Young Faith
Member
I've just read Tabby and Jrvan's story (escaping from an actual cult) here, and woah, I have few things to say.
First of all, I want to express my utmost and sincere respect and congratulations to both Tabby and Jrvan, and I want to thank them dearly for talking about this, which might've not been easy on their part.
I can't stress this enough: you guys have done wonderful and your story is incredible.
I've rarely felt so invested when reading something.
It was like a horror movie, but worse, because it's real.
Secondly, I couldn't help but feel extremely unsettled by the facts narrated. Naturally, one could say.
But what unsettled me the most was how all these events felt "familiar", although I've never been in a cult, ever. In this life, at least.
I could visualize a little too well what I was reading, and I didn't like it one bit.
But that's not even the worse part--the worse part is the possessions part.
Here I quote the PDF:
The parts I've marked with the bold font are scarily similar to things I've been feeling for years.
Since 2018 (1 year before coming fully to the JoS), all sparked by one-too-many use of weed, I've started to develop anxiety, panic attacks, and then straight up phobias. I've talked about it a lot, to the point which I wouldn't be surprised if it was a known fact for some members around here, who have helped me in the past.
To those members, I'm ashamed to display this lack of improving and healing in this area.
Although, at least, it seem I do not suffer from hypochondria anymore. That's good, but I still have airplane phobia and agoraphobia. I've noticed that my phobias get much worse during summer, with the heat clouding my mind even more.
When I go to open spaces, when my agoraphobia kicks in, what I feel is exactly what Tabby described (clouded/hazed mind, not feeling myself), plus the actual effects of the phobia itself (vertigo, sweating, etc).
If that was the end of it I'd just label it as plain and normal phobia, as a clouded mind is normal with such issues during a crisis.
But it's not.
I can feel this lack of awareness/consciousness even now, and in many moments, my will is slippery and hard to latch onto, the voice in my mind tries to harm me every time it can (I made a post about this much time ago, I must say though that now it's better), like disrupting my thoughts, making me think horrid things, visualizing terrifying POVs (like being killed by a psychopath or being the psychopath myself), or like when trying to do Aura of Protection meditation, when I want to affirm "I'm inspiring powerful energy of protection" my mind tries so damn hard to instead say "energy of destruction", it feels this "excitement" of putting myself in risk and harming me, and now that I've gotten better, I can FEEL that it's not ME who gets excited by this, I can feel that this excitement doesn't belong to my consciousness (I kinda just realized it while writing about it).
So, at this point I'm starting to get strongly convinced that I've had entities attached to my soul/aura for years, and that those might have been the source of all my phobias that have crippled me greatly through these last 5 years.
I wanted to share this "realization" with you because I felt incredible realizing it, and to see what you guys think about it, and to ask if you could direct me to some proper workings for astral entities binding/removal. I don't want to be a leech, so I'll head off to seek those myself immediately after submitting the post.
If you've made it this far into the post, thanks.
It means a lot for me if you went through all that wall of text.
Always and Forever, Hail Satan.
First of all, I want to express my utmost and sincere respect and congratulations to both Tabby and Jrvan, and I want to thank them dearly for talking about this, which might've not been easy on their part.
I can't stress this enough: you guys have done wonderful and your story is incredible.
I've rarely felt so invested when reading something.
It was like a horror movie, but worse, because it's real.
Secondly, I couldn't help but feel extremely unsettled by the facts narrated. Naturally, one could say.
But what unsettled me the most was how all these events felt "familiar", although I've never been in a cult, ever. In this life, at least.
I could visualize a little too well what I was reading, and I didn't like it one bit.
But that's not even the worse part--the worse part is the possessions part.
Here I quote the PDF:
tabby said:
The parts I've marked with the bold font are scarily similar to things I've been feeling for years.
Since 2018 (1 year before coming fully to the JoS), all sparked by one-too-many use of weed, I've started to develop anxiety, panic attacks, and then straight up phobias. I've talked about it a lot, to the point which I wouldn't be surprised if it was a known fact for some members around here, who have helped me in the past.
To those members, I'm ashamed to display this lack of improving and healing in this area.
Although, at least, it seem I do not suffer from hypochondria anymore. That's good, but I still have airplane phobia and agoraphobia. I've noticed that my phobias get much worse during summer, with the heat clouding my mind even more.
When I go to open spaces, when my agoraphobia kicks in, what I feel is exactly what Tabby described (clouded/hazed mind, not feeling myself), plus the actual effects of the phobia itself (vertigo, sweating, etc).
If that was the end of it I'd just label it as plain and normal phobia, as a clouded mind is normal with such issues during a crisis.
But it's not.
I can feel this lack of awareness/consciousness even now, and in many moments, my will is slippery and hard to latch onto, the voice in my mind tries to harm me every time it can (I made a post about this much time ago, I must say though that now it's better), like disrupting my thoughts, making me think horrid things, visualizing terrifying POVs (like being killed by a psychopath or being the psychopath myself), or like when trying to do Aura of Protection meditation, when I want to affirm "I'm inspiring powerful energy of protection" my mind tries so damn hard to instead say "energy of destruction", it feels this "excitement" of putting myself in risk and harming me, and now that I've gotten better, I can FEEL that it's not ME who gets excited by this, I can feel that this excitement doesn't belong to my consciousness (I kinda just realized it while writing about it).
So, at this point I'm starting to get strongly convinced that I've had entities attached to my soul/aura for years, and that those might have been the source of all my phobias that have crippled me greatly through these last 5 years.
I wanted to share this "realization" with you because I felt incredible realizing it, and to see what you guys think about it, and to ask if you could direct me to some proper workings for astral entities binding/removal. I don't want to be a leech, so I'll head off to seek those myself immediately after submitting the post.
If you've made it this far into the post, thanks.
It means a lot for me if you went through all that wall of text.
Always and Forever, Hail Satan.
