of course they didn't hit me.
I'm not afraid suicide.
I'm skilled pain,Fear of death!
I fought panic disorder and won.
I am brave!
There is nothing I want to do on earth.
I am not afraid. To be unhappy by suicide in the next life
I'm not afraid to be born with a negative karma
Because I'm brave
I'm strong Enough
If you think I'm kid, Blame ME
I don't care
I believe you are in a rather fragile psychological situation and your view of what is real is temporarily compromised. It doesn't matter, we'll work on it.

What is important for now is to understand a discussion on the reasons for living. There are no reasons to live like "parents' love" or "one's friends", etc. I've never had these things either, but I don't kill myself because apparently I lack reasons to live.

This is because I am completely aware that the only REAL reason to live is life itself which you can exploit to become something better and do good for yourself and others.

The love of others is just an extra good thing. But other things will never be reasons to continue living, because there are no other reasons to live other than the fact that you are alive and the great opportunity that this entails, as I explained to you. The rest can determine your happiness of course, but it is not strictly related to the "pros and cons of living".

You are confusing the reasons to live with the reasons to be very happy. And it is a common mistake, but it should be avoided as other types of errors in reasoning should be avoided.
 
I have no reason to live.
IF I got a job in society,
I'LL BE to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
I born to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
To earn a job and money,
It's just a duty.
I don't even have a job I want to have.
These days, I want to do something related to dead bodies.
I'm not afraid of blood and bodies.
I am not happy with MY life.
I love myself.
But I'm not happy.
When I wake up in the morning, I hold myself in my arms
Sometimes I kiss MY SELF TOO.
I try to find what I like every day
I do hobbies, too
Do at least 50 push-ups a day.
SOMEtimes I do 100 push-ups.
I also meditate steadily every day.
It's not that I'm not happy because I'm lazy!
I be skilled fear of death.
I was neglected by my parents even when I had COVID-19
There was a time when I broke my rib while working out
Even then, my parents was neglect for a few days.
I could have gone to the hospital by myself
I don't have good social skills,
I wasn't even in a physical condition where I could go to the hospital by myself.
One day, I went to the emergency room because of a panic disorder
Then I felt the fear of death.
The medical staff in Korea have a good sense of duty and are very friendly.
I saw it with my own eyes.
I was forced to go to school every day in that state
The state of school is trash.
I graduated from a technical high school
The hallway smells like cigarettes and the students are bullies
I couldn't rest when I was mentally broken
I was healing myself well
One day in my class,
someone with the same last name as me
HE fell down with epilepsy.
HIS eyes are upside down, and HE bite HIS tongue
HE bleeding.
I was so shocked at that time that I ran home.
I haven't slept in three days with shock
I barely fell asleep after taking the panic disorder Medication Xanax.
This society justifies abuse.
So I wanted practice abuse
SO I FOUND the strongest and strictest GODS on JOS site
I asked the gods,
DO emotionally abusive TO ME TO practice abuse
And a few days later, I asked GODS hit ME with YOUR ALL POWER .
I didn't ask for this because of my feelings,Emotion.
I was determined to be hit.
Of course they didn't hit me.
I'm not afraid suicide.
I'm skilled pain,Fear of death!
I fought panic disorder and won.
I am brave!
There is nothing I want to do on earth.
I am not afraid. To be unhappy by suicide in the next life
I'm not afraid to be born with a negative karma
Because I'm brave
I'm strong Enough
If you think I'm kid, Blame ME
I don't care
Think about it, the essence of yourself, you, your soul, is linked to Lord Satanas, the Lord of the Universe, and humans are supposed to follow his path and become just like him.

You are not a random entity, or whatever, the very essence of you is divine. I'm not feeding your ego or whatever, I'm saying facts, you just have to enbrace it.

Many things you thinks as facts about yourself, life and society are false, you were programmed to believe certain things like everyone else. It's called matrix after all.

You need to deprogram yourself, and slowly and consinstently improve and getting closer to Satan.

If you are not scared of death, why didn't you put those energies of yours at work, and improve?

Don't waste yourself, you didn't even know yourself.

Also look at the Virtues, they also explain things about reality.
 
I have no reason to live.
IF I got a job in society,
I'LL BE to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
I born to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
To earn a job and money,
It's just a duty.
I don't even have a job I want to have.
These days, I want to do something related to dead bodies.
I'm not afraid of blood and bodies.
I am not happy with MY life.
I love myself.
But I'm not happy.
When I wake up in the morning, I hold myself in my arms
Sometimes I kiss MY SELF TOO.
I try to find what I like every day
I do hobbies, too
Do at least 50 push-ups a day.
SOMEtimes I do 100 push-ups.
I also meditate steadily every day.
It's not that I'm not happy because I'm lazy!
I be skilled fear of death.
I was neglected by my parents even when I had COVID-19
There was a time when I broke my rib while working out
Even then, my parents was neglect for a few days.
I could have gone to the hospital by myself
I don't have good social skills,
I wasn't even in a physical condition where I could go to the hospital by myself.
One day, I went to the emergency room because of a panic disorder
Then I felt the fear of death.
The medical staff in Korea have a good sense of duty and are very friendly.
I saw it with my own eyes.
I was forced to go to school every day in that state
The state of school is trash.
I graduated from a technical high school
The hallway smells like cigarettes and the students are bullies
I couldn't rest when I was mentally broken
I was healing myself well
One day in my class,
someone with the same last name as me
HE fell down with epilepsy.
HIS eyes are upside down, and HE bite HIS tongue
HE bleeding.
I was so shocked at that time that I ran home.
I haven't slept in three days with shock
I barely fell asleep after taking the panic disorder Medication Xanax.
This society justifies abuse.
So I wanted practice abuse
SO I FOUND the strongest and strictest GODS on JOS site
I asked the gods,
DO emotionally abusive TO ME TO practice abuse
And a few days later, I asked GODS hit ME with YOUR ALL POWER .
I didn't ask for this because of my feelings,Emotion.
I was determined to be hit.
Of course they didn't hit me.
I'm not afraid suicide.
I'm skilled pain,Fear of death!
I fought panic disorder and won.
I am brave!
There is nothing I want to do on earth.
I am not afraid. To be unhappy by suicide in the next life
I'm not afraid to be born with a negative karma
Because I'm brave
I'm strong Enough
If you think I'm kid, Blame ME
I don't care

Brother, you are showing strong signs of emotional trauma and pain. That does not mean you are not strong, but it can cause subconscious feelings like that pain is always incoming or even something that should happen somehow. This can be a psychological coping mechanism to establish control in an area of your life that may feel out of control.

Please research PTSD and similar traumatic disorders and implement some healing methods. Read about other people and even join some online support groups. If you have medical insurance or access, please sign up for therapy to help you process your emotions.
 
I have no reason to live.
IF I got a job in society,
I'LL BE to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
I born to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
To earn a job and money,
It's just a duty.
I don't even have a job I want to have.
These days, I want to do something related to dead bodies.
I'm not afraid of blood and bodies.
I am not happy with MY life.
I love myself.
But I'm not happy.
When I wake up in the morning, I hold myself in my arms
Sometimes I kiss MY SELF TOO.
I try to find what I like every day
I do hobbies, too
Do at least 50 push-ups a day.
SOMEtimes I do 100 push-ups.
I also meditate steadily every day.
It's not that I'm not happy because I'm lazy!
I be skilled fear of death.
I was neglected by my parents even when I had COVID-19
There was a time when I broke my rib while working out
Even then, my parents was neglect for a few days.
I could have gone to the hospital by myself
I don't have good social skills,
I wasn't even in a physical condition where I could go to the hospital by myself.
One day, I went to the emergency room because of a panic disorder
Then I felt the fear of death.
The medical staff in Korea have a good sense of duty and are very friendly.
I saw it with my own eyes.
I was forced to go to school every day in that state
The state of school is trash.
I graduated from a technical high school
The hallway smells like cigarettes and the students are bullies
I couldn't rest when I was mentally broken
I was healing myself well
One day in my class,
someone with the same last name as me
HE fell down with epilepsy.
HIS eyes are upside down, and HE bite HIS tongue
HE bleeding.
I was so shocked at that time that I ran home.
I haven't slept in three days with shock
I barely fell asleep after taking the panic disorder Medication Xanax.
This society justifies abuse.
So I wanted practice abuse
SO I FOUND the strongest and strictest GODS on JOS site
I asked the gods,
DO emotionally abusive TO ME TO practice abuse
And a few days later, I asked GODS hit ME with YOUR ALL POWER .
I didn't ask for this because of my feelings,Emotion.
I was determined to be hit.
Of course they didn't hit me.
I'm not afraid suicide.
I'm skilled pain,Fear of death!
I fought panic disorder and won.
I am brave!
There is nothing I want to do on earth.
I am not afraid. To be unhappy by suicide in the next life
I'm not afraid to be born with a negative karma
Because I'm brave
I'm strong Enough
If you think I'm kid, Blame ME
I don't care

What you went through here, and even anything from past lives, can cause these extreme feelings and behaviors, as well as feeling a lack of happiness, as well as simultaneous fear of death or not being afraid to die, and so on.

These are symptoms associated with emotional trauma and many other people have experienced and healed from them, too. For example, the medical staff and other emergency workers can deal with a lot of this, as they encounter death all the time. However, you have to take some steps to get this under control, as these strong events and experiences impact the soul and need to be processed properly, otherwise it can manifest as out of control emotions and feelings.

The event of shock from classmate could register in your emotions as a strong feeling of being unsafe. Combined with other abuse, this can lead to suicidal and panic behaviors.

Our emotions and lunar energies give a sense of nurturing of life. The moon deals in cycles of life, death, and rebirth. The moon helps us sense, process, and release emotions. When it is hung up and "stuck" on the part of death, this can cause a deranged feeling, as well as actual physical symptoms.

When the body is calm, it is able to nourish itself and sustain life, as well as sleep and recuperate itself. When this feels threatened, the opposite happens and stress and panic accumulate, plus insomnia. So, you have to do some psychological healing work to convince your brain that life can exist, despite what you had felt or seen.

What happened to your classmate, for example, was not a freak accident, but something that was building in energy over time. It is not something that just happens for no reason and without the ability to stop it. Further, the grotesque nature of the incident itself could have further amplified the feeling of "unraveling" of life, which shocked you. However, remind yourself that this is normal in cases of death. Death is not pretty, to put it lightly, nor is it simple like we see in movies.

Therefore, you have to calm yourself down and tell yourself that the event was sad and scary, but things are under control now. What you saw was normal for epileptic tragedies. His soul will be reborn and eventually heal, just as your own soul will learn to heal and grow.
 
I have no reason to live.
IF I got a job in society,
I'LL BE to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
I born to be hurt, reviled, and humiliated.
To earn a job and money,
It's just a duty.
I don't even have a job I want to have.
These days, I want to do something related to dead bodies.
I'm not afraid of blood and bodies.
I am not happy with MY life.
I love myself.
But I'm not happy.
When I wake up in the morning, I hold myself in my arms
Sometimes I kiss MY SELF TOO.
I try to find what I like every day
I do hobbies, too
Do at least 50 push-ups a day.
SOMEtimes I do 100 push-ups.
I also meditate steadily every day.
It's not that I'm not happy because I'm lazy!
I be skilled fear of death.
I was neglected by my parents even when I had COVID-19
There was a time when I broke my rib while working out
Even then, my parents was neglect for a few days.
I could have gone to the hospital by myself
I don't have good social skills,
I wasn't even in a physical condition where I could go to the hospital by myself.
One day, I went to the emergency room because of a panic disorder
Then I felt the fear of death.
The medical staff in Korea have a good sense of duty and are very friendly.
I saw it with my own eyes.
I was forced to go to school every day in that state
The state of school is trash.
I graduated from a technical high school
The hallway smells like cigarettes and the students are bullies
I couldn't rest when I was mentally broken
I was healing myself well
One day in my class,
someone with the same last name as me
HE fell down with epilepsy.
HIS eyes are upside down, and HE bite HIS tongue
HE bleeding.
I was so shocked at that time that I ran home.
I haven't slept in three days with shock
I barely fell asleep after taking the panic disorder Medication Xanax.
This society justifies abuse.
So I wanted practice abuse
SO I FOUND the strongest and strictest GODS on JOS site
I asked the gods,
DO emotionally abusive TO ME TO practice abuse
And a few days later, I asked GODS hit ME with YOUR ALL POWER .
I didn't ask for this because of my feelings,Emotion.
I was determined to be hit.
Of course they didn't hit me.
I'm not afraid suicide.
I'm skilled pain,Fear of death!
I fought panic disorder and won.
I am brave!
There is nothing I want to do on earth.
I am not afraid. To be unhappy by suicide in the next life
I'm not afraid to be born with a negative karma
Because I'm brave
I'm strong Enough
If you think I'm kid, Blame ME
I don't care
Please promise me this before you go and do something negative
Go and do yoga everyday hatha and kundalini and pray to father satan there is always a way I know at times it might not seem like but I promise it will improve
 

Al Jilwah: Chapter IV

"It is my desire that all my followers unite in a bond of unity, lest those who are without prevail against them." - Satan

Back
Top