Question #2102: Alcoholism

[AskSatanOperator]

Sorry in advance for me swearing a lot. Idk if it’s acceptable to do so here or not.

Also this is a pretty long post I think so sorry about that as well. Don’t bother reading if you don’t want to. No one’s forcing you to.

Anyway

How the fuck do I even go about fixing this. I’ve been part of JOS for multiple months now so not too long but I still know this fucking mess of an addiction will forever hold me back and I can’t get rid of it. I’ve tried so many things to quit and always fail. I feel like the weakest fucking person here. I never want to mention it on here because I don’t want to be judged or ridiculed or lectured for it because I know how bad it is hence why I’m making this post because I don’t want to ruin my life or die from this and I just want to be free but a major part of me refuses to let go and it doesn’t matter how many lectures I get about my health or mind or hearing about holes in my aura, none of it gets alcoholism’s fucking hooks out of me. I feel like I’m completely helpless like I seriously can’t go without alcohol for more than 15-20 hours without very severe cravings and nothing works to get rid of them. I don’t want to go to Alcoholics Anonymous because from what I’ve heard they’re all just religious and I deal with that shit enough within my own family, I don’t need more people shoving the xian lies down my throat and making me feel even worse. And any other courses for alcoholics that I’ve seen all cost hundreds of dollars which I don’t have the money for and I don’t want to waste money buying them when I know they’ll all just be more of the same bullshit. I don’t want to spend every day trying to avoid alcohol, I just want to be free and not even care about it let alone have to fight cravings every fucking day if that makes sense. I don’t want to drink at all. My father spent all day every day my whole life making the decision to either drink or not drink and it just seemed like torture for him. and any time he gave in and drank he’d hurt the rest of us. I don’t want to go through that pain of fighting off cravings every day. I just want to be free and not give a shit about or a single thought towards alcohol. I feel like I can never be free though because the majority of my being is completely hooked on it and the tiny bit of dopamine or whatever that it gives my brain whenever I do drink feels impossible to convince my brain and entire being that it WILL be better without it if that makes sense. All I feel is endless cravings for the next drink. When does it end??

I apologize for the long post and for cussing or whatever during it. I just don’t know what other words to use. I just hate that this seems to be the way I and all my family has always been. I want to be free. At least part of me does and it seems that until all of me internalizes just how bad this poison is that it’s not gonna let go. But it’s like those pictures they put on cigarette boxes, it doesn’t really stop anyone, it’s disturbing but they’re too addicted and their mind doesn’t let them stop no matter how many fucked up images they throw on there. I’ve heard so much bad shit about alcohol and I’ve experienced a lot of it myself that I seem to be desensitized to it. I know it’s really fucking bad but my brain is so used to all that info about how bad it is that it seems to have given up and accepted that this is just the way it is. And clearly at least some part of me is screaming to be free but it feels impossible bc it’s my daily routine to always drink. Even if I manage a few days, even a week without it, I’ll always relapse back.

Why is my mind so fucking weak. I hate myself for this. I want to be free. I’m so fucking done with this.

I need help. Not judgement or a lecture on it being bad for me. I can’t go to anyone around me because all of them are hyper-religious and extremely xian.

I’m genuinely scared for my health, mind, and soul but no matter what I’ve tried, I cannot seem to break the daily cravings. I’ve gone up to a few weeks ONE time since back being a teenager and that’s it until I broke and binge-drank again. I can’t imagine I’m the only one here that deals with this. I just want help.

I know there’s other posts on this site about alcoholism and whatnot but I’m so drained right now and this drug/poison has beat me down to nothing.

I feel like an empty husk of a person. I hate this so much but as soon as I’m away from it for a bit I just start getting severe cravings again and major fomo(fear of missing out). I know I’ll just get responses telling me to man up and get the fuck over it but I’m so done with life and everything that I just fucking can’t. I feel like there’s not even a real answer to this problem, I feel like this poison has already destroyed me and clawed its way into every part of me. I seriously want help

I keep seeing on the main site and sometimes on this forum here and there about how only the strong survive or can make it here or strong-minded/willed or whatever. So like what about me. Am I supposed to just go on and accept my fate of forever destroying myself because I’m just not in a mental state where I’m strong enough to deal with this on my own in this lifetime??

Since I can’t reply back on forums from anonymous posts is there someone I can contact on here about this?

 

[NakedPluto [JG]]

Cravings don't go away because of your willingness or not, they are there because the body communicates to you. You don't change the craving but your response to it.

You know what you have to do, do it. Also, to truly change this, change wholly your life. Regardless of these, as you are aware of the help that is on the internet and options, if you need a stronger and more absolute command to help yourself here, I would tell you that you do not have true purpose and responsibility in life. If you find this, you find all the power in the world to destroy death by a thousand. This is not so easy to materialize in life but sincerely look inward for that responsibility that you have in life and what you have to do practically and by actual work.

Look up also to strong men surrounding you. Are they missing? Not those who drink like you, but those that would positively beat the shit out of you because they love you and don't want you to die. In a way you have to find these elements that a purely masculine and bear them and assimilate them, as if you don't give up this nightmare that is on you by the easy path, you need to find a way to shake the foundations and fight this out, by people and purpose.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

....

It is very common for people with addictions to feel like failures, especially as they are worn down by the problem. It is important that you realize that there is a limit to how much you attack yourself. You have already identified this as a problem in your life and have all the emotions about a desire to change.

The above is said not to dissuade you from seeking help, but so that you remain enduring whilst you fight this problem, as it will not go away overnight. You cannot take a relapse to mean a total failure, because this is not the case at all. Your fight is not a black or white one, but it can feel like that due to the intensity of the binge.

With that being said, you must employ all available physical and spiritual solutions. As you are acquainted with JoS, you must be doing your best to meditate and follow the path, regardless of difficulties. This will maintain your health, but also offer you more spiritual solutions, like freeing the soul.

In regards to alcoholics anonymous, or other free services available to you, yes you should be doing these. They will not force you to pray, nor will any of their christian nonsense mean anything. Getting treatment so that you can become a strong Satanist should be your primary concern. Alcoholics anonymous represents a social support circle, even if it is not perfect. Being a part of that is helpful to recovery.

For example, you figuring out how to recovery while managing withdrawals is a big question that you need to solve for yourself, and this is something that recovered people, or other support circles, could answer for you. I don't have the answer for this, but I know it is out there somewhere, and you must find it.

You should also take advantage of hypnosis, which can serve as a powerful tool for changing the mind.
https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/addiction-help/alcohol-abuse
https://www.hypnosisdownloads.com/addiction-help/alcohol

The above options are relatively cheap, plus they are pre-recorded and therefore less likely to have any malicious programming. I have tried some of their products before (a long time ago) and it definitely helps.

However, just keep in mind that you need to employ soul level treatments, but to do this you need to buy yourself the time and space in which to build your soul's power, despite the damage from any drinking.

As this is an extreme problem, you should definitely reach out for guidance from Buer: https://satanisgod.org/www.angelfire.com/empire/serpentis666/DEMONIV.html/index.html#BUER

Ask him for guidance, and also make sure to meditate on his sigil daily.

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Focus on solutions, rather than feeling destroyed. You are not at the end yet. Recovery is definitely possible and needs to be on the forefront of your mind. You are not a failure. Struggle is normal within human affairs, especially with drinking and other addictions.

Going a week or days without drinking means your body has a chance to recover. This is a victory, even if it is followed by a binge. It buys yourself time and freedom, and gives space for healing. It should not be taken as a "worse defeat" than simply drinking all day.

 

[Ol argedco luciftias]

Try AA. It doesn't work for all people, but it has worked for very many. It has been more successful than any other kind of program. And even if many members are christian, the program itself is not. There is a part about accepting a higher power, but that does not mean a christian "god." The higher power can be any reason why you have to heal yourself. It's mostly about changing your mindset and changing the way you think about problems.

 

[Stormblood]

I think a big part of it is also mental health. If you improve your self-confidence and other important "bricks" of your mental health, you quit easily. And any craving afterward, you just change the response like advised.

 

[Sigourney]

FYI this man isn't affiliated with the Jos in any way but maybe watching this will help? It's worth a shot...

No matter what, always stay on top of cleaning your soul and meditating. Make time for it every day and know that we can only help you so much and real progress will come from your personal willpower and efforts. On top of that you should seek help from a professional who has experience in helping alcoholics, someone who can give real medical advice.

 

[Stormblood]

I think a big part of it is also mental health. If you improve your self-confidence and other important "bricks" of your mental health, you quit easily. And any craving afterward, you just change the response like advised.

You can also notice you don't have any craving. For example, when I quit smoking and vaping several years ago, I had zero cravings. Same with alcohol. Yet when I tried quitting another addiction, I struggled a lot.