How can I get out of depression?/I need a help

[Eureka]

Greetings brothers and sisters,

First of all, the reason why I didn't open this topic in the Turkish forum is because we Turks are an emotional society and we need time to get over all the events. (I was using AI when I wrote this paragraph, but don't worry, I can understand everything in English, you don't need to translate your answers. I just couldn't write it.)

I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I hate myself, I don't know why, I didn't come from a loving family, I was the unplanned child and I was made to feel that way growing up. Maybe that’s why. but I'm not sure anyway, I set my life purpose to help others, I lived to fulfil people's wishes. And of course, it was abused. I've never thought of myself as anything more than a sack of shit. Before came here, I was in such an abusive relationship, it wasn't even romantic or sexual, I couldn't think of anything else but to run away. I think I don't deserve anything and I hate myself. I think I should never have been born. I'm unecessary and usuless or I felt like that.I'm normally a successful and intelligent person, or so people say. I grew up in an oppressive family, but somehow I managed to go abroad, but nothing has changed in my life. I don't communicate with people, I don't do anything new. I think about the mistakes I made before, I can't move on. My self-hatred has taken on another dimension. I feel disgusted with myself because I got the money from my parents to go abroad, and also because I could not get out of this depression despite changing countries. I am used to doing everything myself and this is a first for me. Actually, JoS is my only hope, I read articles written on forums and sometimes I also did meditations. There were times when I was strong enough to do RTR. But for three years I haven't even finished 40 days of meditation.

I overestimate even the smallest mistakes I made. I feel so tired and I want to finish everything. I started to hurt myself physically and I can see alarm bells ringing to me. I want very simple things, to be able to concentrate like before, to do fitness, to communicate with people, to improve my English. Whenever I try to get better, I get in a bad mood again and think about suicide. Especially since I have been living abroad, I have been torturing myself by going through all the mistakes I have made in my life. Although I forgive even the greatest evil done by other people, I never forgive even the smallest mistake I make myself.

I feel like nothing is going to change in my life. As well as my mental health, my physical health has also started to deteriorate because of the weight I have gained. I explained myself to the father of Satan in the standard ritual, I started 40 days of meditation again, but I need to change my thinking that nothing will change in this life. I am unable/unwilling to do a lot of spiritual work because I am not spiritually developed But even though, if you know of any work I can do, I would like you to let me know. Honestly I don't feel like I can handle this cycle of depression one more time, I'm waiting for your help, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't be hurtful

 

[Umun]

Hello,

it is a difficult struggle to overcome depression, I sure as hell know. Let me assure you before anything else that if you put in the work needed and start improving little by little you will be healed and a new high quality life can be yours. It does take time, a lot of willpower and sometimes help from friends, family, professionals or any kind of support structure. Here you have us and the knowledge how to heal and advance yourself which is without the shadow of a doubt the most effective way of dealing with mental health issues.

Remind yourself as often as needed that you deserve to be happy, you do have enough strength to beat this and react to counter any depressive thoughts as they arise.

Exercising helps a great deal. Find a suitable activity and stick with it. The endorphins released from sports or any kind of physical activity are an efficient remedy for depressive disorders but you have to be consistent no matter how much you don't feel like doing it when you're down.

And last but not least, ask Father Satan to help you with this. There are Gods that specialize in healing such as Lord Valefor but any demon, your guardian or anyone you feel comfortable reaching out to can provide invaluable assistance.

Good luck and never give up.

SWP

 

[Eureka]

Hi again
It's a relief to hear that when I start to do something, even if it's slowly, I'll be okay in the end. Because I understand from your article that you have already fought depression and won. I have a nature that wants everything to happen all at once, which probably makes it very difficult for me. But I think I'll feel better if I break things down into small pieces and make them happen. Thanks for the advice.

I don't have a sports background but I don't see any reason not to join the local fitness centre. I also like walking, I can walk instead of using public transport.

I've lived like this for so long that it feels like things won't change, but it's a relief to hear from someone else that they will.

Do you know of any rituals I can do to ask God Valefor to help me with this?(Considering my lack of spiritual clarity)

Thank you for response
Heil Satan/Kayre Satan

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

....

There are a lot of different elements here. You need to understand first that the main cause of depression is a lack of fire, however one's individual clues give more insight into further causes. This lack of fire shows not just on a surface level, but in the structure of your expectations and demands you place on yourself, as the fire element promotes self-interest and self-motivation.

This can go even further, where people who have lived such lives place extraordinary blame or guilt on themselves for the conditions of others, or their own lack of ability to help them, which is unrealistic, but can set the stage for major self-degradation based on these expectations you have created. It is a karmic cycle you need to break, which happens over time as you follow this path.

There is no reason why you cannot put lots of energy into other people, whilst also helping and growing yourself in a happy way, but it will take time to realize this and grow these new structures in your soul. However, it is necessary to do in order to feel better.

-------------------------

With the above having been said, you must continue your spiritual advancement at all cost, and drop any pretense against this. It is easy to get depressed and feel hopeless, but this is far from reality and far from the actual potential of your soul. It is not actually that hard to change these problems, in the grand scheme of life, but it does take spiritual effort. This is true even as a spiritual beginner.

First, you must understand that self-value and evaluation of usefulness is mainly solar-driven. The status of your natal Sun defines how and where you are valuable, as does the 5th house. Restrictions to any of these, or the sign of Leo, cause problems with self-evaluation.

Therefore, the solution to this would be to raise the energy of Sowilo and program it to increase your self-esteem. This can be done as a temporary boost, but a permanent solution should be worked on, as well. Do this for a long time, as it sounds like a major problem for you. If you need help setting up the specifics of this, let me know.

For problems with other people, as well as countering depression more directly, you must use Wunjo for these problems.

Additionally, any spiritual work involving fire should be done, including work on the solar chakra, breath of fire, kundalini yoga, solar kriya exercises, and so on. Clean and empower the solar chakra very well. This helps not only with mental optimism, but also physical energy in regards to your weight problems, as the stomach's digestion is an aspect of the Sun (a creative furnace that fuels the body).

If you have trouble with spiritual work, focus heavily on the basics of mind control, and also do lots of physical asanas and pranayama, as this doesn't take any "special powers" to do, but will help open up your soul to the astral. These are the simplest ways to make yourself feel better and gain the energy for more work.

Other aspects of the lower chakras should also be thought about, as for example the base chakra and Saturn would help you control your mood and give you a sense of realistic calm about the situation, such as understanding how things are not actually as bad as they may seem, nor will they change overnight. It would also help you keep away from abusive situations, and so on, although this will take effort to fully resolve.

There is probably more to talk about, but I will let you read over everything here first.

 

[Blitzkreig [JG]]

Do you know of any rituals I can do to ask God Valefor to help me with this?(Considering my lack of spiritual clarity)

Any of the Gods can be contacted with their sigil. You should also meditate on their sigil and feel their energy flowing into you. It is very important to have contact with the Gods, even if you are not directly asking anything.

Ask for help now, but once you feel comfortable with your spiritual situation, push yourself into doing the full power ritual of Valefor or other Gods in order to give back, but also empower your own soul with their energy. You can do reduced rep rituals if you need to.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I hate myself, I don't know why,

Deep inside, you know why.
Ok, as said, meditation and staying on the path is paramount here. Even if you feel obstacles inside, do not give up as this will worsen problems.

As far as I can see, you look like a traumatized child. I mean, somewhere in your childhood, you most likely have experienced traumatic events/abuses of some kind (physical, sexual, psychological, etc.) who caused your self-hate.
This is more common than it seems, I am one of them and I learned how to spot at a glance traumatized people, there are many more than people think.You look like one of the unfortunate "club".

The point is: the root of your self-deprecation lays inside your mind, but most often it's not possible to consciously reach it. It lives inside a sort of thoughtform attached to your soul, that generated at the moment of the trauma affected your mind. Common books call it "inner child", in truth this is a part of the mind that collected all the negative emotions and stored into a "protected" zone where they cannot be consciously reached: this is needed to survive. Anyhow, this "child" affects your feelings and ideas and keeps you stuck into self-hate because the child has been led to believe he is the cause of his suffering, and generally is evil of rotten (that is NOT the case).
For this reason traumatized people are called "survivors" as their mind engineered a system to keep up living, by separating sad memories.
You can read some texts about PTSD to have an idea of how the mind works here (be careful with jewish interference on books).

This may sound complicated but it may arise with meditation so being prepared to face buried memories or feelings is of big help.
Just the basic undertone to keep in mind is : AS A CHILD, NOONE IS ABLE TO DEFEND HIMSELF FROM BEING ABUSED, SO THE ABUSER IS TO BE BLAMED, NOT THE VICTIM. YOUR SELF-HATE IS NOT YOUR FAULT, IT'S THE OFFENDER'S FAULT. WHATEVER HAPPENED, IT'S NOT YOUR FAULT.

Keeping this is mind, walking along the Satanic path, it's possible to know yourself as it's very often said on the JoS. Advancing is also knowning youself, but this may reveal some unwanted facts that are difficult to accept. This is part of growing, you are possiblY reaching the point of acknowledging some truths that live buried in your mind. Overcoming is possible.

I hope I have been of help, I am struggling since years with all of this, with slow but concrete progress, so if I may be of any help just let me know.

 

[Eureka]

" post_id=474755 time=1701126870 user_id=21286]

....

Thank you very much for the information. Whatever I feel, I make sure that the first thing I do in the morning and the last thing I do in the evening is meditation and I'm really pushing myself to do it. Today I started a study on the sowilo rune, I say my aformation 7 times after 20XSowilo. I would like to ask if there is a problem with the numbers and I would like to learn the number required for the Wunjo study (since I am in a troubled period in terms of continuity, I would appreciate if you share the minimum numbers).
I have another question about the runes also, I'm a pellet and even in my native language I find it difficult to make some sounds. In some runes I can't make the sound of any version correctly, is this really a factor that affects the work? I don't want to think that it is.
And I looked at my natal chart based on the information you have given, I am not surprised that the sun is in the 10th house, but I know that it is in my hands to purify it from toxicity. And also I know, I need time for that
I took note of the work with the fire element, but as I am still at the beginning of the 40 day meditation, I think other work can be advanced. My current work plan is simply to stick to the 40 day meditation programme no matter what, work with the sowilo and wunjo runes and the yogic breath and kundalini yoga routine, but would it be okay to do the parts of kundalini yoga with fewer repetitions until I get used to it?
Thank you so much for all of these information

Hail Satan/Kayre Şeytan

 

[Eureka]

Hello,
I think so I know.
I am making a real effort not to give up meditations because, as I said, I have no other hope. Therapy is unfortunately not something that works for me, I wish it did. You are right in your observation. Afterwards, I somehow repeated that abusive cycle too many times, but the last one made me fall apart. It's a cliché, but he was the only person I trusted and valued in my life, I treated him like a family member, he was my teacher, he was my older brother, I learnt everything about work from him. After all these years I had someone I could really trust. You can probably guess where this story ended up. He isn't even the gender I was attracted to.

I guess the important thing is that I'm here today.
I read lots of source related to PTSB, I can understand why I feel like that, but it didn't provide me a real solution, or I don't feel like that. I could be problem, I am not sure
I think I'm ready to face everything. This depression took up a very long time in my life and I think I would do anything to feel like I'm alive again.

I'm glad you're making progress, even if it's slow, my self-harm started after I believed that nothing would change. I think everything is easier when you have hope, especially after seeing your own progress.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with me

Hail Satan/Kayre Satan

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

I'm glad you're making progress, even if it's slow, my self-harm started after I believed that nothing would change. I think everything is easier when you have hope, especially after seeing your own progress.

Very sorry this happened to you.
This may come from past lives.I am still working on this but I seriously think I have been in a gulag or so in a past live, wonder what happens to people in there. My GD told me I will acknowledge past memories slowly, as it can be too much for me now.

Well, based on my experience you can progress even if you don't notice it consciously, as it happens deep inside. Depression and lack of energies can be the result of internal struggle between your "parts" , as it happens to me. The self-blame EP (emotional person, according to texts, that I believe is a strong thoughtform created by repressed emotions) won't allow changes because he/it feeds on feelings of non-deserving a better life. It should be worn out in the long run by reprogramming your feelings (I used MUNKA to correct negative impulse). The worst is self-blame. Once I overcome this feeling, I found repressed anger towards the offender(s) emerging. You can channel it with revenge Rituals.

I still have much to learn but, this kind of abuse is more common than I thought and is a real plague preventing progress and preventing lives to run smoothly.
My thought is, if you are here and you have acknowledged past facts, you are at a very good point.
If you have been defenseless for a short while and you fell victim of an abuser, it is NOT nor it will ever and never be your fault, but it's the abuser's fault. There is a very big energy vortex behind those people, when an abuser subdues a victim, it's not a strong person doing that. There's a giant vortex of energies and, if you and me have fallen victim, this is NOT our fault or our weakness because a bigger "enemy" took us where we have been weakened by psychological manipulation. So this is a sort of scam, a sort of crime, NOT out fault.
Now that you have Satanic powers in your hands, first of all you are not alone anymore, and you cannot be a victim due to knowledge and power.
Last, I found Van der Kolk's books are quite interesting about PTSD. (Does not seem a jew or too much jewed, IMO).
I wish you a good healing - Satanism deserves good people like you.

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

I just forgot to add. Once I overcome self-blame, my life improved.
I was refusing anything of value for me, for example, I used to buy the cheapest white t-shirt with no colors and use it until (and beyond) worn out - now I am able to pick up better clothes without feeling "wrong". This happened without my knowledge, simply one day I found myself worth of better stuff, when internal struggle resolved. I needed more than a year to reach this point.
Still struggling, but I climbed a step up.
Don't give up!!

 

[Eureka]

I just forgot to add. Once I overcome self-blame, my life improved.
I was refusing anything of value for me, for example, I used to buy the cheapest white t-shirt with no colors and use it until (and beyond) worn out - now I am able to pick up better clothes without feeling "wrong". This happened without my knowledge, simply one day I found myself worth of better stuff, when internal struggle resolved. I needed more than a year to reach this point.
Still struggling, but I climbed a step up.
Don't give up!!

Thank you
I don't know what to say, that's why I waited a week before I sent this post. I didn't want to write before I felt better, before I got things in order.
I still don't do meditations regularly, but I do them whenever I think of them, and I can also say that working with the SOWILO rune feels really good.
A lot of things at work have settled down, I'm able to take shifts now, although there are still problems. I'm speaking romantically with someone from my own culture.
Even though my moods are unstable, and I still get incredibly nervous when I speak, I still have crying spells, good things are happening. I wanted to share this. I needed to believe that good things can happen and things can change. I have that belief now.
I have faith in this community, in the gods and goddess. I think I also have faith that I will be okay. Fighting PTSD is a long journey, I have had bad thoughts about myself for a very long time, but I know that change can happen.
The last sentence means a lot, Satanism deserves good people like you. I don't know how many times I said this sentence to myself this week.

Buying the cheapest of everything, thinking that other people deserve it and you don't deserve anything, this is very basic thing but actually it explains a lot things, I'm glad you've gotten past that point. Even though it takes time, it's great that it's over. I'm at the beginning of this path too, I want you to know that I'm smiling as I'm writing this sentence. Because I have a path now.

I would also like to add that I researched the author you mentioned and got one of his books. (I haven't started yet. When I finish the book, I'll comment again. But according to my search, those are good)
Hail Satan/Kayre Şeytan

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

Eureka I am glad you feel better and I am happy I have been of help.
Feeling alone or not understood, is one of the worst feelings I experience, being part of a strong family with the Gods is the best you can find in your life! This goes way beyond the bad stuff happened to us. The jews are behind all of this, even indirectly, they created this rotten social plague that is abuse. But they have not been able to prevent us finding the Truth and the Gods. This has a big value.
The Gods showed me I am worth and there's hope by simply helping me, this showed me their consideration for myself, and gave my healing process a boost.

Feel free to post on here, I read the forums from time to time. I still have much to learn and to do, but sharing facts may be of common help. There are other survivors on here, I can feel this, even if they do not post this does not mean people are reading. Speaking out is a big step, many are still too afraid to talk about abuses, so they possibly listen. It needs time.

The last point, I found out many survivors build a strong ego as a sort of shield for the weaker "part(s)" of personality. This strong ego can be extremely efficient and proficient in Satanic Spiritual War, or other activities for the Gods.

Even RTRs seem to help cleaning this kind of problems at the Soul level.
So - basically - it's a matter of not letting the scared and afraid "part" prevail too much, while healing happens.

I read "The body keeps the score" by Van der Kolk even before consciously knowing about my childhood abuse. This books triggered some memories that popped up months before, I think it's a useful text. I also think my GD guided me to this books without my knowledge, at the time.

Satanic Souls want to heal, fight and advance. No matter what, even if damaged, we are somehow unstoppable!

 

[Sta_Satanama]

разум

Eureka I am glad you feel better and I am happy I have been of help.
Feeling alone or not understood, is one of the worst feelings I experience, being part of a strong family with the Gods is the best you can find in your life! This goes way beyond the bad stuff happened to us. The jews are behind all of this, even indirectly, they created this rotten social plague that is abuse. But they have not been able to prevent us finding the Truth and the Gods. This has a big value.
The Gods showed me I am worth and there's hope by simply helping me, this showed me their consideration for myself, and gave my healing process a boost.

Feel free to post on here, I read the forums from time to time. I still have much to learn and to do, but sharing facts may be of common help. There are other survivors on here, I can feel this, even if they do not post this does not mean people are reading. Speaking out is a big step, many are still too afraid to talk about abuses, so they possibly listen. It needs time.

The last point, I found out many survivors build a strong ego as a sort of shield for the weaker "part(s)" of personality. This strong ego can be extremely efficient and proficient in Satanic Spiritual War, or other activities for the Gods.

Even RTRs seem to help cleaning this kind of problems at the Soul level.
So - basically - it's a matter of not letting the scared and afraid "part" prevail too much, while healing happens.

I read "The body keeps the score" by Van der Kolk even before consciously knowing about my childhood abuse. This books triggered some memories that popped up months before, I think it's a useful text. I also think my GD guided me to this books without my knowledge, at the time.

Satanic Souls want to heal, fight and advance. No matter what, even if damaged, we are somehow unstoppable!

How's the
Are you doing right now? Have you been healed? Became a living person instead of a survivor?

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

How's the
Are you doing right now? Have you been healed? Became a living person instead of a survivor?

Thanks for asking.
Well it's a long walk, I am healing myself slowly - much is personal but I can say, I climbed some huge steps up with permanent progress, so that I cannot go down again. There is much I need to fix, at least now I am aware of what I need to do and what I can expect.
The most important point is I reached a sort of mind stability where I can focus on each problem without loosing emotional control.
So, again, there is hope in any of us, the Gods are wonderful in showing you the right "fact" at the right moment along the path of recovery. Also, this leads to spiritual progress, in my experience, as removing bad/karmic shit opens the Soul to slowly elevate and get closer to the Gods.

 

[Sta_Satanama]

Thanks for asking.
Well it's a long walk, I am healing myself slowly - much is personal but I can say, I climbed some huge steps up with permanent progress, so that I cannot go down again. There is much I need to fix, at least now I am aware of what I need to do and what I can expect.
The most important point is I reached a sort of mind stability where I can focus on each problem without loosing emotional control.
So, again, there is hope in any of us, the Gods are wonderful in showing you the right "fact" at the right moment along the path of recovery. Also, this leads to spiritual progress, in my experience, as removing bad/karmic shit opens the Soul to slowly elevate and get closer to the Gods.

it's great that you're doing this. I picked up that book you recommended - The Body Remembers Everything. I'll read it.
Although I've read a lot of stuff already, we have similar problems. But I'm just, like, dying. I'm a drug addict. It seems that it's easier to die than to solve all this, there is no motivation, the gods did nothing for me, as it seemed to me before (when I passed the initiation). My life has been joyless and still is. I'm thinking about seeing a therapist

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

 

[miracle's sonne]

Any of the Gods can be contacted with their sigil. You should also meditate on their sigil and feel their energy flowing into you. It is very important to have contact with the Gods, even if you are not directly asking anything.

Ask for help now, but once you feel comfortable with your spiritual situation, push yourself into doing the full power ritual of Valefor or other Gods in order to give back, but also empower your own soul with their energy. You can do reduced rep rituals if you need to.

Hı I have one question,sir.
How can we work with the energy of the gods? What kind of meditation should we practice? How should we imagine?
How can we strengthen our souls with their energy?

 

[Engineered Trasformation]

it's great that you're doing this. I picked up that book you recommended - The Body Remembers Everything. I'll read it.
Although I've read a lot of stuff already, we have similar problems. But I'm just, like, dying. I'm a drug addict. It seems that it's easier to die than to solve all this, there is no motivation, the gods did nothing for me, as it seemed to me before (when I passed the initiation). My life has been joyless and still is. I'm thinking about seeing a therapist

Translated with www.DeepL.com/Translator (free version)

The book I read is "The Body Keeps the Score" by Van der Kolk, did you get a different book ?
Anyway there are many good readings around , just check they are not by a jew before reading.

Seeing a therapist is a good help, I did that, although they have no Satanic knowledge - so you'll have to deal yourself with appropriate meditations and energy workings - a good therapist is able to work on the mental side of the problem by helping to build a better way of thinking and may help to direct you out of destructive behaviors and out of self-blame and self-hate. So it's advisable, be careful not to find a jew, ask your GD to suggest the right person for you. I dealt with a person (not a therapist, but had to do with self esteem) with many of his planets in my 12th house, the result was, he had a strong appeal on my unconscious mind and helped to free some emotional patterns. Interactions with "normal people" is of help, the Gods do know how to send you towards a person that will do good for you. Just be grateful to him/her, in case.

Now you say the Gods did nothing for you; I have seen in my experience when you ask for help, this may take time. Thinks may develop slowly and, after months or even years, looking back to what happened showed me how much the Gods helped and guided me, even if at the time I was not fully aware. Don't thin they will not even try to guide you, it's a way the enemy uses to let you down (the gods do not care of me? Ok I'll leave. This is what the enemy wants you to do). Just go on - if you have been able to go on all your life, why not going on now that you are on the right path ?

Drug addiction is a big problem as keeps your mind weak. I do not know what kind of addiction you have, but you need to break free. Just observe when Uranus is going to aspect your natal Neptune, this may be a good moment to start leaving drug addiction.

Also. A fresh start is a big help, I mean, new environment, new people around you, if you want a new house or job. This is because, in a new place or job or friendship, you WILL SEE yourself different as old habits may keep the mind in check and continuously link it to old and bad habits. I do not know if you car climb a step by changing lifestyle, but this will be of big help in freeing from addictions and weakness.

The root point in all of this is: whatever may have happened to you, to you-young or you-child, whatever happened is NOT YOUR FAULT but is in full the offender's fault. This is the pillar of your recovery: you are not guilty not responsible. Keep telling this to yourself every single day as I did and I still do, and progress and recovery will start. If you feel responsible, you feel of no value, therefore you feel you do not deserve to heal, and - last - your mind wants to die as a form of relief. There is no relief as next life would be the same, if you die now.

The world is full of nonsense people, NPC who only damage the environment, hate each other, spend money in stupid stuff to prevail over other people on the material side, and mostly act according the jewish mind.
So ask yourself: which on is of higher value? A stupid brainless person walking like a zombie, or a weakened drug addicted who has the strenght to survive "misfortune" and found Satan, and wants to better himself and the world arounf him ? You know the answer.
If you do not live, you'll deprive the world of your personal value, that is needed; the worls would feel that a person of value "is gone" and would be replaced maybe by a newborn jew? So the value balace of the world will sink lower, instead or raising higher if you stay here.

Having said this, look around you for an escape path. Drug is escaping reality. Death is escaping reality. Why don't you escape reality simply by creating a new reality for you? You will, at the end, escape present reality. Leave behind your back, all the past. My therapist said, we do not need to focus on the past, but on the future instead.

Good luck, you are not alone when you choose Satan, even if often it seems so. I know how it feels, feeling alone.

 

[Sta_Satanama]

The book I read is "The Body Keeps the Score" by Van der Kolk, did you get a different book ?
Anyway there are many good readings around , just check they are not by a jew before reading.

Seeing a therapist is a good help, I did that, although they have no Satanic knowledge - so you'll have to deal yourself with appropriate meditations and energy workings - a good therapist is able to work on the mental side of the problem by helping to build a better way of thinking and may help to direct you out of destructive behaviors and out of self-blame and self-hate. So it's advisable, be careful not to find a jew, ask your GD to suggest the right person for you. I dealt with a person (not a therapist, but had to do with self esteem) with many of his planets in my 12th house, the result was, he had a strong appeal on my unconscious mind and helped to free some emotional patterns. Interactions with "normal people" is of help, the Gods do know how to send you towards a person that will do good for you. Just be grateful to him/her, in case.

Now you say the Gods did nothing for you; I have seen in my experience when you ask for help, this may take time. Thinks may develop slowly and, after months or even years, looking back to what happened showed me how much the Gods helped and guided me, even if at the time I was not fully aware. Don't thin they will not even try to guide you, it's a way the enemy uses to let you down (the gods do not care of me? Ok I'll leave. This is what the enemy wants you to do). Just go on - if you have been able to go on all your life, why not going on now that you are on the right path ?

Drug addiction is a big problem as keeps your mind weak. I do not know what kind of addiction you have, but you need to break free. Just observe when Uranus is going to aspect your natal Neptune, this may be a good moment to start leaving drug addiction.

Also. A fresh start is a big help, I mean, new environment, new people around you, if you want a new house or job. This is because, in a new place or job or friendship, you WILL SEE yourself different as old habits may keep the mind in check and continuously link it to old and bad habits. I do not know if you car climb a step by changing lifestyle, but this will be of big help in freeing from addictions and weakness.

The root point in all of this is: whatever may have happened to you, to you-young or you-child, whatever happened is NOT YOUR FAULT but is in full the offender's fault. This is the pillar of your recovery: you are not guilty not responsible. Keep telling this to yourself every single day as I did and I still do, and progress and recovery will start. If you feel responsible, you feel of no value, therefore you feel you do not deserve to heal, and - last - your mind wants to die as a form of relief. There is no relief as next life would be the same, if you die now.

The world is full of nonsense people, NPC who only damage the environment, hate each other, spend money in stupid stuff to prevail over other people on the material side, and mostly act according the jewish mind.
So ask yourself: which on is of higher value? A stupid brainless person walking like a zombie, or a weakened drug addicted who has the strenght to survive "misfortune" and found Satan, and wants to better himself and the world arounf him ? You know the answer.
If you do not live, you'll deprive the world of your personal value, that is needed; the worls would feel that a person of value "is gone" and would be replaced maybe by a newborn jew? So the value balace of the world will sink lower, instead or raising higher if you stay here.

Having said this, look around you for an escape path. Drug is escaping reality. Death is escaping reality. Why don't you escape reality simply by creating a new reality for you? You will, at the end, escape present reality. Leave behind your back, all the past. My therapist said, we do not need to focus on the past, but on the future instead.

Good luck, you are not alone when you choose Satan, even if often it seems so. I know how it feels, feeling alone.

Thank you, brother. You've inspired me!!! I will solve my problem and be happy.

 

[Dragonheart666]

Sometimes I like to do a couple of God rituals to help me when I'm depressed, and I think that along with meditation should help some especially if you are dealing with depression

 

[Osiris]

Do cleaning and protection. Do lots of Hatha Yoga. Breathe from the Sun

 

[Impetigo]

Greetings brothers and sisters,

First of all, the reason why I didn't open this topic in the Turkish forum is because we Turks are an emotional society and we need time to get over all the events. (I was using AI when I wrote this paragraph, but don't worry, I can understand everything in English, you don't need to translate your answers. I just couldn't write it.)

I've been depressed for as long as I can remember. I hate myself, I don't know why, I didn't come from a loving family, I was the unplanned child and I was made to feel that way growing up. Maybe that’s why. but I'm not sure anyway, I set my life purpose to help others, I lived to fulfil people's wishes. And of course, it was abused. I've never thought of myself as anything more than a sack of shit. Before came here, I was in such an abusive relationship, it wasn't even romantic or sexual, I couldn't think of anything else but to run away. I think I don't deserve anything and I hate myself. I think I should never have been born. I'm unecessary and usuless or I felt like that.I'm normally a successful and intelligent person, or so people say. I grew up in an oppressive family, but somehow I managed to go abroad, but nothing has changed in my life. I don't communicate with people, I don't do anything new. I think about the mistakes I made before, I can't move on. My self-hatred has taken on another dimension. I feel disgusted with myself because I got the money from my parents to go abroad, and also because I could not get out of this depression despite changing countries. I am used to doing everything myself and this is a first for me. Actually, JoS is my only hope, I read articles written on forums and sometimes I also did meditations. There were times when I was strong enough to do RTR. But for three years I haven't even finished 40 days of meditation.

I overestimate even the smallest mistakes I made. I feel so tired and I want to finish everything. I started to hurt myself physically and I can see alarm bells ringing to me. I want very simple things, to be able to concentrate like before, to do fitness, to communicate with people, to improve my English. Whenever I try to get better, I get in a bad mood again and think about suicide. Especially since I have been living abroad, I have been torturing myself by going through all the mistakes I have made in my life. Although I forgive even the greatest evil done by other people, I never forgive even the smallest mistake I make myself.

I feel like nothing is going to change in my life. As well as my mental health, my physical health has also started to deteriorate because of the weight I have gained. I explained myself to the father of Satan in the standard ritual, I started 40 days of meditation again, but I need to change my thinking that nothing will change in this life. I am unable/unwilling to do a lot of spiritual work because I am not spiritually developed But even though, if you know of any work I can do, I would like you to let me know. Honestly I don't feel like I can handle this cycle of depression one more time, I'm waiting for your help, and I would appreciate it if you wouldn't be hurtful

What I have found in life and I hope can help you, is that my own personal happiness (and I'd like to assume that of everyone else) is largely derived from having positive thoughts about the future - i.e., things to look forward to which we yearn for or we know will bring us joy. The general idea that things are getting better is crucial to programming your energy stream that your consciousness sits on. Everything is magnetic in this world, I think.. loving yourself is important and can be achieved by feeling grateful for what you are and what you have and by having a healthy connection to the gods which we should also love and feel loved by.


You should look at your depression as a deception you are enacting upon yourself - look at it through the lense that it is inaccurate and untrue. It is an erosive path we get magnetically clung and conducted to. You have the power to break the spell, though this will require you to muster up courage and resistance against the negativity you are feeling. It can be uncomfortable to force a shift of mood but it is necessary and over time we can program ourselves to naturally conduct more positive currents of energy.


Ultimately I believe your first step needs to be finding something to draw love/positivity from. The gods will help guide you to such a thing.

I hope this can be of use to you.. it's not easy but if you stay focused on the goal of changing how you feel, you will eventually succeed.