AskSatanOperator
Well-known member
Greetings I'm curious about just how different are you from other beliefs not the practice but the human psychology part I mean many people (myself included) when undergo severe trauma are disillusioned with their respective faith, have any of you keep going even after catastrophic events holding on to your beliefs? Since this is anonymous I will have no problem sharing, like many I was raised in a abrahamic sect and after many traumatizing episodes I left with the clear option either God doesn't exist or he is a monster, my mother was a failed rebellious young adult that married a drug addict they both got hiv my father died when I was 3 my mother rushed to fill the void and joined with a alcoholic who beat her then she abandoned me left me with my grandma that cared for me but was more concerned with indoctrinating me into the Christian sect that she was a part of, then my mother got another guy and I started visiting her, he seemed fine but latter I discovered that he was only interested in partaking of the money and state benefits(rent discount) my mother got from the government for being hiv positive, he was a mix blood gypsy parasite and a pedophile that would beat be for peeing in bed and tryed to abuse me and when I resisted he would lock me in a dark room for hours on end, I was afraid so I didnt tell anyone I was (4)alas she abandoned me again and joined yet another addict however this one was not a pedophile alcoholic and did not beat her, then for reasons unknown she stopped taking medicine and died a slow death almost becoming a 40kg decaying creature, to add to my suffering I witnessed the deaths of my grandpa aunt and lastly my grandma, and thus I was alone in a mausuleum of death, how can I deal with this and have faith I tried to join you but I have a hard time with commitment and often I fall into nihilism
I don't drink I don't smoke I don't do drugs I'm married have a son but this wheys me down no matter how mutch I bury the past it's here, I want peace, thank you for your patience and if possible guide me
I don't drink I don't smoke I don't do drugs I'm married have a son but this wheys me down no matter how mutch I bury the past it's here, I want peace, thank you for your patience and if possible guide me