PLEASE HELP ME..

[Tody666]

I've loged with my old account because I'm too ashamed to post on the real one...

I will start by saying that I had an on and off relationship with drugs and alcohol since 2016.. also I have an escapist nature and destructive personality I want to go all in and when I start I want to go consciously insane..

Ok so In about one year period 2017-2018 autumn I was involved in heavy alcohol and pills addiction (anxiety pills, antidepressants, sleeping pills pretty much everything that would make me high) I would mix those together to have "better high" afterwards went to mental hospital 5-6 times in that period because I wanted to kill myself.

And listen to this bullshit I started going this heavy because after 9months of becoming clean from everything and doing yoga, meditations, rtrs and so on.. I drank one beer and smoked few cigaretts and I thought that gods and Satan would never forgive me... Yeah I was younger at the time..

Then in 2019 I ran away from everything to Nederland lived there for 6 months. smoked a lot of weed, did magic truffels maybe 10 times? did some ecstasy 2 times and did one line of cocaine..

Then I come back and started to feeling that I'm sick and tired of this bullshit and I can take control in my hands.. from 2020 march went cold turkey clean from everything and started working on myself doing yoga, meditation and rtr again.. until 2021 28th June came..

So on 28th June I was very stressed about life and personal things going on.. then I went to my hotel to sleep and there was mini bar.. So I said fuck it I'm tired of everything like slow progress and I was alone for so long.. no touch no love not anything of that nature.. So I drink a little bit then I watch porn again 5 videos every 20min.. (I was 3 months clean) then after a week I watched couple more videos..

Then I moved out to a bigger city everything was kinda okay for 2 weeks maybe and then I decided that it would be a good idea to buy a prostitute.. so maybe in 2 weeks time I slept with 3 different prostitutes didn't ask any names or are they jewish (they didin't look like it) or if they had covid vaccine.. later on last 2 weeks I smoked some weed, drank some alcohol again..

Slept with girl who told me afterwards that her grandfather was a jew.. (at least I did not finish just had sex for 15-20 min if that makes anything better..) slept with other girl who had covid vaccine and other mental problems.. then I felt even more shitty and did mdma(ecstasy) 1 gram went on my 3rd time drug induced psychosis..

I don't know what's wrong with me I don't even want to blame enemy attacks or astro transits, because everything was done consciously and because I was tired of everything and wanted some love.. My mind is telling me that is over and there is no going back from this.. BUT I REFUSE to believe that. I will do everything and any working to fix this because yes I'm tired of everything but I'm more tired of letting myself and Satan and Gods down...

Today I started again spiritual sun square and ansuz rune working for porn. (I was doing them from 25 june) but everything went down hill after drugs..
So please help me with anything..

thank you....

 

[MercuryWisdom]

It doesn't take much cleverness to know that you are deep in shit...

But honestly you can overcome it. It will be brutal though. You can't escape it anymore and you have reached rock bottom. Your next actions will decide if you want to sink and die or push the ground and reach for the surface.

Here's my advice.

So now you need to really ask yourself do you want to keep living like this? Or do you want to be free and strong?

You might say you want to be free and strong but deep down you don't want to quit escaping. You don't want to quit momentarily junk pleasure.

If you want to quit you'll have to be fully concious now of your actions, choices and ties to addiction.

I kinda know what you're going through I really do. I have a prominent Neptune and an obsessive Scorpionic personality. I know what struggling with addiction means. Believe me it's a real and brutal struggle.

You will need your full strength and conciousness. Although I can't help you with workings or spiritual matters I can help you know what to expect and what mindset you need.

First, Patience:
There is no more I am having slow progress and feeling like shit let's ruin it all and yolo our lives out.

If you don't learn patience you'll NEVER succeed. These things take time and the same way you stayed years ruining yourself, brain and soul you'll need years to fully overcome it all. You'll have to take it slow but be sure if you never give up YOU'LL SUCCEED!!

Second, endurance and inner strength:
You'll have to be strong now. You've reached rock bottom. Do you want to drown or do you want to breathe?

Just know that drowning yourself with drugs, porn, and destruction is tempting, attractive and seductive you'll need the mental strength to say NO!

You'll need to think conciously. Think in these terms I really feel tempted to watch porn now but what will happen after I finish, how will I feel? Will I feel empty? Will I feel alone and like a failure? Do I really want to feel like this again? I have had enough I WON'T watch porn. Always focus on how you'll feel after indulging in the addiction is finished and you are feeling empty and depressed.

Third, Choices:
All humans make their own choices for themselves. Satan can't make your choices for you. You and you alone have the choice to either give up and give in or stay strong and pull through.

Do you want to quit addictions and be free very much? Good then you'll have to make the right choices most of the time.

The wrong choices can be very attractive so it is incredibly hard to take the right one. But what do you think is more important? Your freedom and strength or some momentarily pleasure that will go away in minutes?

Believe me I know how hard it is to resist the right choice. Especially when you get your blood pumping and your adrenaline rising in anticipation for the addiction. You'll have to learn to be resilient no matter what you feel. Breathe. Breathe slowly and do void meditation or try to focus on something else till the anticipation period fades and you no longer feel like ruining your life for fun.

Fourth, NO MORE ESCAPING:
You can no longer escape now. You either do or die. Either thrive or decay. YOU CHOOSE!
Never try to escape anymore and face your fears, face your emotions and face everything ugly in you and put work on the daily to fix it!

Fifth, Meditate do yoga and spiritual warfare DAILY. NEVER SKIP A DAY NO MATTER WHAT!!!
You feel like shit? You never skip!
You feel busy? Never skip!
Feeling lonely? Never skip!
Feeling tired, exhausted and sleepy? You do your best and don't skip!
Feeling depressed? Never skip!
Feeling awesome? Never skip.
NO EXCUSES NO MATTER WHAT!!

Sixth, purify yourself completely from jewish energies. Most likely it's causing most of your problems. I know what jewish energy is like.
Do this here: https://ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?p=238947#p238947

Seventh, NEVER EVER feel guilt or shame if you relapse.

What is important here is progress not perfection. If you are staying addiction-free for a period a little longer that's progress! Always strive for progress but don't conciously give up either and do your hardest to resist the addiction.

This is most of what I can surmise now. It took me more than an hour to write and edit this. So please take it seriously and not for my sake but for yours. I want to snap a fellow SS from his bullshit so please make sure I am successful. It will take time to overcome this struggle but it's well worth it. To be free in mind, soul and body is well worth 10x the effort needed even.

Hail Satan!!

 

[darkmonkey666]

First off this isn't xtianity there is no forgiveness or divine punishment for this stuff. I sense kind of an xtian way of looking at this here.

This is simply you harming yourself and you will have to live with the consequences of it. So if you continue to do this stuff you will have to fix it later and that may even include reincarnation if you take this too far. The worse you get into it the harder it will be later. Think about it this way cause the Guilt and shame thing is just going to cause you to fail even more most likely.

If you think about it this way and care for yourself and want a positive life that will be what it takes to help you. The motivation

Sounds like you might have some Jewish or angelic energy in your soul too clouding your perception. This will attract you to this stuff and way of thinking. Try to get rid of that. Do the rtr thing often especially the shattering part.

I advise to do a lot of cleansing.

 

[Tody666]

It doesn't take much cleverness to know that you are deep in shit...

Yes I know. I'm very thankful that you made reply mercury. I know what I need to do.. honestly at this point it's mind vs soul. Because my soul WANTS,NEEDS AND CRAVES food (meditations). But my mind is still playing tricks on my one day this one day that and here I'm again at the point 0. I don't mind to start over.. it's just makes my angry after everything I've build up lost in 1 month period... but that okay I will make it, I will prove to myself that I really can make this right and reach my full potential in this lifetime..

To reply slyscorpion it's not like xian bullshit but I don't know I just start imagine how would father feel if he came into room and see his son doing lines of cocaine for example.. it would crush his heart to see that and etc. So after I do "things" I start imagine how somebody from my GD or something watching me from the side and see me doing these things and I'm very intuitive and emotional person so when I imagine this I just become even more sad.. But I think I need to stop doing that and focus on what needs to be done and when time comes I will talk with GD or something what happend back then and analize it together..

But thank you for any future reply's and help..

HS.

 

[Henu the Great]

Do multiple MUNKA workings on individual issues separetely. This way the issue gets unrooted and fixed more easily than if you are doing general freeing the soul working or targeting multiple issues with one working. Ansuz is decent, good even, but Munka is better. Aside from basic cleaning and protection, do a separate cleaning ritual for your chakras. Over time this will remove links to enemy shit and what have you.

I would advise to completely focus on freeing the soul, cleaning and healing for minimum of 180 days (this is two 90 day circles for meditations, should be enough for most issues), maybe more, like a complete year for removing any and all stuff that you have from past lives and from this life. You would be a different person, and when you look back at the point you started, you won't even recognize your old self. After that point your advancement will speed up considerably when you have no old chains keeping you down. Spend every day minimum of 15 minutes for cleaning, the same for protection and use rest of your energy for freeing the soul and rtrs. And Hatha yoga helps you to recover and gain spiritual advancement, among many other things. After freeing the soul process, do healing workings. Target single issues with one working, and make sure that the issue gets checked away for good. You don't want old stuff haunting you. Also build up healthy habits, like exercising, getting proper amount of sleep going to bed before 11pm and mind what you eat. Prepare your own meals from good ingredients. Do socialize and create meaningful relationships outside of subhuman activites. Cut off all communications with trash people who are in the drug scene and the like.

There is no doubt in my mind you can do this when you apply yourself. You are in the right place, and all you need to do is to begin and stay steadfast.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

If you really want to focus your efforts:

Do Sun square for transmuting natal Neptune energies, start Munka this 23rd specifically for drugs, drinking, and porn.
Then, on a Capricorn moon, start a Nauthiz working for discipline, consistency, and endurance. You can program this towards your schedule, or against any vices. Daily void is also crucial here.

You were clean before, you can do it again. This time, you follow it up with Munka to permanently destroy and remove this behavior from your soul. This Munka needs to be continued at least 90 days, possibly more.
Additionally, Sun energy transmuting your Natal Neptune will make it so it doesn't express through drugs, but through positive things like meditation.

You have to be persistent in these workings, as your karma will try to work against you. That is probably what happened with the Ansuz working. This is where discipline comes into play. Also, do as much in your favor as you can. Get away from the degenerate city, delete all drug contacts, get into a support group, improve your health so you don't feel as bad and relapse, etc.

You can do it, but you have perseverance in your efforts here. Don't worry about the last Ansuz working or whatever. Start again, and this time you will get a full 40 day working in, at least.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

...

Just to emphasize: This repetitive relapse you experienced is the nature of karma. Therefore, you have to be doing tons and tons of Munka to remove this from you forever. Your situation is not hopeless; you were clean for long enough to crank out multiple Munka workings, therefore you can certainly beat this problem.

Date:
This 23rd has the moon waning in Pisces, perfect for ending shit karma.
Plan a big Munka working for then, for example 90x or 216x Munka, whatever you can handle.

Affirmation:
"The energy of Munka has now and permanently completely removed any desires, influences, or negative karma associated with drug use, drinking, negative sexual expression, and any and all other self-destructive or escapist tendencies. This energy works in a manner that is completely healthy and positive for me." (x9)

Visualizations: The white-silver energy of Munka moving through you and purifying you.
Visualize something symbolic for each of these: drugs, drinking, negative sexual expression, and the self-destruction/escapism being destroyed. Perhaps 4 big weights falling off your body and then crumbling into dust and disappearing.
Then, visualize yourself as completely white and finally clean and free. Also smile while visualizing this, knowing you are successful and in a much better place then before.

Feel free to modify the affirmation based on how you are most comfortable. Just make sure to hit the key points of addressing each negative item, and doing so in its entirety, as well as in a positive manner.

 

[Tody666]

...

Just to emphasize: This repetitive relapse you experienced is the nature of karma. Therefore, you have to be doing tons and tons of Munka to remove this from you forever. Your situation is not hopeless; you were clean for long enough to crank out multiple Munka workings, therefore you can certainly beat this problem.

Date:
This 23rd has the moon waning in Pisces, perfect for ending shit karma.
Plan a big Munka working for then, for example 90x or 216x Munka, whatever you can handle.

Affirmation:
"The energy of Munka has now and permanently completely removed any desires, influences, or negative karma associated with drug use, drinking, negative sexual expression, and any and all other self-destructive or escapist tendencies. This energy works in a manner that is completely healthy and positive for me." (x9)

Visualizations: The white-silver energy of Munka moving through you and purifying you.
Visualize something symbolic for each of these: drugs, drinking, negative sexual expression, and the self-destruction/escapism being destroyed. Perhaps 4 big weights falling off your body and then crumbling into dust and disappearing.
Then, visualize yourself as completely white and finally clean and free. Also smile while visualizing this, knowing you are successful and in a much better place then before.

Feel free to modify the affirmation based on how you are most comfortable. Just make sure to hit the key points of addressing each negative item, and doing so in its entirety, as well as in a positive manner.

THANK YOU!
I will see about 90x rep. Maybe 40x Because when I started Ansuz working I only manage to do 27x with all other stuff like aop,rtr,yoga and so on.. But now I started with 18x for atleast 40 days.. okay I will search how to do munka thing. and also I've made note in my calander on 2022 august 16. to write how my life changed in one year after making my soul free or atleast very close to that..

I love you all and I'm very thankful for your kind words and help..... I hope we will meet all SS one day and talk about everything like literally everything....

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

THANK YOU!
I will see about 90x rep. Maybe 40x Because when I started Ansuz working I only manage to do 27x with all other stuff like aop,rtr,yoga and so on.. But now I started with 18x for atleast 40 days.. okay I will search how to do munka thing. and also I've made note in my calander on 2022 august 16. to write how my life changed in one year after making my soul free or atleast very close to that..

I love you all and I'm very thankful for your kind words and help..... I hope we will meet all SS one day and talk about everything like literally everything....

No problem.

It should be clear now that solving this karma is the foremost obstacle to your advancement, therefore you should do as much as you can handle in regards to the reps of the energy. You should cut back on your routine where possible to allow for this, and do the Munka as the first item on your routine.

Munka relates to the moon, and is pronounced MOOON-YAH-KKKAAH.

Of course we will all meet, eventually. We have to win our fight first, of course.

 

[Rational Satanist]

Munka relates to the moon, and is pronounced MOOON-YAH-KKKAAH.

No, because Munka is Sanskrit and the Moon in Sanskrit is Chandra.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Munka relates to the moon, and is pronounced MOOON-YAH-KKKAAH.

No, because Munka is Sanskrit and the Moon in Sanskrit is Chandra.

Ahh ok. I think I found the answer then. Munka is the imperative form of the word Muncati, meaning something like remove, release, give up.

Source thread: https://www.ancient-forums.com/viewtopic.php?t=12361
Source article: https://www.wisdomlib.org/definition/muncati

 

[Giszmon666]

I've loged with my old account because I'm too ashamed to post on the real one...

I will start by saying that I had an on and off relationship with drugs and alcohol since 2016.. also I have an escapist nature and destructive personality I want to go all in and when I start I want to go consciously insane..

Ok so In about one year period 2017-2018 autumn I was involved in heavy alcohol and pills addiction (anxiety pills, antidepressants, sleeping pills pretty much everything that would make me high) I would mix those together to have "better high" afterwards went to mental hospital 5-6 times in that period because I wanted to kill myself.

And listen to this bullshit I started going this heavy because after 9months of becoming clean from everything and doing yoga, meditations, rtrs and so on.. I drank one beer and smoked few cigaretts and I thought that gods and Satan would never forgive me... Yeah I was younger at the time..

Then in 2019 I ran away from everything to Nederland lived there for 6 months. smoked a lot of weed, did magic truffels maybe 10 times? did some ecstasy 2 times and did one line of cocaine..

Then I come back and started to feeling that I'm sick and tired of this bullshit and I can take control in my hands.. from 2020 march went cold turkey clean from everything and started working on myself doing yoga, meditation and rtr again.. until 2021 28th June came..

So on 28th June I was very stressed about life and personal things going on.. then I went to my hotel to sleep and there was mini bar.. So I said fuck it I'm tired of everything like slow progress and I was alone for so long.. no touch no love not anything of that nature.. So I drink a little bit then I watch porn again 5 videos every 20min.. (I was 3 months clean) then after a week I watched couple more videos..

Then I moved out to a bigger city everything was kinda okay for 2 weeks maybe and then I decided that it would be a good idea to buy a prostitute.. so maybe in 2 weeks time I slept with 3 different prostitutes didn't ask any names or are they jewish (they didin't look like it) or if they had covid vaccine.. later on last 2 weeks I smoked some weed, drank some alcohol again..

Slept with girl who told me afterwards that her grandfather was a jew.. (at least I did not finish just had sex for 15-20 min if that makes anything better..) slept with other girl who had covid vaccine and other mental problems.. then I felt even more shitty and did mdma(ecstasy) 1 gram went on my 3rd time drug induced psychosis..

I don't know what's wrong with me I don't even want to blame enemy attacks or astro transits, because everything was done consciously and because I was tired of everything and wanted some love.. My mind is telling me that is over and there is no going back from this.. BUT I REFUSE to believe that. I will do everything and any working to fix this because yes I'm tired of everything but I'm more tired of letting myself and Satan and Gods down...

Today I started again spiritual sun square and ansuz rune working for porn. (I was doing them from 25 june) but everything went down hill after drugs..
So please help me with anything..

thank you....

I see you know how to live. I can understand that you want to stop drinking alcohol and taking drugs because you are not immune for those bad side effects. For this a Moon-square would be so much better than a Sun-square. "Slept with girl who told me afterwards that her grandfather was a jew...." It sucks. For this you need a Moon-square again to be able sense jewish people better. But I only don't understand that what is the probleme with porn and prostitues. In the ancient Rome Empire were a lot of legal prostitute in females and males both. "Could you explain" what is the "probleme" with prostitution?

 

[MercuryWisdom]

I've loged with my old account because I'm too ashamed to post on the real one...

I will start by saying that I had an on and off relationship with drugs and alcohol since 2016.. also I have an escapist nature and destructive personality I want to go all in and when I start I want to go consciously insane..

Ok so In about one year period 2017-2018 autumn I was involved in heavy alcohol and pills addiction (anxiety pills, antidepressants, sleeping pills pretty much everything that would make me high) I would mix those together to have "better high" afterwards went to mental hospital 5-6 times in that period because I wanted to kill myself.

And listen to this bullshit I started going this heavy because after 9months of becoming clean from everything and doing yoga, meditations, rtrs and so on.. I drank one beer and smoked few cigaretts and I thought that gods and Satan would never forgive me... Yeah I was younger at the time..

Then in 2019 I ran away from everything to Nederland lived there for 6 months. smoked a lot of weed, did magic truffels maybe 10 times? did some ecstasy 2 times and did one line of cocaine..

Then I come back and started to feeling that I'm sick and tired of this bullshit and I can take control in my hands.. from 2020 march went cold turkey clean from everything and started working on myself doing yoga, meditation and rtr again.. until 2021 28th June came..

So on 28th June I was very stressed about life and personal things going on.. then I went to my hotel to sleep and there was mini bar.. So I said fuck it I'm tired of everything like slow progress and I was alone for so long.. no touch no love not anything of that nature.. So I drink a little bit then I watch porn again 5 videos every 20min.. (I was 3 months clean) then after a week I watched couple more videos..

Then I moved out to a bigger city everything was kinda okay for 2 weeks maybe and then I decided that it would be a good idea to buy a prostitute.. so maybe in 2 weeks time I slept with 3 different prostitutes didn't ask any names or are they jewish (they didin't look like it) or if they had covid vaccine.. later on last 2 weeks I smoked some weed, drank some alcohol again..

Slept with girl who told me afterwards that her grandfather was a jew.. (at least I did not finish just had sex for 15-20 min if that makes anything better..) slept with other girl who had covid vaccine and other mental problems.. then I felt even more shitty and did mdma(ecstasy) 1 gram went on my 3rd time drug induced psychosis..

I don't know what's wrong with me I don't even want to blame enemy attacks or astro transits, because everything was done consciously and because I was tired of everything and wanted some love.. My mind is telling me that is over and there is no going back from this.. BUT I REFUSE to believe that. I will do everything and any working to fix this because yes I'm tired of everything but I'm more tired of letting myself and Satan and Gods down...

Today I started again spiritual sun square and ansuz rune working for porn. (I was doing them from 25 june) but everything went down hill after drugs..
So please help me with anything..

thank you....

I see you know how to live. I can understand that you want to stop drinking alcohol and taking drugs because you are not immune for those bad side effects. For this a Moon-square would be so much better than a Sun-square. "Slept with girl who told me afterwards that her grandfather was a jew...." It sucks. For this you need a Moon-square again to be able sense jewish people better. But I only don't understand that what is the probleme with porn and prostitues. In the ancient Rome Empire were a lot of legal prostitute in females and males both. "Could you explain" what is the "probleme" with prostitution?

He explained his problem is mainly not knowing if they are jews or not.

Also don't compare prostitutes of the pagan world to the utter filth we have today. Most prostitutes now utterly filthy spiritually and physically.

Having sex with a person connects you to him/her deeply. This means problems with filthy people or even jews.